Chapter VI - Aftermath

My chest felt heavy. My head had this constant buzzing that wouldn’t leave me alone.

I stared at Nelya as she silently did her homework. I was sitting on the bed, looking outside. The rain wouldn’t stop, it kept pouring all day long.

I killed my father, I told him everyone hated him right before his death.

What was in that book? Why did the contents make him look so shocked...and especially sorry?

The witch was hiding a lot from me. And I could but listen to her and shut up. I was a mere puppet, and I could only await her orders.

I was nothing more than that.

I was nothing.

I held my head, squeezing it tight. I wanted my brain to just melt.

Oh, how beautiful would it be if I just could kill myself without repercussions.

“...llya.”

I just wish I could disappear. Sleep forever. I can’t do this anymore already.

“Lillya!”

Her sweet, tender voice filled my head as she grabbed my arm. Nelya sat right beside me, her eyes showing concern.

“N-Nelya…?”

“Are you okay?” She asked me, holding my hand.

I stared at her, swallowing hard.

I wanted to tell her everything. I wished someone would just help me. But I could only nod, the buzzing in my head incessant.

“It’s okay.” She hugged me tight, sniffling. “I know it’s hard. But we have to be strong for mom, okay? She only has her children now.”

I would have never expected such wise words from a simpleton like her. Dad’s death really took a toll on her childlike personality.

I don’t really know why, but then somehow...I linked this thought of hers with adulthood and realized she wasn’t a little girl anymore.

And so I did something that I regret to this day.

I left her embrace and looked at her again, she smiled at me faintly, trying to suppress her own pain while taking care of mine. Then, my eyes looked at her lips.

I grabbed her shoulders and tried to push myself on her, dragging my lips against hers.

“W-What are you doing!?” She pushed me away, squealing. I stared at myself looking at our left at the mirror. I was shocked. Then my fearful eyes met hers once more. She stood up, backing off with a disgusted face as she cleaned her lips with the sleeve of her dress. “D-Did you just try to kiss me? W-What’s wrong with you?”

My brain wasn’t working. No. I didn’t even have a brain. I was a stupid, brainless puppet. What I did was trying to make that buzzing go away with the first thing I could find – Nelya.

I stood up, the corners of my face felt cold while my ears burned. I wasn’t even processing the meaning behind my actions clearly, feeling completely lost.

I walked out of the room, not spewing another word.

The witch chuckled right behind my head as my heavy feet dragged my numb body across the corridor. Wet, cold darkness shrouding me.

And then I saw her.

Erika.

She walked right past me, the book right in her arms.

I carefully froze in fear without her noticing me, staring at her back as she entered her room, locking it shut.

She found it...and it was clear that she knew it had to do with dad’s death.

I immediately started trembling right then and there, being almost certain that the witch would have punished me.

I should have hid it! I’m an idiot! An idiot! Now Erika is probably suspecting someone killed him...yes! She found out!

“It’s all over...it’s over...it’s over…” I muttered, holding my head, darkness covering the edges of my eyes, horror clouding my reason.

“Hey Lillya.”

“Hm?”

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. It was William. His eyes were still red and swollen, but he was smiling. He crouched and brushed my arm slowly, sighing deeply.

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“You okay there?” He asked me.

“N-No...Will...I’m not okay…” I started crying again, his arm wrapping my cold, frail body. “...I’m not! I’m not!”

“Shh…” he held me as my knees gave up. “...don’t cry, girl. I’m here.”

I sobbed in his strong arms. How wonderful it would have been if he just punched the witch in the face, or wounded her with his spear.

Sadly, she wasn’t an enemy soldier, nor was she human.

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The rain finally stopped.

I was hugging myself as I watched Nelya’s sleeping body. She didn’t look at me for the whole evening, as the other family members quietly ate supper without uttering a word. Mom even skipped dinner.

That day was awful, and it wasn’t certainly going to end there.

I was terrifyingly waiting for her call, for her punishment. I was sure that Erika had bashed her head against that book for a long time, trying to figure out who was the culprit of a clear murder.

"Lillya, come."

And so, she called. My whole body jerked, as it felt a whole tingle that was both fastidious and pleasuring.

My joints creaked as I moved towards my mistress once more.

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“Kyahahahah! What a good puppet you are! You carried it out perfectly!”

Despite all my fears...she cackled audibly, clapping her hands.

The the air around had a wet, cold breeze that made me shiver. I sat at the table, looking at her with surprise.

“Why don’t you celebrate your victory with a sweet, sweet glass of wine?” She said cheerfully, pouring down the wine inside the single glass. “It’s not poisoned this time, I promise.” She added with a soft chuckle.

“You’re...not mad?” I asked her, swallowing hard.

“No? Why would I?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“E-Erika...she found the book.”

“Oh! Yes, I know. My eyes are everywhere, after all.” She closed her eyes, moving her hair gracefully with her soft hand, her long, pointy and red nails shining brightly with the moonlight.

“And...i-isn’t that bad? She probably realized dad was killed.”

“Oh, yes she did. In fact, I can show you what she’s doing right now.”

She suddenly moved her hand around the table, forming a sphere imbued with thick, dark substance. I could see Erika in her room, as if there were eyes attached on her ceiling.

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“Hm…”

I examined again the contents of the book.

They were real. Dad’s writing is not easy to imitate, and only he could know such private, deep stuff about himself.

The witch probably controlled the culprit with this...and I found it in his study because that same person confronted him about it.

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“She’s...examining the book?” I muttered. “Why? W-What’s in there?”

“Oh, right. I did tell you not to peek.” She suddenly remembers. “I only hid it from your cute eyes because I couldn’t risk your poor heart to fail by checking the contents before you did what you had to do.” She explained. “But well...now that’s all done and finished, you can know the truth.”

“What’s in that book?!” I asked her, trying to put my face closer to the sphere...but it was all blurry, and the candle Erika was using didn’t produce much light.

“Your father’s lover letters.”

“W-What? Lover?”

“Indeed.” The witch looked far in the woods, sipping a little bit of the wine she offered me, since I wasn’t going to drink it any soon. “Your father has been betraying your mother since he retired from business. He had a lover he exchanged letters with...and that book was the hiding place. When you showed it to him, he realized he got caught. He looked sorry and shocked for that reason.”

I couldn’t think straight.

I wanted to get up and beat her up, but I feared punishment...so I only glared at her.

“How dare you...to tell such lies?” I gritted my teeth. “D-Dad would never!”

“Hoh? He would never, hm?” She asked. “And what was that expression, then? Can you explain to me why he had such a pale face, you stupid, ignorant puppet!?”

She slammed her fist on the table. I was making her angry. I immediately cowered, shivering in fear.

She had to be right, though.

He said ‘’he could explain’’. He looked in utter despair.

She, unfortunately, was probably right.

“S-Sorry.”

“You better be. I, for what it’s worth, do not lie. Never.”

She sighed, absorbing the black sphere in her hand. The black magic she used looked so surreal…but at the same time, I somehow felt ‘’used’’ to it.

She stood up and walked across the balcony, leaving her red wine at the table, she beckoned me with her hand, leaning against the railing.

I was then beside her, looking right down at the deep, dark woods.

“Anyway. Erika will probably think it was your mother.” She plainly says.

“W-What? Really?” I looked at her with worry.

“Yes. She’ll connect the dots and realize that your mother may have killed your father because of infidelity.”

“Hm…” my gaze fell down again. “But...but what if she thinks its me?”

“Why would she, dear puppet?” She asked, running her pointy, red nails along my scalp. My whole body shivered comfortably, even if her touch should have been cursed.

“Because...well, she has always said that I have a bad aura!” I replied. “I don’t think it takes a genius to realize that as soon as something cursed starts happening...the culprit probably is me.”

“Hmpf, you are very naïve, dear puppet.” She chuckled. “Erika doesn’t deem your ‘’aura’’ as bad. Did she perhaps connect the ‘’bad presence’’ she has been feeling with yours?”

I shook my head.

She was right.

When Erika told me about the ‘’ghost’’ she was sensing, which was the witch, she didn’t even mention a possible connection between that and me.

“That’s right. Because Erika, while she may be rude and call you a curse, nourishes a great envy towards you.”

“Envy…?”

“Yes.” She nods. “But it is nothing of your concern!” She immediately changes tone, smiling at me. “Let’s talk about your next move instead, shall we?”

What was really going on?

The witch, while treating me as her reliable pawn, was choosing what to tell me and what to hide. There had to be a reason.

Anyway, I squeezed my eyes and nodded.

I was bound to kill again. All I was waiting was for her to choose the next victim.

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That was it.

I read the last letter, analyzed orthography, manner of speech, stated facts.

“The letters were authentic. Dad clearly did what he did and there’s no mistake in that.” I muttered.

I stood up, taking a deep breath as I put the book in my drawer, finally unclasping my dress.

I searched for my nightgown, as thoughts in my head swirled around, making me furious.

The witch could have only manipulated ONE person to kill by using that book.

And that person was mom.