Chapter 71.

When I confirmed her arms were wrapped tightly enough around my neck, I discovered a great blunder made on my part. Her body, firmly pressed against my back left not the slightest room or gap between us. For certain unexplainable reasons, I was left in a rather uncomfortable position.

Still, I sucked it up and steeled my resolve, I just had to put up with it for the time being. I placed my hands behind me, right below her upper thighs to support her from below. When I did, I heard a sheep-like girlish yelp from behind me. She didn’t say anything about it, but her legs reflexively clenched together a bit more and dug into my waist. She instinctively pressed her forehead against the back of my neck, caught off guard by my proactive approach. 

Her reaction caused my back to reflexively straighten up when I felt her heated breaths running down the back of my neck. I myself was slightly flustered when I noticed the sweet scent from her hair that dangled slightly over my shoulder. It fluttered through the air on its own when her face drew closer to my body.

I definitely didn’t want to admit it to her, but even with the way she presently was, she was still more than capable of sending my heart fluttering out of control. In the past it was a result of fear, now it happened to be thanks to her pure feminine appeal.

Due to several contributing factors, I really had a very difficult time carrying her on my back. One reason was attributed to her occasionally adjusting her position on my back. Sometimes resting her forehead on the back of my neck, while other times resting her chin on my shoulder. 

It might not seem like a big deal, but when you listen to a woman peacefully synchronizing her breathing, harmoniously with yours, right beside your ear at that, it’s problematic for many different reasons. Whenever her silky soft cheek slightly brushed up against the side of mine, I couldn’t help but wonder whether she was just born malicious in nature, just doing it spitefully to get back at me for getting on her nerves at the start.

The only thing I had to be thankful for was that it was cool outside in the forest right now, so I wasn’t immediately sweating buckets trekking through the woods while carrying the cumbersome load on my back.

However, after twenty minutes of her torture, I couldn’t hold back anymore and asked, “could you please stop moving around on my back so much? It’s making it very difficult to walk.”

“Sorry, but beggars can’t be choosers.”

“You-“ 

“Cheeky little girl?” She interrupted.

“Slut.” Her response was more than enough confirmation for me, she was definitely doing it all in spite after all.

“Rude unappreciative old man.”

“I’m only thirty.”

“You’re practically a geezer then, aren’t you?”

“Hahaha, if I’m a geezer than aren’t you just an ugly old hag?”

“I take offense to that. It’s pretty old hag to you.”

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“We’ve got a narcissist here, I take it.”

“Well, I’ll let you off for now since you’re carrying me. Hohoho. Anyway, your lies sure are easy to see through when you have a built-in lie detector.”

“...”

With no excuse to be had for my body’s instinctive reaction to her, I shut my mouth and continued following the marks I’d left on the trees on the way to the mansion. Though after journeying for an additional thirty minutes, my feet were killing me and I really needed to take a break.

“You’re too heavy I need to rest a bit.”

“I’m not too heavy. You just have too little energy because you’re working on an empty stomach.”

“No, it’s really just because you’re too-“

“Because you’re too hungry.”

“No, like I said before, you’re too fa-“

“Fabulously underweight? Fantastic with a hot bod? I know. I know I am. Thank you for the compliments.”

“Is it really that much of a taboo?”

“Do you want to die?”

“...” I really didn’t.

“Whatever you say, Ms. Memoryless.” I chose to cut my losses and compromise.

I was honestly too tired to continue retorting to her when I realized she looked like a bored young lass who could still talk up a storm. I stopped responding to her after I’d gotten my two cents in. She’d occasionally tried to start a conversation after that, but I paid her no heed, I only concentrated on recovering my stamina.

Eventually, she gave up and obediently rested on the log I sat her down on. She was, of course, no stranger to pouting and sending me dirty resentful looks when I treated her like air.

When I thought about how my psychotic ex, the former Adele, had turned into such a normal girl with such a high level of girlish charm, it made me feel remorseful over the twisted and sick lifestyle she was pushed into. She could have been an ordinary girl, found a normal lover, and lived a happy life if it wasn’t for her twisted fate. If she was born into an average family, instead of a rich one that secluded themselves out in the woods, things would have surely turned out much better for her.

There’s really nothing that could be done about that now though. There were no what-ifs, buts, or maybes in this cruel world, what’s in the past was unchangeable and absolute. Time travel was only possible in fictional stories and fairy tales.

Half an hour later, I picked her up again and we proceeded further away from the mansion hidden in the woods. This time, she was much more docile and well behaved compared to before. Thanks to that, I was able to continue on for a good hour before I needed another break. We repeated this process several more times, and it started to get dark. We’d set out from the mansion in the late afternoon, but the sun which was once visible, high in the sky, had now almost fully sunk below the horizon.

Adele had gotten quieter and quieter as time passed by and she talked less and less the darker it became. I could sense she was uncomfortable, anxious, uncertain, and worried.

I used an app I installed in advance on my phone and I was able to forage for a few edible berries and plants along the way to satiate our appetite, but Adele was clearly troubled over something for quite some time now.

When I put her down this time and looked her in the eyes, she turned her head to the side like she felt too ashamed to look at me. I didn’t bother to probe since it was none of my business. Once I dropped her off in the city, we would part ways and I would likely never see her again. That was what I planned, and that was what I thought would be for the best for both of us. I wanted to give her the chance to properly find someone she really loved and find true happiness. I definitely wasn’t the person that could make her happy after I’d already failed her on so many occasions.

With how messed up I’d become over the years, I’m not someone who can make another person genuinely happy either. It’s like Val described, I’m just a soulless empty shell of a person without a single likable feature. Now that I really think about it, I don’t have the right to be together with this innocent version of Adele.

I’m always just running away from her and I end up making things worse instead of better. When we first met, when I discovered her secret, when we reunited after five years apart, when I chose to let her die, and even now I’m choosing to run away again. I’ve done nothing for her at all except fail her as the man she once loved. I’m really just a coward and a fool without a single redeeming trait to his name.