As soon as he’d stepped on the stair, Will’s entire world reoriented itself in a way that the stairway was suddenly beneath him, and the rest of the room rotated sideways.

The process was nauseating, but thankfully, very quick.

Ugh. I’m really glad it’s been ages since my last breakfast. Note to self: Close my eyes next time I do something like this. Speaking of breakfast though, shouldn’t I have been starving by now? I think it’s been at least forty-eight hours since my last stop at Kili’s. I’m also far less tired than I should be.

No revelation seemed to be coming, and Will filed one more piece of information under “The Weirdness of this Place”. It was a fairly large category, by that point.

Unlike the entrance to the last dungeon Will delved into, the stairway he’d found himself on was actually scaled for stubby wombat feet. Which basically made it a ramp, really. But it was still shaped like a stairway. And still covered by all sorts of flowering vines. The whole thing made for a really pleasant walk, and Will far preferred it to the annoyingly human sized stairs leading to Kili’s Root Cellar.

All good things must come to an end, however, and before long Will found himself walking out of the stairway and into a large garden.

It was about ten meters by ten meters, and surrounded by dense thicket. Raised plant beds filled most of the garden, leaving a narrow grass covered trail in the middle free. The trail led to a gap in the thicket fence, which Will assumed led to the next “room” of the dungeon.

As soon as Will stepped into the dungeon, a message popped up in front of him.

Dungeon Quest: Hole-y Mole-y, wombatman!

Sarlisa’s garden, source of two thirds of her alchemical ingredients, is under attack!

Moles, voles and a-holes are eating the precious plants, threatening to stop all potion making on the Board!

Slay 10 moles

Slay 10 voles

Slay the head A-hole.

Reward:

100 xp

A random selection of potions

Dismissing the message, Will took a look at the plant beds.

Will had to admit that had no idea which plants were growing in the beds. Which isn’t to say that they were strange, exotic, or the sort of weird fantasy plants that didn’t actually exist on Earth. They might have been, of course. Or they might have been the types of common herbs one would add to a cup of tea. Will really wasn’t much of an authority on plants. He was pretty sure none of them smelled like mint, but that was more or less the extent of his botanical expertise.

Some of them smelled good though, and Will may have nibbled on those a little bit. It has, after all, been a while since breakfast.

After a few strategic taste testings, however, Will decided it was time to actually start the dungeon, and moved towards the gap.

Beyond the thicket fence lay another dungeon “room”. It was about the same size as the first room, and had the same raised plant beds, with different, and equally unrecognizable, plants. The main differences between the two rooms were that this one had two exits. One directly in front of the entrance and another on the right “wall”.

Oh, and the very large animal that was munching on one of the plant beds.

The mole, and it definitely looked like a mole, was about a meter long and forty centimeters tall. It was covered in black fur and had long sharp claws, which put Will’s own respectable diggers to shame. It was also carrying a very large mallet in its right paw. A mallet with a bright red head.

The type of mallet, in fact, which one would very often find in a game of…

Really? That’s the direction you’re going with this?

In retrospect, Will mused, it might have been better to remain quiet and attack.

As soon as Will spoke, the mole jumped into the ground and vanished. It reappeared a couple of seconds later, popping up from a hole in the ground behind Will. A hole which Will swore wasn’t actually there earlier.

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

And having popped up like a weasel being chased by a monkey, the mole went ahead and wacked Will with its mallet, only to jump back into its hole and vanish.

Leaving behind no trace of its presence. Not even the hole.

And of course, with Will looking behind him at where a hole in the ground should have been, the mole popped up behind him again. This time, however, Will was at least aware of the possibility, and the mole as hit by a Thunder Burst before it could bring its maul to bear. Or before it could bring its maul to wombat, as the case may be.

Thrown away from its hole by the skill’s knockback effect, the mole couldn’t pop back into the ground as easily, and found itself at a distinct disadvantage when facing an irate wombat above ground. The fight was over very quickly after that, with Will the undisputed winner.

Albeit, a winner with an aching back, where the mole wacked him.

Wack-a-mole slain!

Gained 10 XP

In Soviet Russia, mole wacks you!

Wow. “In Soviet Russia” jokes. So very funny.

Grumbling aside, Will went to use Harvest on the dead mole, getting a Wack-a-mole Pelt as his reward.

With the first of ten moles down, Will took the trail leading to his right, and moved to the next room.

The third room in the dungeon was similar to the first two, except that this one only had one exit, and it was to the right of the entrance. There weren’t any visible enemies when Will walked in, but after Will’s experience with the Potantos, he knew better than to assume that the room was really empty.

Walking carefully along the path, Will saw a blue glow around one of the plants in a bed to his left.

Yeah, and I’m guessing that as soon as I start to Harvest it, something will attack me from behind, right?

Refusing to fall for the very obvious trap, the wombat searched the surrounding plant beds for the enemy he assumed was hiding there.

Which, naturally, meant that when the attack came, it came from the plant bed farthest away from where he was looking.

Will felt to small pricks in his behind, followed immediately by a really nasty electric shock. Fortunately, if the attack had a chance to stun him, the chance didn’t proc, and Will was able to spin around and find his attacker.

A small yellow rodent was standing on one of the plant beds, a pair of copper wires leading from its paws to Will. While Will was watching the rodent, it chittered at him, and he was hit by another shock.

Not waiting for the third, Will grabbed the wires and pulled, yanking the rodent closer to him, and slashing at it with the claws of his other hand.

He got a third shock when he touched the monster, but one hit seemed to be enough to slay the fragile beast.

Vole-T slain!

Gained 10 XP

Don’t tase me bro!

What the hell is up with these messages? I don’t remember getting flavor text on kill messages before. Also, Vole-T? Really? That’s an even worse name than the Wack-a-mole!

Complaints or no complaints, Will still went and Harvested the Vole-T, getting a Coil of Vole-T Wires for his trouble. With the room presumably cleared, Will went on to Harvest the glowing flower bed, adding some Fulmigating Foxglove to his pile of loot. Whatever the hell “fulmigating” meant. Possibly a combination of “fulminating” and “fumigating”, but Will really had no way to know.

Not really caring if it was or wasn’t a real word, Will took the path to the next room. The fourth room was identical to the third, with another right turn. Will had no time to wonder about how the room could lead back to the entrance, considering the fact that the entrance didn’t actually have an opening on that side.

He was too busy dodging the missiles fired at him by a slingshot carrying mole.

This one was as large as the first one Will killed, but had dark green fur. And instead of popping out of a hole in the ground behind Will and wacking him, it popped out of a hole in the ground in completely random spots and peppering him with what looked, at first glance, like small brown stones.

The whole process of pop up, operate slingshot, pop back down took a couple of seconds to accomplish, and once Will knew what to expect, he didn’t find it very hard to shoot the mole with a Thunder Bolt whenever it popped up.

The mole didn’t last long after that, and Will received another of victory message.

Guac-a-mole slain!

Gained 10 XP

And it doesn’t even have any lime!

Already knowing what he would find, Will looked at one of the “stones” he’d been pelted by.

Yup. Avocado pit. Because of course it is.

Will Harvested the dead Guac-a-mole and looted some guacamole, because what else would you loot from it?

Groaning at whoever designed the dungeon, the wombat moved to the next room. Which was most definitely not the exit, even though it couldn’t possibly be anything else.

What it was was a dead end. The trail leading into the room went on until the middle, and then just stopped, with the rest of the room filled with plant beds.

There was, once again, no visible enemy in the room, which Will assumed meant another vole. Whether it was the same kind as the last one or something new, he had no idea.

Will got the answer to that question when he reached the end of the trail. A vole wearing black robes and carrying a staff with a tiny skull at its end popped up into view in front of him, and started to speak in a language that sounded very much like Russian.

Which, of course, meant that Will didn’t understand even a single word.

Angry at not getting a response, the vole pointed his staff at Will, and bright red beams of light shot out of the skull’s eyes to hit Will. When the beams hit his armor, the metal heated up to an uncomfortable level. Will could actually feel his fur burning underneath the armor.

Not wasting any more time, Will fired a pair of Thunder Bolts, and followed up with his claws. This vole didn’t seem to be any more resilient than the Vole-T, and Will was, once again, victorious.

Vole-V slain!

Gained 10 XP

Don’t praise me, bro!

I have absolutely no idea what any of that means. It’s managed to get me curious though. Which is going to bug me. Great.

Harvesting the Vole-V yielded something called “Vole-V Grace”. Which looked like a small ball of black light. Will still had no idea what that particular enemy was supposed to be.

Resigned to not knowing, the wombat retraced his path back to the first room and the split trail, ready to start checking out the second branch.