Audrey and I sit on the couch in my hotel room, looking out over the expanse of Shinara as we begin to plan out the future. Skyscrapers shine as if with an inner flame as the sun shines down upon them, and glittering light plays across the windows and reflects on the rolling waves of the ocean behind the city. It’s no wonder that the areas sentinels frequent in the GDF Headquarters are all near the top. The elevator ride might be a pain, but the view sure is worth it.
Vaguely, I wonder where my father had gone. Something must have come up because I can’t imagine him leaving my side for any reason. I’ll make sure to ask Audrey when I get a chance, but first, we have work to do.
“So, abilities?” I ask, turning to Audrey sitting beside me.
Audrey nods, “Yes, but first,” in a smooth, casual motion, Audrey leans forward and cuffs me lightly on the side of the head.
“Wha- hey! What was that for?!” I complain, rubbing the side of my head.
Audrey, however, completely ignores me. “Wake up and get out here, you lazy ass familiar! This involves you, too!”
Immediately, I feel a draining sensation in my core as, beside me on the couch, mist coalesces and swirls. The mist lasts only for a few seconds before dissipating to reveal the form of a cranky-looking Celeste.
Celeste looks more than a little haggard; her fur and feathers are ruffled, and her blue eyes are a touch bloodshot. Seeing her like this is a touch odd, given that I know this is just a projection. She could have made herself look pristine if she’d wanted, but instead, she’d chosen to have her appearance match how she felt.
[Serena is right; you are bad at being supportive,] Celeste complains as she climbs into my lap.
“And you’re bad at fighting; let’s fix that,” Audrey says, getting the conversation going once more.
While I get the feeling that Celeste hasn’t yet had her fill of whining, she simply settles down with a mental groan and looks up at Audrey expectantly.
“Right, abilities,” Audrey continues now that Celeste is present and… probably paying attention. “What did you get?”
“Two new abilities and my inventory,” I report, still channeling my motivation to get stronger rather than Celeste’s motivation to take a nap. “The abilities are called Hands of the Healer and Mist Step.”
Audrey nods, “That makes sense; no need to go over Hands of the Healer. Pretty much every blue sentinel ends up with it as one of their first abilities. That second one sounds interesting, though. What does it do?”
“I don’t actually know,” I say with a shrug, “I don’t remember getting it. It was just in my Status when I woke up.”
“Well, take a look then and share the description with me,” Audrey says.
Being curious myself, I don’t wait to take a look at the ability description.
Description: Mist Step
Become one with the mists. Mist Step allows you to become incorporeal mist and travel for a short duration. During this time, you are immune to all physical attacks. You can step through solid objects so long as there is an opening for the mist to travel.
Mana cost starts low and then grows exponentially the longer you remain in an incorporeal state. Mana expenditure is increased for each instance of an object passing through your incorporeal body.
My eyes widen as I read and then reread the description of the ability. Is… is this because I got impaled? Celeste had said that new abilities are gained based on what you do, along with your astral path and dominion. Is this my soul gem’s way of telling me to stop getting impaled?
I read out the ability description to the expectant Audrey, who barks a laugh. “Apparently, you need to get better at dodging,” she says with a grin. Then, her expression becomes more serious, “Jesting aside, though, this is an amazing ability. It’s going to make killing you a goddamn nightmare for any volcora that doesn’t have a more unique source of damage.”
Biting my lip with concentration, I look down at my arm and will the ability to activate. The effect is immediate and distressing. My entire body explodes into a Serena-shaped cloud of mist, and, for a moment, I feel lighter than air. Watching my arm, I see my flesh seem to melt away into the same swirling blue-white mist as my dominion art. Hesitantly, I wave my other hand through my arm, and it passes through with no resistance.
The entire sensation feels intensely strange — as if I’m both real and not real at the same time. Even the fact that I’m thinking right now without a physical brain just seems completely wrong. It feels like I’m a ghost, able to drift around at will without caring about things such as gravity or physical constraints. In a way, this ability represents absolute freedom, an ability to go wherever I please with nothing able to stand in my way.
As the drain on my mana starts to intensify, I release the skill, and my body reforms instantly. Luckily, my clothes had been transformed with me, or my little experiment might have turned very awkward very quickly.
“Woah,” I say, holding my head in dizziness, although there’s a smile on my face. I can think of all the times an ability like this might have been useful during the incursion zone. Specifically, one particular instance where I’d ended up with a piece of rebar in my stomach. But stars, that felt weird! It was like my body had suddenly lost all its mass, and now it’s suddenly just back again. I already can’t wait to try again!
“That will end up being one of your signature abilities,” Audrey comments, then leans forward with her hands clasped. “Now, let’s really get into this. I need to know everything else you can do so we can start formulating strategies. This is what we should have done instead of that incursion zone.”
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Although I only have three abilities, Audrey, Celeste, and I spend over an hour discussing them. We talk about the optimal use case for each ability individually and in concert, as well as how I need to do a lot more testing. At the moment, I can’t use my abilities too much without raising my mana toxicity to the point where any further healing on me would be delayed. So, most of what we discuss is theory. However, Audrey’s well of knowledge truly does run deep. She knows the items that will work well with my ability set in addition to the other abilities I should be aiming to earn, as well as how to get them.
Finally, reluctantly, I’m forced to mention my title to her. While to someone else, my title might seem like just any other ability, to me, it’s a deeply personal part of myself. It’s my internal motivations turned to power. The deepest part of my soul made manifest. The idea of speaking about it just feels… raw and personal. Like exposing myself to the world and making myself vulnerable. Yet, I know that I need to tell Audrey. It’s important that at least the side-effect of my title becomes widely known. I can’t have people like Calan just assuming I can heal myself because I’m a blue sentinel.
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Seeing my expression, Audrey halts her planning of the various tests we will need to perform in combining my Living Mists with my other abilities. She narrows her eyes at me, “What’s up? Pain starting to get to you? I can call Calan.”
I shake my head; while the pain is still quite bad, it isn't the source of this discomfort. “No… I, uh, I just need to tell you about something. Something I should have told you earlier.”
Audrey shrugs and offers a smile that was probably meant to be soothing… she really isn’t good at being soothing. “Sure, what’s up, kid?”
I consider trying to back out but grit my teeth and steel my resolve. This is something I need to do. “H-Have you heard of a sentinel getting a title?” I ask nervously.
At this, for the first time since I’d known her, Audrey looks surprised — then, she takes on a more familiar expression, annoyed. Leveling her emerald stare on me once more, eyes glittering with intensity, she asks, “Where did you learn about titles?” Her voice holds a hint of warning for what would happen if she didn’t like my answer.
My eyes widen, and nerves stir in my stomach. Even if I wasn’t injured, I have no hope against Audrey if I truly made her angry. I still vividly remember the waves of power that rolled off her while she’s in her assault state and how she had shattered my barrier with ease.
Swallowing, I consider my response. It’s too late to back out now. “I-I… well, i-its because… well, I have one,” I stammer out.
Audrey blinks, clearly not having expected that, and her intensity dies down by a good amount as she seems to contemplate. “Sorry, I thought you’d learned about someone else’s title. They are deeply personal and never to be shared without the express permission of the sentinel who holds it. In general, all people share about titles is what the downside is so they can inform their teams. How on Earth did you get one, though? Only very few sentinels ever get one, and they are generally in the higher reaches of power.”
“Do you have one?” I blurt before even considering the question. Audrey literally just told me not to ask about other people’s titles! How stupid am I?!
For a moment, Audrey’s eyes fall, complicated emotions playing across her face. “Yes… Jessie and I… we got ours together.”
I wait a moment for Audrey to continue, but that seems to be all she’s willing to say on the subject. As soon as I realize this, I start to apologize, “I’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean to bring up anything personal! I just-”
Audrey waves her hand dismissively, “It’s fine. Anyway, I assume you are bringing up titles because you wanted to talk to me about what yours does? I swear on my soul gem that I will never repeat anything I hear about it without your express permission.”
Her words help comfort the raging beast of nerves still swirling within me, but not by much. I swallow again, trying to work up courage, then I just start.
“So… my title. It’s weird; I feel like I understand it more than anything else, but also not… The more set-in-stone benefits and downsides seem obvious, and I really don’t mind sharing them, but it feels deeper than that. Deeper than anything that can be described by words,” I say, trying to articulate my thoughts in a way that could be understood. While my dad and Akari know I have a title, I don’t really think they understand what it means, not in the way Audrey seems to.
Audrey’s eyes soften through my explanation, and she laces her fingers together as she considers. “Titles are like that, Serena,” she says after a long moment. “They are like… well, how much do you understand about your Astral Path?”
I shake my head, confused at this turn of the conversation, “Nothing at all,” I say softly. “I know that the color association points to an archetype of sentinel, but other than that, not much.”
Audrey nods, having expected this. “Your Astral Path is who you are, on the deepest level. Like your title, it is deeply personal, which is why most sentinels only ever share their color and not their full path name.”
Audrey pauses for a long moment, seeming to think about the best way to put things before making up her mind on something. “Serena, my Astral Path is called Astra, as is my familiar. The word astra means weapon in Hindi, or more specifically, supernatural weapon. That is how I view myself; I am a weapon to be pointed at the Volcora. I am not a healer; I am not a guardian or even a teacher; I am a weapon. My title also revolves around this concept: to remove one’s humanity and become a weapon balancing on a knife's edge of oblivion.”
I blink, my mind racing with all the implications of what Audrey had just said. Does she truly view herself as a mere weapon? That is not a healthy outlook on life, nor is it a good mindset to have. But if it’s something about Audrey so prominent that her Astral Path is based around it…
“That… must be hard,” I say, unable to come up with a better response.
Audrey shrugs, her expression turning sad, “Yeah… It’s harder now. Before she died, Jessie’s Astral Path meant wielder. Without her, managing mine is harder.”
My eyes go wide at her words. A weapon without its wielder — that is how Audrey sees herself. How aimless must she feel without Jessie? How hopeless? I don’t know much about Jessie, but I can clearly see how much she meant to Audrey. Even now, that glittering dark soul gem hangs around Audrey’s neck — as it always does. A symbol of all she had lost, a symbol of what had shaped her into the woman she is now.
“Audrey… are you… okay?” I manage, keeping my voice incredibly gentle. As I speak, I can feel power welling in me, my title’s effect leaking into my words. Finally, I think I start to understand what it’s doing. My title is all about healing and protecting others, and right now, I can see that Audrey does need healing.
For a moment, Audrey seems shaken by my words and opens her mouth to respond. Before she does, she blinks and shakes her head. “We’re getting too far off-topic. We’re here to talk about you.”
I smile softly; I should have known that the effects of my title wouldn’t be enough to help Audrey so easily. But, if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. Later, though, I don’t want to force things.
“My Astral Path is called Chiron,” I tell Audrey, “I don’t know what it means or how it relates to my title, though.”
Audrey holds up a finger, bringing out her phone to type before nodding seriously to herself. “It’s a word from Astrology and means The Wounded Healer. It’s about exposing the deepest pain of yourself and others to help them heal. You reveal people’s deepest vulnerabilities in order to heal them.”
She levels a glare at me, “It’s very you.”
“W-What! I don’t…” I start before trailing off.
Ever since I’d become a sentinel, and even before then, people had always felt comfortable around me… comfortable enough to expose what they were really thinking. Akari, Claire, and, even before I became a sentinel, Benny. All of them had told me how they felt. How Akari felt like a demon child, how Claire had survivor’s guilt, and how Benny had never felt comfortable in his own body. In a way, even Audrey had exposed her true self to me, although I’m guessing she did so as an example.
“So… I’m making people tell me their deepest truth? My magic is helping with that?” I ask Audrey, horrified.
Audrey shakes her head, “Your Astral Path isn’t a power in of itself. It’s you. It is the path you walk. It is everything you have ever done and everything you will do. It is your path to power, and only by following it will you grow in strength.”
“But… ever since I got my title… I’ve felt it affecting people. Is it making people… you know?” I ask, still feeling horrified by my own ability.
Shrugging, Audrey says, “No idea, but probably. Titles have a lot of hidden effects like that. They are earned when someone does something so in line with their Astral Path that they expand it — make their path more potent. However, this expansion always comes with a backlash. Different soul gems always interpret this in different ways, but it always comes in the form of saying that your soul isn’t ready for the title it now has. That’s why they all have a downside — at first, at least.”
I nod at this, “The downside of my title is why I wanted to talk to you about it in the first place.”
Audrey makes a gesture for me to continue, so I do.
“Well… my title is called Soul of the Healer,” I start, my hands feeling clammy. “It doubles the effect of healing and protection abilities on others, allows me to directly see life force, and… it restricts me from healing myself.”
Audrey winces, “Well, I can see why you wanted to talk about it. That is a restriction that will need to become widely known, I’m afraid. We can’t have people like Calan thinking that you can just finish up your own healing. Since you’re so new, he wasn’t sure if you had a healing ability or not, but in the future, everyone would expect you to be able to heal yourself.”
“But… I can keep the rest of it to myself, right?” I ask.
“Yeah, most sentinels do,” Audrey says, nodding.
I breathe a sigh of relief. I really don’t want information about my title and my Astral Path to become widely known. I’m fine with the side-effect, but I’d like to keep the rest to myself.
We both fall silent for a moment before Audrey speaks up once more. “You said that you could see life force? How does that work?”
I shrug, glancing at Audrey’s own pink life force burning in her center. “It generally looks like a vibrantly colored fire burning in the center of someone’s chest. By looking at it, I can tell how they are doing, mentally and physically.”
Audrey frowns deeply, and then her eyes go wide. Hurriedly, she unclasps the necklace holding Jessie’s soul gem around her neck and clutches the chain in her fist. Then, she thrusts the gem out towards me.
“Do you see anything?!” she demands, her eyes full of hope.
Gently, reverently, I take the gem from her. Looking down, I see the tiny pinpricks of light dancing across its dark surface. The gem is startlingly heavy in my hand, like holding a piece of lead. It’s also warm, more so than it should be from just resting against Audrey’s skin.
Moving the gem close to my face, I look closely as Audrey hovers over me. I strain my eyes, trying to see something within the darkness of the gem. I know what Audrey wants from me; she wants to know if Jessie’s life force still burns somewhere in this gem. If bringing her back is possible.
I look for a long time, but all I see is darkness and swirling pinpricks of light, like little stars. Despite this, I keep looking, desperate to catch a glimpse of something, anything. To give Audrey the hope that she deserves. Eventually, though, I sigh, “I-I’m sorry, I don’t-”
I cut myself off abruptly, and my eyes go wide as saucers. There, in the center of the gemstone, is the smallest spark of vibrant blue. More of a hint of color than something substantial. It’s so impossibly tiny that I’d mistaken it for one of the pinpricks of starlight, but it’s definitely there.
Looking up at Audrey, my words catch in my throat as I meet her equally wide eyes. “Audrey,” I choke out… “Jessie is still in there…”