Once upon a time, there was a foolish elf named Sylvia.

She was quite slow in many regards, only becoming sharp when someone mentioned either games, anime, or futa cocks. Other than being blessed with a voluptuous body and decent talents in magic, she didn't really have anything going on for herself other than being a bit friendly and slutty.

One day, when she attempted to commit identity theft, the government promptly caught her. Oh, foolish Sylvia...

Okay, stop.

Fuck this narrative. It was a genius move on my side, you know?

In the first place, after we filled in the forms to request an ID, the civil servant's face was like this:

( ͡ ͡º - ͡ ͡º )

She stared at us for a good thirty seconds before confirming our entries.

''...Are you sure about it?''

''Yeah?''

''I see, I see...''

Then, she pulled out a whole ass magical communication device and began to call for someone. After mere minutes, the door burst open, much to our surprise, and this was what she had to say:

''Congratulations. You all are getting arrested for attempted identity theft.''

''What?!''

"Diana and Eliza, together with her daughter, just returned a while ago. You really chose the wrong targets, huh?"

''Ah.''

And that's how we promptly got cuffed and brought to this prison cell, where I can only lament our bad luck and blame my unpreparedness.

''Hic... Hic...''

''...''

As the four of us pitifully hug each other, unable to resist the regime's strict rules, the prison guard is seemingly rendered speechless. Initially, this woman is quite angry at us for trying to disguise ourselves as her own people—the ones relatively similar to humans whose appearance we've all adopted before—but now, she has been converted.

''Ms.Prison Guard...''

''...Hey, I have a name, too, alright? It's Naru.'' Naru rests her trident against the wall and crosses her arms, confused.

''Ms.Naru... Can't we somehow be forgiven...?''

''No way in hell.'' Naru resolutely shakes her head. ''A crime is a crime. You all shall pay for it.''

''I-I will give you—''

''No thanks.''

Good. At least she's doing her job properly.

''More than that, when are you going to remove those disguises?'' Naru frowns. ''It's quite annoying now, I'm not going to lie.''

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''But our appearances are hideous...''

"I wouldn't care. Remove it. I don't want to see my people's appearances taken advantage of like this."

''P-Please...''

''Tch. I'm telling you. If you ever meet our general while looking like that, you will literally be grilled alive. Don't say I didn't inform you.''

''Fine...''

A bit bitter all of a sudden, I use illusion magic to once again change our appearances. Of course, my IQ is not so low that I will revert our disguises entirely. Instead, I adopt human appearances—beautiful ones—for us, because why not?

Now, we all are gorgeous!

Turning to Naru, I can see she is momentarily stunned by this, and after a bit, she shakes her head and leaves silently.

''Phew...'' I let out a sigh. ''Good job, you three.''

''Mhm.''

''Anything for Mama.''

''Exactly!''

Holy shit. How the hell are all of them this adorable...

In any case, this operation is a resounding success. Yeah, I was actually serious when I said this was a genius move. What better way to enter the castle than getting thrown into a prison?

Initially, I planned to infiltrate this building like usual, but that's when I stumble upon a weird piece of information—there is only one prison in the whole city, and it's here.

Why? Hell, would I know?

The important matter is that we're inside, and we're ready to move. A few metal bars won't be able to stop me!

As I aim my hand toward the bars, preparing to use advanced earth magic to warp them—

keng—! keng—! keng—!

''Meal time!''

Right then, Naru appears, holding four paper bags. She puts them inside the cell and leaves right away. The four of us look at each other, the bags, and then sniff the scent coming out of them.

Cautiously, I open one of them using telekinesis, revealing a decently sized portion of egg-fried rice—fragrant and freshly hot. A bit flabbergasted, I flip the other three open, and they all seem to be of the same quality.

Two of them even have extra sausages!

I was prepared to eat dry rations for a while, but this...

''...Emy, can you check them one last time?''

''Okay—''

'''' !!! ''''

Suddenly, like a scene in a horror movie, Naru pokes her head from the side. ''They're not poisoned. Don't worry.''

'''' ... ''''

Fuck.

In the end, the rice is actually quite delicious, and we promptly devour it in a matter of minutes. Elysia and Stella also enjoy the sausages a lot. After our bellies are filled, it's time for the brain to activate.

''Naru~! Are you there?''

''What?''

Oh, she really comes.

''Can I have a few questions?''

''Speak.''

''Why are we treated this nicely? Or is this a first-time thing?''

As I point to the empty paper bags, Naru appears to be deep in thought for a moment.

''You don't have to know it.'' She shakes her head. ''Stay put. Your verdicts will be given soon.''

With that, she goes away again, leaving us with practically no clue to work with. Still, we now know that there is something strange about our arrest. From the way the prison guard was reluctant to hurt us physically, and now, the meal...

No way in hell would a prison treat criminals this well.

For now, though, I think we should reevaluate the plan.

''What do you think we should do, Emy?'' I ask my lover with a serious face.

''Sleep.'' She immediately replies—with a serious face.

''Agreed.''

Right about time, I'm feeling sleepy.

Just like that, we once again hug our daughters to sleep, not before modifying the bed to fit our preferences. Scouting or whatnot, that can be done after a good sleep!

When I open my eyes again, I find myself not lying in the same position, as if I've turned toward the ceiling. On my torso rests a dangerously cute girl who's fully diving into my chest. I guess she inherits this from her mom.

keng—! keng—! keng—!

''Meal time!''

Oh, I guess it's dinnertime.

Clumsily, I begin to separate this creature from my body and put her beside the other one. Then, I trot toward the bars, half-awake, half-asleep, humming like an idiot. That is when a tray of four big ramen bowls enters from the small gap below.

One whiff of it is enough for me to tell that these will be absolutely delicious. Like last time, there is extra stuff in two of the bowls as well. I guess they love my daughters.

''Enjoy it.''

''Thanks, Ms.Prison Guard... Wait.''

Snapping back to reality, I belatedly wipe my blurry eyes and look up after realizing a strange voice. Sitting outside the cell is not the prison guard that I know, but an alluring woman with slightly bluer skin, blue hair that flows like water, and cyan eyes.

''...Mermaid Queen?!''

The woman sighs lightly, holding a wry smile.

''You really like to make a ruckus, don't you?''