I found myself standing by one of the arched windows in the tower library.

“Turn left… No, that’s not right, turn to the other side and lift your chin up… Smile, will you?!” August commanded me around as I paraded myself following his ridiculous instructions. Surely enough, it’s evident why he’s the High Priest - this was a job for Elijah. Yet August seemed to take great joy in this charade, so I continued to humble myself with little to no information about what was actually happening here.

“Crossing the River of Fates reveals the essence of one’s soul,” the high krivi explained to me as we were headed to the library moments before this hell was unleashed upon my unsuspecting self.

“This means, no matter where you come from or who you might think you are, crossing the stream of Laima will ensure you obtain the appearance of your true self. Purity, and kindheartedness - these will be expressed in soft features and light colours.

Maliciousness and deception, or maybe the fierness of a soldier or a warrior will often reveal itself with sharp gazes and features resembling those of the shadows and dark pits of the night.”

I followed him as I followed his thread of thought. “Can one be entirely one or the other?..”

“Perhaps. But maybe not?... It would be a deeply confusing matter - what features would such a creature possess if the intent of Hiraeth is to ensure that a clear subliminal message is sent to those around them: this is who and how I am, be aware. You see, this is a place where each being is bound to wear their soul - or as the human world calls it, their heart - on their sleeve. Forcibly. For the sake of justice. For the sake of balance. This is one of the basic rules of the land of Hiraeth.”

I chewed on this conversation as August paraded me around - shifting and turning, offering different angles of my being and desperately trying not to bear my teeth as this was nothing short of ridiculous.

An odd being - or a device? - was floating several meters away from me. It was a big white box - August called it Camera Lucida. Its edges shimmered in silver as it bathed in rich rays of the sun. The thing was floating in the air as a pair of small see-through wings relentlessly beat the airs of this room. It was funny to think it managed to keep that massive thing afloat.

The Camera Lucida spun around me, emitting odd giggly sounds and flashing here and there. I could see bright purple gems for eyes and a nose - or was it a mouth? - as deep and as dark as the Void - hungrily gaping at me.

“Relax, don’t be so stiff,” August scoffed as I fiddled around and dug my fingers into the rich fabrics of the white beautiful threads of my dress.

“I appreciate that accepting this unexpected experience - the Void, the Awakening in Hiraeth, this ethereal existence, much less inspecting your surroundings and trying to understand the beings, our behaviours and how we maintain order is overwhelming enough,” - the high krivi carefully studied my face as his lips weaved new sentences. If this was his way of small talk - he utterly failed. But I suppose, it kept me distracted enough so I would avert my attention from Camera Lucida to him.

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“What I seek right now is to show you how you’re reflected in my eyes. In the eyes of Hiraeth.”

It’s true - I haven’t seen myself ever since I woke up at the Altar. There was not a single mirror and the river of Fate was too busy, too foamy to decipher my ownn image within its waters. If everything that August told me was true, I must have taken a different appearance.

My stomach clenched as I entertained the thought and I felt a warm wave - soothing, endearing even, emitting from somewhere where August stood.

“Calm down, there is no need to worry,” his voice hypnotised my being.

“Your appearance is nothing new, in fact, it is the reflection of your soul. It means the Deidre, no, Lina, you used to see in the mirror was but a mirage bestowed upon you for the purpose of earthly experiences.”

August opened a lid - there was a lid?! - situated at the top of camera lucida, and fished out a piece of paper. I was sure it would be something resembling a photograph.

“This is who you truly are.”

I looked at the photograph and an odd sense of familiarity washed over me. Yet I could not shake off how disturbing it was - my thoughts ran a marathon per second and this existence, this body… It was a mismatch.

I felt like an intruder, an impostor in my own - everyone said it was my own, didn’t they? - skin.

A tall slender figure was beaming her emerald green eyes at me. She had long silky platinum hair cascading down her shoulders and it was difficult to tell - was it ashy blond or did it remind of fields and straw, and perhaps nature itself?

Gone were the chocolate brown flocks and dark bags beneath her eyes. Gods, at least my eyes are still green. Sort of.

“This is not a typical photograph,” - I suddenly felt August closer. “I’m glad you come from a highly developed worldly experience - technology does not take you aback, hence you have the capacity to understand - and accept - magic. This,” he was pointing at the image on my lap, “is a Nuotrauka”.

“What does that mean?” I have never heard such a word before, yet it somehow resonated, though I could not put my finger on it.

“A Nuotrauka is something quite similar to a typical photograph you’re accustomed to. Yet, it’s entirely different” - the high krivi smiled.

You sure like to get on my nerves - I thought to myself. Does this man ever stop talking in riddles? - at this point, I was glaring at him.

“Nuotrauka captures more than just your physical appearance. You see, the magical device performing this sacred art observes its object and seeks to capture its whole being. Drawing with light, but gathering each thread of shadow, sorrow, joy, earthly and ethereal experiences, hidden talents and even thoughts buried deep within…” he sighed.

“Nuotrauka takes in who we are in our entirety, it captures our very essence. No wonder, because that is the meaning of Nuotrauka - to pull a part of one’s self and capture it in the shape of a photograph”.

“Does this mean I am who I see in this image? And I will remain in this form?” I pierced August with an intense stare.

“You are who you see. Nuotrauka reflects your essence. But whom am I to say you’re bound to stay this being that you are? Some of us have vast capabilities, Deidre, and Hiraeth offers an abundance of opportunities,”