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Mania: The Beginning of All
Premonition, Premature?

Premonition, Premature?

"Celio, how long are you going to stay in there? It's been a month!"

Her voice was unbearable, it felt like I shouldn't be hearing it. I didn't deserve to have her trying to force me out of my room, I didn't deserve whatever meal she had brought with her.

"I really am sorry for cutting a tomato open over your head, I didn't know that the rumors about it giving people nightmares would be true!"

Why was she saying sorry? It wasn't her fault. It wasn't her fault that I couldn't do anything to the Chidle King. It wasn't her fault that I got injured and forced her to help me just so I could walk. It wasn't her fault that I ended up running away, being unable to even fight back against the beast that had torn her to shreds. How could it all have been a nightmare? Spending hours walking through a forest that spread out everywhere, climbing up a hill that must be taller than any mountain on the continent, and seeing whatever that thing floating in the sky was. All of it? All of it was caused by her cutting a tomato open over my head? All of this, watching the life be ripped away from her as I laid on the ground unable to do anything. Watching her throw away her future just so she could use one of the most valuable things in the world to save someone who could barely throw a punch. It was something that she would do. That entire "nightmare" felt like something that happened. Something that could happen. Was I a prophet?

"Listen, I'm not going to go away this time! The principal has been walking into classes asking where you are, I heard him say that he was going to expel you. Reynold has come back, and those kids all went back to being close to him. If he says one more bad thing about you I'm going to hit him the same way you did, and then I'll get expelled."

"Why would they expel you for hitting him? I thought you told me that you heard them all talk about how much they hated him."

"I also told you that they talked about how they were being forced to not punish him, didn't I?"

She started to cry.

"Why don't you ever respond to me? Why are you only talking to me now? For the last month I've been knocking at your door every day, I've been trying to get you out of this room. Do you know how hard it's been, going to school every day and listening to him make you seem like a psycho? Every day I tell him that he's wrong and every day he asks me if you've come out of this room. Why are you only talking to me now that I mention getting expelled?"

She was hyperventilating and started to sniffle. Eventually, she must've tried to swallow while breathing in and she started coughing loudly. I was about to open the door when she stopped. I could hear her sucking down her spit through the door, I could feel the door shaking.

"Why do you only care about what happens to me? How long has it been since you've seen someone who isn't Miss Larche? Why are you just sitting there behind the door as people try to help you? Every single day I've gone home and prayed that you come out of this room. I've attended the rituals on the holy days, I've done everything! Everything, and you won't even open the door!"

She slammed her fists against the door a few times and tried to move the handle. The room was locked and I heard one final bang before what sounded like her sliding onto the floor.

"Is it me? Did I do something wrong? I won't ever force you to wake up again, you can sleep as much as you want. Just please, please come out! Let me see you, let me come into your room!"

She banged on the door another few times. I couldn't respond. I couldn't say a single thing. This was better for her. If she wasn't with me, then she wouldn't go into the forest. She would live a long life here in the village, go off, and do everything that she wanted. She would live. She wouldn't wander one day and save some rejected child who can never seem to stay in one place and who doesn't deserve anything. She wouldn't throw away her life for someone who ran away instead of even bothering to die with her, to die trying to save her. It's like taking candy away from a child. They will cry, they will slam their fists into doors, they will do everything to try and get the candy back but when they grow up, when they grow up they will realize that the candy wasn't good for them. They will realize that the candy is just some useless thing that everybody hates for a good reason. They will realize that nobody who has grown up ever likes the candy, how they always insult it, and make sure everyone else knows how bad the candy truly is.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"Do you hate me? Do you want me to just stop talking to you?"

No, that isn't it. I really do like you, Elle. Any selfish person would use you, they would keep you near them at all times and make sure that you spent every moment together. They would bring you to places that put you in danger, they would let you sacrifice yourself to save them. They don't like you, Elle. They don't get that liking someone means wanting what is best for them, they don't get that there are things, there are people that are more important than them. Nobody ever gets that. They always think that they are the most important ones and that the people around them are less important. They look at the kid who has to move to a new town every few months and look at him the same way that they look at an ant. You're smart, Elle. You know that I like you. You know that what I'm doing, I'm doing so you can stay alive. Maybe you can't think that it's true right now, but I think that you know what the truth is. I think you know that I'm just something you have to let go. Someone who you have to let walk away so you can make the right choice. I'm sorry that I have to be that person, I really am. Maybe I was born this way, born to be a disease to anybody who is near me. I can handle that, Elle, but I can't keep you around. I can't say any of this to you, because you don't think that you get it, but you will. You'll get it. You always do.

Her sobbing got quieter, and she took deep breaths before beginning to speak again, but you could still hear the tears in her voice.

"I don't have anyone else. I don't. You're the only person I know. After Arina went missing in the forest, I was alone. Do you know what it was like seeing you for the first time? I knew you were sad, I knew that you had lost someone too. I thought that you would be like Arina, only responding sometimes, never doing anything with me. Always went off by herself where nobody could see, but when you turned out to be like this I was happy. Every time I saw you I smiled, every time we did things together I thought about how maybe Arina would be happy that I had found a friend who could give me what I wanted. I don't know what to do, Celio. I really don't. If I can't talk to you anymore, what am I supposed to do? Should I go get lost in the first like Arina? Is that what you want me to do?"

After a few seconds of silence, I heard her get up. I heard her sleeve wipe the tears from her face.

"Fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

She started to walk away. I knew what she was going to do. I couldn't let her go back to the forest. Even if I let her die once, I couldn't let her go off by herself again. I couldn't stay away from her, I couldn't let her go. I don't have to forgive myself for killing her, maybe I never will. I'll have the priest talk about how my biggest regret was failing to keep her alive that day in the forest. I need her to stay. I need her to-

"Wait!"

I had swung the door open, and I stood there looking at her. She turned back toward me, and she was still crying. We stood there for a few seconds just looking at each other, staring into each other's eyes and thinking about what would happen next. Would she run away? Would I run to her? What was I going to say? How was I ever going to make her forgive me for locking myself away and not talking to her? How would I ever make it up to her for making her walk away from the only person that she knows, the only person who she can talk to for a month? I couldn't forgive myself, why would she forgive me?

She ran towards me and held her arms out as she jumped onto me. I got pushed backward until I tripped and fell back onto my bed. She was hugging me as tightly as she could, and before I could say anything I felt her kiss me, stopping me from saying anything. I felt her breathing on top of me, as she held on to me even tighter than before. I felt her tears drop onto my face and roll down my cheek onto my shirt. I heard the door close behind me as she continued to prevent me from speaking. I wrapped my arms around her back and hugged her as well, and we just laid there, forcing each other to breathe through our noses.

For the first time, I felt her. I understood her, I knew who she was more than I had ever known anyone.

I knew that I wanted her to live.

I knew that I wanted to live with her.