“Deities are what grant us magic Myra. They are the ones that allow us to go beyond what regular humans are capable, and for you to use magic you are going to have to pick a patron that you will be a disciple for.” Roxy said, grabbing a tiny vial from her jacket. The liquid inside was a pure dark, not a simple black but a complete lack of any coloration whatsoever. Looking at it for too long hurt my eyes. “And for you to be able to pick a patron deity you are going to have to talk to them yourself. Once you drink this potion your soul will leave your body and you will be at the place you have dreamt about for a few weeks now, back at the stairwell. But this time there will be something waiting for you at the end of it. It is different for every person so I cannot give exact descriptions but there will be something waiting for you on the other side. And then you will have to make a choice. Do you think you are ready?” she handed me the vial, looking at me with a stone cold expression. I hesitated a bit, but I knew I wanted to learn magic more than I wanted to do anything else in my life. I ripped open the vial, drinking this disgusting concoction that tasted like a sickening combination of rotten flesh, caviar and stale cheese. It took awhile before I felt anything change, dreading if maybe the potion had no effect on me, but then I started to notice a pressure coming from my stomach. This pressure slowly spread all over my skin feeling like it was about to ripped clean off of me. But that didn’t happen, the pressure growing more and more as I was ejected out of my body.
It was certainly strange seeing my own body, limp and lifeless without me, laying on the ground, a sheep licking my hand. My body’s hand, not mine. The sheep didn’t pay any attention to me, but Roxy certainly was.
“Feels strange, doesn’t it?” she inquired, looking at me with a sly grin.
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you can still see me. Yeah this honestly feels fucking weird, seeing my body like that as a ghost. Now I wonder what I look like as a soul.” I tried touching my arm, but my hand went through it like it was made out of nothing. It was only then that I noticed that I didn't feel any weight anymore.
“Since your body is modelled after your soul you look mostly the same, only that your soul has a greenish tint to it.” my mentor said, petting the sheep that was currently licking my body all over.
“So what now? Do I have to do something or do I have to wait for something?”
“Oh you are going to have to wait until you are sucked into the deities realm, shouldn’t take-” Roxy started to explain before I felt myself dragged out of her house, going up into the sky at a rapid pace. I was going further and further upwards, at some point leaving Earth as I was pulled back into the dark void that I have dreamt about for such a long time. The Stairwell greeted me, and somewhere far on top of it was… A large, red mansion. I guessed that was my goal.
It took ages to get up the stairwell, my sense of time and scale going out the window as I finally reached my destination. The front door of the large mansion that awaited me on the other side of this FUCKING STUPIDLY LONG STAIRWELL. There was a part of me that felt lucky that I wasn’t in my human body for this whole thing, or else I would have given up a quarter of the way through. And when I tried to look back at just how big the stairwell was it was… gone.
“Good riddance.” I muttered to myself, knocking on the giant, golden door that was adorned with roses and this colored glass you see at catholic churches. Gods like to be pompous I suppose. It didn’t seem like anybody answered, and seeing no doorbell I turned the doorknob and went inside. The first thing that caught my eye was the passed off person lying on the carpet in the middle of the huge lobby. They had the head of a stag and their skin seemed to glow green underneath their torn tuxedo.
“Hey are you okay?” I asked him, poking them in hopes of getting a reaction out of them. But they seemed to be far too deep in their slumber. I looked around, looking for something to guide me through the house but there was nothing, no signs, no sounds, nothing I could get any information out of. After thinking about it for a while I decided to first go through the rooms in the ground floor, then see what awaited me upstairs. I opened the first door on the right of me, and found.
An entirely white room, nearly void of anything other than a couch with two people sitting on it who were holding some controllers, with a TV that was powered by god knows what, and a console that I couldn’t say I recognized. The two people that were sitting in the middle of the ‘room’ seemed to have noticed me, the larger person pausing the game which seemed to upset the tinier one a lot.
“Oi Miss! Who sent you up here to us?” the larger person screamed at me from the far side of the room.
“Roxy sent me! I need to pick a patron so I can use magic!” I shouted back from the door, hoping I was loud enough for him to hear me.
“AHHHHHHH ROXY’S GAL! C’MERE AND LET US INTRODUCE OURSELVES!” they said, waving me closer. I practically sprinted across the room, finally getting a closer look at the two of them. The larger one was a lady probably a head taller than me, wearing practically nothing but a pair of laced panties to hide her lower region. She was if I was going to be honest a very hot, curvy lady with a bit of chub and curly red hair in which she had a little ace of hearts clip in. The tiny person was a man with mind boggling amounts of muscle, wearing a crop top far too tight for him and sweatpants. There was a red string tied around his neck.
“Welcome mortal! Sorry for how it looks here right now usually we would have prepared a teeny bit at least but Roxy, that wonderful lass, never let us know in advance if one of ye are coming up to us. I am Musarai, you may also know me as Lady Luck, Fortuna, Tyche or all the other fancy names I got over human history. The lad right next to me that isn’t givin’ me the time of day is Arestrium, the god of fate, who is a bit pouty that he didn’t see you comin’. And from how you looked at me I can say that you will have more luck talking to me sweetheart.” I blushed a bit, sitting down next to Musaria.
“So can I just ask how this whole thing is supposed to go? This is my first day as a witch and I don’t really know which deity I should pick, what I should look for in a patron deity and all that stuff. Do I need to sell my soul or anything like that?” I inquired, Musarai laughing gleefully.
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“Gosh that is so adorable. Patron deities all allow you access to magic but since we are all specialised in different things you get different benefits for choosing a specific deity. I for example would give ya a lot more help with magic that has to do with luck. Your potions wouldn’t be ruined as fast because you have a lot of luck, you would get lucky and find something you need exactly at the time you need it, stuff like that is where I am good at. Now Arestrium on the other hand would make sure that your magic worked as the future demands it, but that comes with the disadvantage that fate can be a cruel lil thing and mess up stuff for you in the long run. Look at me, I was supposed to be a lass like him! What a silly thought that is.” she giggled, teasing Arestrium who seemed to have a hard time keeping his mouth shut. “And if you want me as your patron goddess you simply have to say so, but I would first look around and see if you don’t find someone who is more suited for ya needs. Then it’s just a handshake and we are done, you got me in your head until you want me gone.” I nodded, getting up on my feet.
“Thanks miss Musarai. You were a huge help.”
“No problem sweetheart, happy to help. And if my guess is any good then you are going to have a lot more luck while exploring this weird house. Take care.” Musarai said, watching me leave the room with a big smile on her face.
Getting through this house was a nightmare. There were a lot of doors that simply lead to solid brick walls, architecture that would make M.C. Escher puke with how confusing it was and rooms that were simply devoid of anything but floor, carpet and walls. It was like a maze, me getting lost in here was a certainty. Thankfully after a while I heard voices in the distance.
“Maybe make them a little bit bigger? They look a bit too small for me my dearest.” said somebody to the right of me, the door leading to what I presumed to be their room was open just a little bit. I tried to get a peek inside through it, hoping to see what was going on in there. There was a naked lady looking at herself in the mirror, grabbing at her thighs while looking at another woman who held a staff in her hand, shooting out sparks of lighting. The lady looking at herself gasped with glee as her thighs got visibly thicker, the lady with the wand now pointing said wand at… me.
“Come in apprentice, may you watch me and my lover to see what we can offer you as your patron deities.” I came inside what looked like their bedroom, a black colored room with lots of reds, pinks and blues mixed everywhere in the decor. Their bed was practically a sea of pillows, plushies of cats strewn around everywhere. There was a large mirror just on the other side of the bed, in which the lady that has been transfigured looked over herself, pinching and grabbing every single bit of herself she could. She seemed happy with what she saw in the mirror, sitting down next to me and the lady in the dress.
“Should I look away from the naked lady or is it all okay?”
“Oh Florene enjoys being gazed upon. She wants to show the world who she looks like each and every single day, male, female, both or neither.” The lady in the red dress said, making Florene giggle.
“And what would your name be miss?” I asked.
“My name is Pevelies. We are the gods of positive change. Should you choose us as our patrons you would get better transfiguration as a benefit.” Pevelies said, pointing her wand at me.
“Perhaps you want to try it out yourself, look in the mirror and see for yourself.” Florene said with giddy excitement in her voice. I simply nodded, standing in front of the mirror and looking at myself. There wasn’t really anything about my body? Soul? That I wanted to change, but there was something I was dissatisfied with. My clothes were an eyesore to me, they were old baggy male clothes that barely fit my cute girly body. I concentrated on the clothes I wished I had on me, a long green skirt, black thigh highs with some sneakers, and a sheep hoodie. And just after I thought these clothes into existence they appeared on my body, fitting as perfectly as I imagined they would.
“Isn’t it amazing apprentice?” Pevelies asked, hugging Florene as she sat on her lap.
“It is wonderful! I love your offer very much but I would like to see everyone I could be patrons with but know that I am considering your offer a lot right now.” I blurted out, the two goddesses nodding.
“Very well. We hope you will choose us young apprentice, but even if not you will always be able to visit us after today. Farewell.”
“Farewell!!!!”
It took me a while to figure out where to go next, a loud rumbling above me answering the question. There were far too many staircases to count, leading in all sorts of weird directions. After a while I decided to ditch them entirely, hopping from staircase to staircase until I arrived at the floor I wanted to arrive at. It was far darker than in the floors I had been wandering about previously, the aesthetics of the mansion changing far more from gold and fluff to black and gothic. I followed the sounds of… things being slammed against each other into a big hall that was lit by a lot of UV lights that seemed to span the entire thing. There was a person in a suit standing in the corner not making any noises, the lady from my dreams, La Shay’ waving at me with what looked like…. Roxy at her side at a big dining table. Some burly man similar in appearance to a very old stone golem threw a chair at a lady with in metal arm. The lady was able to dodge, give the burly man a sucker punch and launch him wherever gods go when they are knocked out. La Shay’ and Roxy applauded.
“Where have you been Myra? You missed a very good performance by our newest friend here. Come sit down with is.”
The lady waved at me with her metallic arm which was dripping with the blood from the dude that had been attacking her. She was wearing a schoolgirl’s uniform if you made it punk rock and pink. She looked very cute. I walked towards them, sitting down next to Roxy, hoping that I wouldn’t blush at least this time now.
“So how has your journey been so far?” La Shay’ asked.
“It was pretty weird to say the least, met a lot of new people that are all very awesome and deciding with which patron deity to go is hard. Oh gosh I am sorry, hello I am Myra.” I said, stretching out my hand to the cutie with the sidecut that was just… fuck I am gay.
“Ukatala, I am pretty much the new girl here, nice to meet you Myra.” Ukatala said, shaking my hand with her human arm that was not dripping with blood and she was still nearly crushing it. “Goddess of Technomancy. It’s a new type of magic, so there is still a lot to be discovered. If you were my patron I could help you learn it very fast. But it’s totally your choice. Just saying.” she said, blushing a bit.
I leaned towards Roxy for a moment, whispering to her. “Please help me pick Roxy I am a gay lil’ idiot and most of these goddesses are cute ladies what should I do?” Roxy giggled, La Shay’ trying to not crack a smile while they looked at each other before looking back at me.
“That sadly is going to be your decision hun. Just go with your instinct. And no, you can’t pick La Shay’, she is taken. And also far too dangerous as a patron deity.”
“I am sorry, I am the goddess of rebirth so the blessing I gave you was to never die, but seeing you vanish into nothing would break my heart.”
“Gosh I love you so much you cute dork.” The two of them proceeded to kiss, me and Ukalata looking a bit awkwardly at it before looking more awkwardly at ourselves. Picking a patron deity will be hard but I had to make a choice.