"This? This took a long time."

"You're holding a book that's about as thick as I have seen out here. That's... that's a lot."

"I have to have all of the references down pat. My father might be able to memorize all of these runes, but I'm not able to do so."

Did I want to turn the conversation to something else? As we stood in front of a large totem, Kang Egiya and I both basked in the warm air.

Up above me, I double checked. One sun. There was probably a world map somewhere, and I had no idea what the relative relationship between the two stellar bodies were. Based on if this was Earth, with us moving the direction I had assumed was south, we were either south of the equator, or something else was going on. The sun was relatively north of us.

"Egiyas, do you have a map of the world? Or this continent?"

"It's mostly blank on the interior of the continent, but yes. I can draft one for you personally as a thanks for our last...er."

"We call them sessions. We can talk now if you would like?"

"Sessions. Okay."

"Now that we have talked a little bit, we should have a conversation about your goals. Where you are and where you're going. Or at least how you want to go there."

"I don't even know-I don't understand the realm of possibilities."

"Well then let's just think about this. You are only really able to affect your own mental state. You can't go changing other people. If your father was normal and mundane, say he would be pleased with everything you are doing, but since he is a formations expert, he probably is disappointed in you. And it's not your fault. But you can be better about how you approach your interactions with him."

The formation array expanded outwards as Egiyas pulled on something. The three dimensional image flashed up in the air, and if I didn't know any better, I would say she was trying to zoom in.

"That was amazing, by the way."

"I want... Oh thank you. I want to make my own way in the world," she said, before cycling the large formation runes several times. The projections of the brown and golden runes circles the tree as she methodically went through them.

"How do you want to do that?"

"Ideally as a cultivator. I know that I should have the spark, but I have... I have struggled to live up to father's standards."

"That is difficult. My father made a lot of money so he expected me to fall into a similar career path, so..."

"It's just... I have been stuck trying to draw in aura, like I have this block somehow and... And nothing will jog it loose," she said.

"You have a lot of pressure to live up to your father. I understand. But maybe the pressure of being perfect weighed heavy on you. You tell people that you're fine, but inside you're dying."

She reached out a hand placing it on my shoulder.

"Everyday I'm pushing as hard as I can on the accomplishments I have made trying to stay positive..."

A lifetime of holding back emotions wasn't worth it. She was silently crying. I placed my hand over hers.

"Are you taking care of other people also?"

"My mother's she..." Egiya looked at the ground,"she depends on me now. She had an accident which left her meridians destroyed. She can't cultivate anymore, she is a cripple and she relies on me. I have been..."

Her voice got very quiet and small.

"...I have been wishing sometimes that she had just died when the accident happened. It's just so much and father has given up on her. She still needs help a lot but she is a proud woman. Still she also doesn't know how to fix my cultivation or if I can even be fixed. Both of my parents had the spark! How could I not?"

I didn't know if cultivation was genetic or not. That made sense to me, but I would have to look into it. There seemed to be a large martial and spiritual component as well. That was a long term question and I still needed a new place. Either way, the girl was hurting.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

"I don't need to tell you to take some space for yourself but maybe we don't need to talk for a while and you can think about what YOU want from the world, cultivation, or whatever you fancy."

I wished that I had a little tea set and some cookies to give her to complete the whole picture of the two of us having a nice therapeutic picnic.

There was a convenient bench on the interior of the space that the totem protected. I breathed in aura as Egiyas breath slowed from the frantic pace it had been. The natural aura around us was strong, and I was getting a whiff of dream aura coming off of her.

I didn't want to rush her, as I had seen too many friends rush into things. Rather I wanted her to really sit with her emotions, process them and come to a conclusion. Telling her to just become a healer or something would just short circuit her process. She wanted something more out of her life, and I wanted her to have it. At least a small part of that was driven by me wanting her input on various questions I had about the seedy underbelly of the city. It was getting more and more poppy filled the longer I stuck around, not that I had apparently a way to leave.

Thinking about it in another way, the whole 'you're stuck in here because of totems' probably meant that I couldn't just run away if a shady deal had gone wrong. I was kinda here. That meant that they were all in here with me, at least until I grew the ability to leave the areas that the totems protected under my own power.

My questions for her grew. It was clear that humanity was existing in other places around, not just here. How then did trade exist? Was there trade over the water? That was probably a question for another day.

As she sat in her contemplative silence, I saw her face flutter. She was making decisions. Decisions upon decisions, if one could believe that. That would be another one for my list, making a decision to actually plan things out instead of lurching between things. I realized that I had been very reactive when I'd arrived and I definitely wanted to put a stop to that. But in order to get ahead of that, I would need to actually sit down and talk to Fei and Xiru.

Xiru wanted to do something with the Moon clan and further the interests of his cartel. Fei, while great was a liability. He would be a good go between, but the chances of him getting intercepted as a way to get to me had already happened once. I wasn't directly interacting with these Sects in any real way, but they still had agents everywhere.

I glanced back to the city, now a more vibrant looking place than when I had first arrived. It was probably the clarity of time, or more likely, the changes due to my cultivation making the scene so much more of what it was.

It felt like both of us were on a precipice of sorts. Working with the Moon clan had shown me how close I was to a breakthrough. I hadn't the faintest idea of what getting to the next realm meant more than power and an expanded soul, but while I spent my time trying to pointedly not think about my daughters or Lauren, yeah I needed to concentrate on something else. I didn't generally recommend distraction as a course of action but then again what therapist took their own advice?

This guy, unfortunately did not.

"If is helps, I feel like I'm close to some kind of breakthrough. That might be helpful for you in this time," I told her.

Seconds later her talisman was out and once again she was looking at me.

"Do it. I need more time to think about this but this has been helpful. Show me what you do and..."

I nodded and got into the lotus pose. Old me wouldn't have been able to do this for so long and it was like I was all new here.

I breathed in and out, pulling the ambient aura into myself, trying to turn it into Qi. Gather qi, pack it in, repeat.

In a manner of speaking, my cup was full and I kept adding to it. But I could feel a change, and I went for it. The cup-and I know I am butchering this metaphor but stay with me- grew to accommodate where I was and then?

I felt it.

A wave of nausea, bliss and hubris washed over me as breakfast washed out of me. It wasn't pleasant and it reminded me of that time I had pounded three liters of Guinness and swore it off that one time.

Now, I hacked as everything came into focus.

In between retching I gave a weak thumbs up to Egiya. She probably didn't need to see that. Instead, she looked horrified.

"Where the hell are you from?"

If looks could kill she would be well on her way to a manslaughter charge.

"I'm uh-"

I was thinking that honestly may have not been the best policy at the moment but I was going to do my damned best to not destroy what we had built together.

"I'm from Earth. It's a different planet. Look I was just... I stepped through a door and now I'm here and I'm far away from my daughters and I can't get back and..."

She moved circling around me.

"Why did you ..." She narrowed her eyes.

"Look, if there is something going on that I'm not tracking, please tell me. I'm... I'm telling the truth."

The ground beneath me felt solid and I felt like I'd had about ten blue oxes. Lauren really was on me to quit, her thinking that my heart wouldn't take it. Well, she was wrong at least in this account. Didn't mean that I didn't regret what I'd said to her.

---

"You don't see yourself as being tied down any longer? Joe, you have two daughters! what are Courtney and Rachel going to say?"

"I...I don't know what I'm going to tell them!"

It was true. In my idiocy, I hadn't thought that far ahead. I just had been hit with the itch to get out, and in my haste I had run roughshod over Lauren.

She cried. She had waited until her mid thirties to get a sperm donor after she just couldn't find the right guy and she had a son. Did she think I was her savior or something? No. She did probably think that I was the one for her, and I'd been feeling that way for quite a while. I wished that I had met her earlier. Except for my two daughters. I might have changed how long I stuck around with my ex, but I wouldn't change them. If we'd met earlier? We probably would have been married by now. Little chance of that with me in a different world though.

She stormed off. This weekend was supposed to be special. Her son was with her mom, and my daughters were with their mother. Courtney was actually at a sleep over with her best friend, now that I recall it. One of her dance friends had invited her. Rachel was with her mother. I was glad that my ex lived close and that we had an amicable shared agreement but god damn did I put my foot in my mouth on the start of what was supposed to be a great weekend.

---