Michael

There was a time when men of action abound throughout the world, when life was hard and shit was real. A man used to smoke his joint and live his life enjoying the high using it as medicine to be more efficient in activities. Nowadays people are soft, smoke their joints and lie thinking about how tough they are, thinking about the hard lives they are living, fantasizing about all the great works still ahead of them.

We've all turned into fancy pants philosophers instead of the real men our ancestors were. The hard earth isn't breaking our backs and bestowing godly punishment handed on Adam anymore because we've fucken' by-passed the backbreaking part of eating. Our constant hunger isn't natural and it isn't so that we eat and became strong and healthy, no. Its so that we labour the back-breaking labour needed to make the earth ready for producing what we need, constant food.

Its been a long week for me somehow and I can't point at one thing particularly draining that I did with my time.

I called Alice, we spoke about finalizing the divorce and our lawyers were supposed to meet yesterday. Maybe that has me drained but it was a mostly amicable conversation considering she's finally freeing herself of me.

I drove James to school on Tuesday and Wednesdays and drove him again Thursday with a group of his friends. I'm thinking of sending him to a public school next year, I think he's enjoyed his life of being coddled enough and now needs to learn to toughen up a bit. Have a perspective in which he is able to contrast between the life of a trust-fund kid and the life of an average public school attending kid.

Grandfather doesn't agree, neither does Alice judging by the tone of her reply on the text I sent but fuck them. Alexandria is a child psychologist and she says its important that children struggle and overcome early in life so as to be more goal-oriented as an adult and value shit more.

At least she said in passing when we had coffee the other day.

Her kids have turned out great as well and though James is great now, I don't want him to turn into one of those junkies said to have had 'potential' and 'bright futures' had they not gotten into drugs or made bad choices like a lot of these private school kids are nowadays.

A public school with a good reputation and stella academic records but a public school overall. He'll have a tutor as well just to make sure his grades don't take too much of a dive but a kids needs to learn more than just books in school.

What else did I do this week?

Oh, I emailed back and forth with Master Yoshi's friends, they're all overseas I was surprised to find out. One is in Mumbai, the other in Tehran and the last in Beijing. The old man expects me to head on a trip to all those cities for appointments with these people.

And fuck it, I'm doing it. I needed the break from my regular routines anyways.

I'm now lying on the floor of the company jet on my way to Beijing to meet with Dr. Whu at Guang’anmen Hospital of China Academy of Chinese Medical Sciences. A mouthful to be sure by yea, that's were my first stop will be.

"Are you sure about this trip Michael?" Edgar asks lying next to me.

"Yea, why do you ask?" He usually needs someone to dig his thoughts out of him, especially when he's high. Has a tendency to turn introspective and shit and reticent with his thoughts.

This is some really good shit, heavy but very light on the palate. We probably shouldn't be smoking in the plane, I hope the pilot doesn't make a fuss.

"I mean you've been through all this before man. The doctors, the medicine men, the healers. You're in great health sure, but you're not gonna ever walk again man," he looks away as he says it.

I digest that a moment before I can respond. "The first time around I had this hope that maybe one day I could walk again."

I pull a drag from the joint he passes me and blow out the smoke smoothly before putting it on the tray the flight attendant holds out.

"Sure even now I sometimes fantasize about somehow having a miraculous recovery and against all hope walking again. But mostly I do all this shit now to learn and to edify myself spiritually. To be the best self I could become in the short years I have in this world, you know?

"I lose nothing by going through all the things Yoshi has cooked up with his friends and neither do you if you join me. I'm not even losing time because life is about moments. And these moments I'm in I'm living to the fullest my guy."

The rest of the trip to China is mostly in silence but I think about what he said.

I'll never again walk.

‎

At the Academy we meet a team of young doctors apprenticing under an old short man with white hair who turns out to be Dr. Whu. An honorary doctorate in the art of acupuncture. Interesting idea but okay...

After meeting the team I am immediately taken for fresh xrays and an MRI before being taken to the acupuncture room. I am then stripped and made to sit up straight by straps helping me hold myself up.

The master/doctor begins at my face. Talking in Mandarin to his students the whole time, who are taking notes and one recording a video.

I've researched acupuncture some. The needles are micro thin and need to go in the gaps between axons, at least that's one type of acupuncture. I'm not sure what this man is doing because his placement isn't always symmetrical. Maybe nerves aren't aligned in symmetry.

It takes a while and I start sweating at some point. From my face to my head, to the back of my ears and neck, to my shoulders and down he goes sticking needles with care all over my body. It takes a while and I have to remain still the whole time.

With needles swaying lightly before my face. Very long needles, longer than I have had before.

He eventually, painstakingly slowly gets to my lower back and starts speaking loudly. Buckets of hot stones are brought and the room suddenly becomes a sauna as salted water is continuously poured on the stones, hissing and producing steam.

I'm sweating and not the only one half naked by the time he is satisfied. Speaking whiles talking to me as though I know what the fuck he's saying.

A water bottle is squeezed into my mouth a few times and everyone suddenly gets up and leaves. My face is twitching and I'm starting to regret coming here but I take the embarrassment of not knowing what the fickle is going on.

The old man stays another hour with me, talking and meditating and talking. Pointing at points on himself and on me. Trying to explain something.

He eventually leaves as well, taking the cartether on my cock with him. Fucken' old man.

I stay there is an upright seated position I don't know for how long but eventually they return taking all the needles out and unstrapping me. Lead me to a shower and I clean myself before leaving. I'm told to be back in 6 hours, I consider not coming back, but fuck it.

Six hours later its the same shit but now I'm in a contraption that holds me up facing the ceiling as the old man goes over both my back and my front. I have never even read of any of this shit.

Needles long enough to go straight through me but so thin I hardly feel them fill my body like a pincushion. From above my eyelids, my cheeks, to shoulders, armpits, under ribs, elbow, hands.

Especially my hands, the old man went a bit psycho on my left hand in particular. I have something close to 60 needles sticking out of my left hand and only around 24 on my right.

He goes psycho on the vertebrae that were injured as well on my T4, and T5. I now have a few screws in there holding everything together and my sacral area also features a multitude of needles.

I think to protest when he starts going to me groin, but fuck it. I've already suffered most of the indignity, I might as well suffer through everything.

It eventually takes 24 hours to finish me off this time. The old man having a break now and again, and I falling asleep or trying to meditate when he does.

I woke up the last time with my feet buried in needles and my legs twitching involuntarily.

My heart starts pounding at that and blood flooding my ears because I had lost all reflex in my lower region. I keep my mouth shut so as not to detract this genius of a man, but for the first time in years I'm hopeful.

Twitching is a reflex motion, and though I still can't feel a thing having reflexes it a good sign, a very good sign. I am left again in a steaming room but this time over night. I endure it eagerly.

Edgar grumbles about my exhausted state on our way to the hotel in the morning and this time I'm given 12 hours of sleep. I shower and sleep gratefully, hopeful for more sessions with Whu.

I do this everyday for 4 weeks, I am already adapt at sleeping through it or meditating through the uncomfortable part of having needles pocked at my dick. I get to know my team a little better, the old man being the only none English speaker.

I call home often and 'facebook' with a few friends. Edgar starts a fling with a nurse who visits him at the hotel after her shifts and stops being as grumpy.

I see twitching in my left foot this time but pay it no mind. After 4 weeks I am taken to a place called Yang et al. Where something called electro acupuncture is performed.

I spend another week there and then go through more imaging machines at the academy before being shipped off to India. I am hopeful yet I dare not hope for anything, I'm afraid of what hope will do to me when it's eventually crushed.

India is a very different place to China and by this point I am just going were I'm pointed to without question. The place is crowded, people stacked on people like a school of sardines swimming together. The scents of sweat, spices and cow dung fill the city streets through the open cab window. Mumbai is certainly an interesting city.

At our destination we meet a lady known as Aesha Amara who tells me she is a spiritual guru. I'm not even sure why I am here but I stay with her a week in a commune type of place that drives Edgar mad even though I told him he could stay at the hotel.

This is mostly about spiritual healing I gathered as I practiced my mantras with everyone else. I don't know whether to call these people acolytes, monks or what but I only stay a week, a good week.

The end of that is the first time I am introduced to the sigils and circles Candice had spoken off. Sigils are painted all over my body, my hands, my face and I sat in a sigil circle to meditate.

I do this for my last two days while fasting. Having my legs forcefully placed into the full lotus and supporting my own upper body with the help of some weights.

The first session I last about 3 hours. I'm an old hand at these thing at this point. Second session I push to nearly 4 hours. Third session it am at 6 hours of a blissful mind before I come fully back to myself.

I'm not sure what happened there, but I tried to memorizes the symbols on the floor and on my skin for my own research but they were too complicated.

Next we're off jet setting to Terhan, a place I had visited previously before with not so noble of intentions with my squad. Most kidnapping missions are classified for some reason though so I try to keep that out of mind.

Here we travel to a very difficult to get to location for a man in my condition. Using a considerable amount of the family funds we're led to a certain mountain village where cleansing can be done.

I am blessed and cleansed at a spring inside a mountain that is believed to be 'holy' or 'sacred' or something by the locals, it doesn't even take an hour to do yet it took over 24 to get here.

The flight home is quiet, I can't sleep. It's been... an adventure to say the least.

The first person I visited is Dr. Foxworthy for a check up.

‎ *

"Lay it on me Doc." I say to her after my scans as she looks at my file.

She keeps adjusting her glasses as she reads everything and I know she got a second opinion, which took another hour. So I'm very optimistic but scared of what she is about to tell me.

"I don't know how to tell you this Michael, but there seem to be some discrepancies with your results." She says shaking her head angrily.

My heart is in my throat at this point and I'm trying to tell myself that even if there is no improvement it was a good trip. I interacted with new people, learnt a bit about new cultures and cuisines. It's not all about healing, I added to the world and the world added to me.

"I'd like you to come back tomorrow for a full battery of tests before I can give you any definite answer to what I see in your scans." She says carefully.

"Good or bad, you should know to be frank with me by now Doc." I say trying to seem as chilled as possible.

"Good." She says with a sigh nodding. "Definitely good, too good to be believable outside of exotic medical journals that no one in the profession takes seriously."

I nod as though I expected nothing else. "I will see you tomorrow doc and we can talk about my scans then."

I leave the hospital feeling great, fulfilled, vitality infusing my body, mind and spirit. There has never been a happier man that sits on a wheeled chair, because now I have hope.

I pick up James from school and we go to the park to throw frisbees. The women with their kids and their dogs think we are cute, its actually a bit patronizing but I don't care. I even enjoyed the attention a little, but I enjoyed the day with my son more.

We speak about him changing schools next year and the reasons why I want him to join the public school system. Not a shitty public school I emphasized. But one where he interacts with kids of different backgrounds.

He isn't happy about that. Sulking the whole way home and saying he'd refuse to go. I know he'll go though, especially if I can get his mom to back me up.

At home I play a slow game of squash with the neighbour, Rob. Most people call him Bob but I just think that's the most stupid name I've ever heard. What the fuck is a 'Bob' anyways?

The strange thing about playing with him is that I sometimes win. Rob being a little wide at the waist, but I'm slowly working on him. Already he has lost 20 pounds since he moved here with his family last year.

"How are the kids Robert?" I ask as we towel off.

This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"Sometimes I think getting wealthy was the worst thing I've ever done to those two. They are little shits I'll tell you." He says shaking his head.

"If I spoke like that to my dad I'd get a backhand to the lip back in the day. Now..." He sighs.

"Anyways how are you doing? I haven't seen you around in over a month. Thought you might have gone to the hospital or something, but didn't want to ask your family."

"I'll make sure to tell someone to let you know when I die Rob." I say and watch his face get red. He thought I was dead, the ass.

"I know a guy that specialises in child discipline, if you're up for sending them to bootcamp for the winter."

"Are you kidding me? Where do I sign!" I laugh at that and tell him I'll email his wife the details.

He's surprised I have his wife's contact details but again he tries not to find me threatening even though he suspects I find her attractive. Because I'm in a chair, I'm basically a dog without teeth, harmless.

Hes right that I find her very attractive though. Trophy house wife that she is, I see more of her than I do of him.

Diner with the family is a bit more lively because Alice has decided to grace us with her presence from New York.

She walks in wearing red heels with straps and peep toes, 'casual' denim jeans with a few patches and a cut knee. Her black leggings visible in the knee gap. Her T-shirt one I bought her at a games arcade a few years back, and tops it all off with a little blazer jacket.

Yea, I hit that. I think to myself as I smile at her, she smiles back between hugging everyone. Then she is off with James to his room for whatever he wants to show her.

I look at the old man watching her ass disappear up the stairs. Then look at his most recent wife trying not to scowl. She's almost 50 now, younger than my mother. But she has been with him for almost 7 years, so she's family now as well.

I have a few beers with Owen, Richard and my uncle, Richards dad Percy. The old dog's nephew from his now deceased big brother. The only one of the extended family the old man tolerates with any grace.

"How did you ever manage to get a woman like that anyways." Owen suddenly asks and its like a dam broke for Richard.

"You know I've asked myself that so many times through the years." He says passionately, looking longingly towards the stairs. I chuckle at that.

"No offence man but you were a soldier for Christ's sake. While we were making money and wearing suits, yet we had to pay for it when it came to women at that level." He says seriously, looking at me as though I have some wisdom to share.

"I honestly don't know man, I see the best in people I guess."

"See the best in people?" Richard says shaking his head. "What does that even mean?"

"You can forget about getting a coherent answer out of this one. Till this day he hasn't spoken about what he did with Amanda Baker, though I saw him get out of her window more than once." Owen says, giving me a scowl before taking a swing of his beer.

"Shit, I remember Amanda Baker. She was a senior when I was a junior and you were what Michael, a sophomore? She was hot."

"I promised not to talk about that, she confided in me." I say smoothly.

"See what I mean?" Owen says without surprise. "And she was known as an unbreakable vault in high school, and this bastard somehow..." He shakes his head and walks away.

"Oh come now don't be like that. Veronica's mother is a sight for sore eyes." I say to placate him. I don't know why brothers always have to compete but Owen seems to have swallowed that belief whole.

"Yea but she is nothing but long legs, a nice ass and a face. No personality to speak off and almost nothing but air between her ears." He says quickly whilst looking around.

I grin at that. Veronica may not get along with her mother much but she defends her like a lioness protecting its cub. It should be the other way around but hey, life is full of wonders.

We spoke earlier and she has been going to the dojo almost daily and the temple once a week. She even stopped bunking school according to Grace. I'm a bit proud of her, she seemed lost and just drifting for a while.

Alice and James eventually come down the stairs hand in hand. I wonder if the kid knows how hot his mom is. I wink at her when I notice James' scowl. She took my side, she feels guilty about the divorce thing so she took my side.

We sit at the table and have a lovely dinner. Conversation light and happy, I bring up Veronica's jujitsu training. To the surprise of most everyone, even Owen. The old man has his spies that keep him informed of most of our movements though.

"How was your trip Michael, you were gone a while this time." Alice slips the question in between bites of salad and sips of wine, sneaky as always.

"It was productive somewhat, sorry I couldn't bring anyone souvenirs, it was a busy trip." I say, looking at her under my lashes, her eyes everywhere but on me.

"Did you visit the Taj Mahal? I hear its a wonder to behold."

"I didn't stay very long in India, not much time to be a tourist these days." I say looking at Richard with a glare.

"What, she asked where you were and your flight plan was kept updated by the company. Should I have said I didn't know you went to India?" He asks with a huff, then hiding behind his glass.

Richard has no spine when it comes to women he admires or wants. His wife must thoroughly dominate him in the bedroom. Everyone that has ever thought about it knows he can't say 'no' to Alice. Including Stacey, his wife, she's a strange one though.

Quiet, mosey, polite, soft spoken most of the time but I've heard her sternly admonish Richard once when I was rolling down the passage. I've never heard that tone from her before or since.

And their kids are only four and five, but too well behaved for their age, and I know that can't be Richard's doing. I'm not sure what to make of her, but we get along.

"How about you Alice, hows work been going?" I change the topic to something she likes talking about and enjoy the rest of my dinner in peace.

After diner its a bit of light talk before those that live elsewhere get in their cars and leave.

"Staying the night?" I ask Alice as I notice her still sticking around.

"The week actually, I need to spend some quality time with James and your mom needs help with some things." She says as we sidle into a corner.

"You still seeing Henry?" I ask and she looks at me, trying to gauge my mood. The thing with her is that she knows me and she knows me well.

Though I've changed a lot since my accident my foundation is still the same, and even if it wasn't, she has been with me for the longest time after any other woman should have left.

I've been paralyzed five years and its only now that we are getting divorced.

"I see him still occasionally, when he isn't dating anyone seriously. How about you, you seeing anyone?" She asks seriously, leaning into me. God, she smells good.

"You forget I'm immasculinated now, if that's even a word. I have no working cock to offer a woman."

"You are so much more than your cock Michael, and there is so much love still in you that another woman can enjoy." She says placing a hand on my face.

"I have enough people to love I think, I love you still, but I understand the need for a divorce."

"And I will always love you, your one of my very best of friends."

"The ink isn't even dry yet and already I'm friend zoned."

"You know what I mean." She says hitting my shoulder.

"When are we officially divorced anyways, it should be done by now."

"I asked my lawyer to hold off from filing." She says looking at me deeply.

"Why?" I ask quietly, not sure what I hope the answer to be but my throat is clogged up.

"I don't really know, I'm not sure I wanna lose you." She says seriously, and I smile at that.

"You will never lose me." I say with a smile, kissing her hand.

She wipes a tear at the side of her face. "Christ, your the perfect guy you know that? I lucked out when I snatched you up." She says leaning forward for a peck on the lips.

Its almost reflex between us, we used to kiss these little baby kisses everywhere all the time. Now, not so much. We kiss quickly and kiss again, and again as tears flow down her face and her chest goes up and down as she sniffles, hiding her face in my chest as she cries.

I hold her as she scoots fully into my lap. I look up to we Veronica giving me a thumbs up held back by James. I ignore them as I use a back way to the elevator.

Once inside she tries to compose herself again. "Sorry about that, not sure what came over me."

God, she's adorable. "Spend the night with me." I say on reflex, something we haven't done in years, but being with Candice showed me that maybe there are other types of sex other than penetration. Maybe I can be intimate with my wife while she's still my wife.

She nods vigorously, and we move to my suit of rooms. She asks to be brought her bags on the intercom and a crisp, "right away madam." Is the response from the butler.

We talk a while and she finds my journal, immediately asking to read it. Which I let her, while going to the toilet to clean myself up, take a laxative, making sure my bowels are empty.

I then shower and return to the sight of her in a sleeping gown grinning at me.

"What?" I ask as I wheel towards the bed.

"I actually thought I trapped you with the pregnancy." She says with a giggle, moving towards me and scooting onto the bed.

"I like your writing, you should keep doing it." She says pulling me towards her and we kiss.

We kiss and touch, and kiss and lick and bite and kiss some more. I can't move my legs but she doesn't seem bothered as much as I feared she would be. She tastes amazing as we groan and moan into each other.

I undress her expertly and explore her wet depths with my hand, she's wet and ready. I direct her to my face and I lick her nectar for a taste before gorging myself on her sweet pussy.

I make her come over and over again. Latching on even as she tries to pull away, closing her legs begging me to stop.

I ease her back into it, until she is wantonly fucking my face for all she is worth. Everything about this woman is great.

We eventually calm down and cuddle into each other. Her warm naked skin against mine. She falls asleep in my arms and I'm happy. What more could a man ask for?

I wake up in the middle of the night and crawl into my chair then go to the toilet to make sure everything is still cool. I can't wet my bed now, not after such a good night.

I put the cartether in and let it drain the urine. Thank the Lord I woke up, otherwise I would have definitely wet the bed. I shouldn't have had that beer.

I wheel myself back to the room and watch her lying there, semi covered by the blankets. I grab my camera from the wardrobe and take a few pictures of her for my forbidden album.

I go to the computer, boot it on and upload them immediately. Deleting them from my camera memory. I look at the journal and decide to write some about Henry, and how I met the man.

*

The guy was fucking my girl and there was nothing I could really do about that, it was just a fact. It was just before I quit the service, when me being away had become too much for her.

Looking at him with his nice cars, nice suits, straight white teeth I saw some of what had attracted her to him. The guy was handsome, young and rich.

An accomplished young man from a wealthy family but still bright enough to be independently wealthy himself. Running a multi billion dollar corporation, while his older siblings and cousins joined the family business, mining.

The mad has a PhD in philosophy, a Masters in psychology and was awarded an honorary doctorate in business economics at NYU.

I approached him as he struggled to light a cigarette at the corner outside the restaurant. Having watched his habits enough to know he would be here.

"Here." I say pushing a lighter close to his face.

The only sign of surprise is the slight raising of his eyebrows, as he looks at me. Then he lowers his face and pulls on the cigarette deeply.

"Thanks." He says as he blows out some smoke.

"Bad habit. But at least you aren't perfect." I say, lighting my own.

We stay silent, slowly smoking in the corner as the sleet that is suppose to be snow falls slowly on the street around us. People finalizing their Xmas shopping, but the streets mostly empty of pedestrians.

"Nice lighter. Marines?" He suddenly asks.

"Army." I respond on reflex, wondering how a lighter I bough State side at the airport could give away my military background.

"So, how do we know each other?" He finally asks as his cigarette gets low.

"What makes you think we know each other?" I ask looking at him.

"You said I wasn't perfect, which implies something made you assume I could be, which means you know me or know off me.

"Your standing here offering me a light, yet there is plenty of street to stand on and you weren't here when I got out the restaurant, so you wanted to talk to me assume. How am I doing so far?"

I nod, I see where the psychology went. Must be good at closing deals. "My wife mentioned you, she seems to think your perfect."

"Oh, whose your wife? And please thank her for me. My marketing department says I should be more of a brand."

I snort as I look at his genuinely displeased expression. The guy is younger than me but has already accomplished so much. I don't even have a house I bought. When in the city we live in the apartment Alice bough and when not, I still live at home.

The guy is disarming though, not what I expected him to be. We have some small talk about the military, then about business, then about sports, then about women, bring us back to my reason for being here.

"So whose your wife? Maybe I might know her."

"Alice." I say, then pause a moment. "Are you fucking her?" I ask. I know he is, but I asks anyways.

He grabs another cigarette, and I light the lighter for him as he pulls. He looks at me with his dark cloudy eyes and says something I didn't expect to hear at all.

"Occasionally, she's nice, a keeper. You're a lucky man." Then he blows out a thick white cloud.

The motherfucker is fucking my wife yet is telling me I'm a lucky man. The audacity, the balls. I grin as I look at him up and down.

"I am aren't I?" I say, thinking about how often she's asked me to quit the service, stay home.

‎ I've put her through a lot, and here this charismatic rich guy offers her a shoulder. Not a bad guy either from the impression I'm getting.

"You know I wanted to break your teeth right?" I ask looking at him.

"I figured." He says, getting rid of his smoke and stepping on it. "Let's be friends instead. I'm Henry Ford, what's your name?" He asks holding out his hand.

I look at it for a moment before taking it. "Michael O'Hare." And we've been friends ever since.

That's also how I discovered I wasn't really the jealous possessive type. Alice saw Henry a few more times after that and the guy told me about it.

I was conflicted but somehow knowing the guy and liking him made me feel better. Not that Alice would have fuck any tom dick and harry, I kinda appreciated that when she did cheat it was with a billionaire accomplished you'd man.

I eventually just invited Henry to a cookout with some of my friends and their wives. He brought a date of course and Alice was besides herself with stress wondering how we knew each other.

Its only after I became a civilian that I told her I knew about the affair, and that I didn't mind as much as I think I should have. It even became a little sex game on occasion, she thought I would be a great swinger.

I told her I don't do married women, and that was the end of that.