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Chapter 8: Fool's Day, Night

Chapter 8: Fool's Day, Night

The Blakely household was well used to hosting Jerry Martin, and he slotted in easily alongside us for dinner. I could tell Alyssa desperately wanted to push for the details of my List, Jerry’s List, Danielle’s List and newfound friendship, and absolutely everything I’d overheard from anyone at school that day regardless of whether or not she knew them, but she restrained herself thanks to the dual presence of my Mom and a guest. Not that Jerry really qualified for that title with how often he came over, but he did artfully deflect any and all List-related questions whether they were aimed at him or not. His general antipathy towards all things fated was well-known, and Alyssa wasn’t enough of a bitch to push him on it.

That protection unfortunately did not extend to my newfound friendship with Danielle. My Mom was equal parts elated and terrified by it, wanting to be proud but dreading that being acquainted with a rich heiress would make me a more desirable kidnapping target. Dad looked like a buffering connection; his face was utterly blank, waiting for the information to process before his reaction could load. Alyssa and Jerry had taken it upon themselves to tease out every kind of reaction they could possibly get from me, and not even Mom’s renewed anxiety could keep her from the timeless task of mothers everywhere: embarrassing their sons.

I groaned at the fifth insinuation that Danielle and I were having a torrid love affair. “We’re not attached at the hip.” I grumbled. “I literally just have her phone number.”

Alyssa gave an exaggerated gasp. “You have her phone number?”

Mom tapped a finger against her chin in mock thought. “I’m not as hip with the lingo as I used to be - is that first base or second?”

“Please stop.”

“Just remember to use protection!” Jerry cackled.

“I hate all of you.”

“But you looooove Danielle!” Alyssa’s face had never looked more punchable than in that moment.

Thankfully there were only so many innuendos that would be tolerated at the dinner table, and implying I might mention a few of the juicier ones and their origin to Danielle the next time we spoke had Alyssa stopping short in barely concealed panic. Did it feel good playing the Harp card? Not with the knowledge of how rough Danielle had things with her parents. Was I above doing it again? Hell no. It was one hell of a shield.

At some point in the evening, Jerry had decided he was staying over tonight, which saved me the trouble of trying to force him to do just that. Whenever I knew his mom was going to see Carol the fake psychic, I’d try to have some kind of diversion planned as soon as possible. A trip to the water park, going to Richmond or Charlottesville for the weekend, even something as simple as a day-long movie marathon. He needed to be distracted, otherwise he’d blow up on his mom and try to make one of his own. No one needed another of his impromptu wilderness survival trips on their conscience.

This did lead to my inevitable second cornering for questions, this time without parental controls active. A gossip hound sister and needling best friend were potent forces that would not be denied so easily. I stepped back into my room to face the inquisition.

“Brother mine.” Alyssa had her hands steepled in front of her mouth and had positioned the chair next to my illuminated desk lamp. Very dramatic, classic mastermind pose, two points off for being in pajamas, eight out of ten. “Will you cooperate? We have ways of making you talk.”

“They’re mostly ventriloquism tricks, though.” Jerry may have been trying to present himself as the good cop, but came across more as the lazy cop sprawled on my floor. “Good enough for the talent show, but we’re not ready for the state fair yet.”

“Fine, fine. The sooner you ask, the sooner I can have my peace.”

“I knew you’d see things my way. Question the first!” Alyssa dramatically gestured the lamp in my direction. “What is your first point?”

I just paused and raised an eyebrow. “Really?” Jerry showed his support for me by slowly shaking his head.

She had the audacity to pout. “It was worth a try. Miss a hundred percent of the shots you don’t take, blah blah blah. Fine, then how did you suddenly get all buddy-buddy with Danielle Harp?”

I shrugged. “Neither of us were exactly eager to spill our guts in those discussion groups the school does, so we both went to the library. She was looking for books behind the computer cubicle I was using, and we just got to talking.”

“Just detailed enough to be the truth, just vague enough to be completely unsatisfying.” Jerry presented his judgment.

“I agree with my esteemed colleague.” Alyssa nodded solemnly. “Elaborate.”

“How even?”

“Who started the conversation?”

“She did.”

“Oh-ho! And what, pray tell, did she say?” Alyssa smelled blood. I had to downplay this somehow or I’d never live it down.

“I was reading about history.” I explained slowly. Technically true! “She was curious as to why that topic on a day where everyone else was looking toward the future.” Maybe not her thought process, but believable enough. “I said I was curious which actions in the past were influenced by a point on someone’s List and ended up making a huge impact today, even if the point itself was something obscure or innocuous.”

“Hm.” Alyssa narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re still hiding something, but I am a generous god. I’ll let it go for now.”

“Praise be.” I deadpanned, sitting on my bed and nudging Jerry with one foot. “Why are you going along with this? Weren’t you all ‘don’t tell me any secrets’ earlier today?”

Jerry sniffed. “I’ve grown as a person since then, and I ask that you respect that.”

“Sure, Jan.”

“Such callousness from my own best friend. My heart breaks, and later I shall cry tears of unfathomable sadness.”

“Nevermind all that!” Alyssa cut in. “How did a little history conversation lead to you getting Danielle Harp’s phone number?”

I sighed. “It’s really not that big a deal.”

“Then you shouldn’t have a problem telling us!”

“But it’s not all my story to tell.” I paused, looking for a delicate way to phrase things that wouldn’t just end up making Alyssa more curious. “Danielle… with her family, she doesn’t really have a lot of friends our age, and her parents are big on scheduling and responsibility and all that. I think Fool’s Day being so unstructured at school made her wonder what to do with herself. So what could’ve been a five-minute aside about random history speculation turned into an hour-long conversation about the philosophy of hardcore Fulfillers and books we’ve read in the past.”

Alyssa seemed to deflate. “You’re really no fun, you know that?”

“Sorry that my life isn’t a neverending font of drama for your entertainment.” I said dryly. Blessed silence only lasted a moment before my phone started ringing and Alyssa perked right back up. I groaned. It wasn’t Mom or Dad, Alyssa and Jerry were literally in the room with me, so the most likely caller was…

“Hello?” I answered, because like hell would I let it go to voicemail, I’m not a monster.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Connor.” Danielle’s voice was soft and breathy. “Thank God you answered. I don’t know what to do.”

If there has ever been a more terrifying sentence than Danielle Harp admitting she didn’t have a plan, I don’t know what it could be. I stood up and began pacing just to bleed off some nervous energy. Possibilities flashed through my mind too quickly to grasp on to, leaving me with the most basic of basics: ask for more information.

“Take a breath. What’s going on?” I tried to make myself sound confident. Jerry and Alyssa were both now looking at me wide-eyed, Alyssa motioning that I should put the call on speaker. I shook my head at her. Until I got some kind of explicit permission, Danielle’s secrets were safe with me.

“I debated it, but decided I should inform my parents about my first tick mark.” Mildly terrifying for me, but her choice. “I only came to this decision after we’d already eaten dinner, so I went to meet them in the study and tell them.” She took a deep breath. “I overheard them first.”

“And they said something that made you change your mind?” I guessed.

“Yes, exactly. They…” She gave an audible swallow. “They were discussing introducing me to the son of Senator Aller. That wouldn’t be so bad, they’ve done that sort of thing before, building connections in high society. But the way they were talking…” She trailed off, and I could imagine her eyes going distant, just as they had earlier today.

“Danielle.” I tried to keep my voice firm, but gentle. “What exactly did they say?”

“They wanted to fake a tick mark meeting between the two of us and use that as a pretext to arrange a marriage!”

I’ve had plenty of complaints about my parents over the years. Mom’s constant nagging about the safest way to do the most insignificant or unlikely things, Dad’s stubborn insistence that the way things worked twenty years ago should still be the standard now, little things like that. My main source for what unhealthy parental relationships looked like was Jerry: a father he hadn’t seen or spoken to for years and a mother who neglected him more often than not to desperately and fruitlessly chase after her own List. Danielle’s parents blew all of that out of the water. Treating her like a possession? Faking a fated meeting? Arranging a marriage for social and political connections? The hand not holding my phone curled into a white-knuckled fist.

“Connor?” Danielle’s voice in my ear brought me back to reality, as I realized I’d been lost in my emotions.

“I’m here.” I reassured her. “Just seething in rage and disbelief. Can we kill your parents, but make it look like an accident? Asking for a friend, who is me.” I’d almost forgotten that Jerry and Alyssa were still in the room until I heard her gasp and his stifled snort.

“...I’m not sure we have the logistical support for that.” Danielle answered, more seriously than I expected. “I was just going to flee the city.”

“That is a duller plan, and therefore much more likely to succeed. Where are we going?”

“We?” Her shock was plain to hear.

“Danielle, I’m going to level with you, friend to friend.” I took a breath and spoke clearly. “You’re wonderful, smart, and resourceful. But you’ve lived in a bubble your entire life, have little to no idea how to interact with the average person, and you’d probably end up right back here and confined to your mansion within a day if no one goes with you to watch your back.”

Jerry and Alyssa were staring at me wide-eyed, Jerry with a smirk and Alyssa just gobsmacked. I didn’t care. I don’t think I had the capacity to care about anything other than helping Danielle out of a shitty situation right then.

“You have your own fate to worry about. I can’t ask you to do that for me.” Danielle’s voice was quiet, almost pleading.

“Good thing I’m not asking.” I sighed. Time for a little white lie to grease the gears. “I’ve been mulling mine over, and I don’t think staying around here carrying on with my normal life is likely to yield a tick mark any time soon. I’ve gotta shake things up. So really, you’d be doing me a favor.”

“Are you serious?” Alyssa hissed.

“Connor? Is there someone else there?” Danielle sounded much more anxious now. I shot Alyssa a glare.

“Yeah, my sister Alyssa and Jerry Martin are both here. I don’t think they’ve heard everything, but even just my side of the conversation has been… let’s call it enlightening.”

“Put her on speaker.” Jerry said.

“Can I put you on speakerphone?”

“Um, okay.” It was odd hearing Danielle sound out of her depth. I didn’t care for it. As soon as I hit the icon for speakerphone, Jerry jumped in.

“So I’d like to put down my support for the murder your parents plan.” He said nonchalantly. “I have extensive experience in demolitions and getaway driving.”

“Mr. Martin.” Something about Jerry’s lackadaisical attitude must have had a stabilizing effect on Danielle. “I don’t believe accidentally making a smoke bomb in chemistry qualifies as demolitions expertise.”

“Who said it was accidental?” He snarked back. “But you’re going with the boring plan anyway. How are you getting out of town?”

“I admit I hadn’t thought it through.” She sounded sheepish. “I just called Connor at the first opportunity.”

“Usually not the best start to a plan.”

“Thanks Jer, really feeling the love.”

“But in this case he has backup, so good call. Alyssa, any thoughts?”

“Um.” My sister was probably suffering emotional whiplash. “My car is probably too distinctive. Plus Mom and Dad would have questions. Sorry.”

“It’s quite alright, Alyssa.” Danielle seemed to be regaining her composure now that we were actually planning. “A car probably isn’t the best idea, anyway. I wouldn’t put it past my parents to track the license plate.”

“I thought only the police could do that?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t put it past them.” She repeated.

“Fair and terrifying, thank you.”

“What about flying?” Alyssa asked. “I can probably swing you a ride to the Richmond airport.”

Jerry hummed. “It’s a nice idea, but probably even easier to track than a car. Plus TSA gets super vigilant about kids our age around Fool’s Day.”

“The train.” I said confidently. “There’s an Amtrak station in Charlottesville. Remember when we took it to Philadelphia a few years back, Alyssa? Way more relaxed than a flight.”

“Yeah!” She agreed. “Plus it has a bunch of stops along the way. If you want to throw them off, just buy a ticket somewhere far along the line and get off before the end!” Jerry nodded and pulled out his own phone, presumably looking up train schedules.

“I admit I probably wouldn’t have thought of that.” Danielle said quietly. “I’ve never been on the train before.”

“You and most Americans, I think. Don’t sweat it.” I reassured her.

“I really don’t know what to say. Thank you doesn’t feel like enough.”

“You can start by saying where you want to go.” Jerry cut in. “Your best bet is probably New York or Chicago, plenty of stops along the way where you can get off if need be. Long rides, though, so pack a good bug-out bag.”

“Chicago.” Danielle answered almost immediately. “Most of my parents' business is focused on the east coast. I stand a better chance of not running into one of their connections in Chicago.”

“Three tickets from Charlottesville to Chicago, then.” Jerry said. I nodded, then froze.

“Three?” Ah, Danielle had picked up on it too.

Jerry snorted. “Did you really think I was gonna let you two ride off into the sunset without me?”

“I mean, yes?” I said.

He shook his head. “You are not leaving me out of an ill-planned adventure. It’s the only way I can fulfill my life’s dream of being the comic relief in a coming of age Fool’s Day story.”

“I sincerely hope you have a better reason than that, Mr. Martin.” Danielle admonished.

“Fine.” Jerry’s tone was snappish. “I’m already an accomplice thanks to this little planning session, everything Connor said about you not lasting long on your own applies almost as much to him, and maybe my own goddamn List is driving me away from Glenbrook.”

I looked at him askance. “I thought you didn’t care about your List?”

He sighed. “Just because I don’t like how some people make it the center of their lives to the point of obsession doesn’t mean I’m not gonna peek at the little cheat sheet fate made for my life. That would just be stupid.”

“Well… I’m not gonna say we couldn’t use another pair of eyes watching our backs. But it’s your choice, Danielle.” She was risking the most, I thought, it only made sense that she have the final say.

“Then I suppose three tickets to Chicago it is.” She said firmly.

We were all silent for a few moments. This was really happening. My life had already been turned upside down twice in the past twenty-four hours, and now it seemed ready to go on spin cycle until I couldn’t remember which way was up anymore. Mom would be worried out of her mind and Dad would probably close in on himself. Danielle’s parents would either try to cover up that their daughter was missing or go no holds barred sending private investigators after us. Whatever worries I’d had last week paled in comparison to the smallest ones I had now.

I gulped. “We’re really doing this, then?”

“You don’t have to come-”

“Danielle, I’m not letting you do this alone.” I cut her off.

“And I’m going to make sure you two actually live to tell the tale.” Jerry said.

There was silence from the phone, then a choked sob. “Thank you, thank you both.” The sheer gratitude in those words caught me off guard. I knew Danielle wasn’t the emotionless ice queen she was often thought of at school, but I still wasn’t used to hearing that kind of raw emotion from her.

“Well, this is both the stupidest and most exciting thing I’ve ever done.” Jerry proclaimed. “Let’s go have ourselves an adventure.”