Tomos was in a predicament. While in the distant past he wouldn’t have thought twice about disclosing everything to the boy, Ayumu, about the Phantom, he now had a better understanding of how the human mind worked.
Granted, the younglings can be hard to predict, but in this case, only a fool would be unable to foresee how the boy would take the information about the Phantom’s origins.
A part of Tomos wondered whether he was making the merciful decision over the correct one- after all, insulating humans from their shortcomings and the complex nature of emotions was counterproductive to their growths. But he banished the misgivings in an instant. He knew from the little time he had been observing the boy that he would misinterpret everything and fall deeper into self-loathing.
And from what little he had observed of the boy’s friend, Masaru, he knew that the taller boy could be trusted with the information. As irrational and umpredictable the bonds between humans can be, the most obvious dimension of the boys’ friendship to him was their unwillingness to see each other hurt either physically or emotionally, and that fact alone assured Tomos that what he was going to disclose would not reach Ayumu.
With that in mind, Tomos observed the wavy-haired boy who looked apprehensive yet expectant as he stood in front of him in Ayumu’s room. With the trickle of Ayumu’s spiritual energy entering him, the previously dull colors Tomos saw him in had become a little less muted. His spirit was obviously that of someone who lacked the Senses, so most lesser Others would not be attracted to him unless they were those lowly spooks which sustained themselves through bloodshed and predation on vital energy, but he was tinged with Ayumu’s Color, a melancholic blue, just as Ayumu was tinged with his, the orange of a sunset, even before the Bond had been established.
No wonder the Phantom went after him as well, despite not a drop of ill will directed towards Masaru constituting it.
“I hope Ayumu is not trying to eavesdrop.” Tomos said lightly, breaking the short stretch of silence that had fallen when Ayumu had left the room to wait at the front door. It was his attempt at making small talk before getting into the main topic- after all, Tomos could detect Ayumu’s presence without much issue, so successfully eavesdropping on them is out of the question.
“He’s not like that.” The wavy-haired boy said softly, “Ayumu is very straightforward. Well, most of the time.” His lips quivered to form a small smile, but the air of melancholy around him since paying the price for the Soul Bond still hung around him.
“I do not doubt that.” Tomos replied gently. “I suspect that fact worries you sometimes?” He inquired casually.
“You have no idea…” The boy sighed.
Tomos looked at the boy sympathetically but decided that he needed to get to the point rather than address whatever is weighing on Masaru’s mind. He did not wish to intrude on their affairs too much- it was only courteous to speak of private matters when spoken to.
“Now, allow me to be forward with you on this matter-” Tomos said in a more businesslike tone, and Masaru pulled himself out of his thoughts at being addressed, “Phantoms like the one you encountered are the amalgamations of emotions, thoughts and impulses not acted upon directed towards a certain focal point. It is something which builds up within a location, be it a room, a household or even a city.”
“As you can probably predict, humans do not suppress their positive emotions and ignore their best impulses consistently and with a single focal point for very long stretches of time.” Tomos continued, “So obviously Phantoms are created out of negative emotions, and attempt to bring those stillborn thoughts and ideas to fruition in order to be ‘realized’.
Usually, Phantoms cannot develop into manifested Others without the help of an outside curse, but in this case, the Phantom was able to manifest itself with the remains of your friend’s power. I believe that the Phantom was born out of the negative emotions of Ayumu himself and his parents, and its primary target was Ayumu. You were attacked as well because the newly-manifested Phantom was not yet developed enough to distinguish between you two.”
His last few words hung in the silence while Masaru’s expression slowly turned from rapt attention into horror. “Y-you mean, Ayumu wanted to...”
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He didn’t complete the sentence. Or rather, it seemed that he would rather not articulate that thought. He sat down on the bed behind him and cradled his head in his hands, and Tomos felt it was best to give him some time to process his thoughts and emotions before going forward. He allowed about half a minute of silence before speaking up.
“You are, perhaps, jumping to the worst possible assumption.” Tomos said gently, “Do you think that your friend is truly in such a bad situation?”
It was a few moments before Masaru replied, “I… honestly don’t know. I don’t know.” He said in a hollow voice. “Some friend I am…”
“Lad, listen to me.” Tomos said seriously, “I have told this to Ayumu and I will tell you this as well- the Reason of this era is not kind to those born with the Senses. You acted rationally based on what you knew, what you understood, what you observed and what you were taught to think.”
“But-” Masaru looked up and began frustratedly but was cut off by Tomos.
“But- you are still the first person Ayumu thought to confide in.” Tomos said firmly, “He trusts you and knows that you will stand with him.”
“Only because he felt like he didn’t have any other choice!” Masaru exclaimed back, “You don’t know Ayumu as well as I do. He won’t tell anyone that he’s hurting or he’s sad, or that he needs help.” He punched the mattress, his face scrunched up, “Every time anything happens he just acts like everything is okay until he can’t pretend anymore. And it’s all- it’s all our fault. It’s all my fault.” He spat the last few words bitterly.
“It doesn’t matter whose fault it is.” Tomos said as calmly as possible, “What’s done is done- you cannot turn back time nor undo the wounds Ayumu has incurred. If you wish to help your friend, you must help him heal, and that is all there is to it.”
Masaru didn’t say anything, but he did wipe his eyes with his arm and looked towards Tomos with determination, giving a firm nod in answer.
“That’s the spirit.” Tomos said encouragingly, “But let me reassure you- Phantoms are necessarily born out of emotions and thoughts and impulses that have been discarded. Your friend Ayumu and his parents do not wish for Ayumu’s disappearance when they are thinking rationally- nor is it a thought they seriously humor. That is the point- the Phantom manifested itself under a very specific situation.” Tomos explained, and Masaru nodded in response. “I did not wish for Ayumu to hear the explanation because he would simply cling to the idea that his parents wished for his... ‘disappearance’, and that he gave birth to the thing which threatened his friend.”
Masaru nodded sadly, “Yeah, that’s exactly how I imagine him taking all of this. You did the right thing by not telling him right away, I guess.”
“And I hope you will not breathe a word of this to him until he is in a better mental place?” Tomos inquired.
“I won’t.” He said firmly. “That guy…” Masaru breathed, still looking frustrated with himself. Tomos really did understand how the boy felt, being all too familiar with having a dear friend who so often thought little of themselves and too much of others.
“Hmph, do you vex each other this much so very often?” Tomos asked him jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.
“Yeah, I guess.” Masaru sighed, but then cracked a smile, “You know the worst part? Usually the more annoying a person is the harder it is to keep being friends with them. But in Ayumu’s case, he annoys and frustrates me in ways that make it impossible for me to leave him alone.” He laughed, still an air of melancholy around him.
“Ha, trust me my boy,” Tomos said lightly, “Despite our radically different existences and contexts, that is a sentiment I am all too familiar with.”
“Now, let us go downstairs. Ayumu must be getting anxious by now.” Tomos said imperiously as he gracefully strutted towards the door.
“Yeah…” Masaru said and moved to open the door. With his hand on the doorknob he looked at the cat, who returned a quizzical look.
“Hey, Tomos… Promise that you’ll keep him safe and stop him from doing stupid things, alright?” He said seriously, his eyes meeting the luminous globes belonging to Tomos.
“You have my word.” Tomos said seriously, “I assure you, I have my own reasons for wanting to equip Ayumu with the necessary skills to handle the Other, and I intend to do it even if he rejects the Liber Nominum. A promise like this is unnecessary, but it is one I will gladly bind myself to.”
Indeed- Tomos has lived a long life and seen many a generation of humans live out their lives. To him they are like fireflies, so short-lived yet desperate to illuminate the darkness of the world they live in and fling their lights to the future. They are foolish, short-sighted, arrogant, self-centered, vain and narcissistic, but they have also shown the capability of creating beautiful things.
And Tomos had learned to appreciate beauty and beautiful things in his long existence. He could see within that small, frail and cowardly boy some seeds, which need only be nurtured so that they might bloom into flowers. How beautiful those flowers might be is still a question that remains to be answered, but he is not one to let mere insects nip flowers in the bud.