Chapter 88.

The day inevitably passed by with me unable to get anything done again. I tried to make it look like I was busy by occasionally getting up and going to the washroom or wandering around like I was looking for someone. Sometimes I heard voices call out to me from the darkness and I was forced to answer any questions they had. 

Again, I could only make general conjectures based upon what they told me about the problem. Whenever they asked if I could take a look, I was forced to flee. I just claimed I was too busy with an important assignment from the boss.

I did my best to try and adapt as fast as possible to this lifestyle by making use of the limited time I had to memorize the building’s layout. I counted the number of steps and committed them to memory as I mapped it all out in my head.

If I really lost my remaining two senses, how would I possibly be able to survive on my own? I knew that sort of thing was impossible.

In spite of understanding how futile my little struggle was, I thought, and I thought over it endlessly as I wandered about everywhere. I’d never thought so much about anything as I had over the last two days. A life without senses, was it considered a life at all?

Before I realized it, my shift was already over and I heard people in the background saying their goodbyes.

I confirmed the time with Siri and it was true, my shift was already over. Another day had been wasted without finding any answers about how to escape this nightmarish reality.

“Mr. Genovese, are you taking a bus today?”

It was none other than the voice of the person I’d placed my trust in.

“I was planning to, but could you give me a ride?”

“Me? My car is still in the shop. They keep stalling and it’s really getting on my nerves.”

“Still? How about using my car then?”

“Hmm. Why don’t we just take the bus together? I’ve always wanted to bus with someone I know.”

“Okay... I guess.”

If I took it with her, maybe it wouldn't be as mentally taxing as the last few times. That was my line of wishful thinking. It would be good to get as much practice in while I still could. Driving in this state was far too dangerous. If I continually lost my senses at the present rate, taking the bus would be my only means of survival if I was left on my own. 

I followed behind Boss without a word as I anxiously watched her back, afraid it too would soon disappear.

She didn’t say anything, but her presence alone was enough to keep me sane right now.

We boarded the bus together and she took a seat near the front. I stood directly in front of her looking through one of the rectangular gaps in the peculiar formation of fireflies. Outside the gap, there were countless swarms of fireflies traveling alongside and behind us.

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“Just what is it you’re seeing right now?”

“Nothing. Only you and some fireflies.”

“So everyone else except me is as insignificant as a firefly in your eyes? So... what you’re saying is, you only have eyes for me? Should I take that as a confession of your undying love?”

“Your choice. Even I don’t know what the meaning behind it is. Perhaps there may not even be any meaning behind any of it.”

“You really have the worst way to serenade a woman with words.”

“Mm. I won’t deny that. It’s the truth after all.”

When it was our stop, we got off and entered my apartment building. Just like the last two days, there wasn’t anything different. Once we reached my unit, I took a shower while I could still feel the soothing warmth of water running over my body. After I refreshed myself in the shower, I proceeded to my bed. 

It was just another boring day in my life, but it felt far too different from the normal life I was used to. I was drained again and I wasn’t in the mood to joke around about it. Each second that passed by, my awareness that I was one second closer to losing something important grew more and more distinct in my mind. It was like a guillotine constantly hung down over my head. It could fall the second I closed my eyes and failed to reopen them.

It was like knowing the time of your death, but worse. It was worse than death as I would still be living through an empty soulless world devoid of all life. It was like being sentenced to eternal damnation while still being a part of the living.

When Val finished her shower after me and noticed how despondent I was, she laid down on the bed beside me without saying anything. Her face was directly in front of mine, taking up my entire field of view.

I was thankful. Right now, she was the only thing left in this abyssal world that I could depend on. 

How did things come to this? 

When did I become so weak?

Why am I so pathetic?

Why do I have to suffer through something like this?

Isn’t this world too unfair and unforgiving?

Many other questions floated through my mind as time slowly ticked by. 

Warm.

In my zoned out state, that single word came to mind.

When I focused on the origin of that warmth, I immediately discovered what it was. She’d wrapped her arms around my head pulling me close to her body. My head was pressed firmly against her chest. I didn’t realize when it happened, but I chose not to pull away. Her warmth was the only thing I had right now, and I didn’t want it to disappear. I was so terrified that it too would leave me that I returned her embrace.

I was really pathetic right now. I knew that. Uncertainty towards my future had truly left me crippled.

With her presence giving me a strange sense of security and reassurance, I fell asleep in her arms.

...

When I woke up, this time, the darkness was gone. The world had returned. The sight of my bed, the walls, everything was back. Though she was gone. In a panic, I jumped off my bed and searched everywhere in my apartment, but she was nowhere to be found.

I rushed to work and asked everybody if they’d seen her, but whenever I asked about her, they only gave me a weird look like there was something wrong with me. When I asked them about it, my coworkers told me there was no such woman in our company. They even claimed our boss was an old middle-aged man.

I refused to believe them and went to her place only to find an abandoned lot. There was nothing there. There was no trace of her. It was like she’d disappeared from the face of the Earth without any evidence of her having existed.

I was completely devastated. I fell to my knees and cried out in madness towards the sky. I shut my eyes tightly from the overbearing pain in my heart, but no matter how I cried out to her, she never returned.

…