Chapter X: Visions
After dinner, everyone scattered. The dining hall felt empty without our parents.
Nelya was trying to focus on her studies, since she still had a life ahead and couldn’t succumb. Thinking about it now, the strength of that girl was incredible.
I was playing with Milo on my bed when she stood up and closed her notebook, sighing.
“Can’t focus?” I asked her.
“How can I focus on those stupid numbers?” She replied, sitting beside me and increasing Milo’s amusement by adding her hand. “I’m not in the mood at all.”
“It will all pass, Nelya.” I said. “Actually, you’re being very strong.”
“You are as well. That moment when we were under the tree...was one of the first times I saw you crying that hard.” She smiled bitterly.
I shook my head. “No. I’m not as strong as you. Trust me.”
Nelya suddenly hugged me. My heart thumped as I looked at Milo, which was rolling around the sheets. Then, he suddenly stopped and looked at us, almost as if he understood what was happening.
Then, Nelya released me and cleared her throat, staring in my eyes. “Lillya, can I ask you something?”
“What is it?” I chimed with a soft tone.
“Why did you try to kiss me?”
My heart almost fell out of my mouth, I swallowed and took a deep breath.
“Why are you asking me this?” I muttered.
“Because I want to know. That’s all. Many things happened and I want this one to get off my head. Please, just tell me.”
“I don’t know. I am so sorry...I...I just wasn’t thinking straight. I was trying to stop that-”
I held my head, looking straight in her eyes.
That buzzing in my head.
It was still going. It was haunting me even more after I killed my own mother.
“That what?” She grabbed my hands, putting them down.
“That...pain.” I said. Something random I could come up with in mere seconds. “I just was trying to do something that could distract me from dad’s death.”
Which was true, in a sense.
“Hm.” She sighed, rubbing her thumb on the back of my hands. “I understand. So...you won’t do it again, right?”
“No. No. I’m so sorry…” I shook my head, my eyes started burning as I held back my tears.
“It’s okay. I forgive you.”
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‘’Come to me’’
She called for me again.
I carefully slipped out of the covers, trying to avoid waking up Milo.
I arrived at the balcony and saw her sitting at the usual chair. She smiled at me as she sipped her usual wine. Everything was getting way too familiar and usual. I hated that.
“Oh! My, my. We have a guest.” She suddenly said, looking behind me.
I turned around and widened my eyes. Milo was staring at the witch, his fur then hissing loudly...his fur bristling profusely.
I looked back at the witch, which started to grow less amused and more annoyed by the creature. “Hmpf, what a stupid creature. What is that thing angry for?”
I looked at the two of them, confused. Did Milo really see her as a threat? If he was, he was really smart.
I tried to walk towards her at the table, but Milo walked in front of me and meowed, blocking my way. I crouched and petted his head, sighing. “Milo, please be good. I have to talk to her...or she’ll hurt me.” Then, he looked at the witch once more, before hissing one last time and running behind the corner of the balcony’s entrance, peeking at us.
“Good. Now, sit. We have to talk.” She said, tapping her hand on the table. I obeyed. “I must say that while I liked your performance, I didn’t like how you made it out of there by the skin of your teeth. If your mother had told her you were under the bed...you would be undergoing eternal suffering right now.”
I held my head and sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“I told you to be quick, yet you hesitated even in your own bedroom while grabbing the knife. You almost got caught.” She added. “I will not tolerate further, risky behavior. Do you understand that?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Good.” She placed the empty glass on the table and cleared her throat. “Erika is going to target Katherine. She probably thinks her attempted suicide was my pawn trying to escape from me and guilt.”
I widened my eyes. Did I really have to kill Katherine next?
“How can you be so sure?” I asked her.
“Do not talk until I’m finished, you stupid insolent!” She retorted, glaring at me. “I’m so sure because I am perfect and I never fail! Also, I know Erika way too well.”
This again. She seems to know Erika a bit too well. First, she said Erika envies me for a reason which is none of my concern...and now this.
Who was Erika, really? She seemed too perfectly matched with the witch’s predictions.
Sadly, I wasn’t in the position to discover truths or make questions at all. I could but theorize as my family’s demise slowly approached.
“What you shall do is simple. Frame Katherine and make Erika discover her and think she’s my pawn. At that point. I will observe her behavior and actions against Katherine...and when I will be done, you will kill Katherine several hours later, not staging a suicide.”
The witch wanted to see what Erika was planning against the culprit anyway. It wasn’t like she could tell the whole family about it, because it would have just made her look crazy.
I was curious too, to be honest. Erika had been acting all determined to catch us but I didn’t have a clue on what she was planning to do.
“How...how do I do it?”
“You will figure it out.” She plainly replied.
“N-No! I can’t!” I shook my head desperately.
“Yes, you can, you stupid puppet!” She slammed her hand against the table. “I can’t always think by myself! You’re in this too.”
I flinched and mewled, nodding slowly. “O-Okay.” Then, I tried to change subject. “A-Also...isn’t it a bit risky to keep talking here? Erika can sense you, right? Why don’t you just tell me everything through my head, just like when you call me?”
“First of all, I would know if Erika was approaching this area of the mansion, and I would tell you to leave before she could see you. However, this isn’t even necessary. Erika can’t sense me anymore, trust me. See it as if I changed my perfume. Moreover, I can’t talk to you through your head because you would literally explode. All I can do is send you commands. What you hear is not my speech, but an inner voice commanding you.”
“A-Alright.” I shrugged. “Then we’re safe, I guess. I just don’t...want to be found out because we talk here.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not an idiot, unlike you.” After getting up, she walked towards the railing, staring at the moonlight. “Also, Lillya...you should embrace that feeling you have for Nelya. It’s normal, since I created you. It’s nothing like you think.”
“What do you mean…?” I muttered.
“I mean that you shouldn’t hold back...”
image [https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/sg4jkwxnuil3ty9yizae8/_furudo-erika-artist_missile228-depth-of-field-best-quality-illustration-am-s-2378904941.png?rlkey=hqxtzbf2q5jf0dkyfe7fa5fs4&raw=1]
“She’s going to die, after all. Why don’t you just rape her before it’s too late?”
My stomach churned as I repeated her words in my head.
It was too much – I couldn’t just stand there and listen to what she had just said.
“You...you wretched witch!” I got up, grabbed the glass of wine and threw it at her, feeling pure rage.
“Oh wow…” she looked at the glass pieces, which shattered right beneath her feet. “...that was unexpected. And so pathetic. You better sleep now, Lillya. Tomorrow you have a lot to do. And please, do it right this time. I wouldn't want to torture you for eternity because of your incompetence, would I?"
And then she disappeared.
“Ngh…!!!” I stomped at the ground, holding back my tears. Milo finally got out of his corner and rubbed his body against my legs, purring and meowing softly.
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I had never seen a gloomier Friday.
Nelya used to be so happy when school was off, and we could play all day without a worry in the world.
But after what happened, everything changed. And so she was studying even that afternoon.
I realized it was my best chance to act.
I left my room silently, Milo coming after me as always.
I had to think of a way to make Erika blame Katherine for a murder. So I started pondering as I walked.
I had to frame her in such a way that pointed the culprit of the first official murder towards her, but in a subtle way. Erika was good at seeing false evidence, after all.
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Then, I suddenly heard noises from William’s room.
God wanted me to hear those noises, apparently. Because what I heard next, made me picture my whole plan.
Moans.
My young, innocent ear heard moans coming out from William’s room. They were muffled and confusing, but they were the moans of a woman. My blood pressure immediately rose up, and my mind started to frantically wander.
Was it a woman she brought at home after helping out Rosie at the shop? Or worse, was it a maid?
I completely forgot about what I had to do and listened. I felt curious, honestly...but also crept out. My dear, older brother, indulging in such acts despite being one of the most faithful followers of the church made me uneasy.
After a while, all the noise stopped. I heard William muttering something...and then footsteps. Footsteps towards me.
I quickly jerked away from the door, taking a few steps back and readying a fake pass-by walk.
The door opened, and my heart shattered.
image [https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/ozuod17tgg4jnh30ksqe5/artist_missile228-depth-of-field-best-quality-illustration-amazing-highres-s-3142754733.png?rlkey=nv4ot5u2epwk4avee5gv1nnb8&raw=1]
“Ah! Lillya...hi!”
Rosie buttoned her dress, her face colored by a faint red.
My mind went blank.
How could it be? Why?
It didn’t make any sense.
I was disgusted by myself already, even if I wasn’t related by blood to Nelya. And then...this happened.
“Are you okay?” She asked me, kneeling and brushing her filthy hand across my arm. “You don’t look so good.”
“I’m okay.” I nodded, forcing a smile.
“Good.” She chimed, standing up and going about her day...as if nothing had happened.
I stared out of the window, my heart raced as I processed the truth.
What did our family become? I asked myself.
Something I had to erase, apparently.
Something filthy, cursed.
Something with no future.
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I knocked at Katherine’s door gently.
It was afternoon and Katherine hadn’t come out of her room all day. I know that for a fact, since our rooms were adjacent, and I kept my ears opened for any sound of her leaving.
I figured she was taking a break from action...if she was the culprit, that is.
Nobody answered. And so I knocked again insistently…
“Kath. Everyone is worried about you. Why don’t you come out?” I asked her. “Please.”
At that point, the door opened. Katherine had a gloomy expression on her face, her lips trembling slightly. “What do you want, Erika?” She asked me, hugging herself. Her short, black hair was dirty, messy and unkempt.
“I want to understand what’s going on.” I replied, trying to get in her room. The stench was awful...how many days had passed since she opened that window?
“What do you even mean?!” She replied, pushing me out. “Mom and dad died!”
“Is that really the reason you’re acting like this?”
If she was the culprit, hence the witch’s pawn...then she was going crazy and couldn’t hold her composure. These kinds of questions were safe at that point.
“W-What do you mean…?!”
“I mean if there’s something else bothering you.”
“N-No!” She yelled. “Go away!”
The door almost closed, but my hand stopped it.
“Stop acting like you’re mad!” I exclaimed. “Just talk to me!”
“You’re the last person I want to talk to.” She muttered through her clenched teeth. “You’re selfish. You’ve been always selfish! Why do you care so much!?”
“Because we’re…”
I stopped myself.
I had to keep my mouth shut. The witch probably knew I was aware of her...but her pawn probably didn’t.
“Fuck you!”
She pushed me away, closing the door and locking it.
It wasn’t good. At all. It meant that she was forced to stay silent. I knew the witch’s modus operandi, after all.
Moreover, that was the final proof...she really had another reason to be this freaked out and traumatized. It couldn’t have been anything else but...the witch.
But how can I extract more from her?
I stood in front of her room, thinking. Then, I heard some footsteps.
I turned around and saw Lillya, marching past me. She looked angry and disappointed. Did she have a fight?
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
She looked at me and stopped.
“Nothing. Why?”
“You look angry.”
“Well, how would I not be?”
image [https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/edq9dbys8yofsellg689i/artist_missile228-depth-of-field-best-quality-illustration-amazing-highres-s-524849129.png?rlkey=v1py10rm0s72u158d8gaa9ks2&raw=1]
I stayed silent and furrowed my brows.
That sentence rubbed me wrong. She didn’t sound sad, or actually disappointed. She sounded furious. Her expression was eerily blank.
At the time, I thought it was her own way to bear the pain, so I didn’t give it much thought.
What an ugly mistake.
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Milo sat on my desk, refusing to follow me. I held yet another kitchen knife in my right hand as I stared at him.
“She deserves it.”
Yet, he meowed sadly, moving his little paw toward me, trying to stop me again.
“She’s filthy.”
But he turned around, looking out of the window, at the moon.
“She needs to die.” I told him.
He stood still.
And so I left my dear sister alone in her room, walking through the darkness.
I felt sick, absolutely sick.
How could they do such a disgusting thing right after our parent’s death?
I wanted to kill William too, but he wasn’t going to go down so easily. He was a soldier, after all.
I banged on her door with the knife’s handle. She was located next to Ferya’s room, on the other side of the mansion and on a completely separate floor. She chose that room by herself, since she was the only girl that was around the house at the time...she wanted to stay away from males because she felt uncomfortable.
So uncomfortable she fornicated with her own brother.
I banged on the door again, and it finally opened.
She looked at me with a drowsy face, rubbing her left eye.
“Lillya? What are you doing here?” She asked me.
“Rosie...I-I had a bad dream. Can I talk to you about it?” I asked her.
“S-Sure! Come in, sweetie! Come in!” She stepped aside and let me in, rushing at the switch to turn the lights on.
''Calm down, Lillya! Calm down! Don't do it!''
I hid the knife behind my back as I sat beside her at the edge of the bed. She rubbed my shoulder, looking at my face so intensely she wasn’t noticing the cause of her death.
“What did you dream about? Tell your big sister…” she smiled at me reassuringly.
“I dreamed of a really disgusting, vile thing.” I started, gripping my knife. “You and William were naked. And you were committing a sin.”
She immediately went pale. I was happy about that.
“L-Lillya...what…?” She muttered. “How…”
“I heard your disgusting voice, sister.” I smiled at her bitterly. “And then you came out of that room, and touched my arm with this filthy hand!” I added, slapping her hand on my shoulder.
“Lillya…” she repeated my name. “...I-I can explain, okay? We were very stressed out and while we were talking about the family he-”
''LILLYA! STOP!''
My blade sunk in her stomach. She spat blood all over herself, her pupils stretched. She stopped talking, freezing in place.
And so I slid the knife out, pushing her on the ground. I looked at her squirming, out of breath because of the shock. She stared at me in the eyes as I crouched, hovering my knife near her throat.
“Die, sister.” I muttered. “May God punish your sin.”
But right before I could end her life, her survival instincts kicked in. She kicked my stomach with force, making my body fold as I fell back on my butt. She tried to get up, moaning and mewling, falling on her knees barely after one step. The door of her room was so close, yet so far.
I immediately rushed over her, straddling her body and pushing my knife inside her back. She tried to scream, but I shut her mouth with my hand as I pushed the knife down.
She angrily rolled on her back, with the knife still deep in it, I fell to the side and got overpowered by her bigger body. She held my neck, squeezing it...crying as she kept pinned and choked me.
But soon, the life in her eyes faded. She had two fatal wounds, after all. Her body collapsed over mine, her weak breath tickling my ear as she strove for her life.
Then, it stopped.
Finally free from her weight, I pushed her aside and got up, rushing out of her room after turning the lights off.
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After having a quick bath and changing my clothes, which were just a new pair of underwear and a different nightgown, I opened Katherine’s door using the master key that Kruz carefully had in his own room.
To my surprise, she was awake. She was hugging her own knees on the bed, looking down.
“Lillya…?” She muttered, widening her eyes as she looked up.
“Katherine. This is how things have to go.” I immediately said. “I’m sorry.”
“N-No…” she shook her head, staring at me and then my knife…its blade shining under the moonlight. “...please...don’t hurt me!” She exclaimed, crawling backward, ending with her back pressed against the windowsill just above her bed.
I walked towards Katherine with deep breaths. I was used to kill...I just had to do it once more.
"LILLYA! NO!!!!"
“Please...I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have looked at you! I know! I’m sorry!” She whispered, tears falling down her cheeks all of a sudden.
“Hm?”
I stopped.
What was she talking about?
“You...you’re the girl in white. I thought you were her but...I felt stupid! I thought she was just in my head but...a-ah...I’m so sorry! I’m sorry! You are real! Don’t kill me...don’t kill our family!”
“The...girl in white? What are you talking about?”
“You smiled at me...and said that thing. I didn’t understand and ignored you! Please...tell me! What did I do wrong? Why did you kill my parents?”
“What…what are you talking about?!” I asked again.
‘’Lillya...! Answer my commands! OBEY!"
The witch’s commands were harder and harder to suppress. But I resisted. I needed to know.
“You told me that thing...and then mom and dad died! Why?! Why are you doing this?!”
“What did I tell you!?” I asked her, trying to keep my voice down.
‘’KILL HER, LILLYA!’’
Then, Katherine recited some words.
Some words I wish I had never heard.
image [https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/7mivtvnvc26imt52pc70j/Progetto-senzffffffffa-titolo.png?rlkey=3cj8geub3wh1q4dv4kplr9beh&raw=1]
image [https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/xdqmrhzwqrp09z6gs7hdu/You-will-not-suffer-anymore-1.png?rlkey=jlsvnn6j9glbq5bdi3t84v2s9&st=7prt00mp&raw=1]
“Ngh…!!!”
A sudden, piercing pain stung the back of my head.
REMEMBER OUR PROMISE.
REMEMBER ME.
WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?
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> “Why? Why did you do this!?”
>
> “Because I want you to be happy.”
>
> “How can I be happy after *** ****** ** ******?!”
>
> “You will understand.”
>
> “W-What?!”
ONE DAY.
YOU WILL UNDERSTAND.
THIS,
IS HELL.
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I opened my eyes. Katherine’s dead body lied there. The knife in her hand, as if she slit her own throat. Blood all over her clothes. I was breathing heavily, my heart raced.
‘’Get out of there, Erika is going to check this room!’’
I quickly got up, almost tripping. I left Katherine’s room in a hurry, rushing inside my own before Erika could notice me.
I held my forehead, sliding down the door. Milo looked at the moon, just like he was doing before I left.
What did I just see…?