Evening had come to the mountains and as the sun set the temperature dropped rapidly. Soon the cold of the autumn darkness enveloped the forest village of Doovlin. Here in the alpine forests the chilled air was only further cooled by the winds that came through from high above the mountain peaks. Thus the people living here were always prepared with firewood and furs, for without such things they would surely perish.

Such terrible living conditions didn't affect a goddess like me however. While I felt the temperature around me it didn't do anything to my body unless I explicitly allowed it to. It certainly was weird sometimes and it made me wonder if I could swim in lava or something crazy like that. I wasn't here in Doovlin to experience the mountain air though. I was here to talk to Miya's parents.

This time of year with the light fading so quickly it was easy to spot me from far away. My hair always glowed faintly unless I was very active in controlling it. If people didn't know who I was I'd probably be the source of those ancient alien stories. I mean who wouldn't think some otherworldly being was visiting them when a glowing little girl walks up to their house? Well... I am an otherworldly being I guess.

Putting these thoughts aside I stepped up to the front door of the Deuiden house. It was a small place, probably only forty by forty feet in total. The door was made of sturdy pine like many things around here were and didn't even have a knocker of any kind. As the darkness fell all around the only light for the area came from the torch that was still alight next to the door. It was likely kept burning in case someone had to leave and do something in the middle of night.

What was I doing here again? Coming to get therapy from Miya's parents? Even the idea of it seemed silly. I'm a goddess! I'm supposed to be giving other people therapy! No no. That way of thinking is how I ended up in this mess in the first place. For this entire time I've been putting my own mental health by the wayside in favor of helping others. Even a goddess needs help sometimes. No one else can be perfect like my father after all.

With a deep breath I reached out and knocked on the wooden door. The sound echoed out into the night and was louder than I expected it to be. It almost sounded like some big man pounding on the wood and probably startled the people inside. I could hear people moving around inside immediately and footsteps approaching the other side of the door.

A slow creak came from the door as it slowly opened. There in the crack the face of Miya's father Duncan appeared, his long beard and short brown hair ruffling in the wind. He looked like he had some kind of weapon behind his back and with a simple look with goddess vision I could see a large knife in his hand. I couldn't blame him. Who knows what kind of person would be on the other side of the door in the darkness after a banging like that.

I smiled sheepishly and lifted my left hand to wave up at him.

"Hello."

His eyes looked down and he jumped in surprise. The goddess was probably the last person he expected to see standing at his doorstep at night.

"G-Goddess?" he exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

The door opened wider and the firelight from within spread out into the wider world like spilling wine into the night. It was clearly warmer inside as well as the cold wind mixed with the heat inside the house. Duncan stepped into the doorway fully and lowered the knife from behind his back. He looked at it and blushed, quickly moving it next to his leg.

"Oh sorry. This is nothing."

I just looked at it and then up to his face again.

"I don't blame you" I replied shrugging. "Don't worry about it."

At this point the disturbance at the door had attracted the attention of others. Soon the little brother Tromly appeared behind his father, a look of curiosity on his face. He looked older than I'd seen him last. Well I mean a year had past making him like nine now. His little eyes were blue like his father's and his hair was short and brown.

"Who is it father?" he asked. Then when seeing me he got excited. "It's the goddess!"

The little boy walked up next to his father and almost squeezed past him to get to me. At this point even this little boy was almost taller than me, at least in human form. He was a good kid too.

A female voice called from deeper inside the small house.

"The goddess is here?"

It was Miya's mother Elentra. She too appeared behind her husband and stared down at me in the doorway in surprise. She had a dark apron on that was neatly tied around her waist. Always the homemaker she was, something she did and should take pride in.

Duncan stepped back from the door which forced the others to step back as well.

"Yes its the goddess! Don't crowd her now." He then looked down at me. "So goddess. Why are you here?"

Now that I was standing here with all of them looking at me it was getting pretty embarrassing. My face was actually starting to flush and I swung my arms back and forth absentmindedly. I also kept myself from making eye contact, my gaze wandering around anywhere but their faces.

"Oh you know..." I started. "Just sort of wanted to talk I guess."

Elentra was clearly more in tune with the body language of others, perhaps due to her womanliness, and she grabbed her husband by the shoulders.

"Well don't just leave her standing there!" She exclaimed. "Invite her inside!"

This shook Duncan out of his shock and he stepped back away from the door.

"O-Of course! Please come in goddess. Sorry."

This kind of reaction would normally be insulting to a literal goddess but these people were the closest thing I had to friends in this world. The people of Doovlin had a special relationship with me as whole, being the first people to welcome to this world and worship me as their own deity. They understood their part in this and most of them didn't feel strange acting like I was just another person, though of course they were still respectful of my position.

I walked into their house without ceremony and looked around. It was a simple house like most were out here in the sticks. The entire interior was just a single large room with another smaller room sectioned off in one of the corners. There was a simple kitchen and table arranged with several chairs on one side that served as the main living area. Then the large fireplace stood with a large pile of wood that heated the house, a stone chimney leading up and through the roof.

Tromly smiled at me and even blushed a little. He was after all around the same age I appeared to be and likely had a measure of attraction to this form. It's not something he would act on of course but it was still there subconsciously.

"It's been a while goddess!" he said smiling shyly. "Its good to see you again!"

I nodded back to him and smiled.

"Yeah. Sorry about that." I rubbed my right arm with my other hand. "Being a goddess is a full time job."

Behind me Duncan closed the door again to keep the cold air from rushing in. Now the sound of the wind was muffled by the walls of the house. The fire crackled in the fireplace and the smell of leftover cooking permeated the space.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Duncan asked looking confused. He then gestured to the chairs. "Come sit down."

I followed him over to the little dining area and sat myself down on one of the chairs. I'm sure it looked as awkward as it felt, just a little girl sitting there who was really an all powerful goddess. I was trying to appear as normal as possible but this whole situation made me fidget.

It seemed Elentra had caught on that something was wrong and walked over to her son. She pushed on his back and started moving him towards the bedroom.

"Now you go off to the bed dear." She said gently. "It's late and you need sleep. Your father and I will join you as soon as we're done talking with the goddess."

Tromly whined but didn't protest.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Aww... Fine mother..."

He then gave one last look over at me and then waved again.

"See you later goddess."

I waved back at him and watched as she disappeared into the bedroom. The door was then closed behind him by his mother, though we all knew he would try to listen in on the conversation.

With this task done Elentra walked over to the table and sat down next to where her husband was standing. He joined her in sitting shortly after. She then turned to me and put her hands on her lap, a gentle expression on her face.

"So what seems to be the problem Goddess Jenna?" She asked softly. "We've known you long enough to know when something's wrong."

I was fidgeting with my hands under the table, my eyes still not making eye contact with either of the adults sitting in front of me. Eventually I stopped and sat up straight, looking first from one and then to the other. My voice almost cracked as I spoke and I was trying very hard to keep the blushing to a minimum.

"Well um..." I started. "I just was wondering how I was doing. You know as a goddess?"

Both of them looked at each other and then back at me. Duncan was first to speak, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Well from what I've seen you've been a great goddess. You've saved entire villages and towns from what I've heard, plus you're very benevolent. Sure your methods are different than expected, but you've kept the kingdom from falling into chaos. That could have easily happened after your appearance was made public."

His practical answer matched his personality. He would say it how it was regardless of what others thought. It was his wife's turn to speak next though.

"I also think you've been a wonderful goddess" Elentra said smiling. "Everyone loves you and you're always looking out for us. From the first day you came to our village you've been protecting us and caring for us. I'm sure you do the same for the rest of your worshipers as well."

This was when I looked down, my face darkened by the shame I felt. If I really admit how violent I've been will they look at me differently? Even fear me? My most loyal worshipers might just turn around and start hating me. This is what I feared most as I clenched my fists in my lap.

Elentra leaned forward and reached out her hand to touch my leg.

"What's wrong goddess? Tell us."

As I sat there staring at my lap a tear formed in my right eye. It slid down my cheek as my face became quite red. Then another tear came out of my eye until there were several all at once. I sniffled but kept myself from fully crying. There was no backing out of this now, I'd made my choice by coming here.

"But I've killed people." I said struggling to hold back my tears. "Lots of people. Like probably a hundred by now."

When the two of them heard this there was certainly a large degree of shock in their expressions. Duncan sat back and dropped his arms to his sides, seeming to be thinking this news over thoroughly. Elentra also looked like she was thinking it over deeply, though her hand never left my lap. Eventually it was she that spoke.

"Well it seems to be upsetting for you" Elentra said softly. "Do you want to tell us about it?"

I then began describing the events in which I had killed humans. First with the initial event with the cult, the people who had so cruelly murdered Miya and the resulting mindless rampage I had gone on. Then I went over the mansion and the horrible acts being done to children by the people living there. How I had let Sub-chan take over again and everyone inside had died in a terrible inferno, save for the children of course. Then at last I told them about the recent mage, the woman who had boasted of her power and killed townsfolk in cold blood with painful magic. How I had snuffed her out with the same sadistic energy she had so used against others.

"And I just incinerated her. Just like that! In the middle of the town." I finished.

My gaze was down on the table and I had never felt more ashamed. Surely they would reject me now, disown me as their goddess and turn me away from Doovlin forever. I sat there in silence as they processed all I had told them, my nightmares crawling up inside me and filling me with fear for the worst case scenario.

The reaction I got was different than I had expected however. For although they took a good minute or so to think about it, their response at the end shocked me to my core.

Elentra lifted her hand up off my lap and took my right hand, lifting it up onto the table as she looked at me with a faint smile. Her expression was one that seemed filled with pain.

Duncan too reached out his hand and placed it on top of mine alongside his wife's. His face was more stern looking, but that kindness was still visible in his eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that" Elentra said softly.

Duncan nodded in agreement. "You've carried a burden no one should have to, not even a goddess."

Because I was still confused and shaken by the whole experience I wasn't quite sure how to react to this showing of kindness. My other hand lifted up to my face and wiped my years away, my nose sniffling as I tried to calm myself down. My face had also begun to return its normal pale complexion.

"Y-You don't hate me?" I asked softly.

"Of course we don't!" Elentra replied. "You're still our goddess!"

Duncan then removed his hand and put it with his other on the table in front of him. He had a serious look on his face but it didn't have a hint of anger in it.

"While its surprising to hear about you killing I can't deny you were justified in those instances." He then looked at his wife before back at me. "Those people all committed heinous acts and its not strange for a ruler to have to execute others, much less for a goddess."

Elentra nodded and held my hand tighter.

"That's right. Executions are needed to remove evil people from society. You're not evil yourself for doing these things."

I put my free hand down in my lap and raised my voice somewhat. The emotional distress was evident in my voice.

"I don't want to be like other goddesses!" I then lowered my voice and looked down again. "I don't want to kill. I want to be a good ruler..."

Duncan was the one to smile at me this time, his confidence in is words palpable.

"You are a good ruler, and its noble not to want to kill. But having to kill your enemy or evil humans is necessary. If killing is something you dislike so much how do you plan to avoid it?"

I sighed and pulled my hand away from Elentra's, placing it on my lap with my other one. My gaze was still down on the table but I had calmed down completely now. As I spoke my voice also had returned to normal.

"I dunno." I said softly. "I know it has to happen sometimes." I then looked up at the two of them. "When do you think its necessary?"

Duncan crossed his arms over his chest again, his face now frowning from thoughtfulness.

"Well in cases like that mage woman, where the threat is imminent, it makes sense to kill. Perhaps she could have been turned over to the courts but her sentence would have been death regardless."

Elentra nodded and looked at her husband with a more serious expression now as well.

"Yes I agree." She then turned to me with a lighter expression. "Perhaps you only need to kill in situations of extreme danger? Then in all other times you can just capture them and turn them over to the courts?"

I furrowed my brow and crossed my arms across my stomach, my eyes serious as I looked down at the table again. That did seem like a viable solution to the problem. I mean if someone's running around just killing others they need to be dealt with. Kind of like an active gunman being taken down by the police from the world I came from. Removing the immediate threat takes priority.

For people that aren't actively murdering others, well they could easily be disabled by someone of my power level. Just capturing someone is easy enough, as if proving their crimes in court since I can read minds. With these new rules it would seem I made the correct choice with the mage but overreacted to the mansion innocent. The thing with the cult was unavoidable though, I wasn't even in control then. It couldn't be helped.

After thinking this all over, a process that took almost half a minute, I let out a long sigh of relief. My shoulders loosened and my entire body visibly relaxed. The two with me seemed to relax as well as they saw me do it. I then looked up to the two of them, a genuine smile on my face now. The bright complexion had returned and the faint light radiated from my skin as if my face was shining.

"Well..." I said with a pause. "I feel much better now. That approach seems perfect for me. Thank you so much for talking to me you two."

Both of them seemed to brighten up as well, my rising joy infectious as the very room seemed more full of light now. Each of them reached out one hand and they smiled as I took each of them.

"I'm so happy to hear that goddess!" Elentra said grinning. "I think you did a very brave thing, telling us all this."

Duncan nodded in solemn agreement.

"Indeed. Its truly an honor to be among the people you trust so deeply. I can't say we deserve it as mere humans, but we're not capable of understanding the mind of a goddess."

This made me laugh, the chiming crystal sound bouncing around the small building. The atmosphere was much happier now and I was overjoyed now that this was over. Perhaps this was a trial set before me by my father or simply the universe myself. It was so reassuring to know that despite being a goddess above it all there were still times I'm allowed to be vulnerable.

"You two certainly do a good job of it though!" I said grinning. "Its such a relief not to be perfect around you! Everyone always expects me to be perfect because I'm a goddess and it's exhausting!"

Elentra let out a small laugh herself and squeezed my hand in hers.

"I can't imagine goddess! Don't worry though, you'll always have a place to be yourself and feel safe here. I know that the rest of us in Doovlin would say the same."

After taking another long sigh I pulled my hands back and stood up from the chair.

"I'm sure they would! And be serious about it too!"

Duncan looked at me concerned for a moment.

"Do you need to go somewhere?"

Elentra chimed in after he was finished speaking.

"You're free to spend the night here goddess."

I shrugged and gave them each a sort of defeated look.

"I've got lots of responsibilities now. Besides it wouldn't be becoming of a goddess to stay here for the night. No offense. Thank you for the offer though."

Duncan stood up now and walked around the table in order to follow me to the door.

"No offense taken! You are the goddess of an entire kingdom now after all."

As the two of us walked over to the door Elentra stood up as well and waved to me lovingly.

"Thank you for stopping by and talking with us. I hope you and Miya stay safe out there."

I looked over my shoulder as I arrived at the door.

"Don't worry Miss Deuiden. Hopefully you'll see her again in person again soon!"

With the door opened by Duncan the cold darkness of the night once again presented itself before me. We all said our final goodbyes and good nights before I stepped out of their house. The warm light of the indoors transitioned into the chilly all encompassing night. This time however it was not despair that filled my heart, but instead the shining hope from deep within my soul.

The oppressions of this world would come for me again without doubt, the trials and tribulations I had faced up to now surely paling in comparison to what still lay ahead. I however would face them with newfound hope. Surely I would have to kill again, but now I had a firm creed to follow and the determination to follow through on it.

Now feeling like a new goddess once again I strode off into the darkness of the night with newfound confidence in my steps. Just to prove a point to this world I'd go off into the mountains and sleep in the wilderness under the stars. I'll rest in the open, exposed to all the opponents who would dare come my way. Light and Knowledge are my domains and I'll see them spread across the entire earth.