“Looks like she’s still sleeping. Starting to get a bit worried.”

“You have the most medical training. What do you recommend?”

“Honestly? With how much sleep she lost in the week leading up to this, I’m not surprised she’s still resting. It’s just not great. We’re not at the point we need to do a line into her or anything, if that’s what you mean, though I still recommend we keep a bed pad under her after she soiled the sheets. For now, at least, we only need to worry about her sleep schedule being really out of whack when she finally wakes up.”

“Tha righ’?” I said, sleepily slurring the words as I slowly pulled one eyelid open. I hissed a bit at the light in the room, but it abated when a shadow fell over me. I hadn’t properly seen who was in the room, but Masuyo and Melanie had been speaking, so at least they were here.

“Well speak of the devil, and she’ll wake up,” my cousin joked. “How do you feel?”

“Mouth’s dry.” I tried to wet my mouth with my tongue, but I might as well have rubbed used sandpaper against my inner cheek for all the good it did. I rubbed at my eyes and found a lot of grit and grime around them. Cracking them open wide enough to properly see, I saw Elle was in the room as well. She sat in a comfy armchair, and though she had a book on her lap, she was staring at the door. Melanie, meanwhile, was leaning against the wall by the door, looking perturbed.

I struggled to sit up, and Masuyo helped me up. I was shaky. I’d been having such a weird dream.

“What was the dream about?

I tilted my head. Aloud? “Water.”

“Your dream was about water?”

I shook my head. “Thirst.”

“Oh, I have some right here.”

A water bottle was placed in my hands, and I put it in my mouth. Ew, plastic. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

“Here, hang on, let me just… Okay, here you— Wait, geez, drink slower!”

I was getting wet, but water! I greedily gulped and gulped until gulping got me no more. I squinted at it, turning it around and around in my hands, but no more, all gone. “Mouth’s better,” I chirped.

Masuyo looked over her shoulder at Melanie. “I take it this is the behavior you were describing?”

“Yes,” she confirmed, pushing off the wall to move over and join us. She sat on the bed next to me, and I happily leaned into her. Masuyo made a weird sound and covered her mouth, but her eyes danced the happy dance, so I didn’t worry.

“Are you using your power?” Melanie asked. She didn’t sound happy, so I hugged her. Hugs made things better, right? “June, I asked you a question.”

It didn’t work. Why didn’t it work? Elle hugs always made me happy. Was a Junebug hug no good?

Masuyo made another strange noise, but Melanie spoke over her, “June, I need to know the answer. Now, please tell me if you’re using your power.”

I looked down at my lap and pouted. “No…”

She pulled some coins from her pocket, and dropped them in my hands. I stared at them, transfixed, and she said, “I need you to.”

I almost did, they spoke to me and demanded to spin and twirl, but when I reached out to them, I remembered yelling and screaming, eye for an eye. I whined and dropped the coins.

“June?”

I shook my head. Vehemently. “It makes me sad.”

“June, this is important.”

My stomach growled, and I poked it. Rude, interrupting conver-talking. “Hungers.”

Masuyo and Melanie shared a look. Pzzzahp! Stare down of the M’s! M versus M! I giggled.

“How about you move some coins if we get you food?” Masuyo offered. She smiled, but it had no happy behind it this time.

I pondered that before nodding. “Coins for Fugly’s.”

“I had meant something homemade…” she hesitantly replied.

“Coins for Fugly’s,” I repeated. It was a good deal. Not the eye kind. I didn’t like that kind at all.

“Okay, okay, I can get that.” She looked to Melanie. “Would you like something too?”

“Please. Something for Elle as well,” she replied without turning to face Masuyo. Her eyes were on me, and she had the braining look.

“Right on. I’ll check in with the boys before I head out. Be right back.”

Masuyo left, and a moment later, Melanie stood. “Girls, I need to make a call. Come with me, and let’s see if Gregor will look after you.”

Elle closed her book and slipped to her feet, but I said, “Don’t need no lookin’.”

“June.”

“I don’t!”

“June,” she said in her serious voice, which meant bad things. “I need you to listen to me.”

I looked away, abashed. “Am I in trouble…?”

She walked over and gently turned my head back to her. She gave me a look, and though it was stern, it wasn’t unkind. “No, not yet. But you will be if you don’t do what I ask you to. It’s important you listen, understand? You’re not in your right mind, June, and I’m trying to take care of you.”

I bit my lip. I didn’t understand, but I trusted Melanie. If she said it was important, it must be. “O-Okay. I’ll be good.” I carefully stood, feeling a little wobble dobbles. Melanie moved to help me keep my balance, and I latched onto her arm.

Together, the three of us left the room and made our way to the living room. Newter was lounging in his personal armchair and watching the image rectangle, but Gregor was nowhere to be found.

“Newter, do you know where Gregor is?” Melanie asked, drawing his attention from the moving picture.

“Said he was going to the kitchen,” he confirmed before glancing at me. “Hey there, sleeping beauty! You were out for a long time.”

I tilted my head, not beneathstanding. “But I was inside?”

“Huh?”

“You said out, but I was in. They’re opposites!”

“June, Newter was trying to say you were asleep for a long time.”

“Oh. Was I?”

“You were asleep for well over a day, yes.”

“That’s silly,” I pointed out, feeling quite reasonable. “Night is for sleeps unless busy. Day is for naps, but only when I gotta.”

“Dude, what’s up with June?” Newter asked, looking just as not beneathstanding as me.

“She’s in a fugue. My hope,” she gave me a look that said something without the word-y words, “is this won’t be an on-going thing, but we may need to discuss it later.”

“Coins for Fugly’s,” I reminded her, in case she had forgotten. She might have. That was a whole room and minutes ago. “Cuz said she’d get it. I want a cheeseburger with lotsa tots ‘n’ a milkshake.” A thought occurred, and I made a face before adding, “Separate. Not on burger. That’s gross.”

“I’ll be certain she knows not to mix your food together,” Melanie drawled while Newter snickered uncertainly.

“Geez, I’d kinda forgotten about the fugue thing. I’m so used to her carrying around that bag of coins.”

“Coins for Fugly’s,” I repeated, looking up to Melanie. “You promised!”

“I did promise,” she agreed, shooting Newter a look. “Now, come with me to find Gregor.”

The kitchen was a few doors down and had been fashioned out of the old break room. The usual office fare were present, though the coffee machine looked significantly nicer and probably wasn’t the original one. Several items like a portable stove and large multi-purpose cooker had been put in place to provide extra utility, and a large table that could seat eight took up a good chunk of the room that wasn’t dedicated to cooking.

Gregor was laying out ingredients by the cutting board but looked up when we came in. “Ah, Juniper. I am glad to see you awake at last.”

“Hi, Gregor!” I chirped. “We’re gettin’ Fugly’s.”

“I heard,” he remarked with a smile. I did it back. That’s what you did if you liked someone and they showed you their chompers.

“I need you to watch the girls a bit for me.”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

The skin over his eyes pinched together. “May I ask why? I do not mind, but I do not understand the necessity.”

“June is purposefully staying in a fugue by not using her powers. She said it makes her ‘sad.’ I’m going to call Dr. Drovanch about an appointment for her.”

Gregor looked at me in concern, and feeling embarrassed, I turned and hid my face in Melanie’s side. It wasn’t my fault the coins were bad! Coins for Fugly’s, that was fair!

“I see. Very well, I will look after them.”

Melanie thanked him and carefully extracted me from her arm before slipping out. I still felt out of sorts, so I latched onto Elle’s arm instead, but I couldn’t hide as well, since we were the same height. Elle’s book dropped to the ground from her fingers, and she began to run her fingers through my hair. Gregor moved over to us and bent over to pick up the discarded book.

“Ah, one of your bird watcher books,” he noted with a small smile. “Would you two like to read this together at the table, perhaps?”

Elle nodded, and I almost did too, but then I remembered Gregor would be cooking and got curious.

“What’cha makin’?”

“You may come take a look for yourself,” he suggested, handing Elle her book. “Elle, why don’t you read, and I’ll take Juniper for now?”

She sat and opened it to a random page without looking and stared vaguely in its direction. Gregor gently took my hand and led me over to the cutting board instead. Now that we were over here, smells began to waft into my smeller, and my tums growled in reply. I poked it again—so rude, an interrupting interrupter—and I looked up to Gregor in confusion, my earlier embarrassment forgotten. “We’re gettin’ Fugly’s. Why’re you cooking?”

“What do you see in these ingredients?” he cryptically responded. I hummed as I looked at them intently. Huh. It wasn’t working. I reached for a knife, and Gregor gently caught my hand. “Juniper? Why did you try to grab the knife?”

“Can’t see inside them! If it goes choppy, then I can see inside,” I sagely replied.

“I see. I would rephrase my question then. When you look at these ingredients, what do you believe I’m making?”

“Food!” I confirmed. That much was obvious. Silly Gregor!

He chuckled. Even he thought he was silly! “Indeed. And what food could I use these ingredients to make?

“Ooooooh,” I breathed out. Why hadn’t he just asked that to start?

I checked the ingredients. That was for warding off vampires, and that was for crying. Those were green beans that were red, and those were the same but only in the dark. Those animal bits ‘n’ bobs were red now but wouldn’t be when cooked, but the balls were red and would stay that way when cut. Powder and powder, neither for chowder. I picked up one of the un-green beans and some of the other un-green beans and put them together. I knew this. Puzzle pieces. Turn them, and they fit just so.

“Chili!” I excitedly declared with a grin.

“Yes,” he confirmed with a smile. “And good chili takes a long time to cook. We do preparation now, so we may eat later.”

That made sense. “That makes sense,” I informed him. I pressed the not-green beans against the root of tears and the vampire repeller to make chili, but nothing happened. Oh right, Gregor said it takes a while. Silly June. I left one bean on each and started to reach for the red bits and bobs.

“Juniper, do you know what I do when I’m sad?”

I paused, my face going all bunchy as I tried to remember. “Never seen you sad.”

“On the contrary, you have seen me sad several times.”

I put down the ingredients and looked at him. Chili mysteries needed to wait. Gregor mystery first. “When?”

“The night you moved in with us you fought with your cousin, and that made me sad. Later, you were afraid of being rejected and abandoned, and that made me sad as well.”

I felt something in my noggin, but it slipped away before I could ask it what it was. “You were sad?”

“Yes. I was also sad when you were hurt in Providence and when you were taken away in Philadelphia.”

There it was again. Excuse me, what— It slipped away again! “Oh. I’m sorry I made you sad.”

“You did not make me sad, Juniper. I was sad because you were hurt, and you are my teammate. Now, do you remember what I asked you?”

Again. Again again again. Stop it, skull squirmer! Go bug somebody else! I shook my head to get it out, but it was stuck. “N-No?”

“I asked if you knew what I do when I’m sad.” Melanie was back, but I was heavy, and Gregor was talking. “Do you know?”

I didn’t like this. I didn’t like it at all. “P-Please stop. I don’t w-wanna be the b-big sad!”

He told me anyway. “I try to make things better. Sometimes I can’t, but knowing I tried helps. Knowing I did my best.”

Metal around me began to shake. The knife on the cutting board, the microwave, the portable stove, the fridge, the— It hurt! Stop it! Stop it stop it stop it!

I thought of Aisha in a ruined kitchen. She talked me down when nobody else could, and I abandoned her.

“No!” The metal in the room stopped shaking, and I grabbed at my head as I fell to my knees. “Don’t break things, no excuse, no excuse! Stop, I just— Coins!”

The coins were in our room. I could feel them. I made them spin, around and again. Gregor was on the floor with me, and I clutched at him as a sob tore its way out of me. It hurt. It hurt so much, and I wanted it to stop. I had hurt him too. Hurt him because I messed up. That made it worse, and I… could make it go away. All I had to do was let the coins go, to sink away. I didn’t have to hurt. Nobody had to. It didn’t have to be like this.

I just needed to let go.

“I am here for you,” he said, pulling me against him and back from the brink. “Teammates do not abandon one another.”

“I did! I abandoned her!” I wailed.

“You stood by her until the end, then it was you who was abandoned,” he disagreed, his chest rumbling as he spoke. “You were put in a place you should never have been placed. Made a choice that no one should have to make.”

I kept crying. The coins kept spinning.

I didn’t know what to say, and he was content to let me weep, even though I had to be ruining his shirt. Eventually I had no more tears to give, but I clung tight anyway, and he let me. We stayed there until Masuyo finally returned with Fugly’s. The smell reminded me I was ravenous, and with a sniffle I pulled away.

My knees hurt from kneeling for so long, but Gregor didn’t seem bothered and helped me walk over to the table. Masuyo was sorting through the bag and doling it tall out while shooting us glances that wavered between worried and confused.

“Sorry you couldn’t get started on the chili,” I mumbled as he helped me into the seat between him and Elle.

“We have a pressure cooker as well, so I will adjust my plans,” he replied, unworried. “Would you like to help me after lunch?”

“Yeah.” I helped Elle unwrap her burger, and once she was eating, I turned to him to give him a smile. It wasn’t a very good one, or so I thought, but it was what I had to give. It must have been enough because he smiled back.

“God, I’m starving!” Newter loudly declared as he strolled into the room with his hands behind his head. He paused when he saw my red eyes and seemed to suddenly notice the somber mood of the room. “Wow. Usually people only cry after eating Fugly Bob’s. You know, when the heart burn kicks in.”

“Newter!” Masuyo started to scold only to stop when wetly laughed.

“Ass,” I weakly retorted, still feeling very out of sorts.

“Eh, I’ve been called worse,” he replied with a grin before leaping to the ceiling and crawling over to his seat at the far end. “You’re gonna have to step your game up.”

I shoved the metal cap of the glass pepper shaker up his nose, and he sneezed violently, sending it rocketing out of his nose and a cloud of pepper to hang over the area around him.

“You’re pure evil,” he informed me, though he said it with a grin.

We all ate together, and by the time we were done, I felt the tiniest bit better. It was a start.

----------------------------------------

I stared at my phone for a moment, confirming I had typed the number in correctly, and breathed out a weary sigh. It was a struggle to continue making the coins lazily drift in a circle on the ceiling and not sink away.

Elle squeezed my hand, and I gave her a grateful smile. It was so sweet that on bad days she still unconsciously thought to do things like that.

“I don’t want to have this conversation,” I confessed. “I still feel awful, and it’s gonna be awkward as hell on top of that. Like, what do I even say to her? ‘Oh hey, it seems like you maybe have the hots for me, but I’m taken!’ Uuuugh.”

Elle, unsurprisingly, didn’t have anything to say to that, but she did squeeze my hand again. I wanted to push back calling Amy, but I’d delayed far too long as it was. I should have called her when we got back into town, but then the whole thing with Lung had started, and it had all snowballed from there. I needed to do it today, and if I waited any longer, it’d be so late in the evening she might not pick up at all.

Fuck my life, I thought with another sigh as I forced myself to tap the dial button. The line clicked to life, and the flight of my coins a bit agitated as I listened to it ring twice before Amy picked up.

“Hey! One sec, just going up to my room for privacy.”

“Oh, uh, okay. Sure.” It was strange, hearing her voice after all this time. We had only met once, and that whole day had been one gigantic, hectic mess. Despite that, it was no exaggeration to say she changed my life, and she and her voice were consequently seared into my memory.

There was a brief bit of muted noise in the background that made it sound like she was either running up or down a flight of stairs that was followed by the more distinct sound of a door shutting. “Okay! I’m good now,” she said, huffing a little bit. “How’re… how’re you doing…?”

I stiffened. “Um… well…”

“Oh. Oh shit, I am so sorry. I—I shouldn’t have said that. Obviously you’re not doing okay, you— shutting up. I’m shutting up. Sorry!”

I pulled the phone away from my face and stared at it for a second. This was definitely the right number, and it was the right voice on the other end, but what had happened to the pragmatic girl I’d met on the roof? I thought the quirky rambling from our private messages had just been us feeling each other out, but wow, she really was acting completely different now.

“Meteor?”

“Sorry, I’m here,” I said, bringing the phone back to my face. I’d have to think more on it later. “And yeah. Things have been… not so great. But we’re… managing.”

“We?”

“Labs and I. And that’s… we need to talk about that.” Goddammit, I’d meant to throw in a bit more casual chat first. Holy shit this was awkward. “See, your messages, they, uh, kind of gave us the impression you were… attracted to me.”

“I’m so sorry! I, uh, am. Attracted, I mean.” There was a beat of silence, then she scrambled to add, “T-That doesn’t have to mean anything though! Sorry, I’m probably making you uncomfortable, aren’t I?”

YES! “No, it’s… um, flattering, but…” Okay, fucking hell, June. Stop dancing around it and just say it! Rip the bandage off! “Y’see, it makes Labs jealous ‘cause we’re together.”

“… what.”

I blinked. It honestly sounded like I had broken her. “We’re together,” I slowly repeated.

“L-Like…” She failed to complete the thought.

Yikes. Getting more awkward by the second… “Like, she’s my girlfriend, I’m hers? That kind of together.”

“But I… you… this wasn’t supposed to happen…”

‘Supposed to happen?’ What did she think we were meant to be or something? Why would… oh. Shit, did she think I’d fall for her because she helped my transition? How does that saying go—quid something...? Fuck, if that was the case, I needed to rectify that line of thinking immediately. I did owe her as far as I was concerned, but she needed to understand I wouldn’t do anything just because she asked—like being her girlfriend.

“Anyway, I just wanted to clear that up and to properly thank you for helping me with my transition. Like, I know it was a deal, but I still feel like I came out ahead. If there’s ever anything I can do to repay you, then let me know, and I’ll see if I can make it happen, okay?” There. That was appropriately vague and noncommittal.

“Friends,” she faintly replied. “Y-Yeah. I’d... I would l-like that.”

“So… we’re cool?”

“Yes! Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?”

Yeah, I was 95% sure I was on the right track. At least she was taking the rejection well and not going to be pushy about it. I really did want to be friends, so I did my best to push past the awkwardness, so we could chat about normal topics.

“Well good. I, um, don’t really want to talk about any of the fucked up shit that’s been happening, but we could talk about something else.” I fished around for a topic for a second before adding, “How’s Vicky? You said she’s taking you coming out well, right? How was that double date?”

She laughed awkwardly. “It was better, but not good? Like, it’s good Vicky’s being understanding, but there’s just something inherently weird and uncomfortable about blind dates.”

“I bet. But hey, at least that’s a weight off your chest, right? Being in the closet, I mean.”

“Y-Yeah. Hey, uh, Dad’s calling me, so I gotta go okay? I’ll text you later!”

“Oh, sure, no problem. By—” The line was already dead.

Well that was excruciating, I thought as I slipped my phone back in my pocket. I hope this doesn’t fuck up being friends...