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Lost in Hiraeth
7. Hiraeth

7. Hiraeth

Walking out of the maze proved to be quite an experience.

Deidre could barely remember the countless twists and turns whilst navigating the intricate structure, yet she desperately tried to soak in the new surroundings. Beautiful greenery formed an impenetrable defence mechanism where hidden passages and booby traps came out of nowhere and otherwordly creatures revealed themselves to distract, mesmerise and eventually lead one astray.

This was more than just a typical maze. A labyrinth of gnarled trees, intricate patterns weaved of flowers and magic, sorrows of past and possible futures floating in the air scattered as fairy dust. Like the Void, it was a place in between.

Deidre could vividly hear the aroma of lobelia lulling her into a sweet trance through this maze of new experiences, memories and emotions. Who knew confusion could smell so sweet?.. She could inhale the songs of beautiful tiny birds whose feathers shimmered in the rainbows of the tingling warm sunlight.

“Stomp”, “stomp”, “stomp” - they were pacing through the gravel, getting further away from the centre of the Sun’s square and navigating towards what seemed to finally be an exit. How many are there? - Deidre caught herself contemplating as the stones were crunching beneath her feet. Is this the only way out?

Ten steps forward, taking a turn to the right, twenty-five steps straight and a sharp turn to the left. The sharp, not the bent one. Then go as far as the corridor continues and take a turn right. An owl nest will mark the path and five more steps will be taken until yet another turn to the left. It is important to remember that a right turn could potentially send you flying - as Elijah kindly pulled her away in but a short moment of confusion, warning not to wander off…

Of course, after such an exciting discovery -Who wouldn’t want to blow up as a bloody firework?! - Deidre quite lost her footing - she was no longer sure of the directions, nor was her mind registering any noticeable details.

Perhaps this labyrinth is not even a stable configuration - Deidre thought to herself. I sense something different, something changing. My gut is telling me that there is more than meets the eye. Maybe - just maybe - remembering is worthless. One crosses the maze utilizing their skills, not the usual human vision. A deep sigh filled the ever-green walls of the labyrinth.

An entertained chuckle echoed from the back. She turned her head towards a broad smile beaming at her - the high priest was obviously enjoying himself.

“Don’t mind me,” - August was looking at her apologetically. “Your emotions are all over the place. Yet, this time, I find it quite interesting - moments ago, back in the woods, you seemed horrified by the Awakening experience. Your eyes looked at me with fear and distrust, Deidre, you were floating all over the Void. But now…” August placed his hand on my shoulder, “...now you are present. And you are taking in your surroundings, exploring, speculating, trying to memorise and reason. This is great progress, I could not be more proud of you.”

At this point, I’m very much aware this person is quite something. I appreciate his kind words - I believe they’re not easy to obtain - yet it somehow ticks me in the wrong direction. Don’t patronise me, August - I think to myself. Who do you think you are - or want to be - to be able to be proud of me?

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“Easy now,” - the high priest shot a quick glare at me. “I’d better think twice before unleashing my emotions in the presence of an empath.”

Great. Even my emotions and feelings don’t seem to belong to me only - I sighed. At least, he can’t read my mind - I took yet another deep breath, petrified by the idea of August - or someone else for that matter - potentially having the ability to peek into my head.

“Don’t daydream and stay close to me,” Elijah’s voice cut the thread of my hectic thoughts. “This last bit can get a little intense,” he grinned.

“Let me know how to proceed,” I replied automatically whilst a strong grip wrapped around the palm of my hand.

“Stay alert and no matter what, don’t let go” the commander demanded.

And then we went into an oak tree. Or rather through the tree.

Roots and branches were entangling around me, grasping and sucking into the wooden embrace of an intricate cage. I could sense that slipping out and being lost was but a moment away.

I can still feel the touch of Elijah’s skin - the heart seemed eager to jump straight out of my throat. I need to hold on to him. It will be fine - a deep breath, a few maybe, and the aching sensation pressing the chest faded away. I will be fine.

But a blink of an eye, yet somehow eternities passed until Deidre realised herself finally out in the open. The impenetrable walls loomed behind her as she gaped at the structure in awe - both astonishment, adoration and… frightening sense of respect?

It’s safe to say: I definitely don’t look forward to coming back anytime soon - the young woman thought to herself.

“You did great,” - Elijah’s smile was beaming at her. “Don’t wander off until you’re used to this place. The Sun’s square is but one of the many dangerous objects around here. It will do you no good sniffing around unsupervised.”

Brilliant, another patronising figure ruffling my petticoat - I barely held back a scoff. It seems that beings around here know exactly what I’m thinking.

“Your thoughts are written all over your face,” August crept in on me as a form of confirmation.

“Then would the great krivi please be so kind as to give me face and stop examining every expression and thought that might be rushing through my humble existence?” - my mouth spit the words before I could impose any sense of censorship.

“She seems to be getting more comfortable around here,” - Elijah swooped in, not a single worry in that relaxed face of his. “We ought to be moving, there’s still quite a walk”.

Off he was, the masculine tower-human figure marching ahead, dragging me and the high vaidila behind him.

I greedily drank the fresh air of sunshine and blue skies above me. The taste of crispy green leaves and blooming flowers nourished the tired soul and I felt as if every step elevated the body. It was heavy. Lina’s life - my life - was dragging my feet down and even though I anticipated this new existence - or the promise of it - the birdsong made my heart flutter with distant longing and sorrow.

“Time passes differently in Hiraeth,” August whispered softly. “With time, you will learn to let go. Not forget, no. Let go,” the high krivi was gently smiling. I suppose it was one of those moments where he looked at the Void and not necessarily at me.

“How much time..? How long has it been for you, August?..” I knew it was a tough one, one of those questions he might not answer or might not want to answer, but still, here I was, looking at him.

“Centuries, Deidre. It has been centuries,” a sad smile and a shimmer in his eyes cut the thread of my thought. I knew: It was better to stop now. In time, this person will let me in on the things he deems me fit to know. And in time I will become stronger and will find ways to unravel all the things this place does not want me to learn about.