I wake up with a gasp, thrashing impotently at the sheets that entrap me as my eyes search the room for threats. Flashes of memory burn through my mind: corpses strewn across rain-soaked asphalt, Claire screaming as she clutches at the remains of what used to be her arm, and finally, Akari and I pushing ourselves to the limit to finish what we’d started. A battle of life and death where the consequences for failure were unacceptable.
My stomach screams with agony as I move, and my limbs ache with weakness. Still, I manage to sit bolt upright in the bed I’d found myself as I take in the scene around me. Only then do my panicked breaths begin to slow; only then does the terror ripping apart my insides like a rabid beast begin to calm.
Gone is the decrepit false city, replaced by a scene that is more than familiar. I’d spent enough time in hospital rooms with my mother, after all. Although, I’d never found myself the one in the sick bed. As a girl, I had come to rooms like this after school to tell Mom what I’d done that day and what was troubling me. The troubles of a child. And while today I curse myself for wasting that precious time with my mother talking about myself, I treasure those memories more than any other.
The hospital room is dark; the only sound is that of soft beeping, my labored breaths, and the thundering of my heart. The room I find myself in is much nicer than the ones I’d frequented as a child. For one, it’s much larger. About the size of a standard classroom, the room has many of the features of a hotel room, including a small living area, a television, and a kitchenette. Really, the only things that identify the real purpose of this room are the medical-style bed I lay in and the machine my right arm is hooked up to. A machine that is beeping an alert that will likely bring the doctors to the room. I’m willing to bet that my heart rate had spiked when I’d woken. Oops.
All thoughts vanish from my mind when I see a head poke up from the back of the couch. A pair of familiar blue eyes regard me in the darkness for just a moment before the familiar figure bursts into motion.
Tears already blur my vision when Dad reaches me, looking like he wants to sweep me up into a massive hug. He hesitates, though, looking at me with a conflicted expression that I recognize. That’s how he’d looked at Mom when he’d wanted to hug her but was scared that she was too fragile.
I, however, don’t hesitate. I wrap my arms around my father as tight as I can, tears streaming down my face as I breathe in his familiar scent of old paper. It’s not until this moment that I finally, truly, feel safe. I’d left that freezing, wet hell behind me and had found my way back home.
Dad returns my hug, holding me as tightly as he dares. For a long few minutes, we just stay like that, father and daughter, embracing in the dark. Eventually, though, the moment has to end. With my adrenaline fading, the pain from my wound reasserts itself, building and building in my stomach until I can’t help but let out an involuntary whimper.
Dad responds instantly to my soft cry of pain, releasing me and helping me lie back on the bed. “Serena,” he says softly, and while his voice is filled with worry, it also holds a great deal of relief. “How do you feel, baby girl? Are you okay?”
I grimace, “My stomach hurts, but… probably not as bad as it should,” I rasp out. My mouth is bone dry from the lack of water, and I still feel incredibly weak.
“Is there anything I can get you?” Dad asks before glancing at the machine hooked to my right arm. “I think your doctor is already on his way.”
“Just… water.” I manage, trying and failing to swallow.
Dad nods, moving quickly away from me and towards the small kitchenette — he flicks on a small overhead light that illuminates the room in warm clarity. As he fetches a glass and begins to fill it, my heart continues to calm. My eyes drift around the room, finding posters all over the walls. Almost all of them have text along the lines of “Get well soon” or “Hang in there.” Amusingly, almost all of them are sentinel-themed.
One such poster depicts a cartoon version of Kayne, the terrifying sentinel I’d run into in the inscriptions shop. He’s shown with a huge smile and a thumbs up with the text, “Feel better soon, Champ!” written out above him in black and violet fire. Even his familiar, a creature akin to a black tiger with violet stripes, is drawn doing a cute pose. Having met the man in real life, the poster is more than a little amusing. How on Earth did they get him to agree to that?
The sight also reminds me of my own familiar, causing another streak of panic to run through me. Celeste has to be okay, too, right?
“Celeste, are you okay?” I ask mentally, sending the thought in the direction of my absentee familiar. I’d never had a chance to resummon her, so she must be fine, right?
[About as well as you are,] Celeste responds after a moment, with the equivalent of a mental groan. I get the feeling that I’d woken her, and, like mine, her mental voice is weak and fragile.
“Hey… we survived,” I say, smiling softly at the poster across from my bed. I wonder if I can find one of Audrey.
[We survived,] Celeste agrees softly. [Now… I’m going back to sleep till your body doesn’t hurt so much.]
“Traitor, I just have to sit here and feel it,” I complain, resting a hand on my stomach. The image of the piece of rebar sticking out of me is still vivid in my mind; the horrible pain and the taste of rain and blood mixing together in my mouth is not something I’ll ever forget.
[I don’t feel bad in the slightest. Who do you think sheltered you from most of the mental assault in the mind flayer fight. I’m spent,] Celeste responds.
I close my eyes, my mind playing through the fight again in fast forward. How much had Celeste sheltered me from? The only mental attack that had affected me in that fight had been the vision in the beginning.
“Rest as much as you need. I think we both deserve it,” I say with a fond smile.
Dad returns soon after with a glass of water, which I quickly down. Sadly, we don’t get to talk any further than that before the arrival of the doctor.
The door bursts open, revealing a young man dressed in flamboyant blue robes. I immediately peg him as a sentinel in his assault state for several reasons. The first, obviously, being his outfit. His robes look like something a wizard would wear in a fantasy game, complete with a pointy hat. The entire ensemble is embellished with white markings that look like flowing waves — which immediately makes me assume that he has some kind of water-related domain.
The second reason he screams sentinel in my mind — rather than cosplayer — is the efficiency of his movement. To put it simply, he moves like Audrey does. Each motion is performed with smooth efficiency and easy confidence. I know what it is to be able to move like that, like your entire body is a perfectly balanced machine, although I’m far from that now.
Dad straightens from where he had been crouched beside my bed, turning to face the sentinel with a smile. “Calan, it’s good to see you. I thought someone else would be coming since it’s so late.”
The sentinel, Calan, apparently, nods. “Yes, well… another team of sentinels was nearly wiped today… yesterday? Doesn’t matter. The survivors were rushed to intensive care, and we have been working around the clock to stabilize them. I was actually just on my way out when I received the alert that Serena’s heart rate spiked,” Calan explains, his voice oddly high with a nasally quality.
Calan strides farther into the room until he stands over my bed with my father. I squirm uncomfortably, wanting to sit up but knowing that probably isn’t a good idea. Still, I don’t like meekly lying in bed while the two men stand over me, even if one of them is my father.
Calan gazes down at me, his eyes the same vivid blue as my own. “Ah, you’re awake,” he says, his face splitting with an earnest smile even though he seems exhausted. “I’m guessing you panicked upon waking? That is a common reaction for sentinels who have gone through what you have.”
I nod, “Yeah, I… For a moment, I was still there, you know?”
Calan closes his eyes — for a moment, seeming far older than he appears. He takes a moment before opening his eyes once more and saying, “I know.”
A silent moment of understanding passes between us, a connection that all sentinels must share. While I’m still new to this, I’d already seen my share of horrors. I can only imagine what someone like Audrey or Calan had experienced in their career.
Finally, Calan blinks, “I’m afraid your mana toxicity level is still too high for me to administer more magical healing. We will need to wait until the morning for your next treatment. However, I’m sure you are still in a lot of pain. The most I can do is offer you some standard painkillers; they will more than likely put you to sleep, though.”
“Sleep is fine,” I say softly, but a question quickly jumps to mind. What does he mean by saying that my mana toxicity is too high for more healing? Couldn’t he just heal away the problem immediately? “If you don’t mind me asking, though,” I continue, “why not just finish the healing?”
“You are very new to being a blue sentinel, so you wouldn’t have learned this yet. Now is as good of a time as any, I suppose,” Calan says, adjusting his hat. “Mana toxicity does not just build up in you when you use your magic; it also builds up when magic is used upon you. Things like recovery items, serums, and many other items and abilities will raise a person’s mana toxicity level when used. In general, if it uses mana to affect your body, it influences mana toxicity.”
“Which is why you can’t just heal people all at once?” I ask.
“Precisely,” Calan responds happily, “sentinels in situations like yours almost always come in while already at their limit for mana toxicity. We have to be very careful about how much healing to apply and when. Too much too soon could kill you, and too little could lead to your death as well. It’s a fine balance.”
“I see,” I say, although I’m not sure I’m in the best shape to learn at the moment. I have so many more questions, but I already feel on the verge of passing out at any moment.
Calan winces, “I apologize. Let me get that pain medication for you so you can sleep. I can get a touch passionate when I talk about subjects that interest me. Don’t worry, though; I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to train you once you’re better.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” I say weakly before grimacing in pain once more. Some pain medicine would be nice. Especially if I’m going to be injured for more than a few minutes.
It’s a touch disappointing that major injuries can’t just be whisked away in a moment by a powerful sentinel, although it’s also kind of gratifying. What I’d been through had been terrifying. For the majority of the time, I honestly believed that dying was more likely than success. If the injury I’d sustained in that place had been just effortlessly healed away, then it would be so easy to just decompartmentalize the entire experience — to push it off into a corner of my mind and not learn from what happened.
I can’t do that, though. I know what I’m up against now, and I am nowhere near strong enough to deal with it. If Audrey hadn’t found us before we encountered the mind flayer, we would have walked straight to our deaths like lambs to the slaughter. At our current level of power, there is no hope against a foe like that. No matter what tactics, no matter what preparation, it would have toyed with us and then killed us.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
A long time ago, I'd set myself the goal to be as good of an archer as Stardust Angel. Now, I really know what that means. Audrey is not just an archer; she is an expert combatant, always prepared and always ready. Even if she’d fought the mind flayer alone, I’m not convinced she wouldn’t have survived it somehow. I need to be like that. Only once I can walk through hell with the same casual grace she does will I ever be ready.
We need to get stronger. Not just me but my entire team. We’d known we were going in underprepared, but the sheer degree to which we were outmatched was staggering. The only way to grow, though, is to keep going into spaces like that one. So, we need to be the best at it. And, as the healer, it’s my job to make sure we all keep coming out alive.
Calan returns to the room a few minutes later with a large needle that initially makes my eyes bug out. If he is planning on sticking that into me, then he has another thing coming. Instead, though, he injects the needle into the IV drip beside my bed that sits beside the machine monitoring my vitals. Then, with a smile and a wave, he departs. Leaving only my father to continue fussing over me as my eyelids get heavier.
Scene Break [https://i.imgur.com/ROt3fAw.png]
When I next wake, it isn’t in nearly as much of a panic. Instead, I come awake slowly, marveling at the lack of pain in my middle. Despite the whole mana toxicity thing, magical healing is still awesome.
Rather than in the middle of the night like the last time I’d woken, this time, light streams through the open window, which looks down on the city far below us. In the light, the room looks even more like a posh hotel room rather than a hospital room. The couches are clearly leather, and the appliances all look high-tech and new.
I look around for my father, feeling much more clear-headed than the last time I’d woken. Dad, however, isn’t to be found; instead, sitting on one of the couches, is Audrey.
Audrey looks more haggard than I’ve ever seen her. Naturally, her face still looks perfect, and her hair shines with luster, yet she has a bedhead and stares down at her phone with tired eyes. Still, just seeing her up and around is a sight for sore eyes. The last time I’d seen her, she’d been lying unconscious on the street, seconds away from being executed.
“Audrey?” I ask, sitting up in bed. I wince in pain as the soreness of my stomach flairs up into proper pain, but I'm surprised at how easily I’m able to move. Calan, or someone else, must have done more healing for me. I still feel weak from mana toxicity, and my stomach isn’t in the greatest condition, but I’m alive.
Audrey looks up from her from her phone, revealing bloodshot eyes. Still, she offers a smile as she stands from her seat and moves towards me. Audrey, I notice, moves with that same unnatural grace that Calan had, even outside of her assault state. I wonder how she does it and if she’ll teach me.
“Hey, kid,” Audrey says as she strides over, “good to see you’re alive.”
I return her smile, “You too,” I respond before my smile falters. Time to rip off the band-aid. “Everyone else… the soldiers, my team? Are they okay?”
Audrey grimaces, “They’re all alive, if that’s what you’re asking. Your teammate Claire is in a bad way, though. Your rush job healing in the field probably saved her life, but they had to amputate her arm. The blue sentinels are regrowing it, but that’s a lengthy process. She’ll be without a functional arm for about a month.”
I wince, “And the others?”
“The rest of your team is alright. They only had light wounds and a very high mana toxicity. They’ve all made a full recovery already, along with the only surviving GDF soldier, Lucas. Also, if you’re wondering, I managed to get most of the other mentors out before they died, so our final sentinel death toll was surprisingly low for such a disaster of an incursion zone,” Audrey explains.
“What was the final count?” I ask, even though I dread hearing the answer.
Audrey hangs her head, “Two sentinel mentors and twenty-nine GDF soldiers. Thirty-one deaths in total.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, “Damn it.”
Audrey lifts her head and looks me in the eye. “Don’t say that. This was a victory. Every single one of us knew what we were getting into other than maybe you kids. They died so others could live. Don’t take that away from them or turn them into victims in your mind.”
I laugh weakly, “I thought you hated all the noble sacrifice talk.”
“I do,” Audrey says bitterly. “Still, if that is the dignity they have in death, it is dignity I will leave them with. I won’t pick at it.”
I sigh, letting the silence hang for a moment before I ask, “What now? I don’t really know how I’m supposed to just go back to school after what I saw.”
“Use your school time to decompress and let your mana toxicity go down,” Audrey says with a shrug. “Hold on to that last bit of normal because your life is only going to get harder and stranger. Now, though, now we move forward by looking at the gains.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.
The only thing my time in an incursion zone gained me is a new respect for the horrors that sentinels go through. For the pain and suffering that is bore out behind the scenes so that the people of Shinara can live their lives in peace.
“I mean sub-ranks and abilities,” Audrey says. “You must have gotten some, right? I saw you using a healing ability, and I’m willing to bet that you must have unlocked your inventory as well. You need to consolidate your gains so that you can do better next time.”
Huh, I hadn’t actually looked at my Status since before the incursion zone. I vaguely remember receiving a notification after killing the mind flayer, but I don’t remember what it said. It will be interesting to see how my status has changed.
Status
Name: Serena Solace Sentinel Alias: None Gender: Female Mana Toxicity: 58.7% Barrier Integrity: 100% Mana: 100% Rank: E (Breeze) Progress To Next Rank: 60% Sub-Rank: 6 Progress To Next Sub-Rank: 46%
General Information
Astral Path: Chiron (Blue) Familiar: Celeste Dominion: Weather Dominion Art: Living Mists
Abilities
Hands of the Healer Mist Step
Inventory
I stare at the information on my Status for a long moment, looking over the benefits I’d gained from the incursion zone. Thirty-one lives… this is not worth thirty-one lives. How is it fair that they get death, but I get more power? I know I shouldn’t dwell on it, or it will likely drive me insane. Still, no change on my Status is worth the price the men who’d accompanied us into the incursion zone had paid.
“I did unlock my inventory,” I say, although my voice is devoid of the excitement I previously had when looking over my Status. Last time, I’d been with Celeste and Dad, excitedly going over my new powers. Now, Celeste is still asleep somewhere in the back of my mind, and I’m alone with Audrey. While I’d admired Audrey for a long time, for all practical purposes, she is still a stranger to me.
From her position beside my bed, Audrey levels a glare at me. “Stop moping. You just got a magical ability that people would kill for, and you sound like someone ran over your dog. That was a shitty incursion, I get it. I was there, too, and it fucking sucked. But if you are going to fall apart just because of one bad experience, then you really did make the wrong choice when you decided to become a sentinel. Now, woman up, tell me about your new abilities, and we’ll work out how we are going to do better next time.”
“You’re not very good at being supportive,” I comment dryly, swiping a lock of blonde hair from my eyes.
“If you want someone to be supportive, go talk to a therapist,” Audrey snarks right back. “If you want to be strong, then we still have work to do.”
Audrey is right… I know that. Her words match my own earlier revelation. I’d gone in there with those soldiers, and, at least in part, it had been my responsibility to make sure everyone got out alive. I’d failed at that responsibility, not just once, but thirty-one times. I have to be stronger; I have to do better next time. Otherwise, I’ll have squandered their sacrifices, and next time, the deaths will be my fault. If I don’t try my hardest to grow as strong as I can, and someone dies because I was too weak to help them… well, that’s just on me.
For the first time since I’d woken up here, I sit up straight. Despite the pain that throbs through my abdomen, I don’t allow myself to stop. Gently, I remove the IV drip from my arm and scoot towards the edge of the bed. Right now, Audrey needs me to be strong, and I can’t do that from a hospital bed.
Audrey grins down at me as I swing my legs off the side of the bed, the white fabric of my hospital gown falling down to my ankles. “There you go, let’s get some fucking fire in those eyes. Now you know what you’re truly up against. Are you just going to lie down and give up?”
Gritting my teeth, I place my bare feet on the tile floor and force myself to stand. My stomach screams in pain, and I know that this is — very likely — a stupid idea. Yet, Audrey had hyped me up, and I’m not about to fail now. I don’t know why, but I cannot respond to her while I’m still in that bed, while I’m still hiding from what happened.
Once I’m standing on my own two feet, I look up at Audrey with passion. “No,” I say firmly, “I will never give up.”
Audrey laughs, a smile still on her perfect lips. “That’s some good shit right there,” she says happily. “You, uh, probably should sit down, though. Calan will be pissed if you hurt yourself worse by moving around.”
Wrapping a gentle arm around me, Audrey guides me to the leather couch she’d been waiting on previously. It sits before a large coffee table with several empty cups scattered around and looks out over a large window showing Shinara far, far below us.
As we sit, I find myself looking down at the city with passion. What I see out that window is why I’d gone into the incursion zone — why I’d pushed myself to my very limits. This city is my home, and I would die to protect it.
Audrey sits at my side, leaning forward towards me and rubbing her hands together with excitement. “Let’s talk about how we are going to make you stronger.”