It's the night before school starts and it appears that now I don't have a room to sleep in. I can't get into the room. Flara probably blocked the door. So here I am, sleeping in the school's tool shed. It's filled with gardening tools. It's dusty and the floor is dirty. I don't care, it's better than sleeping outside and I'm afraid about what would happen if I slept somewhere else in the school. My grandfather could be anywhere. Damn I hate this shit.

I'm laying on the dirt covered floor. I'm hugging the shovel for comfort. It's the only reliable thing  I've had this entire time. It might not have feelings but after shoveling a twenty foot tall mound of shit together it feels like a best friend. To be honest I can't even get angry anymore I'm just too tired. Anger is a tiring emotion. 

Time to sleep. I close my eyes and take in the smell of dirt and rusted metal. It says a lot when I'm more comfortable in a tool shed meant for gardening tools than inside the school itself. 

***

I woke up and it appears to be about 7:15 A.M., my internal clock must be running especially well. I get up, shovel in hand. I exit the tool shed. The campus is fairly empty. Some people are loitering around and talking outside. Most people are probably just waking up and heading to the cafeteria for the free breakfast.

Some people are giving me weird looks. They probably saw me leave from the tool shed. Not to mention I'm covered in dirt and I subconsciously kept the shovel. I'm not even going to bother trying to get back into "my" bedroom because I feel that it will only bring trouble. So now my best friend, the shovel, and I are off to breakfast. On the way I passed several people to hear some interesting things.

"Is that him? The shit mage?"

"I heard he is a pervert?"

"I saw him entering the tool shed to sleep because he couldn't enter his room. All that idiot can ever be in his life is a farmer."

I heard whispers of all these sorts while walking. Most came to the agreement that I'm a farmer. Some people even called out to me with a smile on their faces. Some shook my hand like a childhood friend. Fuck them all.

"Yo Farmer what's up man!? Haha..."

"Hey look it's Farmer!"

"Hey Farmer I heard you like to let it all hang loose! Hahaha..."

"Hey Farmer got your trusty shovel?! Hahaha..."

"Hey Farmer the garden is that way!"

I grip my shovel. I want to bash their faces in. I want to kill them all. I can hear the poison in their words. Also, it seems someone made it their mission to spread the nickname because I haven't heard my real name once. 

I'm in the cafeteria. People are whispering when they see me walk in. I think my appearance is probably pissing them off. This is the best school in the country. These are all elites from high ranking noble houses. Then there is me who comes from one of the highest ranking noble families, yet I'm covered in dirt, my clothes are tattered, and I'm carrying a shovel. Looking at myself I can't help but think, why Farmer? Why not something cool like Gravedigger. 

*sigh~~~* I hate this. This world is shit. These people are shit. 

I grab some food and throw it on a tray before I begin to walk away. My shovel and I will be eating in the tool shed. Class starts at 8:15 so I'll just eat and then go there. I have Agricultural Study today. I'm seriously going to become a farmer aren't I? This is bullshit!

Shit! In my rage I accidentally tossed my breakfast. And plop, it landed on someone's head. Wait, it's redhead. Fuck. She is crying, I made her cry? 

"Why do you always to pick on me?!" She just ran out of the cafeteria all dramatic like. Wait, weren't you the one choking me yesterday. I realize I choked you but that was to keep you from doing something you would regret! Plus you locked me out of the room! Damn it! 

I feel my entire body go cold. Shit! Those stares are telling me, "you just made a girl cry you scum." I'm screwed. Time to run. I've been getting better at running lately.

***

My first class of year is Agricultural Study with Mr. Drames. He is a skinny older fellow. I think he is the first person not to give me a dirty look in a while. This class is in a large classroom with rows of seats going higher up than the chalkboard up front. I sit down in the front row closest to Mr. Drames. I still have my shovel but I just lay it down next to me. After seeing Mr. Drames' non-hostile expression I say with some respect, "Good morning Mr. Drames."

"Good morning Farmer." Fuck, even teachers are calling me that now?! It must be his doing! The image of an old devil just entered my mind.

I plant my face firmly on the desk. I wait for class to start.

*Ding* *Dong* *Ding~*

The bell just rang, signaling the start of class. I look around. There are about forty people and it explains something. The reason this course doesn't have levels is because not many take it. So about ten people per grade are in this class. There are four grades in this school. I just noticed that no one is sitting near me, whatever.

Mr. Drames begins a lecture. It's about soil conditions and how it can affect growth. I'm actually rather interested so I listen with a fair amount of effort. Perhaps I'm a natural born farmer? 

His lecture just ended. I look at the clock hanging on the wall. It says 11:35. It's been a little more than three hours but I listened intently the entire time. I find this class is surprisingly enjoyable. Is it because everything else is just so shitty that it makes class time the only time I can find solace? I don't know really. 

Class is over so Mr. Drames dismisses us. We have the rest of the day to ourselves but in all honesty I hate what is outside this classroom. So I walk up to Mr. Drames.

"Mr. Drames I have a question, it's about the effects of mana infusion in soil in relation to crop production..."

***

Mr. Drames and I had sat and talked over lunch, his treat, about agricultural. I really did find it interesting. I think Mr. Drames was happy to have finally met a student that shares his passion. He was smiling and talking with enthusiasm the entire time. Quite an interesting guy. I also appreciated the food that for once wasn't drugged. Plus I didn't eat breakfast this morning so it was doubly appreciated.

It's already time for dinner I'm heading there now. I can't say I'll enjoy it really. However my trusty shovel and I are on a mission to acquire sustenance! God, I'm becoming quite an odd individual. I think talking to Mr. Drames took quite the load off of my chest though. Talking to someone who won't try and beat me or accuse me of rape is rather refreshing.

***

I managed to sneak back into my bedroom and get my luggage. It's all now with me in the tool shed. I think this will be a long running arrangement. I'm really becoming a farmer... fuck.

Anyway, time to sleep. I feel safe with my trusty shovel by my side. 

***

I had my first anatomy class yesterday. It was fucking boring. Why? I don't know. Before coming here I thought I would hate agriculture study yet now I'm hating anatomy. I don't know what to think anymore really. 

I'm now off to my gardening class. This class is outside in the garden. I'm quite familiar considering I sleep next to all the gardening tools. The garden is like my front yard. 

The teacher for this class is Ms. Illomen. And holy shit, she is beautiful. She is probably only twenty years old and curvy too. I shake my head. She is already giving me nasty looks. Most of this class is comprised of girls. They all probably have some sort of magic having to do with plants or flowers. That also means that they all think I'm a pervert and their magic could easily beat the shit out of me.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

We were just assigned small plots of land within the garden. This will be my section of garden to take care of. Of course they gave me a section infested with bugs and all of the flowers are dying... but I guess it will be ok right? Right? Right!? Fuck them and their pretty little flowers! Curse their cute faces and nasty temper! Fuck! 

I just started completely plowing over and squashing all the flowers in my small plot of land. I'm literally stomping on flowers and laughing like a madman! This is fun! Fuck them all!

I reduced my plot to simple dirt. I dug up and trampled all the flowers. I'm sure they will give nutrition to the soil. Soil... that's right. I just remembered my talk with Mr. Drames.

Although I can't do something immediate I think I can outgrow all of these young ladies! Hehehe...

I start by layering mana over my hands. The mana imploded several times. It flung dirt all over the place. I just got some ugly looks but I don't care. Let them eat shit damn it! This reminds me of my magic. It's different really. All I'm doing is taking mana from the world and funneling it into the dirt. It's rather simple, not even a spell. Spells are immediate. This will take a lot of time to show its effects. How long I really don't know. 

After funneling mana into the dirt until my back ached I pick up my shovel. I use my shovel like a flag, I shove it into the dirt like I'm claiming new territory. In the heat of the moment I shout out, "This will be my farm god damn it!"

I got some sideways glances and chuckles but I don't care if I make a fool of myself. I finally decided that I will become a farmer! Let them call me Farmer all they want damn it! 

***

I was working on my "farm" so long I missed dinner. I slept in my "farmhouse" as people have been calling it now. I just woke up and I think I'm going to die today. Today is battle mage training. Fuck, I'm going to be slaughtered. 

***

I arrived at the small arena that is the "classroom" for my battle mage class. It's a wide hole in the ground about fifteen feet deep. The teacher is... my grandfather. We are all standing in front of the hole. There has to be at least a hundred people here. 

"Ok everyone! I'm sure you all already know me but I'm headmaster Mangantaire! Today is our first day and there are exactly one-hundred of you here so let start with a friendly tournament! We will establish a ranking system for this class!" Shit, the old man's scheming again!

"I will decide the ranking after each fight based on your performance! You only need to fight once, so we will have fifty matches!" What is he planning?

"I will have one person walk up and ask that a challenger fight them. Simple." He has a devious smile, I'm scared. 

The fights are starting. These people are monsters. Most already mastered their first spell so they don't even need incantations. They also all have crazy powerful magic. I'm currently watching a fight and I can't help but get excited like everyone else. I mean seriously, these people are monsters!

The two fighting right now are a mechanical mage and a botanical mage so it is rather amusing. The mechanical mage's first spell allows him to conjure up any mechanical contraption he can think of and understand in its entirety, it also can't be any larger than himself it seems. 

He conjured up some sort of repeating crossbow. It is constantly raining down arrows on the botanical mage. However, the botanical mage just grew an entire tree to block the rain of arrows. It seems he can grow any plant he has seen before but it turns to dust after a certain time.

They keep going back and forth. The botanical mage will try to bind the mechanical mage but the mechanical mage will create something in his mind to take care of any problem. A formidable fellow, his magic is knowledge based. Scary.

Gramps gave them the signal to stop. "Would Flara Andrane please enter the field." Fuck, why is she here?! I must fade into the crowd... crap.

It's too late my body is moving on its own... blood magic. This is my grandfather's doing! I can't resist his control. Damn it! At least I have my trusty shovel. 

"Looks like Farmer is your challenger Flara." He just  said that with pure unadulterated amusement pouring off of his words. Fuck I'm going to die! She has fire magic but I have shit! Is this even a contest anymore?!

I'm now standing in front of Flara in the damned hole that will be my grave. Then I realize something and shout, "I concede!" I see Flara staring daggers at me now. She thinks I challenged her only to concede.

"No concessions. Fight. Or I could always come up with an intriguing punishment for you... Hehehe.. " Shit.

"Never mind then..." I'm going to die.

Come on shovel. We will fight until death together good friend. Gramps just gave the signal begin. I'm already running away. I feel something hot fly over my shoulder. Definitely flames. I can spell my burning hair! She is going to roast me alive! This damn bitch! My magic is shit you know. I can't defend myself!

I'm now running in circles and I think it's pissing off Flara, she is flinging fire everywhere. I'm also getting curse by the spectators up above. What to do?! This will not end well. I've decided. I'm now running straight at her. Fuck! I just dodged a fireball that was aimed at my face.

I'm now ten feet away from her.

Come on legs! Run faster! I dodge another fireball. Crap! She is now tossing them too quickly for me to handle! What kind of crap is this! She has a fireball in each hand and can throw them within three seconds. That's forty fireballs a minute. I can't die here, I still have so much to do! I can't die until I have finished tending to my farm and show them they can't look down on me!!!

Fuck it all! Magic is overrated!!!

I run straight into the flames, shovel in hand. 

"Aaaaah!!!!!" I will beat you, you fucking bitch! I'll make you cry again damn it!

Despite my burning and charred flesh I plant the flat of my shovel onto her face! That's right, fuck you! Good one my trusty companion! I knocked her out cold! 

I'm losing consciousness... I smell something burning... it's me... fuck.

***

I open my eyes. I think this is the infirmary. Wait my shovel where is my trusty shovel! "W-where is my..."

A nurse comes over and shushes me. "Don't talk, I just got done healing you. You grandfather said you would want this when you wake up, although I don't know why..."

She hands me... my shovel... two thirds of the wooden shaft was snapped off, the wood that is there is pretty much charcoal, the metal shovel piece is twisted and melted. I'm hugging my best friend tightly against my chest. I'm crying. I didn't even give him a name... now is better than never I suppose. I'll never forget your sacrifice George... I lost a reliable friend today. Rest in peace George... I'll miss you...

{CHAPTER END}

[NEXT TIME ON MAGIC IS OVERRATED...]

[Practice... Doesn't Always Make Perfect]

•—•—•—•

A moment of silence please in memory of the shovel George and his noble sacrifice...