Liam’s isolated room towered above the surrounding woods, but it wasn’t alone, eerily tall trees, identical to his own, towered above the forest’s canopy. The strange mix of fauna reminded him of Avignon, where the tall blackwoods mingled with the more mundane coniferous trees of Greenwood. Small growths could be seen on the trunks, and as Liam observed them he noticed people coming and going between the trees. His own was located on the absolute edge, the last tall tree before a mountain erupted from the earth and towered into the sky. So tall that its peak was hidden behind distant clouds. Though he caught a glimpse of something enormous disappearing into those same clouds, carrying an elephant in its left claw.
A literal elephant.
“Oh shit.” Said Liam.
Compared to the elephant the winged creature was enormous, so large it would have made a blue whale look like a salmon. Assuming that the elephant was identical to earth elephants. It was holding it in one talon, making the creature large enough to be a flying Empire State building.
“What the he–” began Liam.
“Meow?”
Liam spun. Muscles creaking in protest of poison. Aiming a finger at the noise and finding a sabertoothed serval peeking around his open front door.
Its head was cocked to the side, looking at him with a curious expectation, as if asking ‘what are you doing hooman?’ Liam cocked an eyebrow at the cat.
“Meow?” He said.
“Meeeeooowww.” It replied.
“Great, I’m in the boner tree talking to a cat.” Groaned Liam, feeling incredibly out of place. “Whatever, are you here to eat me or be the welcoming committee?” Asked Liam, receiving a softer ‘meow’ from the serval, who approached and rubbed against his thigh, its tail swishing uncomfortably close to his face.
For a glorified housecat, these servals were absurdly long. Not thick like a lion or a tiger, but slender, like a savannah cat. Its legs were less than an inch thick, but seemed to go on for years. With a coincidentally similar pattern of black strips across yellow fur with a sprinkling of dots to further break up their outlines.
“Alright fine.” Said Liam, scooping up the cat and took a seat on the bed, covering himself with the blanket.
The serval curled into a tiny ball, hardly two feet wide and began to purr. A sound of contentment that seemed to bring relief to Liam’s aching body, washing away the agony of his muscles with each headpat he gave the cat.
I’m being anesthetised by a magic cat in the boner tree. Wow, I should make a game of clue. No one would ever guess that.
A half hour of petting later and the cat wandered away, exiting via a window and walking down one of the rope bridges that connected the tall trees to each other. Liam watched it go, deciding to follow. Right up until the moment when his sore legs reached the rope bridge. Wooden slats were connected by more of the wicker viagra-vines, but that wasn’t what stopped Liam.
What gave him pause was the amount of slack in the vines, the whole bridge was sagging, as if the bridge was meant to be a slinky, expanding and contracting as the trees swayed in the breeze. It was so flexible that Liam looked behind him, wondering if he could climb down the tree Tarzan-style, or summon a column of quartz to act as an elevator. But no dirt answered his call, and creating the dirt from nothing would be precarious, especially since he couldn’t see through the canopy of lesser trees. For all he knew this was a skyscraper and the forest version of Manhattan lay below him. Dropping a two hundred foot tall quartz rod would be an unwelcome spectacle at best, or a fatal hammer at worst. Nor were there vines to use as handholds, for the trunks were bare, except in places where a branch extended or a building had been carved into the tree. Or where sporadically placed awnings and porches sprouted from the wood. Carved with life magic, or an eternity of patience.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
“Meow.”
Liam looked up, finding the serval sitting on the circular porch that the bridge connected to. He could have sworn the cat was taunting him, smiling at him with its eyes closed. Like a kid making a cheese face for the camera.
You little nerf-herder. Thought Liam, returning inside the tree and tossing it for clothes. Where he found a more suitable tunic, underwear, and loose fitting pants. They were undyed, ugly, and entirely utilitarian, but they were glorious! Finally covering his stiffy. Newly clothed, Liam took hold of the rope bridge and found the courage to cross.
It was surprisingly stable, though he never allowed either hand to stray away from the support ropes.
“Meow.”
The serval prowled away, leading him through the maze of viagra trees on an ever descending path. Each rope bridge led them to a shorter tree, until they dipped below the canopy, entering a world Liam had only conceived of in his dreams and moments of despair. The last bridge vanished into the canopy and Liam had to duck to avoid the leaves as he chased the serval. Its tail flicked, giving Liam just enough of a yellow wand to chase as his eyes adjusted to the shadows beneath the canopy. Around him the smaller trees grew fat, with stout trunks that people walked between, felinids and elves mingled openly. Even warmly in places, Liam caught sight of a sabertoothed panther as tall as a horse, possibly an umbraquin. Who was walking across a vine supported platform without drawing a second glance.
Liam froze. There were felinids everywhere. Many wore collars or necklaces, but these were decorational pieces, not the thick steel bands of enslavement, though he saw several of those present as well.
An odd fashion choice. Maybe they’re just uncomfortable without being able to feel something around their necks? Oh dear. That’s gonna make some fetishes a problem–
Not my business, no one needs a Lightning Lord in the bedroom.
Without a second thought he found his way down to the main level. Unlike the taller trees these thicker trees were connected by short wooden platforms that seemed woven together. Flexible enough to survive the worst storms, yet strong enough to support human weight without breaking. It was a living road… Able to repair wear-and-tear or any structural damages like gaps or cracks…
Ah crap. You put lines in concrete so it cracks in specific places. Our quartz road is gonna be a disaster in a few decades… Realized Liam, suddenly remembering something from earth. He’d once driven across a desert highway, and the interstate had been built on a massive pile of gravel and road base material, hard enough that roots couldn’t penetrate the base and animals couldn’t undermine the road. Something they hadn’t done with the quartz highway. He’d have to get a message to Owen, but that could wait until he got back.
Presently, he approached a man wearing a slave collar, one whose magic was still intact.
“Hey, why are you wearing that collar?” Asked Liam.
The man’s brow furrowed, looking at Liam like he was an idiot. “Come to mock your lessers elf?” Spat the man.
He was standing with four felinids, all men who wore no decorations on their necks. In fact, they wore low cut shirts with wide collar-gaps, as if they meant to display their bare necks. One glance told Liam he had walked into a cultural SNAFU. One he knew nothing about.
“Uhm- that’s not what I– ooooofff!”
Liam staggered as a weight landed on his shoulders. He stepped forward, conjuring a shield of darkness around his left hand and a blade of fire in his right.
Then a yellow and black tail swished across his nose.
“You little meowing turd.” Muttered Liam, dismissing both spells. “What is with you! Half the time you’re running away but if I try and say hello you pounce on my head!”
“Meow.” Said the serval, licking Liam’s cheek.
“Ugh.” He grumbled, giving it head scratches.
The serval was just too cute. He glanced at where the men had been and found the four of them kneeling in front of him, ears flat, heads tucked, as if they were wincing away from him.
“My lady! Sir battlemage! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean any offense.” Shouted the collared man, drawing the attention of a dozen passersby.
Okay… I’m not a lady… Did he mean the cat? She’s cute, sure… But a serval is your lady? Oh boy, I'm in a weird place. Maybe they worship cats like Egypt did? Thought Liam.
“Uhm, look, I don’t know how I got here. Someone drugged me and dumped me in the tall trees,” Liam gestured back the way he’d come, making the passing felinids suddenly lose interest and walk away, walking faster. As if everything that came from the taller trees was toxic.