“Hnnn,” I groaned as someone began to shine a light on me. I wiggled away from it a bit, hoping to resume sleeping, and I felt my pillow shift under me a bit in response, the gentle rising and fall—
Wait, what?
My eye that wasn’t busy being buried in my strangely moving pillow cracked open. What had roused me initially was readily apparent: A beam of sunlight was streaming in through our window onto the spot a few centimeters from my face, and judging by the angle of it, it was getting to be somewhat late in the morning. As for my moving ‘pillow,’ I pulled back further to look up and found somewhere in the middle of the night I had apparently claimed Elle as my pillow. She was wide awake as well, and I felt my cheeks heat up when her eyes flicked down to mine and her lips curled up into a smile.
What do you say to your girlfriend—wait, was she my girlfriend? Should I ask her? I mean, taking her out on a disastrous date and her saying she was fine with more had to mean something, right? But at the same time, I shouldn’t, like, jump to assumptions either. So… yeah, I should ask her. Easy, no problem. I’ll just use words. Out of my mouth. Like, that talking thing I do every— For fuck’s sake, June, grow a pair and just say something!
A laugh escaped me before I knew it, which prompted Elle to ask, “What’s funny?”
“Nothing important,” I replied, a smile to match hers finding its way onto my face. Just the irony of thinking ‘grow a pair’ when I just got rid of mine. “Did I wake you?”
“No,” she denied. “Been awake.”
“You could have gotten up,” I remarked as I reoriented myself so I wasn’t half pinning her down. Doing so caused the comforter to slip off of my shoulder, and I shivered a bit as the cold air of the room hit my—OmigodI’mbasicallynakedwhatwasIthinking?!
I had gone as still as stone, completely petrified as my mind kicked into panic mode on overdrive, but if Elle noticed, then she didn’t remark on it. Instead, she shook her head, and some of her hair fell forward, obscuring her eyes as she quietly replied, “Liked the view.”
Her words didn’t dispel the frantic thumping of my heart in my chest, but I thought that had more to do with the resurgence of warmth in my cheeks. Before I quite realized what I was doing, I had reached forward and carefully brushing back some of her hair. Her cheeks were flushed, and my fingertips felt warm as they grazed lightly across her skin while I tucked the hair securely behind her ear. I gulped as I tried to rally what courage I could. “I do too…” I murmured before abruptly stammering, “T-The view of you I mean! ‘Cause you’re, y’know, really, really pretty, and I…”
When did we get so close? I thought in surprise as my eyes shifted from her eyes to her lips and back. Fuck me, am I supposed to kiss her now or—?
Apparently the answer was yes, since Elle took the initiative and leaned forward to close the gap between us. After the second surge of panic died down, my eyes fluttered closed as I settled into it. She had morning breath from not brushing her teeth yet, a failing I likely shared on my end, and I had the sinking suspicion that we probably looked ridiculous from how obviously inexperienced both of us were with kissing someone. Even still, I couldn’t quite help the goofy grin when we pulled back for air and softly clunked our foreheads together.
“That was…”
“Nice?” she hopefully supplied, looking more than a bit nervous.
“Very,” I agreed, gently nuzzling her nose with my own before diving back in for more. Elle shifted next to me, and I found myself rolling onto my back as she maneuvered her leg over my thighs, breaking our locked lips only briefly as she settled herself over my pelvis before trying to resume. Unfortunately, the movement sent a flare of pain shooting through my body after the abuses I had put it through last night, and though I tried to suppress it, I couldn’t entirely stop a hiss of pain from escaping through my teeth.
“Sorry,” Elle said with a cringe. “I wasn’t think—”
I interrupted her by snaking my hands up into her long hair, gripping her head, and gently but firmly tugging her down until she was a hair’s breadth away. I imagined you could cook meat on my cheeks, I was blushing so furiously, and I suspected she could feel the heat radiating off of me. “I want to keep going.”
Whatever reservations she had were dispelled, and I was swept up in a swirling maelstrom of sensations once more. Not all of them were entirely pleasant, as the bandaged cuts all over me made their presence known repeatedly, but Elle’s every touch was so damn intoxicating it more than made up for it. I shakily exhaled as her hands started to—
The door suddenly swung inward, and we both froze as Newter stepped in, saying, “Hey you two, we’re— Woah, what did I just— hey!”
“Get out!” I snarled at him for interrupting the moment, pelting him with coins as Elle hastily tugged the comforter up over us. “Get out!!”
“Hey, maybe hang a sock on the door or something next time!” he loudly yelled back through the safety of the now closed door.
“Maybe learn how to knock next time, asshat!” I yelled right back before flopping my head back down on the mattress with a groan. I was more than a bit letdown when Elle rolled back off of me, but when I saw her eyes clenched tightly shut, I bit my tongue to kill off the complaint that had nearly rolled out of me. “Are you okay?”
She minutely nodded but didn’t verbally respond or open her eyes either. I suspected that meant she wasn’t, not really, but she would be with time. I pushed my disappointment aside for the moment and settled down on my side before scooching a bit closer to her. When she didn’t respond negatively, I carefully snaked my arm over her belly and pulled us together in a gentle hug.
We laid there without speaking for a while, and though the muscles around her eyes relaxed to the point she wasn’t squeezing her eyes shut so much as just leaving them closed, she didn’t say or do anything either. After a bit of time passed in silence, I tentatively broke it, asking, “Elle? Are you sure you’re okay?”
A soft sigh escaped her as her eyelids slid open. “Doing my exercises.”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to distract,” I muttered as I started to pull away, only to be brought up short as she grabbed my hand before I could get away entirely.
“A good distraction,” she disagreed, the small, tentative smile finding its way to her lips once more as she wiggled her other arm under me to pull me closer.
“Oh yeah? I think Melanie would disagree,” I joked as I tucked myself fully into her, laying my head on her chest just as I had woken up earlier.
“True,” she agreed.
Unfortunately, it seemed we were going to be intruded upon again, since I felt the metal chain of Masuyo’s necklace reach the top of the stairs and start towards our door. “Company incoming,” I pointed out with a sigh.
“Masuyo,” she agreed, clearly seeing her approach through her own power. I strangely felt a bit… pleased—at least, I thought that was the best word for what I felt—that I had distracted her thoroughly enough that she hadn’t noticed Newter approaching earlier. That was certainly why I had missed the metal button of his jeans.
Just to be safe, I pushed the entire doorknob mechanism into elsewhere. My precaution proved unnecessary though when my cousin knocked quietly on the door, demonstrating far more tact than our orange-skinned teammate. Then again, he had announced loudly enough for the whole house to hear the nature of what we’d been up to in here, so she certainly had more warning than he had. “Are you two… decent?”
“One sec,” I called out as I delicately and regretfully extricated myself from Elle, who was still fully dressed in her own sleep attire. My sleeper shorts definitely needed to be replaced, just like the tattered remnants of my shirt and bra Masuyo had helped me remove before bandaging me last night, but they would do until I could get to the shower. I tugged an old shirt over them, one of the only ones I had from prior to my change that still more or less fit, and crossed over to the door while bringing the doorknob back from elsewhere.
I had half expected Masuyo to look uncomfortable when I tugged the door open, but she looked sly if anything. “And how are you this morning, June?”
“Peachy,” I flatly drawled, leaning against the door frame to try and block her view into the room. I almost immediately had to shift position because it made the pain in my upper arm from my cuts flare, though I did my best to hide it. “Can we help you with something? We’re kind of busy in here.”
“So I heard. How are your injuries doing?” she asked, her eyes flicking to and fro over me, checking the bandages littering my exposed skin.
“They’re fine. I’m fine,” I tried to argue only to find Elle coming up behind me.
She reached out and gently examined my arm with a frown. “They don’t look fine,” she softly countered.
Now that I looked at them properly in the more substantial light streaming in from the hallway, they really didn’t look very good. Though none I could see were leaking blood, there were dark red blotches over the spots the actual cuts lied that marred the otherwise pristine white of the bandages. “I mean it,” I insisted anyway. “Totally fine.”
“I restocked my supplies this morning,” Masuyo said, ignoring me in favor of speaking to Elle. “I’ll get your girl fixed up.”
“I don’t—”
“Yes, please,” Elle replied, plowed right over my objection. She tilted her head inquiringly and asked, “Newter?”
“I’m right here—”
“He and Gregor were going through the Flycatcher’s movie collection, and he came up to invite you two to watch Ocean’s Eleven with us all.”
“Sounds lovely. June?”
I stared at Elle with incredulous exasperation then leaned in to whisper in her ear, “But what about... you know?”
She smiled and turned her head, so her mouth was at my ear as well. “Be nice. Bandages and movie, then…” She trailed a finger down my side, ghosting over my hip just out of Masuyo’s sight. “… I’ll make it up to you.”
A light shiver of excitement ran through me, and I murmured back, “I’ll hold you to that,” before turning my attention back to Masuyo, who once again looked entirely too sly. “Alright, where do you want me, Doc?”
“Not a doctor,” she stressed as she turned to walk down the hall. “C’mon down to my room, and we’ll get you all patched up.”
“Whatever you say, Doc,” I quipped right back, probably a bit too pleased I had found a nickname for her she didn’t like. I turned back to Elle and asked, “See you downstairs?”
She leaned forward and gave me a quick, heated kiss that she cut off entirely too soon. “A preview,” she remarked when a disappointed whine wormed its way out of me. “If you’re good.”
“I’ve gotta be good now to be bad later, huh?”
“Naturally. Now go get fixed up.”
“Yes ma’am!” I joked with a mock salute as I moved to follow my cousin, floating a small handful of coins from my supply in our room up over Elle’s head, so I would have something to try and keep my mind occupied.
Masuyo had left her door open, but I still rapped my knuckles on the wood and loudly called out, “Coming in!” before waiting a second and actually moving inside.
“No need to shout. I did leave it open for a reason,” she pointed out distractedly as she continued setting out bandages, gauze, antiseptic, and god knows what else all of that was.
“Yeah, but I wanted Newter to hear. Rub his nose in it a bit.”
“Someone’s a bit salty.”
I shut the door and started peeling off my sleep clothes as I debated how to respond, since I wasn’t sure how open Elle wanted to be about our—whatever it was we had. Then again, Newter did already let the cat out of the bag. “Yes, well, I was having a very good time.”
“Yes, I noticed.” She turned to flash me a smirk over her shoulder. “You were a bit flushed when you got to the door.”
“Whatever.” I flopped down an empty patch of her bed and tried to hide my embarrassment by pretending to be focused on the coins I had dancing around just under the ceiling. For the first time in a while I pondered whether this was what it would have been like to grow up with a… normal family. Awkward conversations like this sounded a lot better than the constant walking on eggshells it had been with Mom when she had actually bothered to pay me any attention.
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.
“I’ll start down here,” she said as she dragged over a chair. She started to peel off the bandages on my legs then paused and asked, “Can you lift your legs up a bit?”
I obliged her and moved a pair of coins to each of my heels, so I didn’t have to bother holding them up myself. “Hey, Masuyo?”
“Hm?”
I winced as one of the cuts stung when she rubbed something into it. “Did you have any siblings growing up?”
“I lived with other kids my age, at some of the homes, but I never thought of any of them as my siblings, not really.” Her hands stilled. “Why do you ask?”
“Just curious, I guess. I hung out with some kids, but Mom didn’t like it when I brought any of them over.” My lips curled into a sneer. “Really didn’t like it. Always got scared one of ‘em would see some of her drug shit and say something. Didn’t give a rat’s ass about our place looking like a dumpster fire though. Only cared about making sure cops didn’t come knocking.”
“That sounds awful.” I craned my head to check her expression for pity but found she was… angry?
“You… okay?” I tentatively asked, wondering if I had hit on something sensitive.
She noticed me looking, and the anger disappeared in an instant, leaving behind calm neutrality. Was that the sort of thing you had to learn in foster homes? I had a shitty poker face—I wouldn’t have made it far. “It’s nothing, really. Just a passing thought.” A smirk found its way onto her face again as she remarked, “I am glad you turned out to be a lesbian, by the way. I somehow don’t see you as the type to carefully avoid getting pregnant.”
“Yuck, no thanks,” I remarked with a shiver, the gesture only half faked. “Though I will say that when I first joined the team, I did think Newter was…” What had I seen in him? He was a good friend, but I was coming up with nothing when I tried to recall why I had even passingly been interested. “He was just cool, I guess,” I settled on. “It’s kinda funny to think about now, since it never would have worked.”
“Getting intimate with someone you can’t touch would be a bit difficult,” she agreed. “Definitely hard to picture you two together with how clingy you are around Elle all the time.”
“I am not clingy. I just… enjoy being with her.”
“Potato, puh-tah-to.”
“Well what about you, huh?” I countered. “You call Sabah, like, every other day, and you’re always texting her. Seems pretty clingy to me!”
She disappointingly didn’t rise to the bait. “Eh, I guess it takes one to know one,” she agreed with a shrug. “I’ve only got a few good things going on in my life, so I guess I’m keeping them close.”
“You’re no fun,” I pouted. I yawned and flopped back down on the bed. “You’d think I wouldn’t be tired after waking up so late…”
“Blood loss will do that to you. You didn’t lose enough to justify a transfusion or anything, but it’s gonna take you a bit of time to recover.”
“Already recovering from one thing,” I darkly noted. “Just one more thing I’ve fucked up…”
“Setting aside for the moment you blaming yourself for having a panic attack, which you’re definitely not at fault for, are you really trying to blame yourself for what happened with the Eight?”
“We wouldn’t’ve been at the Zoo if I hadn’t came up with the idea, and I didn’t manage to k-kill Octavia before she got us.”
She stopped what she was doing and pulled herself upright, giving me her full, undivided attention. “June, you can’t blame yourself for going to the zoo. That’s a normal thing that people do. It’s like… I dunno, going to the bank and somebody tried to rob it. You wouldn’t blame yourself for that, would you? And I’m sure you did everything you could to stop Octavia.”
I glared up at the ceiling through watery eyes, my coins vibrating with agitated energy. “I shouldn’t have hesitated. I tried to choke her first, and I got her unaware, but she broke free because of Bard. If I’d tried to crush her with that beam first, if I’d just tried to k-kill her from the start… Elle wouldn’t have gone through that nightmare.”
“Killing isn’t the only answer.”
“It was the best one for dealing with that bitch!”
“Was it now?” she retorted with a raised eyebrow. “Funny, I think I have a better answer.”
I scoffed. “And how would you know that when you don’t even know what happened there? I haven’t told you what happened, and Elle’s been basically non-verbal until last night, so I know you didn’t hear anything from her.”
“You’re right—I don’t know what happened, but I bet I don’t need to, not exactly. See, people left that auditorium. One, the person in charge of Clutch, did some digging and found the police reports. Everybody’s version of what happened was different, but they all left.”
“Is there a point I’m supposed to be getting?”
She leaned forward and gave me an intent look. “The best thing you could have done? Wait. All you needed to do was nothing, and Octavia would probably have never known you and Elle were parahumans.”
“Whatever,” I grunted, though inside, my mind racing. Was she right? In hindsight… Octavia had checked for parahumans in the crowd because I attacked her. Would she have thought to do so otherwise? She was so scatterbrained that I really doubted it. If that’s the case… then I’m even more at fault that I originally thought. Fucking great.
“In any case,” Masuyo said when it became apparent I wasn’t going to say anything further, “my point is you always have a choice. There might not always be a pacifist choice, but you’re never locked into one path. Try not to get so swept up in things you don’t see it, okay?”
“I’ll try,” I replied with a sigh as she began treating my wounds again. “And, um, Masuyo?”
“Yes?”
“Thanks…” For giving a shit.
I hissed as she started cleaning the next cut, and she chuckled. “You’re welcome.”
----------------------------------------
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*
♦ Private messages from Panacea (Verified Cape) (New Wave):
[10/15/2010]
Panacea: Hey, just checking in to make sure you’re eating normally again now.
Meteoric_Rise: yup, all good over here
Panacea: Well good. Anything interesting happening at Palanquin? Trying to do my homework and dying from boredom over here.
Meteoric_Rise: we’re actually not in the bay right now.
Panacea: Oh? On a job or something?
Meteoric_Rise: can't really talk about anything, or faultline would be pissed
Panacea: No worries, I get it. How’s that going then?
Meteoric_Rise: it’s okay, i guess? we haven’t done too much here yet. just got here yesterday lol.
Panacea: I could see being too tired from traveling the first day, but did you really sit around all day in your hotel room or wherever?
Panacea: Sorry, just hit me how that came across. You don’t need to tell me details about where you are. I was just pointing out you didn’t seem the type to just laze about.
Meteoric_Rise: all good, i get it. fl had us doing training stuff for most of today, so it was pretty boring. last night was different though.
Panacea: Don’t keep a girl in suspense—what happened?
Meteoric_Rise: you gotta promise to not laugh.
Panacea: Uh, okay? I promise.
Meteoric_Rise: the crew and i watched star wars… it was my first time.
Panacea: Wow. Really?
Meteoric_Rise: you promised not to laugh!
Panacea: And I’m not. I’m just honestly surprised you’ve never watched any of them even once. Which episodes?
Meteoric_Rise: 4-6. whole thing came up because shade called me a ‘padawan,’ and i admitted not knowing what one was. so then we watch these movies, and it turns out they don’t even use that word!
Panacea: Yeah, I think that didn’t come up until #1, I think? Been a while, so I’m not 100% sure.
Meteoric_Rise: still don’t understand that numbering scheme. so stupid.
Panacea: Well that aside, what did you think?
Meteoric_Rise: they were pretty good. the vader thing threw me for a loop
Panacea: Yeah that’s classic.
Panacea: Hey, gtg, Vicky’s bugging me to get off of my phone again. I’ll catch you later, yeah?
Meteoric_Rise: sure thing. night, dr. amy!
Panacea: You’re ridiculous, you know that?
[10/16/2010]
Panacea: hey, whoever this is, leave ames the fuck alone
Panacea: this is vicky, her sister. you've sent her, like, a hundred messages. back off, you stalker creep.
Panacea: i've got your username. i'm gonna look you up, and if i find out you’ve kept doing this, you’ll regret it
Panacea: OMG, I am so, so sorry! I was in the shower, and Vicky knows the pin to my phone. I’m changing it right now.
Meteoric_Rise: it’s okay. i'm only just seeing this anyway. she's the real creep, stealing people’s phones and looking at their private messages.
Panacea: Still… Ugh. Now Vicky’s giving me a death glare. I’ll catch you later, okay?
Meteoric_Rise: sure thing. hopefully will be going to the zoo with labs tomorrow.
[10/18/2010]
Panacea: Sorry again about the other day. Vicky has been suffocating with how she’s been hovering over me non-stop. She’s gotten it in her head that you’re corrupting me or something.
Panacea: That’s why I couldn’t message you yesterday either. She insisted on doing a trip to the mall and dragged me all over. Wouldn’t let me out of her sight. Then get this: She tried to set me up on another blind date with some guy.
Panacea: I probably shouldn’t have done it, but I was so fed up with her by that point, and I don’t have the you-know-what looming over me anymore, so I finally broke it to her that I’m gay. She had a conniption in the middle of the food court, and people caught it all on video, so of course it’s everywhere online…
Panacea: Carol was pissed at us both but blamed me the most, saying I provoked Vicky! Can you believe it?!
Panacea: She turned off the data on my phone as punishment, said I could only use voice for New Wave business, like we’ve done any of that shit in ages…
Panacea: Only reason I can even message you right now is because I’m using Arcadia’s computer lab over my lunch break.
Panacea: Sorry for the rant. How was the zoo? Guessing “labs” is Labyrinth?
Panacea: Managed to get out of the house to meet up with the excuse I was meeting a classmate at the library for a project.
Panacea: How was your day? I’m still getting treated like a child over here. It’s killing me.
Panacea: When you’re back in the Bay again, can we meet up? I need an excuse to get out of the house more. I don’t want to be at the hospital more than I already am, and I can only use the “I’m going to the library” card so much.
[10/19/2010]
Panacea: You okay? Vicky’s threats aren’t bothering you, right?
Panacea: Oh shit, just reread my messages from yesterday. I wasn’t trying to ask you out on a date or anything, if you thought that’s what I meant about meeting up! Just a friends thing!
Panacea: Like, you can bring Shade, if she’s chill. I already know her face anyway.
Panacea: And I’m sorry if my venting was too much. Just say the word, and I’ll stop.
Panacea: Out of the house again. Vicky tried to rope me into yet another double date, but she does seem to at least be taking the whole gay thing okay? Gotta take the minor victories where I can get them, I suppose. It’s allegedly gonna be a girl this time, though who only knows who she managed to talk into doing this…
Panacea: Okay, it’s clear you need your space so I’m going to just shut up. Sorry.
[10/21/2010]
Panacea: Ugh, I’m sorry. I just need to know: Is this a “you need space” thing, or are you ghosting me? Please let me know if it’s the first…
[10/22/2010]
Panacea: Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Please don’t hate me, but uh, I started to freak out because I thought something might be wrong…
Panacea: I tried to figure out where you might be, but I didn’t know anything beyond there being a zoo. So I was going back through our history and saw the message where you asked about the Eight.
Panacea: I looked for their thread on the off chance your job was hunting them down or something, and I saw they were caught after attacking the library at University of Pennsylvania.
Panacea: There wasn’t much there, so I begged Vicky to get Gallant to tell us what he could find out.
Panacea: I saw the report from the Philly Protectorate. If there’s anything I can do, please let me know.
[10/23/2010]
Panacea: Please give me a call as soon as you read this. My number is 508-746-7652.
*
♦ Private messages from Glory Girl (Verified Cape) (New Wave):
[10/16/2010]
Glory Girl: told you i would look you up. never contact ames again, you bitch. i dunno if you’re the real meteor or not, and i don’t really care either way. i'll fuck you up all the same.
Glory Girl: and if i find out you’re actually a master and behind her change in behavior, then you better hope i never find you.
[10/20/2010]
Glory Girl: good, you have some sense in you. i know she’s probably messaging you a bunch, but ignore them. she'll get over you eventually.
[10/22/2010]
Glory Girl: gallant just told us what happened… i still don’t like you, but nobody should have to go through that.
Glory Girl: give yourself up to the prt and get some help or something. just leave us out of it, okay?
*
Elle looked up at me with a look of concern as she handed my phone back to me and remarked, “Should tell Melanie.”
“You think?” I whispered back. The rest of the van wasn’t paying us any attention for one reason or another, since everyone was focused on their own thing as we drove back to the Bay. I had really only been on PHO to check if anything big had happened while we were away but had glanced at my PMs when I noticed I had a bunch waiting for me. To say my PM history had become a shitstorm seemed like an under exaggeration.
“Panacea’s acting weird. She wanted to know.”
I started to run my hand through my hair only to remember Elle had braided it earlier and carefully pulled my fingers back out. “Right, you’re right.” I sighed and added, “It really hadn’t been anything other than basic messages before that. Nothing weird or funky. Checking in on how my body was doing after the changes, casual conversation, that sort of thing.”
“Of course. Tell her now?”
I glanced up at where Masuyo was propped up against the side of the van, her face pressed against the glass as she lightly snored. “When we get back. No sense in bothering everyone right this second.”
“Okay.” She snaked her fingers in between mine and gave me a small squeeze, which I returned. “Should tell Amy you’ve already got a girlfriend too.”
I leaned over and briefly nuzzled her cheek before setting my head down on her shoulder. “That too. You’re not jealous, are you?”
She took a moment to consider that, then responded. “I think I am.”
That caught me by surprise. “Oh?”
“Not entirely sure. This is new to me.”
She had certainly been jealous of someone before, but it was pretty clear she meant jealous in regards to a relationship. “Me too. To be honest, I might not have even noticed she was thinking of me like that if she hadn’t basically admitted it.” She reached over and ran a hand down my leg, and I shivered at the pleasant feeling that elicited. “Mmm, speaking of new things, can I just say again how amazing last night was?”
Elle’s cheeks darkened, but she didn’t look away as she simply replied, “Good.”
I lifted my head and moved my lips to her ear. “Your place or mine tonight?” I joked in my best approximation of a sultry whisper I could manage. Apparently I managed something halfway decent, since her cheeks went scarlet, and her fingers tightened around my upper leg.
“Get a room, you two,” Newter quipped without bothering to look up from his handheld gaming console.
I rolled my eyes but regretfully pulled back for now. There was always later. I shot Amy a text explaining I couldn’t talk right now but was okay, then I jumped back onto PHO to check the Brockton Bay boards like I originally intended.
As for Newter… I still couldn’t remember what I had ever seen in him.