“I have to say,” Elena remarked as we took our first steps into the cemetery, “this wasn’t quite what I envisioned when you said you wanted to show me around your hometown.”
“I do know how to charm a girl, it’s true.” My words were teasing, but Elena’s expression made it clear she saw through the front I was attempting to put on.
The gatekeeper’s house seemed almost judgmental as we walked into Green-Wood hand in hand. It hadn’t always felt that way, but ever since… Well. That was why we were here. Elena deserved to know.
The bustle of Brooklyn faded away the deeper we went until everything was left somber and quiet. Fresh snow, fallen just last night, coated everything but the carefully shoveled brick path, and we were alone beyond a few people here and there, primarily around Hero’s cenotaph. Elena seemed content to let the silence linger between us as she glanced curiously down the paths branching off of the main stretch I was guiding us down. For my part, I tried to marshal my thoughts into something better suited to the occasion. I didn’t want to speak off the cuff—not about this—but it was… difficult.
Elena raised a questioning eyebrow when our path finally deviated. Not onto one of the offshoots she had been eying, but rather down into the catacombs. Unsurprisingly, I hadn’t settled on the right words yet.
I started talking anyway. I doubted more time would make much of a difference. “You saw my scars.”
Elena’s eyes narrowed, flicking over the well-worn faces of the nearby vaults. “I thought your father was…?”
I winced at my mistake. My hand unconsciously settled over the base of my belly. “Not— Not those scars.”
She stilled, breathing in sharply as her gaze moved to where my hand sat.
“She’s alive!” I all but blurted out, horrified at the emotional wringer I was putting Elena through with my off the cuff explanation for why we were in the absolutely freezing catacombs. “Masuyo is— th-that’s her name. Masuyo. She’s alive.”
Elena heaved a sigh of relief. “My apologies. I didn’t shouldn’t have let my imagination run amok like that.”
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“No, I’m sorry. I couldn’t find the words, y’know? But you deserved to know, so…” I gestured lamely at the aged architecture around us. “I kinda hoped coming back here again would inspire me or something.”
“You didn’t need to tell me anything, but I’m touched that you wanted to share.” She took my hand. Hers was no warmer than mine, but the friction as she rubbed the pad of her thumb over my knuckles was soothing. “At least now I understand why you didn’t want Klaus to come along. I can only imagine how much tougher it would be to explain with a stranger present.”
I forced a smile. “Well, we have been living with him for only a couple of weeks.”
“Yes, well, someone who is nearly a stranger then.” She hesitated before adding, “You said her name was… Masuyo?”
“Yeah…” I looked away. “Father wanted me to, well, y’know, abort. I refused. Mother backed me up for once. If she hadn’t talked him around, I don’t know what I would’ve done. Don’t get me wrong, I think there are plenty of good reasons to have an abortion. But me, I just… I didn’t think it was fair to not give her a shot at life because I was dumb.
“I came here a few times when I was younger. Thought it was cool, fun to explore, that sort of thing. I also used to think it was really, really stupid. People are constantly dying. Like, right now, just while we’ve been talking, there’s been at least a few thousand people who died all over the world. Hell, a few of them were probably right here in New York. If it’s so goddamn common, then why make a big deal out of it? Why waste time building a memorial to someone who got to live their life when you could be living yours?”
“But you don’t think that way now.”
“No. Not anymore. Masuyo changed that. I didn’t abort, but that didn’t mean I was ready to have a kid. Even if I hadn’t been living with Mother and Father, I was not ready. I gave her up to acquaintances of my parents in exchange for covering the hospital bills and my assurance I wouldn’t reach out to see her later. That should’ve been it, right? I gave her a chance at life, so it was time to get back to mine after putting it on hold.”
I shakily pointed at one of the vaults, the script heavily eroded but not so badly we couldn’t make it out. “This lady, she lived her life. Where did she live? Who were her friends? Was she ever in love with someone? If she was, did she give up on them because the love just wasn’t there anymore? Did she like hot chocolate on cold days? The Yankees? Shooting guns? Swimming in ponds? Exploring graveyards?
“I’ll never know. She’s been reduced to a name and dates, a story only remembered by the people who were in her life.” I hiccuped, trying and failing to hold back the tears. “That’s… that’s all Masuyo is to me now. A name and a date…”
Elena hugged me tightly until I couldn’t cry any more. Thankfully, the bus ride home was long enough that my eyes weren’t red by the time we arrived. I’m not sure what I would’ve said to Klaus.