Sachihiro
Awakening.
Depending on your spiritual saturation, there are some things you can do and some things you can't do. Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.
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An Awakening can use mana to look outwards and affect the world around themselves, inward and temper their body in preparation for cultivation, or both inwards into ones self and outwards at the world. The result of the last is half as affective at either.
...when you're on autopilot letting the world direct your mind you get a glimpse of things you never knew were things, things you never knew you had forgotten.
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Interpreting emotion as colour across a canvas.
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"The poor creatures think blowing air out of their orifices articulates speaking, surely we have to help direct them for pities sake."
"They hear one of us speak and dedicate their lifetimes trying to convay the utterance of a single meaning in what they call orchestras and symphanies." I over-hear a creature far beyond human imagining says to its peer.
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Grabbing onto that knowledge, that set of experiences is like going to war! It's like listening to smoke, grasping for the horizon fully expecting to hold it in hand and being devastated by the surprise of your failure.
Knowing so much you can hear your cells reforming in a smooth silent conversational symphony.
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Sight isn't even a primary sense at some point, nor even a secondary sense when it comes to battle and movement at certain speeds. It becomes tertiary if that at certain levels of power.
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...its like going your whole life with a certain colour filtered out of your visible spectrum and when its revealed you suddenly realise you've never before seen the colour 'green'.
If you walk your whole life with your eyes closed as your entire species does you never realise you are blind. It is only when your eyes are opened and you see for the first time that you pity yourself as you realise you were blind. How much more don't I know I'm missing, even as I revel in new sensations how much don't I even realise I'm missing still?
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Far be it from me to not believe. You will know the truth and the truth will set you free, but only if you know it.
'You are an eternal being of light placed temporarily in a human body to experience life of the physical realm.' Maybe...?
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"I will show you who you were, I will be shown who you are, I will tell you who you can be." The voice whispers in my chest without sound.
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The lungs are a very sophisticated sponge that suck up the invisible particles of air allowing them to permeate into the bloodstream.
Imagine air is water and lungs do to air what a sponge does to water. Just imagine it...
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Your mind is so fast that as you have a profound epiphany about that, you've already forgotten it because you're brain just can't keep it all.
You leave yourself clues that you hope your sober mind will one day understand when you are back into the physical mind and body, a state of minisculity.
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Could I remember my life? Could any of us? How much of your life can you remember right now?
Do you remember the highlight of your day just 4 days back? Is life being lived to it's fullest if we forget it even as a moment passes? Is the present moment not all we have to live our lives to the fullest of potential? Is there no truth in this random thought?
They say 'walk a mike in his shoe to understand his pain.' The question is would I fit in the shoes I wore two years ago? Would I currently fit into the skin of the person I was back then? How much more another person's skin?
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That moment when you are high and you know you are high, but shit is getting weird and you're still not sure whether you are hallucinating or whether things really are this way and you've just been blind to it the whole time.
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Having a brain explosion of the highest order, wondering whether to sink into it and enjoy it or actively use it to try and retain a piece of the divine permanently in the mortal realm once I return to myself. The temptations in Awakening for the first time.
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When the smallest of things is a divine revelation every moment is both wasted and gives meaning to a life well lived.
When the expanding of capillaries in your feet is an orgasmic experience.
Blood and spirit circulate through me in a rush mixed inseparably with Mana as it fills my entire body prioritizing my mind, my heart, my stomach and my feet. Going secondary to my hands and my lungs before permeating evenly on the rest of my body in bliss.
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Its ironic how it is with eyes closed that we are able to see most clearly sometimes. How much noise sight seems to make, seeming to diminish the urgency of input from the rest of the senses. Walking with eyes closed even grants greater awareness to how you walk to begin with, the gait, the angle of the legs, the slight tilt to the left or to the right that is usually visually adjusted for when eyes are opened.
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There are some memories that the mind disconnects us from and makes us forget for it's own protection. To relieve itself from the sting of the trauma it would otherwise have to face if it remembered vividly everyday life and beyond.
That is why even as pain fades the memory of the pain fades and you slowly start forgetting the intensity until eventually all you remember fully is that a certain experience was painful. This forgetfulness though useful is a weakness, a weakness that may one day be overcome if another safety measure is in place to prevent utter madness.
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I spiral down a very difficult and exhausting path of power, aware of the many vast possibilities all around me and the endless possibilities each of the options contain. I'm tempted to quest into their interesting depths as I understand each deeply with its vast possibilities as I pass it. Mourning the lose of the combinations and the potential of paths not taken.
What am I doing? How could I let such power pass me by for a possibility of an unknown combination of power from an unknown source that doesnt know me or my preferences as a person? Is this not the very definition of utter folly, to trust so blindly when I am starting to realise the ramifications of the foundation set today? Is it even today? Shit! How long have I been here exactly?
Time is an illusion.
The possibilities are endless and I sink into them with a silent scream as I try my best to trust this entity that is beyond me that has been christened 'God' by so many that have come before me.