It was evening when the adventurers finally stopped in a small valley completely devoid of Fluffies. The trees were only saplings here, though the moss was very abundant and made the perfect cushion for the weary travelers to rest their behinds.
“Nice change I must say.” Mrs. Strawberry took a happy little sigh “No bones or red roots growing here.”
“That’s a good point,” Descendre thoughtfully looked around the vegetation, she stretched sleepily, smacked her lips, and started scratching her neck with her back leg. As she removed the irritating itch she rumbled out “I don’t think there is a single root here.”
Onion perked up at this statement and without a word dropped beneath the earth. A few minutes later he returned with an excited smile “You’re right. No roots anywhere near this valley.” His leaves expanded around him; absorbing the scents and sounds. “Wonder what is causing the lack of Fluffy influence. This is the second location devoid of them.”
Eli was rolling around on the moss happily woofing and uninterested in conversation around him. He abruptly rolled up to his feet and made a little hop in the air with a ruff to get their attention. When they looked the Frozen Death dropped into the universal play pose and launched himself onto one of Onion’s roots. The Silken dropped into the same playful pose and the two of them started rushing around the area in a game of chase.
Mrs. Strawberry watched the two scampering about; she kept her voice low to avoid distracting the two cavorting about. “What is the plan to kill the Colligere?”
“We were planning on sneaking up on her while she slept and removing her head” Devourer removed his familiar jacket and waistcoat. He pulled on the black pinstripe waistcoat and did up the silver buttons. The pinstripes were red as blood and shimmered in the light of the setting sun. He pulled on the black jacket made of the same Tattered fabric. As he did up the buttons, shadows drew up around him for a moment. He made a pleased little hum and started brushing off the fabric with a brush. He noticed the cook waiting expectantly. “Sorry, just trying out the new threads and the Tattered magic wrapped within them…What was the question?”
“What is the plan to kill the Colligere?” She repeated patiently.
Devourer adjusted his jacket at the cuffs, “Just kill her, not a lot of a plan. Why?”
Mrs. Strawberry adjusted the Auris’s collar as she answered, “Wasn’t sure if we had a magical item that would help us kill her, she didn’t exactly sound like a pushover. Otherwise, someone else would have dealt with her, correct?”
“Correct.” Gus answered as he threw down his cottage mushrooms. He watched as they grew and formed into the cottage for the night “Nobody’s beaten a Colligere before, we have no clue what works on them.”
“We know what doesn’t work on them.” Devourer added. “Long range magical attacks are ineffectual, also traps, traps don’t work.”
Mrs. Strawberry looked the group over, she attempted to hide the concern and chastisement from her voice as she interpreted what they had said “We are going into a fight with no strategy or contingency plan.”
“We do have a contingency.” Devourer doffed his newly acquired top hat with a conspiratorial wink “We aren’t fools running into battles without an exit strategy.”
Mrs. Strawberry snagged his top hat and placed it on her head, winking back at him, she started unpacking food stores to prepare the evening meal as she said, “I will be keeping your hat until I hear this strategy.”
Descendre snagged the hat with her tail and placed it jauntily on her head, her ears pressed down under the hat in a comical manner, “Well, that’s why we practice, to create battle formations and strategies.” She tossed the hat into the air and swiveled her head to land it back atop her head. “Take the Fluffy battle. We are the smallest party to ever survive a Fluffy massacre.”
“She’s right.” Gus noted. “We are the first to ever kill a Fluffy and left the body fully intact. All other Fluffies were killed by massive magical attacks that left nothing but smoking craters and a charred, smoldering husk.”
“Which is a horrible way to learn about the weaknesses of the things.” Onion chimed in from his place on the ground. Eli had him pinned down and was licking his face.
The Derkaz tossed the hat again and this time missed catching it squarely on her head, she had to use her tail to seat it properly “And without a good way to find the weaknesses there is no way to efficiently defeat them. Scorched Earth magic is about as effective as using a hammer to crush a flea, lots of broken furniture and probably still didn’t kill it.”
Devourer made a grab for his hat “Don’t take my things!”
The cat rose to her hind legs, moving the tall adornment out of his reach “Keep trying, short stack.” She rotated her head to look at the granny “Let’s discuss our game plan to deal with the Colligere.”
Devourer started climbing the cat trying to get at his round iconic item “Like I said before; we slit her throat, everyone’s happy.”
Gus was reshaping the door and windows of the mushroom house with an artistic eye “It’ll be more complicated than that; Colligeres are rarely diverted in their objectives and if you want them to leave their den it takes an army or some heroes with overpowered magical item.”
“And even those don’t always work.” Onion added as he chopped onions beside Mrs. Strawberry.
Mrs. Strawberry slid her slices into a bowl “What is a Colligere exactly?”
There was a long pause, the cat finally answered “We forgot you’re not from around here. A Colligere is a multi-limbed creature that turns living beings into balls of energy and eats that energy.”
Mrs. Strawberry didn’t have anything to add so she simply said “Oh…” hoping it would encourage some actionable information.
“Colligere prefer to turn a populace into energy all at once.” The Auris provided “A Colligere will plant their Gnarled Tree in the middle of a city and turn everyone into energy at once. The Gnarled Tree draws all the energy in and holds them like little fruits to be plucked by the Colligere when its hungry.”
Eli trundled over to lay atop Mrs. Strawberry’s foot and started snoring happily.
Onion looked down at the dozing Frozen Death before further elaborating “As you would probably suspect the older a Colligere gets they stronger they get; the further their magic can reach. The one we’re fighting is ancient, she now collects entire nations at once. Once she captures her meal in her Gnarled Tree, she digs up the roots and retreats here to feed on it for several hundred years.” He noticed everyone’s questioning look “I gathered some info while we were in town and Devourer was getting his clothes made. Apparently this Colligere is only recently awake, the city has tales of when she wiped out this region a few hundred years ago.”
“We are dealing with a veteran?” Gus grumbled “That’s too bad, the younger ones are easier to scare away, give us a chance to get to the Gnarled Tree.”
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“Your nation was already turned into energy.” Mrs. Strawberry remarked to Devourer as she took a sniff of the food. She added a dash of salt then a few strips of the Chomper back to add a more umami flavor before asking. “How do we save them?”
“Cut down the Gnarled Tree.” Devourer answered the question as he finally retrieved his hat with a leaping flip that ended into a cartwheel in the moss. From his prone position on the ground, he continued his explanation “Energy changes back to living beings. This is going to be a very crowded cave once we fell that tree. Gargh” The last bit was the sound he made when Eli pounced onto him with a little woof. He spent the next several minutes attempting to keep the little blue cub from licking his face.
“There, finally got right.” Gus took a step back to survey his handiwork. The mushroom building had smoke stacks that corkscrewed up, high, high above the building, the mushroom was shaped to have the shape of bricks. “A new test in structural integrity.” He provided at the questioning looks of the other adventurers. He took a seat and started to absorb energy from the plants around him.
“After we cut down the tree and free everyone it’ll be a nightmare getting everyone back home.” Devourer lamented as he made the realization. “Where are we going to get all the boats?”
“One problem at a time.” Mrs. Strawberry ordered the Auris. She took a bowl of finely chopped leeks from Onion. “She can do this magic that turns entire civilizations to energy all at once. What’s to keep her from turning us into food before we land a blow?”
Onion started crushing some thin leafed herbs and the aroma wafted through the air. “That spell too much magic to waste on a small group like us.”
“She’ll just grab us and turn us into energy one at a time.” Gus imparted the information as plants started to twine around him. “Colligere enjoy tormenting their victims before turning them into energy.”
“Pleasant creature.” Mrs. Strawberry murmured.
“Tormenting their victims, huh, I think cats enjoy doing that too, right, Descendre?” Devourer quipped towards Derkaz. Eli was sleeping again, draped across the Auris’s arm, with his little muzzle resting on the three-eared gentleman’s chest.
The cat stuck her long forked tongue out in a childish retort. “Watch it, bucko. Or you’re next once the cub gets up.”
Eli raised an eye to glare a rebuke at the feline and fell back asleep.
“Weak points?” The granny inquired, trying to maintain the focus of the tired group. “How do we beat her?”
“Cave-in.” Gus suggested. More of the twining plants had curled around him. Making him resemble a long-forgotten statue covered in decades of wild shrubby “That’s how one army chased their Colligere menace off.”
“What about the Fluffies?” Devourer asked.
The Mottoy was now resembling a humanoid shrubbery “She would have already left if the Fluffies were going to chase her off. Also she has been traveling through them to get to her den this whole time.” He carefully moved a vine away from curling around his neck. “Other ideas people?”
“I could use my spectral hand magic.” The Silken contributed. “That would probably do some serious damage, and then Devourer can start cutting her with his blades.”
The Auris gave a thumbs up “I like this idea!”
The team started to get into the more complicated parts of battle planning, Mrs. Strawberry listened with half an ear while she prepared their meal. She tasted it; heavenly. She started putting food onto the plates, her companions were still discussing as they started to eat.
Onion took the first bite, he choked and coughed.
Devourer burst into laughter and had to put his spoon down to keep from making a mess on his new clothes.
Descendre took her first bite and froze with a look of horror.
The Auris finally got his food into his mouth, though he was still chuckling. His face scrunched in pain.
“Is something wrong?” Mrs. Strawberry asked, concerned a Chomper bone had been left in the stew.
The cat unfurled her tongue with a piece of meat wrapped within. She placed the piece of meat on her plate and slowly asked “What did you do diff—"
“-WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US!” Devourer howled, spitting out his food and using Descendre’s fur to wipe the flavor off his tongue.
The cat was not pleased “My fur is not your napkin.”
“I don’t understand, it’s Chomper meat, mixed with normal vegetables.” The cook lifted her food and took a tentative bite, it tasted like cod liver oil, over ripe bananas, anchovies, Hawaiian pizza and liver had all been placed in a blender and then pureed, then set to ferment for three days. She spat out her food. “That tastes like it spoiled.
“It is unpleasant.” The Derkaz admitted. “Maybe a spice gone bad?”
“No.” The Auris disagreed. “This is something else; this is dark and evil abomination that would slay nations.” Devourer gave the cook a suspicious glower “Did you get cursed while we weren’t looking?”
Mrs. Strawberry swished water and spat it out, trying to clean her palate of the foul flavors. “No.”
“Wait…” The Auris paused, his eyes widening as if he had discovered the key clue in a murder. “Did you start swearing and using crude gestures?!”
The cook crossed her arms “So what if I did, all of you do it.”
“But you’re the cook.” Devourer howled, pointing at the food as if it was evidence in trial. “There is a whole taboo that says cooks can’t do that, or this stuff happens!!!”
Descendre scratched her head with her tail as she pondered the tongue torturing concoction “It is odd, I’ve never seen such a bad case of horrible cooking.”
“Agreed.” Onion asserted. “And I’ve had Devourer’s cooking.”
“My cooking isn’t bad.” The Auris defended.
“More salt is not the answer for everything!” The cat snapped back; she was clearly unsettled by the various loathsome levels of the devastating dish still battling across her tastebuds, battling to discover which horrible flavor would rule supreme within her oral cavity. She started attempting to scrape the flavors off using a jagged boulder.
Gus was relaxing in the cool section of the trees and as relaxed as one could be, “What did you do different?”
“Same thing.” The granny answered. “Cut everything with this knife.” She held up her normal knife. “Put the ingredients in this cauldron.” She pointed at the old dented cooking pot. “Stirred with this spoon.” She held up her old wooden spoon. “Then served with this spoon.” She held up the new spoon she had obtained from the treasury. The spoon flared with a reddish light when she waved it.
Everyone took an audible gasp.
“Where did you get that?” Descendre asked taking a step back, afraid of what new travesties of the tongue the spoon might unleash. Her fur turned a dark blue and her tail swished back and forth in agitation.
Mrs. Strawberry inspected the ladling spoon, “From a treasure trove of the Tattered Siblings.”
“That is definitely magic.” Onion took a curious step forward, licked his lips and stayed back. “Don’t wave it around, I have no clue what it does, but I don’t want to be turned into a cabbage for the rest of my days!”
The cook held it still and the Silken inspected it with extreme care.
Once he finished throwing various magics at it he provided his results. “Not to worry, it won’t do anything to us. Appears it only works on food. Though it does appear to make our food cursed.”
“I actually have a thought.” Mrs. Strawberry countered. She had started to sort through the various flavors still clawing at her tongue and a revelation had occurred. “This spoon is aging things.”
“Aging?” Devourer was stunned.
“It ages food.” She turned the ladle clockwise and kept stirring, as she did the food did indeed age, until it actually turned to dust within the cauldron.
Gus had extricated himself from the various plants to inspect the discovery. “First rotation ages the good by a second, each full rotation compounds the aging. So, turn it a hundred times and whatever is in there is a thousand years old. Or in this case dust.”
“We could make some really amazing sauces.” Devourer added with wonder in his words. “Or even make that stuff I ruined back at that one city, the stuff that takes three hundred years.”
Descendre’s eyes narrowed “You keep calling it stuff, as if it was something you bought from a street vendor.”
“But now we don’t have to wait three-hundred years.” The Auris pointed out, rushing to distract the cat from her focused aggression. He gestured at the spoon that a moment ago he had been despising. “We could have it now!”
The feline stopped as the idea snuck into her brain. “Oh.”
“Yes?” Devourer nudged.
The Derkaz smiled brightly “You’re right. What a wonderful ladle.”
“Right.” Gus took lead on the conversation. “While this is all very exciting we still need to get some shut eye.”
As the adventurers climbed into their various beds, nooks and floor they talked about the various wonderful things they could age and create with this new found item.
-
It was morning, with the first rays of sunlight peeking through the windows. The necklace loudly announced “It’s Saturday, you have one day left to complete your quest, if not I will be taking her back without a second word.”
Devourer threw his pillow at the jacket with practiced precision and sent it (and the rock) tumbling to the ground. “Shaddup.” He growled.
The morning meal was pleasant and unaged. As the group started to break down camp the cook and Onion worked together to gather samples of dirt and flora. With her decades of being a forest ranger she knew what types of things they would want to take for further analysis. They jotted down notes and added observations. When asked they explained it was to find if there was a reason why the Fluffies were avoiding the area. Once everything was ready they headed towards the den of the Colligere.