"You know I still remember the second night that we came here and this table was taken by some third-rate adventurers who looked like they were pretending to be cavemen. We were tired out of our minds and so we leaned against the wall trying to catch our breath before we went elsewhere and the first thing I saw after opening my eyes was you standing over them after they had been knocked unconscious."

"There was no way I was going to let them take our table on day two, think of what that could've done to our morale. Before we came around everyone believed in various superstitions, I was sure someone would see that moment as a bad omen."

"Yeah, that sounds like it could be true. You liberated those seats for our usage because of your noble soul, you have many lessons to give to the world, no, to me. Have you ever considered taking me on as your apprentice?"

"First of all, I'd love to have authority over you, I'm sure being able to order you around would make my life complete. Second, while saving the good people of Rhinrhead from us stumbling around trying to find a place to sleep and ensuring our party stayed together was my first priority, I of course couldn't ignore that I stood to gain a seat at this inn along with food and drink. I'm not naive."

"Right, well I'll travel over to the village of 'Rhinrhead' and tell them all about your good deeds."

"What are you talking about, we're here right now."

"We're in Rheadrith, how drunk could you have possibly gotten?"

"That's an extraordinarily stupid village name, who agreed to this?"

"You personally told the chief of the Melantian Consulate to keep the name when they wanted to change it because of some newly appointed Marquis."

"Well, the clear answer here is that I was sober when I told him to do that, now I'm drunk and I think that version of myself could not be more idiotic."

"You and me both."

"Hey, don't be rude to sober me! They're not evil they just don't have any sympathy for the drunk. You know that's what I think this world needs."

"Evil?"

"No. What? Why would the world need more evil?"

"I don't know, you just told me to not be mean to 'sober you' and that they were evil."

"I said that sober me wasn't evil, how drunk are you?"

"We might both be beyond saving."

"Anyways! Back to what I was saying. This world needs more sympathy for the drunk. Imagine how many drunkards are just going about their day and then get publicly shamed for mispronouncing Rhinrhead."

"Rheadrith."

"Rheadrith, right. There, I just did it again! That means the same poor drunkard I was talking about has probably done it twenty times by now!"

"This is an astounding mathematical philosophy lecture."

"I don't think mathematical philosophy is even a real cla-"

She leaned over and puked into the bucket lying down beside my seat instead of hers. Her bucket was practically overflowing while mine was nearly empty.

"God, it never gets better. I think that's an actual omen."

Her drunken happiness had escaped her voice, and with her unfortunate route of sobering came her calculated demeanor, the environment seemed as if it was no longer one between friends but some sort of meeting between acquaintances deciding their next step. Usually, even when she was sober she didn't maintain any sort of guise around me, she would express herself as she saw fit and she didn't feel the need to keep some mask of professionalism. Any time she acted like this around me we were either with company who she wouldn't show an ounce of vulnerability to, or she was going to break some news that would require some detachment from the conversation ahead.

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"Talking about lectures reminds me of something I've been meaning to speak with you about. If you need to sober up I ask that you do so now."

"I never get so drunk I can't put my memory together in the morning."

I immediately saw a look I could only describe as disdain. Was she angry with me because I wasn't drinking as much as she was? How is that fair? You can't force somebody to degrade their mental state. What reason would she even have for being upset? Does she see my refusal to get ridiculously drunk as some sort of lack of trust? I mean I don't ever put myself in a situation like that on purpose, but that's not because I don't trust her, it's because I don't know what could happen. I don't trust that the entire night will go on without any incident that would need me to be at least conscious. I was so put off by this initial glance of hers that I wasn't paying attention to whatever she had said. I snapped out of whatever drunken facade I was portraying, or rather I was snapped out of it by this unordinary change in attitude.

"Hey, are you listening?"

I had to think of something quick. What would my excuse be? I couldn't just tell her that I was upset that she was upset with me, what if I misinterpreted her glance?

"Sorry, the smell of vomit is quite distracting. Can I dump the buckets outside?"

"Sure. I don't think this is the type of conversation to have in the stench of vomit anyways."

I picked up both buckets and walked to the door. I noticed that the innkeeper was gone, I assume he left sometime while we were becoming more unruly so he wouldn't have to deal with our antics well into the night. Luckily she was bothered by the vomit as well, otherwise I'm sure she'd be talking my ear off about how irresponsible I was as a person, and how my inability to listen at that moment was nothing if not indicative of the reason everything in my life has never gone in my direction. I returned inside to find her sitting in her original seat across the table. God, she's either about to tell me that everyone I know is dead or that I should die. Neither seems like what I want to get out of a luckily revitalized retirement party. I took a seat where I was originally and prepared for another argument.

"I really am sorry about that, I feel like I was going to throw up again if I didn't do something about that smell."

"It's fine. Listen, what I'm about to propose to you is not a joke, it's not some ploy, some rouse, this is a legitimate offer and I think it might provide the solution you're looking for."

"The solution for what?"

"The solution for what you are to do after tonight, after our retirement."

"Well under normal circumstances I'd say no immediately just to spite you but these are trying times. What is it that you have in mind?"

"Over the past three months, I've met with every member of our former party except for you asking them if they'd like to be included in a project I've planned since my early days at the run-down academy of Naelryd. You see when I was there-"

"I don't need the life story, Alena. You know that I trust in your proposals and you also know that no amount of context will change my opinion on those proposals."

"Right. I want you to come and work as a professor for an academy that I'm planning to found in five years time. In that time, you and a few others will search the world for potential candidates, people who you believe can have bright futures under our guidance. Once we have found one hundred possible students who have agreed to join the academy when it opens we'll spend the remaining time developing our curriculum, ensuring that the academy has all the resources it needs, all and whatnot."

"Let's start with the most important questions, who are these 'others' that will be with me? Who else from my party have you gotten to agree to this?"

"Klein and Ryoma have both agreed to work with me, I haven't received any final answers from any of the other members."

Great, so the gambling addict and the embodiment of naivete.

"Great, so the gambling addict and the embodiment of naivete."

Why the hell did I say that?

"Well, I suppose it was worth a try. Goodnight."

She got up from her chair and swiftly made her way to the door. What? Why was she just walking away? Sure, maybe that comment was a bit out of line, but she's just going to revoke the opportunity she seemed intent on me accepting? Wait, did she even intend for me to accept? Was she trying to bait me into giving some response, saying even a single word that would allow her to drop me as a possible professor? I've only ever seen her act this way towards nobles whose egos ruin every interaction they have with people. The kind of people who see the world as something for them to take, the ones who always want to get something out of every conversation. Why in the hell would she ever act this way towards me? What did I do? What could I have possibly done? My confusion and fleeting anger that stemmed from this seemingly planned rejection manifested in the worst possible response to this situation.

"What are you walking away for, trying to masquerade as your parents? I didn't know you wanted to leave something you thought was useless behind."

She stopped right before opening the door and slowly turned to me. I expected some pitiful stare, some display of the self-righteousness I knew her well for. What I saw instead was a representation of rage I would think was only possible through a blood-curdling scream. It was as though the message "you're screwed" reverberated throughout my soon-to-be corpse with every step she took in my direction.

As she was slowly walking towards me, I thought to myself.

Why would I ever say such a thing to someone who I was prepared to have a whole life with?