Chapter 52.
After I ended the call, I returned to the living room. I found Val curiously staring at me like she was waiting for me to speak up first. With my lack of a response despite her making it obvious that she wanted to know, she eventually broke the silent deadlock.
“Well? Was that a secret mistress of yours? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Mr. Genovese, I never would have imagined you’d be THAT type of person.”
“It’s was the police.” Ah. I instinctively retorted.
“Oh? Were they already onto your unusually high levels of sexual harassment and calling to give you a warning?”
“How did you know?”
“It’s good to see that you’re aware you’re a closet sexual harasser. Anyways, were you given the okay to return to your apartment?”
“I’m not a closet sexual harasser, but yes, I was told I could return to my apartment now.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll always be a closet sexual harasser in my heart. So, what do you want to do now? Surely my loyal employee, Mr. Genovese, wouldn’t want to be as shameless to say he wants to stay here and not return to his own place, right?”
“Can you please drop the closet sexual harasser thing? Also, what are you plotting now?”
“Plotting? Me? I never plot against my valued employees, Mr. Genovese. What do you want for breakfast?”
“Don’t lie, you smell like the biggest schemer in the world. What can you make?”
“This is why you’re not popular with normal women, Mr. Genovese. I can make a lot of things.”
“Normal women don’t scheme as much as you. You can make a lot? Like what?”
“Mr. Genovese, you must know every normal woman is actually a schemer. I’ll have you know, every normal woman likes to conduct shit tests to test how faithful their lovers are. I can make a pretty good cup ramen.”
Cough. Cough. Cough.
I actually choked on my own saliva there.
“Cup ramen?! Uh, boss… you really are a CEO of a company, right?”
“Yes, it is quite the legendary commoner food. It is so cheap, yet it contains countless mysteries of the universe, Mr. Genovese. You should not underestimate the power of such high class commoner food.”
If it wasn’t for her calling it commoner food, I might actually confuse her for a god tier budget waifu character from an anime.
This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.
“By any chance, you aren’t actually the type to fill the trope of pretty rich girl who’s cooking is awful, are you?”
“Of course not. My cooking will blow you away. My cooking capabilities are on the level of gods. Even the gods look at my cooking and can only fall to their knees in worship at how good it is.”
“Oh really? Then aside from cup ramen what else can you cook?”
“How about this, I’ll surprise you.”
“Uh... I think I should really leave now. I haven’t been to my apartment in quite a while and I’m feeling a bit homesick.”
“Just sit your ass down on the couch and stop trying to make excuses to escape.”
“The last time I did that, didn’t I get sleeping pills in my drink?”
“There were none in the end, so what are you talking about?”
“Can you prove there were none?”
“Yeah I can.”
“How?”
“I recorded the entire process of making it knowing you’d be skeptical and wouldn’t believe me when you woke up.”
“You really recorded it?”
“Yeah, I did. What, you don’t believe me? I can show you if you’d like.”
“... no... it’s fine. With your meticulous nature in recording my poor work ethics I could totally see you doing it.”
I obediently took a seat back on the couch and flipped through the channels to pass the time. I expected she’d probably take a fair amount of time to finish cooking, but five minutes later she walked over with a cup in hand. When I say cup, I don’t mean a cup that held a drink.
“This is what you cooked?”
“Of course. It’s another classic god tier staple food among common folk that is to die for.”
“You mean… mac and cheese?”
“Of course, Mr. Genovese. Don’t you dare underestimate this staple food with a history as deep as the ocean.”
I won’t hate on it or anything considering I do like it, but… for a rich CEO to be treating their guest to this… am I being looked down on?
“I’m not looking down on you. I just legitimately like it and wanted you to try my mac and cheese, Mr. Genovese.”
“Ah, sorry. You’re right, just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you can’t like it.”
Well, it’s just mac and cheese that anyone can make. It’s not like there is any way she could mess up when cooking this, right?
I picked up the fork and took my first bite and nearly fainted from shock. I couldn’t refrain from opening my eyes wide to ask, “what did you put in this?”
“Sorry, but that’s a trade secret that I can only tell my future husband.”
“Why does it taste so good?! Did you slip addictive drugs into this or something?”
“Haha. Of course not. It’s purely thanks to a few special ingredients I added to it. I went around to a lot of different restaurants collecting data on the best mac and cheese recipes in the country all so I could create this masterpiece out of a cheap commoners food.”
“This can hardly be called commoners food. You aren’t going to tell me you put something ridiculous like love into this cooking, are you? I really hope it’s not your hair or dead skin or anything disgusting like that.”
“How rude. I’m not one of your psychotic exes.”
“Haha. Sorry. There were times with Adele where her cooking tasted too good to be true. It was to the point I couldn’t believe she made it. I only found out much later on what was actually in it. Rat meat, ground up cockroach shells, pig testicles, her hair, dead skin, all sorts of weird crap went into some of the things she made for me. Back then, she just said she put her love into it and I just blindly believed her. It was only after it was revealed to me that she was completely insane that I discovered the things she’d actually used as ingredients whenever she cooked for me. Those experiences made me skeptical of anything cooked by women that tasted too good to be true. To this date, just thinking about it still leaves my stomach churning.”