I wake up slowly, slightly sweating by the heat of the fire. I snuggle into the bag a bit more and hug my lumpy yet soft pillow, wedging my face between two protrusions it has. As I wake up a bit, I realize that the pillow is not made of cloth, but of soft skin, specifically Lena’s chest. I fully come to my senses with a snap, this is not a pillow, but Lena, her face close to mine, just above my head, her breathing soft and steady, still asleep. My motion causing her to unconsciously cling tighter to me. My heart begins to pound at the closeness I am to a woman, an action I have never experienced before, and I am suddenly fully aware of my close proximity to her and the tight confines of the bedroll. My cheeks flush, the temperature feels like it rises five degrees in a matter of seconds, and I try to shift subtly to manage the growing embarrassment to my body’s natural reaction to being in this position.
Lena stirs again, probably caused by me moving around. Her eyelashes flutter open as she awakes. She looks at me, her eyes widening in recognition and confusion. The awkward silence is long, as we both just sit in the moment of…this. My arms still wrapped tightly around her, and her body pressed against me further down.
“Goo…good morning.” I stammer out, trying to use some blood to run my mind for a bit.
“Morning” she replies, her voice still groggy from sleep. She blinks a few times, seeming to remember where she is and why we are in this position. “Thank you for... for everything.”
I nod, still extremely flustered, and not expecting that reaction. I try to explain myself: “you, I, l…I’m glad you’re okay. Y..you were really cold, and Thallion thought... this would help.”
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She cracks a slight smile, “It did, I am much warmer now”
I shift slightly, still trying to alleviate my growing discomfort with what is happening without drawing attention to it. “We should probably get out and let you warm up by the fire some more.”
Lena nods in agreement. Looking around, I see Thallion sleeping in his chair not but an arms length away. I tap on his foot to wake him up. After a few seconds, he awakes.
“She’s up. Could…could you get our clothes?”
“Clothes? Wha’” Thallion responds tiredly. Upon seeing us, he immediately snaps awake, takes a deep breath in about to shout, and then stops. “Right, clothes, um, one moment”
He returns shortly with clothes and a second bedroll. Repeating the tuck and roll I did to get into Lena’s bag, I switch to the other, colder one, which immediately helps with my situation.
Getting dressed in our separate bedrolls, we extract ourselves and stretch, adjusting our clothing as needed afterwards.
Seeing us both standing, Thallion approaches, “Lena, how are you feeling?”
“Better,” she replies, standing a bit shakily, with a slight contented smile. “Much better, thanks to Ethan.”
Thallion nods, relief evident on his face. “Good. Let’s get some warm food into both of you.”
As they move towards the fire, I can’t help but glance at Lena, my mind racing with the unexpected closeness we had just shared. She catches my eye and gives me a grateful smile.
I breathe out, relieved as I expected that entire encounter to have gone much worse. Despite the awkwardness, I feel a sense of accomplishment and connection that I’ve never felt before. Not sure what this means, I head for the kitchen, roughly dressed and now confused for what is to come, but glad that everyone is safe. As I walk past her returning from the kitchen, I think I catch her winking briefly at me.
What does this all mean?!