I got through the entire day without a single teacher getting mad at me. None of them raised their voices, and for the first time, I got something to eat that I actually liked. I did end up going back to Miss Daoust after Zaehval, but she still couldn't make me understand what she was talking about.
She did seem very happy that I showed up though.
There had to be someone pulling their strings here, someone who was forcing them to act nicely to me. It didn't make sense. A month away is all it takes for them to like me again? Forget "again," did they ever like me to begin with?
Mister Savard was always nice to me, but the rest of them acted like I was some bug eating the plants in their garden.
I ran all the way from the school back to the orphanage. On my way there, I went into the town and decided to spend some time walking around.
I've never just been able to spend my time how I want to, I was always doing what Elle wanted.
The sun was about to set, and so people were rushing around with food and other things that they had gotten. I just stood in one spot while people ran like they would die if they walked around me, and waited for them to get back to their homes. After a bit of just standing still and trying not to get trampled, I was able to watch the sun go down under the houses in front of me.
The middle of the town had a statue of Lieutenant Bainard that had turned a light shade of blue. I hope that the cleaners come back some time in this century. Miss Larche told me that nobody from any major city came to the small town of Articulago. Reynold was here though, he always bragged about how he used to live in the palace of Arten.
Maybe he wasn't as great as he talked about. I didn't end up talking to him at all today, actually. He must have made fun of me at some point, but I didn't hear anything. I didn't hear the usual laughing, I didn't even hear him say anything.
Today was weird. I didn't know how to tell anyone. If I told the teachers, they'd probably just say that I'm thinking too hard. If I told Miss Larche, she'd say the same thing. Well, she is a teacher.
After the sun went down and the sky turned dark blue I ran back to the hill the orphanage was on. I was running so fast that I dropped the quill Miss Daoust had given me somewhere in the grass. I didn't have time to go back and get it, I'd probably find it on my way out tomorrow.
As soon as I got to the orphanage, I needed to keep my eyes off of her room. I was prepared to sprint straight to my room and slam the door shut. I couldn't resist, and I quickly looked into Elle's room. She was there, sitting on her bed.
Right when she saw me, she immediately got up and tried to run into my room. I got there first and slammed the door on her. I heard a loud bang as I slammed the door. Did I hit her?
I didn't hear her say anything, or any cries or adults rushing down the hallway so I'm pretty sure she's fine.
"Come on, I spend a whole day away from you and you're still acting like this?"
She didn't have any reason to be annoyed. She was the one who acted this way. If she just stopped acting like this maybe I would talk to her, but she didn't want to change. She wanted to explain why she was right.
"You're the one who said I was acting unfair. What, have you changed your mind?"
"What is with you? I can never tell what's going on. One day you're not letting me in your room, the next we're crying on each other's shoulders, and now you're mad at me and I don't even know why!"
"I told you why. You just didn't want to listen."
"I did listen! I listened as you told me that caring for you is "acting like an adult," well what am I supposed to do? Do you want me to be like Reynold?"
"You know I don't want you to be like Reynold, but you've always been like this."
"Like what? You keep on saying that you're mad at what I'm doing but you haven't even told me what I did that made you mad!"
"You want to control me! And don't you dare say that you don't, because I know that it's true. You know what I did today? I just walked around. I answered questions in class. The teachers liked me. Reynold didn't say a SINGLE THING. I had some time to myself, I got to walk around the town."
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"I can't believe you."
"No, I can't believe you! The entire time I was here I thought that this was just another bad time caused by me, another town that I'll have to move away from because my mom died or whatever other excuse I use, but it was YOU!"
"Celio, stop!"
Her voice was changing, she sounded like she was about to cry.
"No! I could have had other friends, Elle. I could be at a dinner table with other families, maybe sharing a meal with one of the teachers! Every single part of my day that is horrible was NOWHERE to be found when you weren't THERE!"
"Celio, I-"
If I continued to scream, someone else would hear.
"Why did you do it? Why did you decide that I had to be the person who would do everything you asked of them?"
"I don't know what you're talking about-"
She was probably crying at this point. My ears were ringing and I felt light in the head, but I knew it from her voice.
"What about Reynold? You know what's funny about him not saying anything to me, it made me wonder. Why would he lay back when you're not there? You know what adults say? They say that when a boy does mean things to you, it means that he likes you. Y'know cause he's trying to get your attention and all."
"Please, please. Please stop."
"Why didn't you go for him, Elle? A noble, someone who always gets to eat food cooked by Chef Lince. Seems like a good way to live an easy life."
She couldn't respond anymore. She was just crying on the other side of the door, and I didn't hear any footsteps or noises on the door.
"I wish that what I saw wasn't a nightmare. I wish that I hadn't opened that door when you started to walk away."
Now I heard footsteps. They were soft, and they had this weird connection, like every single step was forced to be a certain way. It was Miss Larche.
"Go on now, back to your room, Elle."
I heard her run into her room, but she didn't slam her door. Well, who would with Miss Larche right there?
"Is there anything you would like to tell me, Celio?"
"No, Miss Larche?"
"Are you sure? Someone who you would call your friend has been left outside your door crying yet again-"
"No, I wouldn't."
"Beg your pardon?"
"I would not call Elle my friend, Miss Larche."
She paused for a second and sighed before speaking again.
"I see. Please get to bed, Celio."
"I will, Miss Larche."
I had nothing else to do. I closed my window and wrapped myself in my sheet. I tried to go to sleep, and so I just laid there staring into my closed eyes.
I heard a knock on the door after a while, had Miss Larche come back? She was probably going to talk to me about Elle, but I already knew what I would say. Even if she tried her hardest to convince me that I should be friends with her, at the end of the day she couldn't force me to do anything I didn't want to.
"Who is it?"
"It's me."
It was Elle. She didn't sound like she was crying anymore, and it was probably the middle of the night so she wouldn't make a lot of noise. I opened the door to find her with a candle and in clothes that I had never seen her wear before. It was a pink gown with some padded white thing near her neck, and it seemed like the string there held up the entire thing.
"Why are you here?"
She walked into my room and placed the candle on my bed.
"I wanted to say that I'm sorry for how I've been acting."
That was quick. So she admits that she was acting the whole time? I'm glad that she's telling me the truth but I can't just forgive her.
"Well, thank you for telling me the truth. We can have this talk tomorrow, but it's too late right now."
Before I could motion for her to go back to her room, she pulled at the string by her neck, and her entire gown came off. I wanted to scream but I knew if I did the adults would come running. They would blame me first. Did she plan this?
"What are you doing?"
I whispered as loud as I could.
"I love you, Celio."
"I don't think you had to take off your clothes to tell me that!"
She blew out the candle and then jumped onto me, pushing me onto the bed.
"What the- what are you- get off me!"
"Don't you love me, Celio?"
"Get off!"
I was touching way more of her than I ever wanted to. I felt disgusting, like I was taking a bath in someone's blood. Even if I swam in the rivers of Aerdal for a day I wouldn't be able to get rid of this feeling. Why couldn't I move? She was never stronger than me, how was she able to pin me down?
"I want you to love me, Celio."
"Stop saying my name! I don't know why you're doing this but this isn't making me like you any more! Get off of me!"
"Just relax, Celio. Let me love you, let me treat you how I wish you would treat me."
I struggled as much as I could. I kicked her, I tried to move my hands that she was holding down on my bed. I tried to move my chest. I couldn't do anything. I turned my head to the side when she tried to kiss me.
What would I do? I needed to do something. I hated this. I hated everything about this. Why was she doing this? My ears started to ring again. I couldn't even feel what she was doing anymore.
It felt like I was drowning. I kept trying to get above the water just to be pushed back down again. Swim up, pushed down. Swim up again, pushed down again. I don't care if they hear. I don't care if she gets hurt. I need to breathe. I need to breathe!
When I opened my eyes again, I could move.
She wasn't on top of me, and I got off the bed as fast as I could in case she tried to jump on me again. The candle wasn't lit anymore, but the moon was shining through the window just enough so I could see her.
She was in the corner of my room, and I could barely see her but I could tell that she was bleeding. I heard the blood hit the floor.
They were going to come running, they would definitely come and punish me.
I looked out the door, but I couldn't see anything. The moon was lighting up my entire room, but everything past that was pitch black.
I looked back at Elle and saw that she was standing up. Before I could speak she stretched her arm out in front of her and pointed down.
"Well, I tried."
Before I could scream, I had sunk into the floor.