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Mr. Mom
058 Return to Sender: Weaponized Organization

058 Return to Sender: Weaponized Organization

Adam was sorting through his status again. He hadn’t spent a lot of time working with it, but he was already getting tired of the somewhat tiresome repetition of the different sections. Did he really need three pages to give him a basic break down? And he didn’t really need to see the description of his class every time. The more he looked it open, the more he felt that one particular drawer shuffle around. It grew as the amount that was stored in it was increased, and then each new idea he had was sorted and placed with similar ideas. He wasn’t quite yet ready to start working on changing the layout of the Sky Tome, but he was at least starting to think of ideas for it.

One such idea that he was really interested in figuring out how to implement was a page that just told him the things that had changed since the last time he had been looking through his Sky Tome. Searching through all of his different tabs to see if anything he didn’t remember had suddenly appeared wasn’t going to work forever. Thankfully Organization seemed to take extensive notes for him about the things that he saw and thought, so he shouldn’t have any trouble figuring out which ones were new.

The first thing he went looking for was the update on his tool based weaponry skills. Knives (Cooking) was where he had left it, but it had a couple of other things that had joined it now. Cleavers (Cooking) and Staves (Cleaning). As eager as he was to see his new Staves skill, he started with Cleavers.

Cleavers (Cooking): Cleavers were actually created from observation of the effectiveness of orc weapons of the same shape. A man who lost one arm to an orc’s chopper was impressed by the practicality of a weapon that could shear through bone without shattering it. His refined design was adopted by cooks the world over in later years. Now you too can cleave through bone with no snags, breaks, or resistance. Bonus to dismemberment, severing, and bleeding. Skilled attacks recreate the effects of that original (Chopper).

Chopper: Bone (and bone like material) of any kind serves no impediment to a Chopper. May require increased strength to get through tougher bones. Massive increase to dismemberment, severing, and cleaving depth. Ignores a certain portion of natural armor. Increases weight of Cleavers while in use.

Having read through the description several times Adam still couldn’t decide between pleased or pissed. On the one hand, cleavers were great, no matter how they were invented. On the other hand, where the hell was a cleaver when he really needed one? The fights with the troll, slavers, and every single other thing he had fought would have been so much easier with a cleaver. He promised himself that he would never go anywhere without a cleaver anymore. He was also intensely curious what a real Chopper would look like. After all, orcs were much larger than humans, and if he could use it as a weapon, then it might substitute for a two handed weapon. Food for thought.

Laughing at the cooking pun he made to himself, Adam moved on to the next item in the same list.

Staves (Cleaning): Every drudge, maid, janitor, cleaner, caretaker, stable boy, and gardener has dreamt of being a mage. Before they had children so did many Mothers. And now with their favorite tools at hand you can be. Each tool has its own elemental affinity that you can bring forth. Wield the elements like you were born to them. Some practice required.

Stick it to the Man: Every mage needs a spell focus, and yours are always at hand. Increased spell efficiency and efficacy. Can imbue elemental type of the tool used into spells cast using it as a focus.

Much of the tool effect was what he had expected, but the bonus skill was more than he thought possible. He had thought that the skill may be what he would need to activate to actually turn his little breaths of wind into gusts and gales of devastatingly, deadly destruction. The descriptions all said otherwise. If he was reading it correctly, all he needed to be able to throw a wind blade that could actually hurt something was practice. Likely a lot of practice, but he had time.

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The smile continued to grow on as his face as he thought it over. He’d often dreamt of becoming a great mage like Izi, and now he had some hope of that. He didn’t think that Mother would lead to an actual mage path, but he could at least do a bit of a discount elementalist. Combined with Mama Bear, he could be a bit of a holy terror on the battlefield. Throw elemental attacks at people until his mana ran low or someone got too close, and then transform and crush what was left. After a short time, the dream faded. He didn’t think that would be happening, the duke wouldn’t be sending him to an actual battlefield, and having actually fought both people and monsters Adam no longer saw the glory or war.

Sighing, he flipped Sky Tome some more until he found the next skill he had unlocked. He was surprised that one of them was in Protection. He hadn’t spent much time in his bear form, and had spent most of the battle trying to get out of it. There was a possibility that trying to cancel the skill had unlocked something, but the first glimpse of the description killed that one.

Mommy’s Here: When a Mama Bear’s cubs need her, she knows. Whether it’s instinct, magic, or divine inspiration no one knows, but this skill lets them do something about it. When your children are in trouble, Mama Bear can be there. Distance increases the cost, cool down, and recovery time.

Woe be unto those who threaten Mama Bear’s children, for she is only an instant away.

Adam just smiled. Sometimes the flavor text weirded him out, and other times, like this one, it felt exactly right. It would likely be one of, it not the, most expensive skill he could acquire, but he was seriously considering it. More thought revealed that it would likely be nearly useless for some time, but he would definitely be back to consider it more closely at a later time. He needed to make sure the skills he got now would help him get to the level that he could afford to gain the emergency skills he was sure were imperative. And what could be more opportune to a child in an emergency than a massive bear suddenly appearing to defend them.

He also resolved to not tell anyone about the skill. If the duke knew about it, he’d force Adam to take it before he was ready for it. Anyone else knowing about it ran the risk of a potential enemy hearing of, and preparing for it. If he was going to be guarding children of nobility there was no telling what resources the people coming for them might have. If no one knew, no one could tell. Surprise, emergency, teleporting, massive bear. He never wanted to have to use it, but he would be lying if he said he was excited to see the looks on the faces of whoever set it off.

Remembering that he felt that weird feeling of a new skill when he was thinking about making cookies, he popped over to his crafting skills, finding a new sub skill under Cooking. A little poking revealed similar skills under cleaning and sewing as well.

Cooking Recipe Book: A good cook keeps all the recipes they use in a well Organized book for safe keeping.

Cleaning Recipe Book: Cleaners need to know how to mix up the different chemicals they need. This will keep them Organized.

Pattern Book: Everything you know how to sew needs a pattern, and this is where they stay Organized.

He groaned at the blatant a self-aggrandizement of Organization. It was certainly proving its worth in whipping up a number of incredibly useful skills, but did it need to tell him it had done so every time it helped him make a new skill? Couldn’t Organization just make one skill that held all of his crafting skills?

There was a lurching sensation, followed by what felt a bit like being hit with lightning. When he stopped swearing, and got himself stabilized, he realized his Sky Tome was trying to tell him something by attempting to brain him with a giant book again. Looking up he read the message.

Skill Gained!

Crafter’s Shelf!

So that was what gaining a skill felt like from the inside.

He quickly tracked it down, seeing it was almost exactly what he wanted, but still contained the name of the skill that made it all possible.

Crafter’s Shelf: One skill to rule them all, with help. A shelf upon which to keep all of your crafting Books Organized.

Useful or not, he was once again contemplating beating his head against the desk until one of them broke. He was very suspicious that it wouldn’t be the desk, which is all that kept him from trying.

As a bit of a test, he tried thinking really hard about making the notifications actually show up for skill gains when he wasn’t in his mindscape as well. He waited for a surprisingly long time before he remembered it wouldn’t change anything from the past. Hanging his head, he went back to looking for more skills, trying to ignore what he had just done. Something that was difficult with a certain old bastard laughing at him from the corner.