“You’re unsettled.”
Well, the psychic cosplaying as an accountant wasn’t wrong. I’d been off-kilter when I dove into this shop, not knowing what it was. A couple cryptic comments in that dry, matter-of-fact voice had only increased that feeling.
“Wow.” I couldn’t help it. Apparently I had depleted my supply of fucks left to give, as my voice was dripping with sarcasm. “You must be psychic or something.”
If he was offended, he didn’t show it. He didn’t show much of anything, really, just continued in that same infuriatingly flat tone. “Evasion and defensiveness as your first reactions. Increases the probability of you being a true Nexus by three point one percent. Thank you for your contribution.”
I snuck a glance behind me, but to my dismay I could still see Mr. Creep leaning on the wall of a building across the street sipping a cup of coffee. I cursed internally. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I had no choice but to pick the rock for now. If worst came to worst, I could high-tail it out of the shop and run for it. At least accountant mystic hadn’t started going off about his habit of smelling florists. Though maybe I shouldn’t generalize; he could very easily be more into tasting baristas. Wait, that was even worse.
“You have questions, even if you will not articulate them.” His voice interrupted my spiraling thoughts yet again, and I glared at him. His face still hadn’t moved an inch. “You will not always have the chance for answers.”
“Sure, this might as well be happening.” I grumbled lowly. “What do people even usually ask here?”
“Irrelevant, as you are not usual.”
“Thanks, I think?”
“It is not a compliment nor an insult. Merely a fact.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. “You’re a psychic that deals in facts?”
I was fishing for a reaction, but he didn’t even give me a nod. “Numbers are my preferred medium. It is difficult to make them lie.”
I snorted. “Lies, damned lies, and statistics.”
“An unfortunately common saying. Also a lie in itself.” He still hadn’t moved a muscle. I was starting to think body control was a core tenet of this cult. Actually, that was worth clarifying.
“Are you with the Hierophants of the Zodiac?” I asked.
“I did not approve of the name. It is grandiose and overlong.”
“So that’s a yes.”
“You already knew the answer.”
“I suppose I did.” I thought for a moment. “Why is Mr. Creep out there watching the street? To keep me from leaving?”
“I very much doubt that Richard knows you are here.”
“Then why is Dick keeping an eye on your door?”
“He may not know you are here, but he does possess some ability to sense the currents of Fate. It is telling him to wait and watch, so he shall.”
I shook my head. “Doesn’t seem like the most exciting point on his List.”
“His List is uninvolved.”
That got my attention. “But Fate is involved?”
“Fate has never been restricted simply to Lists.” He said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It really wasn’t.
“What is a Nexus?” I pivoted.
“A connection, center, focus, or causal link.”
“Thanks, Merriam-Webster. What did you mean when you called me a Nexus?”
“You are a central focus.”
“I’m an eighteen year old guy who’s getting sick of your cryptic bullshit.” I muttered.
“Apologies.” He said, not sounding sorry at all. “Would you like me to quantify it for you?”
“Right, numbers are your thing. I’m almost afraid to ask.”
“Then do not, and live the rest of your life wondering.”
“Weaponizing FOMO, classic psychic bullying tactic.”
“I am merely presenting both options to you. Ask or do not.”
“Fine!” I practically shouted, a hundred percent done with this guy no matter what numbers he was about to spout. “Quantify all this bullshit about me being a Nexus.”
“Based on the eddies I have observed locally this morning, there is a seventy-nine percent chance that a Nexus has recently arrived in the city. Based on your previous encounter with Richard and making your way into my shop, there is an eighty-four percent chance that you are the Nexus in question. Additionally, there is a sixty-eight percent chance that you have already had at least one statistically unlikely but fortuitous encounter within the past three days.”
“I bet you tell that to all the suckers.” I deflected even as my mind conjured up images of Rodney on the train and Danielle in the library. Was that really something related to this Nexus business or was it more of a psychic telling me what he thought I wanted to hear? I didn’t buy this explanation about forces of Fate outside of Lists. It sounded too tailor-made to prey on my specific vulnerability. But how did he know about it in the first place? Was it something he would say to any fresh-faced teen after their Fool’s Day?
“I simply answer questions as I am asked.” That damned impassive voice made it hard to judge his intentions. “I aim to present the most accurate numbers, though the shifting currents of Fate do demand a certain degree of ambiguity.”
I scoffed. “That’s certainly a convenient excuse for you.”
“View it how you will. It does not change the facts.”
“And what are the damn facts?” I practically yelled at him, rapidly losing patience with all of this.
“It is a fact that you have found this shop despite not seeking it out. It is a fact that you only began gaining interest in actually asking questions once I mentioned that there were powers of Fate that exist outside of Lists. It is a fact that you have not once asked for any clarity on points of your own List despite that being what seventy-three percent of all young people would do when given a free impromptu psychic consultation.”
“Maybe I’m proud to be in that minority.” I put on a haughty tone, thinking of what Jerry would do in this situation. “I’m not like other girls.”
“Perhaps.” It was impossible to read this guy, but I didn’t have high hopes of him believing my slapdash excuse.
I sighed, looking over my shoulder once more. Mr. Creep was still there, but it was getting close to the time we were supposed to meet Rodney. I still didn’t know where Jerry had gone, Danielle was alone in the park if another creep decided to harass her, and I had spent entirely too much of today talking to cult members. I was just gonna have to run for it.
“He will not pursue you.” My head snapped back around to the mystic accountant. “That time in the current has passed. Go, Connor Blakely. We will meet again.”
My blood froze in my veins. “How do you…?” I was sure I hadn’t mentioned my name. No one in Cincinnati should know my name outside of Danielle and Jerry. I hadn’t even told Rodney my real last name. How did some psychic cult know it? Well, there was the whole psychic aspect, but I knew that was just smoke and mirrors. It had to be.
The stoic man’s facade finally broke, and I really wish it hadn’t. A knowing smirk spread across his face, and despite him not leaning forward or back at all I swear most of his face became shrouded in shadow while his glasses caught the light harshly. When he spoke again there were overtones to it and whispers tugging at the edges of my hearing. It was like his words were being mimicked by a chorus of spirits of all shapes and sizes, oddly melodic yet haunting and utterly unsettling.
“The Hierophant sees what is hidden. The Zodiac reads the cycles. The Nexus will raise others, but fall alone.”
I turned and ran.
Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.
----------------------------------------
One of the best things about being in a city was that so much behavioral weirdness was overlooked. A teenager running like a bat out of hell would draw glances, but no one really went out of their way to stop and ask if I was okay. I wasn’t, for the record, but not in a way that I could explain without sounding even crazier than one of the cultists. Actually, did their words putting me so on edge make them more or less sane? Freaky either way, but probably even worse if they were actually on to something. I didn’t want to fall alone. I had to trust that Danielle and Jerry and even Rodney wouldn’t let that happen.
I was breathing hard and there was a definite stitch in my side by the time I made it back to the park. I didn’t care what the mystic accountant said, I didn’t trust Mr. Creep to not follow me. Even if the currents of Fate didn’t demand it, it was a new personal policy to not trust the intentions of a man who admitted to sniffing florists. A very specific policy, but I felt it was both relevant and necessary.
I spotted Danielle on the bench I had left her, and she looked tense. There was still no sign of Jerry and only ten minutes until Rodney had said to meet. I frowned. I’d managed to be accosted and have extended conversations with two cultists in the time it took Jerry to pick up coffee? It didn’t make sense. Had another one gone after him? Were they targeting unaccompanied teens? Had Danielle’s patented ice queen stare managed to drive them off when they went to approach her? This was supposed to be a simple meetup with Rodney to get the lay of the land in a new city. I was beginning to think that nothing was going to be that simple when I was involved anymore. Was this a Nexus side-effect or just bad luck? Was there a difference?
I shook my head to clear those errant questions as I made my way over to Danielle. None of them had satisfactory answers right now. I didn’t know if a Nexus was a real thing or just the buzzword that the mystic accountant figured would hook me in most easily. I wanted to believe it was the latter, but there was something in those last words he’d spoken that had put all my hackles up. It was like being face to face with an apex predator and knowing instinctively that you were outclassed. Something primal and almost unknowable. It was terrifying.
Danielle perked up as I sank back onto the bench, but the groan that I let off dropped the hint of a smile from her face. I could see her eyes flickering over my form, taking in the sweat, the slightly disheveled clothes, the heavier than normal breathing. It was only a few seconds before she spoke.
“Did you get into even more trouble?” She accused. I winced. Her words had more of a concerned undertone than a playful one.
“In my defense, I did not not know the shop I ducked into to avoid Mr. Creep was the cult headquarters.” I weakly replied.
“What.” Her voice was granite. “Who do I need to kill?”
“No murder, our alibis aren’t nearly solid enough yet.”
“That’s the only reason.” She uncrossed her arms and softened her tone. “Are you alright?”
I waggled my hand back and forth. “More freaked out than anything. No physical harm, but psychological trauma is a hell of a drug.”
“You don’t have to tell me.” She said sympathetically. “But someone once told me that friends will listen if you need to vent.”
“That person must have been very wise and extremely handsome.”
“Indeed.” She said it so matter-of-factly that I had to blush a bit.
I sighed. “I want to say it was just your usual psychic manipulation. Couching everything in vague aphorisms, telling the customer some of what they want to hear but leaving them wanting more, dangling a bit of mystery in front of them and letting them hook themselves on it.”
“You want to say that.” She pursed her lips. “Is it the truth?”
“That’s the part I’m not sure about.” I lowered my voice. “This guy was a lot more even-keeled than Mr. Creep. To an almost scary degree, just dry monotone almost the whole time, spouting off statistics that he might have made up but sounded convincing anyway. That part I could handle, just a different way to present the mystique. It was the last thing he said that sent me running out of there.”
“What did he say?” Her face was alight with concerned curiosity now.
“It wasn’t even what he said, not really. It was how he said it.” I rubbed my face in frustration. “I don’t know if I can put it into words. It was like suddenly we weren’t the only ones in the room. There was something echoing his words, something I could hear but also feel. I want to believe it was just some weird voice changer and thermostat adjustment, but I can’t be sure.”
She put a hand on my knee in comfort. “However I can help, I will.”
I gave her a grateful smile. “Thanks. There is one thing, something he said that’s probably nothing but we can definitely do something about.” She gestured for me to go. “He called me a Nexus, and said that I would raise others but fall alone.”
Danielle blinked. “Well I certainly don’t plan on running off any time soon.” I knew that she wouldn’t, but it was still reassuring to hear it, especially after hearing Jerry’s current point and not knowing where he’d gone off to. “A Nexus? I’ve never heard that term before.”
“Me neither, but I haven’t put a lot of stock in psychics in general.” I scowled. “Bad experiences.”
She gave a slow nod. “Something we can research, maybe. If he emphasized it, it’s probably not an unknown term in those circles.”
“Yeah, but it’s exactly the kind of vague but mystical and important-sounding thing they’d tell anyone gullible enough to believe them.” I said bitterly.
“Be that as it may, it’s still a point to start.” She had that determined expression that only came with having a problem and knowing your first step to tackling it. “If we can’t find anything on it, that still tells us something, doesn’t it?”
“Guess so.” I huffed. “I’m just getting tired of being in the dark.”
She blinked. “I get the feeling this isn’t just about the Nexus vagueness.”
“It isn’t.” I tried to put my thoughts in order. “And it really isn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things. I mean, we’re in a town we know next to nothing about with no permanent housing and the likely possibility that we can’t use our real names for anything or your parents’ private investigator will find us and drag you back home. Probably try to get me and Jerry arrested for kidnapping while they’re at it. Next to all that, it’s just a little insecurity.”
“But it’s something that’s bothering you anyway.” She said simply. “And talking about it might help. That’s all I need to know.”
“You are too good for this world.” I said sincerely. How did someone so kind come out of such a suffocating home life? I dropped my voice a bit, not that I thought anyone was eavesdropping on two teens on a park bench. “It’s the Listlessness.” I hoped that phrase was innocuous enough to not attract extra attention just in case someone did overhear. People still said it, though it was a bit archaic now that List had become the ubiquitous global term. Much more common to hear people talk about being lethargic or sluggish than imply anything about the List. It was bad karma, supposedly. I didn’t think mine could get much worse, though, so fuck it.
“I know they’re usually vague.” I continued. “And fulfilling some points isn’t exactly easy. Hell, my sister waited two years for her first tick mark. But it at least gives some kind of direction, doesn’t it?” I looked Danielle in the eye. “Yours gave you a little encouragement to bust out of your shell. Alyssa’s nudged her towards being around family and not rushing off to college immediately. Jerry didn’t want to follow his, but it found him anyway and now he might be following his second point.” She frowned at that, but I went on before we could open that can of worms. “I don’t have any of that. I’m grasping at straws here. The best I can do is support the people around me in fulfilling their points. And I’m happy to help, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just…”
I sighed. “After Alyssa got her List, I kinda saw that they could be a double-edged sword. She was so excited to become an adult before her Fool’s Day, wanted to go as far as she could manage from home, experience something completely different. She talked about going to school in New York City or Boston, going somewhere completely different from Glenbrook. When her first point basically told her the polar opposite… well, those first few months were hard for all of us. It made me throw out a lot of my long-term planning. If my List could upend things so casually, shouldn’t I wait to see what it comes up with before getting attached to anything?” I smiled ruefully. “It seemed like a good idea at the time, and now here we are.”
“Here we are.” Danielle echoed sympathetically. “But I believe you’re missing the keyword in that sentence: we.” She shook her head. “I can’t begin to imagine what that is like for you. Your attitude followed conventional wisdom, to prepare in the background but not to settle on any firm plans until receiving your first point. You did everything right and now it feels like it wasn’t worth anything. At the very least, that’s a feeling I’m becoming well acquainted with myself.”
“Misery loves company.” I gave a mock toast with an empty hand. Why did Jerry have to disappear? Adrenaline was not a substitute for caffeine. Not long-term, anyway.
“I don’t believe this qualifies as misery per se.” Danielle mused. “Misery was knowing that no matter what I did, my life would be seen through the lens of my parents. Misery was not having real friends, just subordinates and superiors. Misery was hiding my emotions and questions from people more interested in image than substance.” She blushed. “Sorry, I don’t meant to make this about me.”
I waved off her concern. “If anyone has a right to complain, it’s you.”
She frowned. “I’d say the same to you, but I doubt you’d believe me.”
I shrugged. “It feels different. Yeah, I’m kinda lost, but it doesn’t hurt or anything. Just confusing, that’s all.”
“Don’t downplay it.” She gave me a look that was somehow both stern and soft. “You expected something and didn’t get it. You’re allowed to be disappointed, especially when everyone around you seems like they’re moving forward while you can’t.”
“Yeah.” I said quietly. “Yeah, that’s exactly it.”
“But it’s not.”
I blinked. “What?”
“You want to know what I think?”
“Sure?” I asked, now slightly off-balance.
She grabbed my hand and gave it a comforting squeeze. “I think you can move forward in whatever direction you choose. I think that’s what’s scaring you more than anything. You have a frankly ridiculous number of options and nothing stopping you or pointing you a different way. A completely blank slate and no prompt. It’s terrifying to pick up that pencil and make the first mark, but it can be liberating if you let it.” Her cheeks pinked a bit, but she kept her eyes on mine and I saw nothing but sincerity in hers. “And I know I need a little liberty in my life.”
My mouth was dry as I responded, moisture stolen by a heady mix of gratitude, hope, and hormones. I couldn’t quite keep the tremor out of my voice. “How did you get so wise about all this so quickly?”
Her blush deepened and her eyes finally left mine, finding something interesting over my shoulder. “I may or may not have spent years reading articles on friendship and watching kid’s shows in preparation.”
I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing. “That,” I chuckled. “That is such a you thing to do, oh my god. Never change, Danielle. Actually, no, keep changing. New Danielle is awesome.”
She grinned. “I’ll do my best.”
I returned her smile. “You always do.”
A pointed cough brought us back to the real world, the two of us practically flying apart and whipping our heads around to find a smirking Rodney pretending to nonchalantly examine his fingernails. “Hey kids.” He said with poorly suppressed amusement. “I was supposed to meet three little scamps here right now. You look an awful lot like two of em. Seen your long-lost siblings anywhere?”
Danielle at least regained her composure quickly. “Hello, Rodney.” She greeted.
“Hey, Dani-girl. Dig the new look. Staying out of trouble?” He drawled.
“Unlike this one.” She shot back, gesturing to me.
“It wasn’t my fault.” I muttered.
“Ha! I believe it. Where’s the last of your trio?” He asked.
That brought me up short. Just where the hell was Jerry?