Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati

When all else fails, play dead. Kind of

Seeing no other options, I strip down to nothing, putting my clothes as far under the chair as possible, and place the translator under the chair as well, but closer to me. I then lie down behind it. I then try to slow my breathing and heartbeat as much as possible given the circumstances and pray that this works. I close my eyes and wait.

And wait

And wait

The footsteps stop right beside me and I feel the chair dragged away as the floor rumbles from its movement.

Bracing, but trying not to tense muscles, I feel the air stir as the guard reaches down and picks up the translator.

The guard, using the butt of his sword, pokes me in the stomach. I let out a wheeze as air escapes my lungs due to relaxing my muscles as I try not to flinch or laugh from the action.

The guard stands up and walks away.

More talking occurs. This time much more muted.

The footsteps fade away.

I am suddenly poked and shaken! I continue playing dead. My lungs start to burn from the lack of fresh air, but I push onwards! Trying to act as dead as possible.

I am roughly rolled over, so that I am directly on my back. Something cool is placed on my chest. I let out a bit more air from the slight pressure. I hear a sigh.

The footsteps pick up again, this time fading into the distance.

I wait a bit longer. My lungs are screaming for new air at this point. It is a cross between drowning and being stabbed with thousands of needles as the acid levels within my blood ever increases from the carbon dioxide.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I am petted. A feminine voice, which I cannot understand, is talking.

“Allo breaveis.”

I gasp for air, hoping it is not the guard over me. It’s Lena! Weak and dizzy from the lack of air, I lean against her, in a sorry excuse of a hug and crutch. I regain control of my breathing, and am overwhelmed with the feeling of pins and needles across most of my body.

“Ooooooowwwwwwwww” I groan, trying to stretch my legs, whilst still clinging to Lena to not fall back to the floor.

My brain fog clears a bit, and I realize I am still naked. Naked and hugging Lena. No! Yes she looks nice, and is only 1 of 2 women you saw, but no! She thinks I am a kid, and is treating me as such. Cuddles and head pats are normal for kids, and cats!

I scramble at the realization and quickly get dressed with as much dignity I can muster with all 3 of them in the same room as me. By facing the wall.

Turning back to the table, They are all muttering in hushed tones while leaning over the table. Thallion tries to talk to me, but it is fruitless as they don’t have the translator. I look down at the table, ready to start working on explaining my phone.

It’s gone.

My…work phone

Is gone.

Heaving myself into the chair, I sigh deeply, as yet another thing has gone wrong because I will not take the plot hook. There is a groan, and then the legs of this chair snap and I am now eye level with the table edge. I lean my head on the table trying to think of what to do next. Without the translator, it’s back to school for me, and several months to years until I can do anything.

I am tapped gently on the shoulder. It’s the shop owner. Sighing and ready for a verbal beatdown of all the equipment I second handedly broke which I won't be able to understand, I close my eyes and stare at the ceiling from my now shortened chair.

“Hello Ethan. I am Silvra. I…I am glad that you are still here. Still alive. The guard, they took it. They took everything you had. Your device, the translator, are all gone. I am talking to you on my own. It works just as well, but it is much more fragile. And it is very not cheap. So given that, I won’t be giving it to you to practice with. You can carry it, but I need to make a little plug for the port so you don’t accidentally touch it. Or even better, a little carrying box that I can put it in so that-”

Lena coughs. Seems like that is a constant here to interrupt trains of thought

“Right. Back on track. When you said you needed help, I thought just in the “weird guy living in forest for years makes insane tech, needs to teach someone” not the “help me I am being chased for unknown reasons and don’t know anyone” type. I already stated I want to be taught by you, but I also want to be your guardian. All three of us do.”

Surprised at not being chewed out, I nod slightly, at which point she shakes my hand..

Wait, guardian?! In what way?! Knight would be good, but I think more along parent/guardian! I am not a kid!