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Life as a Lvl. 1 Dungeon Mob [Squishy LitRPG]
Chapter Thirteen. Destination Anywhere but Here

Chapter Thirteen. Destination Anywhere but Here

Once the smoke cleared I looted the spider chamber. Under the altar was a single little Canvas pouch containing two whole fucking copper. This dungeon was an embarrassment. I was, however, overjoyed by my new rucksack. I cooked up some Mr. skitter jerky for the road and packed the rest of my gear. I’d be coming out of this dungeon with a grappling line, dagger, torches, kindling, a more dinged up then ever arrowhead of crafting (with Accompanying Sparky rock), and two fucking copper.

The Brazier of Burning Shit Down had started out as much rust as metal. It hadn’t Survived the fire. I also noticed my Dungeon points hadn’t budged. Looks like there was no getting Dungeon rich by going on a slime killing rampage. I had gotten eighty points for ending the enforcer snake but I suspect that had to do with being in a battle pit and that [Fodder Bounty] drawback that had been lurking in my status at the time. The whole point of that place was to power up mobs after all.

I examined the area of the passage. When I placed my hands on the wall the prompt appeared without having to use [delver’s insight].

[Open Passage: Yes/no]

I chose [yes] and stepped back. A small magic circle, much less complex than I’d seen used for summoning, grew on the wall. Faintly glowing lines extend off the formation. Splitting, branching and merging till they formed a square large enough to drive a cart though. Once the greater shape had fully formed the circle at the center began to rotate and the entire marked portion of the wall began to move back.

Stone ground and rumbled softly as the wall slid further and further before coming to a halt with a clunk at some twenty paces into solid rock. Near the back an opening had been revealed in the passages wall. Yes! I had a way out of the dungeon and into the capital D Dungeon.

The passage's text was replaced with the hourglass image. Looks like there was no leaving these doors open by Accident. Needing a connection to the Dungeon and the sheer depth of the passage explained why I hadn’t even heard rumours of this sort of secret entrance. It would take a lot more than an Errant blast knocking down a wall to stumble onto something like this.

I scrambled down the oddly smooth hall and ducked into the much rougher opening well before the hourglass ran down. It seemed the way would be open for at least a minute or two. I waited for the time to run down just to make sure nothing was following me out. I watch the wall slide back across the opening settling in, leaving a deadend with the image of a spider poorly carved into the wall. I flashed [Delver’s insight] at the wall confirming there was a passage prompt on this side as well. Satifed I headed out.

The tunnel was just a single path of bare stone with the occasional patch of more dim-shrooms. I still proceeded with caution but Encountered nothing interesting let alone dangerous. No traps traps, monsters or more hidden doors that I could see. It had every indaction of just being a little used hallway. After several meandering bends i caught sight of light coming from an opening far end of the passage. I hoped I was finally getting somewhere.

~~~~~

The somewhere was a fairly unremarkable natural looking cave. Walls worn smooth and the Occasional stalactite. Some Variety of glowing crystal dotted the wall here and there, providing the light I’d followed. I’d have to keep an eye out for a chunk i could pry free. Being able to save my touch for more Pyromanicial uses would be nice.

Over the entrance I’d just left was another poorly carved spider and beside the door was a sheet of Parchment stuck in place with a wad of familiar webbing. I was quite clearly a A list of provisions made out in sloppy hand writing. I didn’t recognize the language but could read it anyway. Bags of Floor, packets of salt, root Vegetables, something called banger sauce and of crouse kegs of beer. [Dungeon babble] was a hell of a perk.

Stealing someone’s grocery list felt kinda rude but I did it anyway. Parchment was just too potentially useful to leave behind. It got folded up and packed away. I’d have to save some charcoal for writing next time I had a fire. The cave extended left and right with little difference between them, so I took out one of my coppers and flipped for it. The coin said go right, I went left. Like hells I was trusting the luck of one of those fucking coppers.

~~~~~

The cave remained unremarkable as I traveled down it for hours. I passed one or two small divots where it looked like someone beat me to the easier to access crystals but I did spot a patch within grappling range and got my paws on a little piece with the aid of my arrowhead head of crafting. I was quite pleased to see it kept its glow when separated from the wall. I Sacrificed a bit of length from my grappling line and a torch for the stick to make myself a Suspended lantern. Still, For now I had plenty of light so it just went into my Rucksack.

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The highlight of my trip besides Acquiring my new Lantern of glowing was happening across a small puddle under a Particularly drippy stalactite. The water was bitter with the taste of Minerals but refreshing all the same. I also washed the lingering smell of dim-shroom smoke out of my fur. Small Victories. I tried Conceiving of some kind of waterskin with what I had on me but Ingenuity only stretched so far. I added it to my future to-do list and carried on after a meal of mr. skitters jerky.

There was the occasional narrow opening that twisted away from the main cave but nothing that looked cut into the stone like the entrance to the spider crypt. If these were the highways of the dungeon I didn’t want to get lost in a snarl of back roads just yet so I kept to the larger cave. Then I came to the craven. It was anything but unremarkable.

A massive space with towering walls Absolutely honeycombed with passages. A Chaotic network of solid stone bridges crisscrossed over and under each other connecting the various opening.The place was dimly lit with colossal versions of the glowing crystals embedded in stalactites hanging down gaps between the bridges.

The points where the bridges intersected formed larger platforms. Down away on one of those platforms was a goblin making camp. The time to Attempt diplomacy had come again.

~~~~~

Even though I had been killed by one I didn’t hold a particular grudge against goblins. As dungeon monsters went they seemed to have their shit at least somewhat together. Yeah, they’re Vicious little bastards Notorious for stabbing at groin height ,but there was always some logic behind what they did. Even if you couldn’t make out the reasoning yourself. Delving a goblin dungeon meant having adapt to strategies and tactics beyond blind aggression. Goblins are a foe that had to be respected, and god bullshit aside I got taken down square. Also, Goblins fought dirty but killed quick. Which is the kinda thing you can Appreciate as adventurer after crossing paths with some of the more Sadistic shitheads lurking in the shadows. So yeah, I was willing to try my luck. From a distance. While holding a dagger.

Step one of my Dungeon diplomacy was sneaking a better look at my potential new friend. This wasn’t Particularly hard. I’d only come out two bridge layers higher than where they’d set camp. I was able to free climb down the craven wall then make my way over to get a good look from the layer above. I used my light foot veil But honestly even if I was spotted, I was just a rat doing rat things. Not worth making a fuss over.

It was a single goblin preparing a meal over a camp stove surrounded by a small flock of what looked like evil oversized chickens being used as pack animals.

I examined the goblin and the largest of the birds with [Delver’s insight].

[Tim The Hauler]

[Monster type: Goblin]

[Level:11] [Hp: 34/34] [Mp: ???]

[Title: Denizen]

[Perks: Bird Tamer, ???, Gobbish Tenacity, Dungeon Babble]

[Drawbacks: Corned Frenzy, ???, ???]

[Dungeon Points: ???]

[Bert]

[Monster type: Alpha Dire Fowl]

[level: 9] [Hp: ???] [Mp: 18/22]

[Title: Tamed Beast]

[Perks: Birds of a feather, Raptor’s Talons, ???, ???]

[Drawback: Big chicken, ???, Delicious]

[Dungeon points: 3]

Nothing alarming there. Tim the hauler, not Tim the Flayer, or Tim the kicker of puppies. He also just looked kinda friendly. Softer around the edges than whipcord ready goblin warriors I was used to seeing. Just a guy and his monster chickens making dinner. He was humming a happy little tune and everything. It was time for step two of my Dungeon diplomacy. I cupped a paw to my snout and took a deep breath.

“Heya, how’s it going?” I squeaked down to Tim.

The goblin startled and spun to see who was above him. I waved. He waved back.

Diplomacy Successful!

“Doin’ right good, thanks for askin’. I’m Tim.” The goblin called up to me cheerfully.

[Dungeon Babble] really was a hell of a perk. At the edge of my awareness I could perceive the sounds the goblin was actually making if I focused on them but the meanings were coming to me as if we were speaking the same langued. Even his name was translated from something that sounded more like a sneeze-cough than anything. The perk was bound to have limits and holes that I’d have to keep and eye out for but I was more than happy just to roll with it for now.

“Good to meet you Tim. I’m Rowan.” He just nodded at me, taking a talking rat in stride. I liked Tim already. ” I’m new to the Dungeon and about as lost as you can get. Don’t Suppose you could give me directions to the nearest settlement?” I asked.

“No worries, mate. Nearest place worth seeing is Pitfall. Heading that way myself. You're welcome to tag along with me and the bird brains if you like.” Tim said, Making a little sweeping motion To indicate Bert and his flock.

Eh, screw it. If Tim and his murder birds turned on me they’d be the ones stuck with the two fucking copper. I put my dagger away.