Sleeping last night was hard. When I’d finally found myself alone, the fact that I had been chosen to be a Sentinel Candidate had finally sunk in. In many ways, it feels incredible. The sentinels are basically superheroes from the old comics! Protecting the world from the Volcora with amazing powers and flashy costumes. More accurately, though, the sentinels are soldiers fighting a never-ending war against the Volcora. It makes me wonder what Stardust Angel will be like when I meet her. What kind of horrible things had she seen in her long career?

I shoulder my school bag nervously as I stand by the door. I’m in my school uniform because I want to head to the school after the meeting, even if the only class I want to attend is archery. First, though, I’m going to be meeting with Stardust Angel, which is a surreal thought. I mentally order myself once more to just act normal. She’s just a normal person, totally not my childhood ideal or anything. I sigh; I’m going to be an absolute train wreck.

Dad is also readying to leave, but his first class doesn’t start quite as early as my meeting, so he’s a bit slower out the door than me. Just as I’m about to depart, he moves over and wraps me in a fierce hug, tight enough to lift me off of my feet.

I let out a squeak of protest, “Caaaann’t… breeeaathe,” I wheeze as Dad hugs me tight.

With a chuckle, he lets me down, “Sorry, Hun, all that business last night just has me nervous. Just… be safe, okay? Whether you become a sentinel or not, you’ll always be my daughter. Remember that.”

I look up at him with a smile, “I will, Dad! Everything will be fine!” I exclaim, doing my best to actually believe it.

With that, I turn to Celeste, who trails behind me. “Are you sure it’s okay for you to come with me? Won’t people see you?”

Celeste shakes her head. [Familiars have magic to be selectively visible; it’s part of us only being partially physical. While we are almost always with our sentinels, most of the time, we only allow them to see us. Some familiars are more flamboyant than others, but most of us don’t like being seen much.]

“Well, as long as people don’t get freaked out by you following me down the skyway, I suppose it doesn’t matter,” I say with a shrug.

With a leap and a flap of white wings, Celeste lands on my right shoulder, her long tail settling onto my backpack. [Ready to go!] she proclaims, and I notice that she’d also become quite a bit smaller than when I’d first seen her.

I snicker, “I’m not a horse,” I protest as I head out the door, calling, “Bye, Dad!” over my shoulder.

As I enter the hallway and make my way to the elevator down to the skyway, I find that what Celeste had told me holds up. No one even gives me a second glance despite the familiar on my shoulder.

So, like that, I make my way towards the café Celeste had indicated would be our meeting place. It isn’t the same as the one I usually like, but what can you do?

As we walk, Celeste speaks into my mind. [Right now, it will be kind of hard for you to talk to me while out in public, at least without looking insane. Once we are properly bonded, you will be able to speak with me telepathically, but until then, here is a good trick. If you need to talk to me, just put your phone to your ear and pretend to be talking to someone there. That way, no one will give you a second glance.]

Instead of responding, I simply nod. People talking to themselves on the skyway isn’t so out of place, but it certainly would draw attention to me — attention that I don’t want. It’s certainly a good idea, although most would assume that I had an earbud in or something if I just randomly started talking to myself.

As I follow Celeste’s directions towards the café, I get more and more nervous. I’m literally going to meet my childhood hero. Everything feels like it’s moving so fast, and I’m not sure I can keep up. All I can do is keep moving forward, though. Besides, it’s not like I’ve accepted anything yet.

After around a twenty-minute walk, I arrive at a small coffee shop similar to Cherry’s Checkerboard Café. Instead of a large location, however, the shop is only big enough for a few tables. A small sign proclaims the shop to be named Starlit Café. The theme of the shop is a dark blue color sprinkled with ostentatious golden stars, and the space is permeated with the wonderful scent of coffee beans that immediately has my nose twitching.

Only two people are present inside, likely due to the early hour, and both are young women. One is working the counter, although quite obviously on her phone. The other is a woman who seems to be in her early twenties or perhaps her late teens who sits at the table by the ubiquitous floor-to-ceiling window. She has long, dark hair and a casual beauty that anyone would envy. With her nose buried in a book, she doesn’t even seem to notice my entrance while she sips her coffee.

Around the woman’s neck is a necklace with a strange gem at the end. It’s pure black except for tiny pinpricks of light that it gives off, lights that shift and move unnaturally in an entrancing fashion.

[She’s here,] Celeste says, motioning to the young woman sitting with her book with a flick of the feathered end of her tail.

I frown, biting my lip. While the young woman is definitely attractive and looks a lot like Stardust Angel, she just seems too… normal. Even with Celeste’s confirmation, it’s impossible for me to connect the two people in my mind as the same.

“Are you sure,” I whisper as quietly as possible. I don’t want to doubt Celeste, but I also don’t want to make a fool of myself.

[I’m sure,] Celeste replies. [I can sense her familiar in this room with us. The reason you can’t recognize her is due to magic related to her assault state. It makes it almost impossible to identify the transformed person and the untransformed person as the same. It’s what allows even the most well-known sentinels to have lives outside of their jobs.]

“Assault state?” I question, unsure what she’s referring to.

[Every sentinel has an assault state and a rest state,] Celeste explains. [Most, if not all, of the sentinels you have seen online have been in their assault state, where they are burning power to be as strong as possible. Most sentinels only enter that state to fight or when they want to be recognized as a sentinel. Otherwise, they spend almost all of their time in a much weaker rest state. Sorry, I can’t explain much more than that unless you accept the bond and become a full sentinel.]

With Celeste’s explanation, I feel a little bit better. Still, it’s hard to believe that the person I’d idolized for so long is just… well, a normal person. Yes, she’s very beautiful, but… she just seems so average sitting there and reading a book. It’s hard to put two and two together, but at this point, I just need to go for it instead of standing around being awkward.

Stepping up to the table the young woman is sitting at, I give a tentative smile. “Um… hi. My name is Serena. I was told you were expecting me?”

The woman looks up from her book with an amused expression — she must have heard me talking to Celeste. “Hello Serena, I am indeed. Please, take a seat. My name is Audrey, although you might know me better as Stardust Angel.”

I feel a shiver of ice down my spine as, suddenly, the two personas come together in my mind. It’s as if I had needed Stardust Angel or… Audrey, to introduce herself to force my mind to finally make the leap. Typically, this would be a good thing. Now, though… now I know for certain that I’m casually sitting with my childhood hero in a coffee shop.

This is fine! Just be normal! “N-Nice to meet you, Audrey,” I manage, unable to stop my voice from quivering as I take the seat across from her. It’s her, it’s really her! I’m stuck somewhere between wanting to run away and wanting to ask her a hundred questions at once.

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Audrey nods, “And you, Serena,” she says before calling over to the young woman at the counter. “Can you lock up for a while, Alex! We’re going to be talking about private matters!” she calls over the woman.

The employee, Alex, apparently, just gives Audrey a thumbs up before making her way to the glass door and putting up a sign on the outside stating that a private event was going on. For a long moment, I just stare in confusion before I finally figure it out. Starlit Café, Stardust Angel, the connection isn’t too hard to make.

“You own the shop?” I ask Audrey, who raises her hand in a so-so gesture.

“One of my teammates did, actually. When she died a few years back, I took over the place and decided to keep it in business as a way to remember her. I like to use it for work meetings, too; it’s a lot nicer than some boring GDF conference room, don’t you think?” Audrey explains, casually taking another sip of her coffee.

I nod, looking around in wonder. How could someone so young be a business owner? Or… well, is she young? Stardust Angel had been a sentinel since I was a kid, and she hardly looks twenty years old. Does being a sentinel slow down aging? That’s a super great question for when I have time for such things, but just as I’m considering it, Celeste decides to make herself known.

[Thank you for agreeing to meet with us, Audrey. I am Celeste. I have offered my bond to Serena, and we were hoping that you could provide her with some answers to her questions as well as what it is like being a sentinel,] Celeste says, hopping off of my shoulder and onto the table.

I start when, with a shimmer, another familiar appears on the table beside Celeste. Celeste and the other familiar, who looks like a small, dark panther with fur reminiscent of a starry night sky, peer at each other curiously. I wonder if they are talking.

Audrey looks vaguely amused as she watches the two circling familiars. “Hello Celeste, we spoke earlier, but it’s good to meet you officially. This is my familiar, Astra.”

Audrey’s smile fades somewhat as she turns back to me, “Serena, should you choose to accept Celeste’s bond, I would be your mentor. This means that I would work with you and keep you from getting hurt while you learn your powers and learn to work with your team. In short, I’d be in charge of your training. However, I hear you have reservations about accepting a familiar bond. That’s understandable, although perhaps we can discuss them and see if I can help you move past whatever’s bothering you?”

I nod, looking up from looking over the two familiars to meet Audrey’s eyes. I’m still full of nervous energy, but this is something I have to do. This could be my only chance to learn before I made my final decision.

“Truthfully, I am afraid to fight the Volcora. Afraid of leaving my normal life behind. I… I like my life. And I know that being a sentinel should be a dream job, but… I just don’t know how to feel about it,” I explain, a blush rising to my cheeks. It’s hard to admit to my hero that I am afraid to do what she does.

In a smooth motion, Audrey slides her hand across the table, around the familiars, and captures my hand in hers. Her grip is gentle but firm as she continues staring into my eyes. “Good,” she says simply.

“Good?” I ask, eyes wide.

Audrey nods, releasing my hand once more, “Good. The worst sentinels are the ones that think themselves superheroes, the protagonist of the story. They accept the offered bond on the spot and act like they were chosen by fate or some bullshit. You should have reservations about accepting this job. It isn’t for the faint of heart. You will have to fight; you will have to kill. You will have to make choices that could affect the lives of your teammates and friends. Being a sentinel is far from easy.”

Audrey leans forward, getting into her lecture, “You say that you’re afraid. Only an insane person wouldn’t be. Right now, you have a good, happy life. All you have to do to keep living it is say no, and yet you’re here, honestly considering becoming a sentinel. That takes bravery.”

I lean back in my seat, startled by the sheer intensity of Audrey’s words. Enough so that Celeste stops her circling of Astra and moves close to push her head against my arm in a very animalistic way. I give her a small pet as I consider what Audrey said. Brave? Am I brave? I mean, I’m scared, scared of all of this, but am I brave for not simply refusing the bond outright? I’m just not sure.

“I don’t feel brave,” I tell Audrey, my eyes falling. I’d been telling the whole truth since I’d gotten here, and I see no reason to change that.

Audrey just shrugs, waving her hand as if to dismiss my comment. “And yet, you are. One does not need to feel brave to be brave, Serena. In fact, if you weren’t scared, you wouldn’t be brave; you’d just be dumb.”

For a moment, Audrey falls silent, appearing to consider. Then she nods to herself and speaks. “If you’ll allow me, I’d like to lay out your two options in a different light than you are perhaps considering.” Audrey pauses, waiting for me to wave her onward before continuing.

“You have two paths before you. One, the path of a warrior, the other, the path of a civilian. Neither is inherently right or wrong. As a civilian, you get to live a calm, peaceful life. You won’t have to worry about fighting or dying the vast majority of the time. You’ll get a job, meet someone, and maybe even have kids. Still, let’s say something bad does happen. Let’s say the Volcora break out of an incursion zone into wherever you are, or they assault the city. Something that is becoming more and more likely in recent days. If that happens, the only real choice you have is to stand behind someone like me. Nothing wrong with that; it’s my job to protect the people of Shinara. But if it was your life, the lives of your family, or the lives of your friends on the line, would you want to wait for me to come to protect you? To be helpless in the face of that kind of danger?”

Audrey watches me closely as I consider her question. Would I want to have to stand behind someone else? Knowing that if they make a mistake, I could lose everything. What if Dad was with me, and he could get hurt? I… no, I couldn’t do it. I would much rather be able to protect him myself. Then, at least if I make a mistake, it was mine. My prerogative, my ability, my choice.

I shake my head, “No, I would want to protect my family myself,” I say with confidence.

“That, Serena, is the choice you have before you. You can live like a normal person, be happy, and enjoy yourself. But when your darkest day comes, your fate will be out of your hands. Or, you can take the bond and tell fate to go fuck itself,” Audrey says before leaning back in her chair with a sigh.

“You want to know what it’s like to be a sentinel?” she asks, her eyes drifting to the ceiling. “Most days, it’s the greatest job you could ever have. Money, power, fame, influence, you can have it all; wield power that no normal person can dream of, and all the while, you can mostly continue living your normal life. Sure, you would spend half of each week at GDF Headquarters training and half at your normal school until you graduate. You’d also have to participate in clearing incursions once you’re ready, but that’s not really so bad once you get used to it. However…” Audrey’s green eyes lock onto mine, piercing me straight to my soul.

“There are some days where you learn what it truly means to be a sentinel — the price we pay for the gifts we’ve been given. The day when everything goes wrong, and you have to choose between your own safety and the lives of thousands. When you have to confront threats that you don’t think you’ll survive. When the sky falls, and you need to be there to hold it up. Dark days happen to us all, and you’ll see more than most if you choose to become a sentinel. But the real choice is what you want to do on that darkest day. Do you want to stand up and fight or let someone else do it for you? When you can answer that, you’ll know what to do.”

I sit enraptured by Audrey’s words as they spin in my mind, my imagination trying to craft images of the horrors she must have seen. Even the two familiars sit staring at Audrey, listening intently to every word.

Finally, after a moment of silence, Audrey stands from her seat and holds out her hand. Her book vanishes from the table in a shimmer of light, like a swirling nebula. I stand as well, taking her hand in mine as she offers me that gentle smile once more. We shake and draw apart, Celeste once more bounding up to my shoulder.

“Think on what I told you, Serena. Think long and hard. And for what it’s worth, I hope to see more of you. I hear you are quite the archer, and if you end up agreeing to the bond, I can teach you to shoot in ways you’ve never imagined. Shooting a bow is far more than just propelling sticks with string,” Audrey says, her smile turning wry.

I smile, too, “Thank you for meeting me, Audrey. I’m sure you’ll be the first to know when I make my decision,” I tell her.

“Until then,” she says, making her way to the door of the café. “Goodbye for now, Serena,” she says before ducking out the door.

image [https://i.imgur.com/MninSff.png]

Despite my outward calm, as I walk from the Starlit Café, my mind feels as if it’s tied in knots. My emotions roil in my stomach, and my hands tremble ever so slightly at my sides. Although I’ve yet to say it aloud, I think I know what my decision is.

Audrey’s words echo in my mind as I imagine the scenarios she’d described. She’s right, of course; the news had been showing more and more places when the Volcora had broken out and reaped entire towns and even small cities. While none of the major cities in Japan have been directly attacked yet, people have been speculating that large-scale assault is only a matter of time. When that happens, how will I protect my father? How will I protect myself? As I am now, I would likely find myself hiding behind my dad, quaking with fear. Like Audrey said, I would be utterly dependent on someone else protecting me. If someone’s mistake got me killed, it wouldn’t be mine but whoever showed up to help, if anyone showed up at all.

Playing Audrey’s words again, I nod to myself, knowing what I want to do. I know that things won’t be easy. In fact, I will probably regret this choice over and over. However, I want to have a choice. When worst comes to worst, I want to be able to protect my own. I want to be a beacon standing against the darkness like Stardust Angel. And despite the fear that engenders in me, I know that it’s right. I want to protect people. I want to be a sentinel.