You know that feeling, the one where you're fully focused and engaged? That was what cultivation felt like. At least that's what it felt like when I was doing it correctly.
It felt smooth. Slow and even, cultivation was a calm pool and I was a duck swimming furiously under the water.
Then I thought about Lauren, and how I had left things, Rachel and Courtney and how they would be without me and...it was no longer smooth. I was brought out of it bodily. I couldn't hold it back and after a while of avoiding the inevitable, I just took an afternoon and had a good cry.
The good part about having my dream spirit was that I could go back and see old memories, so long as they were strong enough.
The bad part was that I could go back and see old memories.
"We believe in this family, we always have. It's just that Lauren and I have had some talks recently and... I'm worried that we're holding onto you guys too tightly."
"Dad, you're literally crushing us," Rachel told me.
"Yeah dad, what Rachel said," Courtney told me.
I noticed that neither one wanted to let go. I accepted this. You only get so much time with them before they're all about other things. True, they were both teenagers, but still. A dad has to take his moments.
"Next thing he is going to do is tell us that he can't wait to have grand babies," Rachel said.
"Yeah dad, that's so 1900s. We're not having babies, unless you count fur babies," Courtney said, giggling.
"Now, I never said anything of the sort...hey stop tickling me! I'm going to get you both!"
Some people get overwhelmed with choices and though I don't ascribe to the decision fatigue theory personally, I get where that is coming from. If the option was to hang out with my girls in a manufactured dream, I would probably do it way more than would be healthy though. I told Min to make sure to bring me out if someone needed my attention.
I took a lot of time experiencing old Tai Chi lessons as well. My mother hadn't died, but I wouldn't be seeing her any time soon. True, they were a but like watching and doing the lessons at two point five speed, but the point was that I was training even in my dreams.
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"There was this strong line in the Ming coda, the emperor as a youth tells his friend, 'You can teach someone to follow your path, but you can't walk it for them.' This whole dream into reality though, it had me wondering if perhaps the immortal Emperor does not know everything," Xueyie said.
I had been thinking something along those lines. I had only taken Xueyie and Egiya into the soul dream. They had both benefited from it a lot more than I thought was possible. Both were fighting against comically oversized troll monsters, wyverns and the occasional pudgy dragon. As the person whose bonded spirit was making this possible, I also received a small amount of dream qi every time they dropped in. It felt like I was filling up a candy jar between the two of them.
Of course I was filling it up with the sour Skittles that came from Xueyie and the chocolate m and M's that came from Egiya. It was a disconcerting mess through and through. Disconcerting and delicious, don't be a hater, just because I know what I like. And what I like just happens to be a handful of surprise crunches. Will it be chocolate? Will it be sour? Only time will tell.
"Is the Ming Coda a book, or a series of plays or?"
"The Ming Coda is the standard upon which civilization rests, but yes it is a series of plays. The entire governing principles that the emperor set our- consent of the governed, using power to protect the weak, egalitarian life, all of these and more were codified by his hand."
We were skipping the afternoon session, instead going on a walk. It was the first time I had been out in the open since developing my ability to mask my qi. The aura suppression techniques that I had been taught felt in practice a lot like bottling up emotions. I didn't like that with people- bottles were meant to be used.
"Your control has gotten better. I can only sense you when I am within a very close proximity," she said, edging closer.
"I had a good teacher. So your family, your theater troupe, reveres Ming?"
"Emperor Ming, yes."
"And he was the emperor nearly four hundred or so years ago? Before he ascended?"
"That is correct."
She paused at an open air stall that sold some form of meat on a stick. Without even breaking my stride I grabbed a few Lengs from my pocket. The smooth stones clinked into the vendor's hands.
"But you're not..." I dropped my voice conspiratorially,"As big of a fan of the current one?"
I was trying to not spell things out at the moment. I didn't want someone to misunderstand.
"This could be considered as close to correct," she replied, accepting the rat shaped savory treat.
We continued walking, casually munching on the mystery meat that I did not want to look too closely into.
"But you are-shall we say- at odd ends with your family?"
"That is also correct."
"Would it be presumptuous to assume that you share their views?"
"That would be presumptuous."
We turned a corner. I motioned for Min to hop off and take a corner. She would watch to see if we were followed. The same motion indicated that we would be making the next turn four times in a row in order to return to the same place.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
It just so happened to be a right turn. We made four rights and returned to where the moon spirit had done its best impression of the stone work.
"A lot of the buildings closer to the central and Northern district are made of stone or marble, where most of the further out are made of wood."
"No one wants to live far from the northern district. Or at least no clan with money. Sects need lands-clans need estates. The Taoist clan in particular is odd because we stay at the behest of the government. We used to travel a lot more when I was younger, before the surge in spirit beasts kept us caged up here."
I nodded, finishing my stick. Min rejoined me, her presence a familiar itchy sweater over me.
"No one needs such luxury," she said in an imitation of my voice, low enough for the two of us alone to hear. That and rejoining me was her telling us that we were enjoying our corporeality far too much. She could become partially tangible, and reach out and touch someone but not fully until the third realm.
"Very well," I said as we continued onward,"say -I haven't yet taken a gondola ride yet. Would you care to take one?"
She smiled and before long we were in the series of interconnected canals that separated the different neighborhoods and made it so the rabble couldn't just walk into the governor's estate. It was simple enough to hail someone from the canal guild to bring us to the Northern District-Jade Home.
The crowded inner city feel of Crows murder fell apart as the three meter tall walls of the canals absorbed the sounds. We could still hear the occasional clatter, but the near silence felt meditative. I put my hood down to get a good look.
"Miss, I'm only letting you know as a professional courtesy that your friend here is ugly and that his likeness has been passed around the guild," the gondola man said, eyeing me cautiously.
No stranger to the grift scene, Xueyies took the man's acting in stride.
"Perhaps he is, but you're not even a first realm cultivator and this man is near the second realm-"
"Hey-" I interjected, trying to bring us back into focus.
"And he may or may not have a short fuse. He did just lose his beloved after all."
"Alas my one true love," I said, clutching my heart, "Lauren I was so wrong!"
I was in that moment grateful that I had been acting so long with my ex wife that lying like this came naturally. I hadn't ever wanted to lie to Lauren and to the kids? I only lied about what presents they would be getting.
"Regardless, it would benefit us both if he hid his dome piece. And if you made it worth my while."
I made a mental note to not let her do all the transactions. That probably led to this. I pulled my hood back over tight.
"Give the man a Leng," I said as calmly as I could.
"Or give him more and make him a source," the little voice whispered in my ear.
I narrowed my eyes.
"We're not going to threaten anyone today, my good sir," I said, extending my aura as his eyes widened,"But neither will we be taking threats lying down. So you can accept our money and give us information courtesy of your guild or there might be a problem, mister?"
"Deng, sir. This one is called Deng."
The sheen of sweat over his body betrayed him.
"Deng. Whatever this woman tells you next-and I do believe that you should listen to every *single* word she says in great detail-will make your life easier."
Xueyie was all too happy to give him very particular directions as to how to help himself to a small finders fee and how to deliver notes to a certain inkwell shop.
The rest of the gondola ride wasn't unpleasant but a casual observer would be able to tell that Deng was highly motivated to get us to our location. If you have never ridden a gondola being moved by a first realm cultivator at top speed, well you may be missing out on one of life's little gems. We got to Jade home and there being no guard in front of the dock, we hustled up to the rich neighborhood.
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If you have ever driven by a private school with a large budget, you'll have an idea of the idyllic area that Jade home has been turned into. If an Ivy league school had babies with a high school you wouldn't be too far off. Besides the governor mansion, most of the buildings were academic in nature. Either boarding houses or classrooms for the well connected.
This was the place the elites sent their children either before they went to do a few years of training at a Sect or before they took some functionary job for their clan or in some cases the government itself. Cultivators tended to separate themselves from the regular population after the first realm, and since the majority of people never passed that, it was something distinct for a person to make it to the second or third realm. Higher than that? I hadn't met anyone yet but based on what Bluey had told me they were superhuman in every way.
A man at the peak of the first realm was equivalent to an Olympic athlete in just about every sport. When someone advanced further it was then that they left the realm of possibility. So the self selection itself was a way for young masters to not begin a campaign of genocide. Sure, the mundane humans were good for work that cultivators couldn't be bothered to take care of, and in turn cultivators were expected to fight off hordes of spirit beasts if needed.
"This area is quite... It's not what I expected," Xueyie said,"I haven't seen anyone without clan robes. No servants at all. I'm glad that I wore my clans robes today or I might have stuck out. You just look like my bodyguard at this point."
The imposing cloak made me feel a bit like Batman, to be certain, and as I scanned around for potential threats, I felt like a dark knight.
"No servants?"
"There's always servants. It just means that there are some underground access tunnels or something."
"Underground but above the water level?"
"It makes sense. As troupe performers we need to know a lot about where we set a stage so often we use servants' entrances."
I gave her the knowing look. A raised eyebrow, trying to get her to expand. I hadn't been raised in an acting family. True I had done that one improv workshop, but name one person in Los Angeles who hadn't done that.
"There's servant tunnels? I guess it makes sense."
"They'll all connect to an external door usually. They're wide enough to accommodate a lot of back and forth, if you would believe it."
"If you see one, point it out to me, would you?" I said.
The men and women we passed had a look. Now I'm not a fashion expert, except for as it pertains to brassieres, but you could say that the colors here were flamboyant. Loud whites made me think that these were year round colors and that we were in a tropical area. The accompanying clan or sect colors pointed out the division between the madding crowds. With few exceptions, groups were homogeneous as they walked next to the canals.
I knew that north of Jade Home there was no far side. The city stopped as it met the sea. I could smell the salt in the air.
We did a slow loop around the buildings that comprised the government's goal for its blue robes, the faction responsible for policing matters. Every other one of them had to be at the peak of the first realm and several were higher. I was seeing a lot of people bottle necked there. Whether it was terrible coaching or just inability, it seemed that it was at least a base level of difficulty to get past that hurdle.
I was immediately grateful for the coaching that I had gotten. To be fair I didn't have far to go, but I wanted to keep the win in my column.
We finally passed a large open park where people of all colors mingled. She nodded that we could stop. I had indicated that I wanted a place where we could be noticed but not harassed. First she didn't know what harassment was then she was all apologetic after I gave her the definition. We sat under a red spider Lily tree as the red blossoms flower around us.
"Xueyie, when you think about your path, and the way that it can change..."
"I see a path to independence. As the head of my own troupe. I see a break from the martial path. I see... I see peace as I progress undaunted on my own without the clan, going farther than they could dream."
"I like where your head's at, Xueyie. Let's find a way to get there."
Cultivating out in the open wasn't frowned upon. It probably could have been, what with one being so open to attack. So when we made the group decision to cultivate for a little while together, we scanned the area. Min would alert me if someone came to disrupt us and I would be up in a flash.
I needed that because we were going into her dream this time.