Chapter 82: Duel Under The Raining Skies (IV)
The sword was a prized and cherished possession, accompanying him through thick and thin. It was there throughout his most dear memories, his most perilous adventures, his most tragic heartbreaks and…his most lonely secludes of isolation, that made up for the most of his past five years.
Such a valuable thing, and now it was cracked.
For most of those who found themselves in such a predicament, they would respond with fury, and vengeance.
…But that wasn't Lloyd's nature.
Titled "the Mellow Blade," the man stared upon his cracked sword emotionally, but only for a moment, before he sighed out a deep breath.
In that same breath, all the anguish and ache for his wounded companion was released. And that breath which contained his grief, was carried along by the winds in the sky, dissipating into the grand essence of the world.
It had only been seconds since he was struck with distraught, but the Mellow Blade gravitated towards a fitting ideology. The past was in the past, and no longer did it exist.
Unconsciously however, his eyes looked down, and found that same anguish and heartbreak come back tenfold. Where the blade cracked, the yellow tassel on the hilt of his sword still danced. The color, the silk, they were as good as new. It was an item preserved perfectly over the years, like a cherished memory unforgettable.
"Hey."
Lloyd moved his eyes towards the young man, who now had a glowing red eye on his already piercing look.
"Get ready. I’m coming again.”
“I wanted to be something you nobles call ‘chivalrous.’ Or else I would’ve thrashed you while you were still rolling and tumbling.”
“...Thank you for being so kind.”
“Prepare. I’ll kill you if you don’t try your best.”
Zan imitated his last driving charge, down to the exact movement. Readying his legs once again into a posture best for explosive burst.
The swordsman heard his words but took no offense, instead sighing to himself again and readying his sword. The one who called himself “Zan” was a direct warrior, and it seemed he was going to erupt in the same fashion as he did previously.
From this, Lloyd knew he had to draw on that power, or else he really would die in the next moment.
The problem however was exactly that. Everytime he drew upon that power, he had to relive the memory. There was a tradeoff to great strength, and Lloyd’s ability directly skipped into the higher tiers of the next realm of power.
But how was this possible?
Combined with genius perception and talent, the thing known as tragedy unlocked unconscious comprehensions in the profundities of the ceaseless rain. In other words, he had intuitively grasped deep insights that were normally extremely difficult to comprehend.
Even with incredible talent it should have taken tens of years to reach such a stage. That, or a powerful nuclear core.
The underlying factor in Lloyd’s success then, was of course an altered state of mind. What kind of magical state of mind could lead to such grand improvements? Extreme emotional trauma.
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In such a state, the swordsman touched upon the sources closest to that vibration of being.
In the ceaseless rain he found the sources of rain, water, falling, sorrow, powerlessness, loss, grief, destruction, and ironically enough, stagnancy. But what he connected to most deeply was not the beauty of the rain, but the heartbreak.
In such an extreme state he also briefly touched upon “Intent.” The same force that created an impenetrable shield of clouds which spanned a few miles, was due to that mysterious thing called Intent.
To conclude, after his mind breaking and heart wrenching experience, he was able to draw upon, and to some degree use those higher powers. The tradeoff then, was that they were so powerful that they threatened to consume him.
Lloyd connected to powers above his conscious understanding, but worse yet, most of the sources he connected to were elements that were already intangible, and much more metaphysically powerful. He connected to emotions.
It was one thing to become closer to the rain, or for a member of the dragon bloodline to embrace more of their animalistic traits, but it was another thing to integrate heartbreak into your very existence. Whenever people cross the boundary, they are changing their very existence, physically and metaphysically.
There were very, very few people who crossed the boundary by connecting to emotions. Even fewer for those who connected to the same sources as Lloyd. How many people could exist in a constant state of heartbreak? Very few, for most of them who had not became numb as a vegetable, committed suicide instead.
The question comes then, why not abandon that path? Why not leave that path of constant pain, and focus again on swordsmanship, or comprehension of clouds and battle like his father. Or even focus more on the positive sources and intents that could also be found in the same rain.
‘I want to change…’ The man said to himself many times in the past, but he never did.
The man knew why. One reason that he could not, was because he could not forget the past.
But behind that, was because a part of him didn't want to forget it. Lloyd kept reminiscing, remembering the best and the worst, living in the past despite existing in the present, because the pain reaffirmed the love that used to be there.
In his mind’s unconscious quest to seek out and remember love, he would remember the tragedy. And he repeated this unconscious seeking and remembering over and over until it became habit.
Until unconsciously he mixed love with pain, and sought both in her memory. And her memory was not something he wished to ever forget.
Lloyd’s eyes went blank and dull. The raindrops surrounding him froze in the air, stuck in time just like he was.
Zan did not rush in. Instead focusing his glowing red eye, intensely observing the changes that took place around the swordsman.
There was a reason for the rough youth’s constant verbal prodding. There was a reason why he moved in the exact same way as before, imitating his previous movements to the precise bone. It was his intention to subtly lead Lloyd to the conclusion that he was going to pounce on him again. All to make him use that power again, so he could observe it fully.
What Zan saw this time was obviously different from Balon’s techniques. In a higher layer of the universe, the beefy meat shield had a floating dragon head above him, but for the swordsman there was no such creature.
Though, it would be pretty shocking if the swordsman had a floating dragon head above him too…but he did not.
Instead, what Zan saw was even more magical and shocking than what he had seen before.
White clouds below their feet and gray storm clouds above their heads— although the scene was beautiful— it mainly dealt with whites and grays. But in a higher layer of the universe that Zan saw, there was color.
A dark blue aurora borealis emitted from the swordsman, dyeing the skies and the clouds beautifully with sorrow. It was an oppressive kind of beauty however. When Zan placed his eyes on the color, it felt like there was a weight in his chest, or a tight grip of a hand on his heart.
Around the swordsman he also noticed ethereal white rain, that continued to fall very slowly. Unbeknownst to Zan, this signified Lloyd’s insights into the rain, and compared to the color of blue that dyed the whole world, it was relatively minor. There was also a faint sharp energy persisting around Lloyd’s sword, that too, were his attainments in the source of the sword.
What then, was that thing there?
It was different from the rest. Zan could feel it, and he knew his instincts to always be right.
It was much more…alive. Compared to the blue lights, the rain, and the sharp energy, Zan could imperceptibly feel— using his intuition— that it was much more dynamic, much more vibrant, much more full of life and complexity. Much more of this vague feeling that he could not currently put a label on.
As Zan continued to observe, it even moved in such a way that it felt like it was trying to gain his attention, and so it did.
The youth’s menacing and evil looking eye gazed at it deeply, like a demon who coveted human flesh and souls. Towards Zan’s focus the thing…seemed to be jumping up and down in bright, cheery joy?
This left Zan further confused. Could energy become intelligent as human beings? If it could, then what was it trying to tell him? And why was it so…happy?
What is that thing? What are you?
That glowing white orb, dancing around the yellow tassel of his sword?