Izo was floating amidst the ebbs and flows of this space with no worries. Or less worries as he barely manages to find calm amidst this infinite sea of “omnimatter”.
It was the only word fitting for such perfection. If spirituality/mana was a paint then it could only be watercolor. Useful and works in some types of arts but doesn’t have enough vibrancy to create the most detailed Baroque art.
There should an even higher form of energy above it but even that would be the highest quality oil paint. Can be diluted and have more potential for expression but ultimately for oil paint.
This omnimatter, unconstrained by the failure of our biology, can create any art whether sculpture or drawing, more exactly not only 3d but 4d then all the dimensions after it. An art beyond comprehension and eclipsing all sense of beauty that we could only die after realizing that life after its viewing was only downhill from there.
Izo had regained most of his faculties but just like the period before his coma, it felt like he only had 5 hours of sleep after an intense workout the day before. It seems he would just have to accept that he will never feel fully rested.
He could now also see his soul body in its damaged state. 30% of it was simply gone like an apple that had been bitten. Izo could only pray that it wasn’t an important part of himself otherwise he wouldn’t even know what to do if he completely changes as a person or lose memories from this loss. His life wasn’t the best, his upbringing awful but still he was ok with it. If God made him choose what life he would like to live next, Izo would answer the same as he was now with a few changes.
‘God huh?’
If the everchanging creature that he saw earlier was God, he would be upset. Likewise if the glowing mass that was unthinking was God, he would even be more upset.
This would mean that all the humans or other beings that died in suffering would return to this place, to nothingness, without getting the paradise that they hoped for and deserved.
‘Taking it further. If this is the end point, wouldn’t it mean all those who committed heinous crimes would not be punished in the end?’
This enraged Izo. He knew countless people on Earth who lived life without consequence even until death. Millions of people wished for retribution in the after life but instead they get to be treated the same as those who lived all their life in suffering and good.
‘Crap.’
He lost concentration for a while thus he lost ground and almost got sucked to the conversion boundary.
‘For now, I’ll have to find a way to get away from the pull.’
Izo was in a stalemate, feeling like this was purgatory. He wasn’t the only one who was stuck in this limbo as a few hundred were doing there best like he was. These were the few that didn’t propel themselves away too early thus losing consciousness and not regaining it in the “safe” zone.
Some of these souls were here before Izo. How could he differentiate them? They were easy to spot since they were less energetic than the newcomers. They also tended to simply stop moving and allow themselves to disappear in the mass.
He himself had stopped propelling himself continuously since he wasn’t insane enough to keep doing something that’s obviously not working. And it hasn’t worked for all those souls before either.
Instead, he was thinking of anything to break the stalemate. An outside force that would change the equation.
‘Only that thing it seems.’
Izo couldn’t tell the passing of time but he knew that the beast appeared regularly to do something to the individual souls. It would get close then in time their light would dim until such a point the souls’ brightness were next to nothing then it would change targets. Its intentions were unclear but it seemed it can’t fully “kill” the souls.
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He had tried to come up with ways to use it but even comprehending its form was painful. Yes, it was somehow painful despite him not feeling any bodily sensations anymore.
The last time he observed it, in what seemed like seconds, Izo lost 20% of his glimmer. Not even a minute and he lose consciousness.
‘Is that thing the only way?’
He was of course reluctant since he wasn’t a masochist who enjoyed pain. The times he got hurt in camp was awful and left him gasping for air like a housewife giving birth.
‘If I want to escape here however.’
Izo had a faint feeling that if he could only return to the void beyond, there was a chance he could get back to his body. Izo wondered if his body was still alive then banished the thought. If he fails in the end, he would fail after trying.
The next time that the being appeared, he began observing and immediately he felt pain. The same as a needle pricking one’s finger without anesthesia, enough for a man to back away in pain just to avoid the thin metal from hurting the nerves.
Unfortunately, the pain wasn’t a prick on one’s skin but on one’s eyes. It took ten seconds for Izo to hate himself for trying this stunt.
‘There must be another way. No, I won’t do this thing again.’
He would rather eat feces than experience it again.
And so he decided, letting the being disappear once more.
Maybe an hour or a day passed where he simply alternated between lazy swimming and pushing himself to escape the pull.
Nothing changed at all for him or the other souls. None of them suddenly acted weirdly then found a secret method to escape their predicament that Izo dearly wished would happen.
Izo had observed them and they too should have done the same to him. So, he saw them try to stare at the being just like him but also quit in futility.
‘If only I could talk to them, maybe they have ideas.’
If they were in prison, the beginning of a successful escape would start with a meeting. A covenant of the bright minds among the incarcerated.
Unfortunately, the jailors this time were smart and instead of stupidly bunching them up then letting the obviously clever inmates formulate a plan, they instead separated them far apart. They couldn’t hear each other and could only see the hopeless forms of their fellow inmates from distance. This was their state.
After taking time to wait things out, he finally had enough. Izo could only think of one thing to even change the monotony. It was just what would subjecting himself to the pain do? Would he suddenly gain power? Would it go towards him and grab him away for some reason?
‘I guess damn me then.’
He stared at the being that was hovering over the newcomer souls.
Izo lasted 12 seconds and felt a massive loss in thinking ability but thankfully he stopped before he lost consciousness.
‘Ok. What did it do?’
The nourishment of the safe zone returned him to 70% and back to cruising safely a distance from the boundary.
‘Nothing happened?’
By all means no change happened to him. Cursing himself, he once more stared to gather more sample size.
The next try lasted 6 seconds. The following after that 3.
‘It hurts. It fucking hurts.’
If he was in his body, Izo would be in a fetal position just shaking.
‘No, I can’t anymore but- one last try. Last try.’
He managed to convince himself to gaze one more time when the steady pricking of a tribal tattoo artist suddenly sped up. The needle was now mounted on a sewing machine and it machine gun pierced through his skin. He felt like pockmarks of small bleeding holes were etched into him.
It only stopped when Izo closed his eyes. By then he was reeling and couldn’t summon any thoughts. What he felt though was the being staring at him and sending an emotion just like a soul’s screams.
‘Suffer. Cry. Suffer.’
The duration lasted 3 seconds but Izo lost most of his brightness and was dangerously close to becoming an inert cluster of light.
Even when he recovered, he was still shivering in pain. He made himself small and just like an afraid deer was immobile. Whatever instinct he had as a human was telling him to surrender and die to the inevitable.
Izo only regained his sense when the being changed its focus to a different soul.
Maybe souls weren’t capable of it but he felt like crying. Real or not, he felt hot tears flow between his nose.
Whenever a movie was playing and one of the characters was being tortured. He would always find them pathetic especially when they finally betray their friends. Izo always felt that if it was the fate of his loved ones or the safety of a large group of people, he would never crack just like that.
Only now did he truly know how much mutilation hurts.
It was enough that he was considering just to simply let himself float away like a boat on a large river. To simply let himself sink to the quiet beneath the waves.
With little strength and capacity to think he was trending towards the action and it took Izo’s all just not do something he would regret. He managed to remain in the safe zone. A remarkable feat amidst the overpowering pain.
‘I feel slightly better.’
The size of his soul has increased it seems and he shone slightly brighter.