Chapter 11: Friends

Technically, we were supposed to discuss World War I in history class today, but we ended up talking about the current war instead. The war between humans and the AI. Magical girls against machines.

Shiquoth found this amusing.

“… So while humanity had been fighting a losing battle until then, the gods’ arrival, and the birth of magical girls, allowed us to turn things around. The AI wasn’t ready for the appearance of these magical soldiers and we were able to quickly push it out of every country around the world. Now it’s stuck in Antarctica, with any outpost it tries to establish being immediately crushed, and we have the advantage. We are definitely on the cusp of victory.”

The ignorant speaks of this lightly. Your enemy has adapted to our presence. It resides in the furthest reaches of the planet. It has constructed an impenetrable fortress. It remains on the offensive. You will not destroy it any time soon.

The god watched me with a sparkle in my eye as it said this. It did not need to sound so happy about our struggle. It certainly neither needed to comment on everything that was said around me nor did it need to risk my identity by keeping my disgusting eye open. It felt strange for the previously reserved god to suddenly be so chatty, but I could only guess this was done intentionally to distress me.

One of the boys in class raised his hand, and the teacher called on him.

“Yes, Justin?”

“How come the gods only pick girls to fight?”

There were a few murmurs throughout the room. It was something everyone wondered but rarely dared to ask.

“Good question. Nobody knows for sure, but there are many theories going around. Normally, you would expect grown men to be the ones fighting, so there must be some benefit to using young women. The leading idea right now is that girls must have a natural inclination towards magic, something that clearly exists yet remains a mystery. Historically, we know that women are usually the ones reported to have magical powers; often referred to as witches, records dating back as far as…”

It is our whim.

It seems the answer was much less complex than Mrs. O'Reilly’s outdated theory. I tuned out the rest of her monologue as I sat back and watched the clock on the wall tick down. I could feel my stomach emptying itself further every second and I was dreading the end of class. Next would be lunch, and I still had no idea what to do about it.

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I found myself standing outside the cafeteria, unsure if I was going to enter or run away. Chloe would know if I avoided her, and it would hurt her, but having lunch together would be incredibly awkward after this morning. One minute, two minutes, four minutes, I just stood there watching other people head in to eat, my feet rooted in place. My stomach grumbled and I considered taking a step forward, but couldn’t quite put it into action. I was starting to get looks from everyone passing by; it made me want to crawl into a hole and disappear. I didn’t have anywhere to hide though. And Chloe was waiting for me; I couldn’t just stand here forever.

“The hell are you doing?”

I whipped around to find Jessica standing behind me.

“Nothing- nothing, I was just, uh… heading in…”

“Then hurry up” she commanded. “I don’t know what your deal is, but you’re not the only one with problems, so get your crap sorted and quit acting gross.”

And with that, she shoved past me and into the cafeteria. I was mortified. She thought I was gross. I was being too obvious with things and sticking out. Actually, what did she know about my problems anyway? Hold on, no, I’d been through way too much lately and didn’t need her judging me relative to her pretty girl problems. She had no idea what I’ve been dealing with, and for that matter, neither did Chloe. What right do they have to say whatever they want about me? With that indignation in mind, I marched in and headed straight to the usual table.

Chloe was blankly eating her lunch, and hardly reacted when she noticed me heading over. I sat across from her like normal.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

And that was it for conversation. Was she going to say anything else? Press me for more? Apologize? Anything topic at all? No, she just silently chewed her food, so I moved to do the same. I pulled my sandwich out of my bag and looked at it; nothing fancy but I didn’t think I could stomach the whole thing right now. Would it be safe to touch, or should I go wash my hand before eating it? It already took a lot to get here, so I just ate with my left. Hopefully, Chloe’s excessive attentiveness wouldn’t pick up on this. The sandwich tasted like mush.

After I finished the first half, I packed the rest back up for later and Chloe finished her own lunch soon after. Then we sat in silence, looking towards each other but never at each other. We needed a topic and clearly she had nothing casual in mind. I wasn’t in the mood to chat, but sitting around and staring at the wall wasn’t much better. I wasn’t going to talk about myself though, so I cleared my throat and tried to put something else forward.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“… So, uh, how’s club going?”

An incredibly smooth delivery. She looked at me, seeming to light up a little.

“Oh! It’s going well. I’m still stuck backstage, of course, but once the seniors are gone I’ll finally have my chance in the spotlight. You’d be shocked to see how much work goes into getting the props together though. Like, just yesterday I was working on…”

I half zoned out and nodded along as she talked. Occasionally I would prod her for more information, but I honestly didn’t have it in me care what she’s been up to; I had too much else on my mind. I was just glad the topic today wasn’t magical girls again. I did want to know what she thought about the girl on the news this morning, if she also thought something was off, but that wasn’t a conversation I was willing to broach. There was too much risk.

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Lunch had been stressful, but I managed to get through it safely. After that, I apologized to my Spanish teacher for what happened yesterday. I didn’t explain and she didn’t ask. I got a number of looks throughout class though, out of concern, curiosity, or even mockery, and all of them made me want to vanish. But thankfully, next was study hall; finally a moment to spend alone.

I sat in the library staring at the worksheet in front of me. Pictures of trapezoids, rhombuses - rhombi? - and many other shapes with what might be angles were spread across it. Somehow, I was supposed to get numbers out of this, or sometimes letters. None of it made sense and I couldn’t focus anyway.

“Does any of this matter for being a magical girl?”

The eye looked up at me.

Obviously not.

That settled that. I put the blank paper away and dug through my bag for something else to pretend I was working on. I still wasn’t used to being watched by my own hand, nor to the fact that a separate entity was making use of my vision. I put my biology textbook on the table and quickly scanned the room again; nobody had been watching me. Jessica was still chatting with her friends about something, clearly not getting much work done. It didn’t seem like she had as many worries as she implied earlier. Her gaze turned in my direction and I quickly looked down. Did she notice me staring? Surely not, right? I opened the book to its middle and starting flipping through pages.

You pay particular attention to her. Explain.

So the god noticed. Of course it did. I blushed and tried to respond.

“It’s nothing. I’ve just, known her for a long time.”

And she humiliated you.

I didn’t respond, but the god must have been satisfied because it didn’t ask further. I tried reading the textbook, but it didn’t make much sense starting from the middle of a chapter. Not that I could focus on it anyway. The bright red flowers were nice though.

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It wasn’t until I got on the bus that I remembered the day wasn’t over. Normally, after school on Friday would be a relief, but right now each passing moment filled me with dread. My seat rattled as houses rolled by, but I just stared down at my hand. Thankfully, the god wasn’t forcing the eye open, but I would have to open it soon myself. I would have to become Ravensong again.

I considered any possible way I could escape this, but no option presented itself to me. I could hope that the bus would get a flat tire, but that would only delay the inevitable. It wasn’t even a likely occurrence. I considered asking Shiquoth directly to let me rest today, but I doubted the god would humor my plea. Rather, they would likely take pleasure in my desperation. Could I beg to Nightingale? I wasn’t sure I could even face her after last night. The hole in my guts only widened and deepened, and I felt like throwing up.

Before I could think of a plan, the bus arrived at my house and I stepped off into the cold. I didn’t have the willpower to move, but my legs automatically carried me to the front door. Jake followed, and I felt an overwhelming pressure to act normal. I slid my key into the lock and turned it until it loosened with a familiar thunk. I pressed down on the handle and pushed in, stepping with it into the house. I turned back to Jake, who quickly seemed annoyed that I was blocking the entrance.

“I’m, uh… heading to book club again today.”

Saying those words felt like the ground under me caved in. I was committed to this now. Jake eyed me for a moment, and then let out a sigh.

“Alright, I’ll let Mom and Dad know where you are when they’re back. Can I go in now?”

“Yeah, sorry, okay…”

I stepped out of the way, taking my shoes off and heading to the kitchen. I washed my hands, carefully trying to get soap near but not in my eye, and then dug out the rest of my sandwich from lunch. It did not go down easily, but I wasn’t in a rush; instead, I had too much time that I could only spend sitting and worrying. I watched the clock tick by. When was Nightingale supposed to be here? What time did she arrive before? I had no idea, and every minute ate away at me.

I was supposed to meet other magical girls today, right? What would they be like? I tried to picture one, someone pure, friendly, and beautiful, but the figure distorted in my head. Her clear skin would melt, her welcoming smile would twist, and her amber eyes burned through me. I only grew more terrified. I needed something to ground my thought.

“Lord Shiquoth, what can you tell me about the other magical girls?”

Do not concern yourself with heretics.

Then why was I training with them?! Weren’t we supposed to work together?

Before I could openly complain, I heard a knock on the front door and jumped. My heart pounded in my chest, in my throat, in my head. She was here. I forced myself to stand and walked down the hall, approaching the door. Despair waited on the other side, but I had to open it. I took careful steps forward, turned the lock, and opened the door. Standing in front of me was the girl known as Megan. Nightingale. Emotions I couldn’t register flashed across her face, and before I could speak she jumped forward and embraced me in a hug.

“Thank god. You’re really okay…”

She was shaking. I didn’t know if I should be touching her; after all, I was filthy. But then again, wasn’t she? I didn’t know. I had no idea if I should be escaping her grasp for my sake or for hers, let alone at all. But somehow, that felt comforting. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t alone. Here was just another girl, stuck in the same situation as me. Maybe I could talk to her after all.

“I’m sorry” I whispered.

She shook her head, and after another minute she pulled back. The cold from outside seeped back into me as we parted, and she looked me in the eye with a forced smile.

“Go grab your wand. You have training to do.”