Today, I received a visitor. It seemed he would come often from now on. I suppose that meant I'd start getting the feeling for daylight again.

We sat opposite of one another, the waiting glass punched with a few holes to allow his voice to come through. Yes, this was my child.

He never asked about me, however. Or rather, he asked without receiving an answer. This was our relationship.

"Mother."

I didn't need to reply.

"..why did you leave me alone?"

There didn't need to be an explanation. Wasn't it obvious? He hadn't remembered yet. I stared at him, apathetic. He should have realised by now. Absent-mindedly, I began looking about as there was something that needed to be studied in this small cube. There wasn’t.

"Why did you write that story?"

His voice cracked in an instant, and it became a little difficult to remain oblivious. Look forward. If I answered that question, would you be able to forgive me? No. I wasn't a good parent. So I could only console myself, and watch on neutrally. I was a murderer,after all. Behaving as such should be easier than anything else.

I already told you.

"No, you did it for my sake, right? But life became alot harder after that so.."

He kept on speaking. It'd be easy to believe I came to see him, then the other way around. His tie was a little scrunched up, and blazer loose. Did he switch schools again? There were a few letters about it. Of course, I figured it out by observing in-between lines. I had to, considering it was littered with curses. He kept fiddling with his trousers as if it would summon what he wanted to say.

"Why didn't you tell me anything? Even if it was just once!"

"I've already said so! Again, again and again..I've been reading again like you said. But I still haven't found anything different... "

He hadn't changed at all. I kept watching the scene developing in front of me. The glass pane made it look like a screen. My handcuffs felt a little tighter, as if squeezing my heart. It didn't matter.

"Did you know? Our relatives claimed all our assets. That's what they were fighting over after your murder came out."

It didn't matter.

This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.

"It was really painful. It felt like I could die. But when I thought about what you did..for us, I."

"I wanted to see you. For the first time in a long time. You don't need to tell any stories about your life now, just speak to me."

I kept on watching him. Maybe I wasn't as good at understanding him as I thought.

"Say I'm not alone, say that you had 'your reasons', say anything. Question me, talk to me.."

Then he stopped talking suddenly.

I waited, but the next sentence didn't come.

"Mother."

"..."

..it was unexpectedly eerie for a moment. The light formed a shadowy triangle, cutting across his cheek like he had been veiled from the world. Well, maybe it was so. That very lightly, he was able to be shielded due to this story. But in the end, I didn't need to speak out about it. It was a visit, not an interrogation after all. Therefore, I could only meet his gaze head on. And I assumed it'd remain like that.

"..if you continue being like this, I might end up hating you someday. Is it really that difficult to talk? It doesn't even need to be related."

His brows furrowed together cutting a sorry figure in the dark. But whether now or from way back then..

I still believed in the next I chose.

"It’s just like then. Even when you stabbed him.."

And would continue to do so.

He paused again, with it being quiet once more. He began studying my gaze diligently, as if we could communicate with just that. Then it was only the sound of his fast breathing that filled the room. Oh, this was..my eyes fell to the security camera. They'd probably arrive soon, wouldn't they?

Those guards can't have someone half dead on premises. It'd bring unnecessary attention.

On cue to my thoughts his chair clashed onto the floor.

Barely standing, he tried to support his weight with the ledge, pressing himself up to the glass in the process before giving up unceremoniously. This really was reality, wasn’t it? Everything became more pronounced to me. His trembling fingers, dull gaze and uncombed hair. Straining my ears, there was a faint mumbling. But I could no longer watch and was left with a wall.

A wall. A wall with my very own child. Ha.. I didn't think those piles and piles of grey slabs put together could be so frightening. I twitched for a moment before opening my mouth at last.

"Dokja."

I said to no one.

How could I console him? What would make him recall enough to justify reading again? I didn’t know. I couldn’t know. It was completely unknown, so I just said whatever I wanted. My hand fell comfortably on my uniform and smiled towards that wall.

I had to act believing—

There would always be my son on the other end.

"Mother loves you."

Then, there was a loud scream. Just like long ago.

That was his first visit and last time we talked about the past. Now, the world knew.

I was a killer.

That scream lingered in my mind. I don't think what I said was a terrible choice..

Well, the specifics didn't matter. It helped that dream come true. That he was able to live and grow up properly. Even when he becomes an adult, he wouldn’t remain in the shadow of his childhood..ah,wouldn't I be released?

I needed to review my sentencing. Turning around I left the cubicle behind, not staying around to hear their complaints and murmurs. It was towards my cell. Though just as the bars resounded in the corridor, I felt a scrutinising gaze.

“..is there something else here?”

The guard responded,twisting the keys in rhythm. His cap fell a little low,obscuring his expression.

“No. Our shifts are tight enough. And aside from inspections, who else would arrive in such a dreary place? You must be dreaming.”

Yes, that’s right.

This was our relationship from now on. And I would now read it again, again and again. Until he finds something different.