Jessica is giving up her dream job that pays less than her husband, Jesse’s, to follow him out of the trailer park and into the big city. Will her need for privacy win out for his need for an open floor plan? Join us on this episode of Slum House Hunters to find out.

We’ve been told by our producers that we don’t really connect with the average viewer so this episode of Jessica and Jesse we are going to look at what a realistic budget can get the couple instead of the average over the top priced homes we normally show on this channel.

Host: Now Jessica, you told us you’re looking for a few closed off rooms like the bedroom and the bathroom, is that right?

Jessica: Yes, I know Jesse really wants an open floor plan but I need to know when I’m sleeping or in the shower or on the toilet, I’m not on display by anyone else that might be in the house.

Host: Jesse, I understand you want a totally open floor plan.

Jesse: That’s right, I want the entire house to be wide open, I want to be able to see everything.

Host: But don’t you agree that the bedroom and the bathroom should be private?

Jesse: We ain’t got no secrets, I [beep] in front of her all the time.

Jessica: It’s not that I actually enjoy that you do that.

Host: Okay, getting back to the house hunt. I’ve found one house that might meet what you both are looking for.

The camera pans to show the agent and the couple getting out of the black HGTV truck. Both couples are standing in front of a ranch style, split level 1970s era home. There’s some weeds growing in the garden but the grass is mowed.

So this house is a three bedroom, one bath, the kitchen and living room are both open floor plan, the bedrooms have curtains and the only interior door is to the bathroom.

The camera follows the trio as they enter the house. As described there are no walls, not even a partition between the kitchen and the living room. The bedrooms have light curtains hanging in the door frames.

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The bathroom door is cracked in places, a small hole about the size of a small dog is at the bottom.

Jessica: This place is okay but I’d like to see what else you have to show us.

Host: This is it, this is the only house in your budget that meets what you are both looking for that I can show you.

Jesse: Honey, I say we take it.

Jessica: Wouldn’t you at least like to know something about the school district or anything at all?

Jesse: Okay, I guess you’re right. So what else can you tell us?

Host: Well like I said it’s either this house or we start looking at mobile homes.

Jesse: No more mobile homes, I’ll take it.

Jessica: Can you at least show us the backyard?

Camera pans to the trio standing outside in front of a cellar door.

Jesse: What’s this?

Host: It’s the root cellar, aka basement, aka doorway to Hell. You don’t need to see inside there.

Jesse: That sounds cool, I’d love a man cave in there.

Host: You can’t. There’s already someone living there.

Jessica: How can you sell a house if someone already lives there?

Host: You’d be buying the house, not the cellar. Although it’s located directly under the house, you won’t actually own the cellar.

Jesse: Can we at least meet the neighbors?

Host: Not while we’re on camera. After you buy the place, you can meet them if you want, but I’d advise against it.

Jesse: Once we own it, we’ll do what we want, right, babe?

Jessica: You mean, you’ll do what you want.

Host: Well that’s all the time we’ve got folks, see you all next week as we take meth heads, Tanya and Terry mobile home shopping.

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“Why didn’t you tell me those pants made me look fat?” Jessica said sitting on the couch watching their episode of Slum House Hunters.

“Oh honey, you always look sexy to me” Jesse said leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

“They say the camera adds ten pounds” Said the demon sitting on the recliner with a bowl of popcorn.