Lying is weird to me. Sometimes I feel like don't know if what i'm saying is a lie or not. At the same time I'd like to never lie. Lies usually just make more problems, and don't really solve anything.

Lying to me seems like a method to avoid shame, but you feel the shame of your actions whether or not you tell anyone about it. So why is lying then what people do in shameful situations? Maybe it's to avoid any extra shame that could be felt from admonishment.

Are there any situations where lying is of any benefit at all? Perhaps if you're talking with someone who doesn't know you at all or when the truth coming out is impossible?

When I say I don't know if I ever lie, it feels like a lie. Because of course I would know, I'm the only one who would know. it seems so paradoxical. I should know. Maybe it's about topic complexity. The thing i'm trying to say is too complex to say and I don't have enough effort to go into detail to make sure you get what i'm saying. So I simplify the contents enough that it feels like a lie.

That feels like it's not the entire case though. And perhaps it is true sometimes but not always. This chapter is probably my brains attempt at figuring out a method to my madness. If it is I didn't get informed, so please don't blame me :)

What should a parent do when a child steals from a cookie jar? What should a parent do when a child lies about stealing from the cookie jar? Should a lie just be ignored and should they just admonish the child for the cookie part, what does that teach a child? Lie better? Lies don't matter? Well in my opinion if you don't specify a direction it will probably be either or, but not both. So if someone lies to you and you know it's a lie. Address the lie?

What should you say to a liar? "Don't lie to me," Isn't that just the same problem? it could be just taken as the message of "Lie to me better," Which is not something you want anyone thinking really.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

As someone wiser than me once said, communication is key. And what you communicate about can bring about an entirely different result in the relationships between people but what's also important is how you communicate something.

So what I say I would say to a liar but actually wouldn't, because I don't actually think about anything i say, pretty much ever. or rather this sort of thinking isn't really on top of my mind when it should be. But what I think I should say when someone lies to me is "why did you lie?", or maybe "why did that sound like a lie?" because "why did you lie" sounds like an attack and usually the first response to that would be to defend with denial or something of such nature.

You can't say "I didn't lie" to "why did that sound like a lie" though. They will be defensive, but they will have to think more about their response. And it's non accusatory, so maybe if it actually wasn't a lie, you can figure out together what about it bothered you. Instead of being forced into defensive roles, defending what might be a lie.

Ego is a scary thing. If you ever feel like you're wrong, your first instinct is probably to be right, and how can you be correct? Convince yourself that you're correct, then the other opinion doesn't matter. You can probably see what sort of a problem this would create. The truth never mattered, only being correct does.

Now that's not for everyone, and every situation. But I've certainly been wrong and absolutely refused to budge on my point out of pure ego.

So if you ever think someone is horribly wrong, don't tell them that. Ask them why they think that. Telling someone they're wrong never brings anything new to the conversation. Asking about the reasoning does.

So maybe my problem with the inability to know my truth, is just that I don't know why I'm thinking what I'm thinking, and I should thus dive deeper into the thought process. A bit like I'm doing here, I didn't start this for that reason though, lies just were on my mind and I ended up here. But I acknowledge that it's entirely possible that my subconscious just won. I'll never admit it though because I'm better than some non existent thoughts. Totally not an ego thing >:)