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Liber Nominum Universalia
Chapter 02: Dreading the Past

Chapter 02: Dreading the Past

Ayumu sat at the dining table with his head in his arms, a plate of curry rice covered in plastic wrap sitting in front of him. Now that the adrenalin had time to leave his system, the full weight of the events which had transpired and the malaise running through his body were crashing into him at full force. Anxiety, fear, disgust, anger… a noxious mix of negative emotions welled up inside him, making him want to scream and yell and destroy everything in front of him.

But he couldn’t do it. He could not even break a plate or knock over a chair without instantly feeling disgusted with himself. All he could do was impotently dig his fingers into his arms.

He now remembered. He remembered everything.

“Ah…” Ayumu’s body stiffened up when he heard the voice of the cat again coming from somewhere behind him. “It seems I underestimated how distressed you were.”

He ignored the cat’s words. He was sure now that it was partially to blame. He and everyone close to him were in danger again because of that black feline.

He couldn’t tell what the cat was doing, its movements were absolutely silent. It didn’t speak again for a few moments, and Ayumu contemplated what he was going to do next.

“Eat. Your Senses have been suppressed for so many years, it’s no surprise you are overwhelmed and disoriented.” Ayumu nearly jumped, the next words were seemingly coming from only a few inches in front of him now, as opposed to a few feet behind him.

He raised his head, squinting and blinking against the light in the room.

He opened his mouth to snap at the cat, but he suddenly felt bile rising in his throat. He quickly snapped his mouth shut and blocked his nose and mouth with both of his hands, trying desperately to suppress whatever was trying to exit his body.

“...I see.” The cat’s voice dripped with pity, “I do not blame you, I suppose. The era you were born in is rather unkind to those with the Senses. The Reason of this global milieu has no place for the Unseen.”

Ayumu, finally having swallowed down whatever his body was trying to expel, heaved and breathed heavily, but his eyes still didn’t leave the cat. “I don’t give a damn.” He snapped, “I don’t care about the details, I just don’t want to be the problem child who ‘saw stuff’ no one else did and ‘hurt himself’ to prove that he wasn’t lying about the stuff he was seeing!”

“I see…” The cat said, clearly disliking his tone but keeping its cool nonetheless, “I want to assure you, such things will not happen anymore- I shall be your guide and guardian-”

“Didn’t you hear me?!” Ayumu jumped to its feet, his anger flaring even as he felt his legs wobble and his vision swim at the sudden movement, “I don’t give a rat’s ass. I’ve had enough, I’ve seen enough. I finally have friends and a chance to start over! My parents don’t give me those looks anymore, I can leave my house without being afraid of being attacked by some monstrosity! Why would I want to go back to-” He felt nauseous again, and the world spun around him.

Before he could resist, he was unceremoniously dragged to the kitchen sink by several black hands originating from the cat’s shadow. He wanted to prevent his body from expelling the so-called “seal” but his efforts lost against the overwhelming bodily reaction.

Black substance with the consistency of blood poured out from his mouth and nose along with solid blood clot-like objects, hitting the metallic basin with disgusting sounds. With each drop of the substance and each blood clot expelled, his body felt lighter and the world seemed a lot more vivid, but his heart ached and despaired.

“My word,” The cat exclaimed as it jumped onto the kitchen counter and walked towards the basin, “Not only a seal to bind your senses, but also curses to reinforce it? Just what had happened to you, Boy?”

Ayumu didn’t reply, instead he cradled his head in his hands over the sink filled with the black ‘blood clots’.

A few moments of silence passed, and the cat asked quietly, “How old were you when your Senses were sealed?”

Ayumu wanted to ignore its words again, but he whispered, “Ten.”

“...And how old were you when they awakened?” Ayumu couldn’t quite read the emotion in the cat’s voice. It seemed as though the cat was deliberately not letting anything slip.

“I don’t remember. I just know it got worse the older I got.” He said finally, his voice still low.

Silence again, and Ayumu didn’t know what was going through the cat’s mind. But he knew what he wanted. He opened the faucet to turn on the water, letting the clots and the remaining ‘blood’ wash into the drain. He began to clean himself and the sink with shaky hands.

“I presume,” He heard the cat speak again when he was nearly done cleaning up, “You wish to be rid of your Senses for good.”

“Yes.” He said without hesitation, looking the cat in its luminous eyes.

“...I am sorry, but these Senses are as much a part of you as your organs and other senses are. Just as amputating a limb is a costly and dangerous affair, so is completely ridding the Senses.”

“So I’ll suppress them again!” Ayumu said instantly, a hint of desperation in his voice, “I don’t remember how I did it that time, but I’m sure I can do it again.”

“Perhaps, yes.” The cat said, its willowy tail swishing to sweep in front of its front paws and then coming to rest in a U shape around them, “But again, it is akin to binding away an organ so that it is unable to function normally. While it achieves the objective, there is also significant danger of necrosis, which would inevitably spread to other parts.”

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

“How do I know you’re not lying?” Ayumu demanded, dissatisfied with the answer.

“You know little about me, my objectives and my origins. You do not know my name, even. I would not blame you for distrusting me, but that is why I wish for you to know the full details. You may make your decision then, and I will see what I can do.”

Ayumu didn’t answer, but instead kept looking the cat right in the eyes. The cat, realizing that it was partially intimidation, stared unblinkingly back, thoroughly unimpressed.

“...Alright, fine.” Ayumu sighed, “I’ll hear what you have to say. I guess I’ll try to eat something and then come to you.” He felt the beginnings of a headache coming, but nonetheless persisted.

He quickly glanced at the digital clock on the wall across from the dining table, and was relieved that it would be an hour before his mother’s return. The cat soundlessly jumped down from the counter and leisurely began to make its way upstairs, perhaps to his bedroom to wait for him.

“Hey, wait.” Ayumu called after it, and it turned to look at him with a mix of curiosity and weariness in its eyes, “Just… give me a minute before going.”

He opened one of the drawers of the kitchen counter and extracted a medium-sized saucer. He made his way to the refrigerator and poured some of the milk into it. He rummaged a bit in the lower drawer of the fridge, remembering that they had a few cans of tuna preserved in oil in there.

After warming the saucer of milk slightly in the microwave and opening the can of tuna, he went to the cat and paced both in front of it. “I don’t know how much of what happened with the woman was indirectly your fault,” Ayumu said in a vaguely accusatory voice, “But you still saved my life. I wouldn’t feel good eating by myself.”

The cat cocked its head to the side, its expression not quite betraying any confusion. It gave a dignified “Thank you.” before lowering its head to lap up some milk.

Ayumu exhaled and went to heat up his own dinner, and soon enough he had devoured the whole plate. He eyed the beaten up box he had brought the cake in with some amount of apprehension, dreading to open it and see the ruined state of the piece of pastry he was so looking forward to, but decided he could just take the few bites that could be salvaged from it.

Surprisingly, the pastry wasn’t reduced to a homogenous paste as he expected it to be, and it was still mostly edible. He idly wondered how odd it would seem to an outside observer for him to be worried about a dessert after what had transpired, but the taste of sugar and chocolate was able to comfort him if nothing else.

With forty-five minutes to go before her mother’s usual time of arrival, he took the half-finished can of tuna and saucer of milk and went up to his room. He already had enough on his mind without his mother lecturing him about the responsibility and cost behind keeping a pet as soon as she returned home.

He opened the door to his bedroom after freeing one hand and he saw the cat sitting on a windowsill looking outside.

“You have returned.” The cat noted without even turning around to look at him as soon as he opened his mouth to announce his arrival. “I hope the meal helped restore some of your energy.”

“Y-yeah. Eating helped, I think.” Ayumu said, approaching the window to see what the cat was staring at, “Don’t tell me there’s another kuchisake-onna trying to break in…” He said, trying to control the quiver in his voice.

“No. Her kind’s foundations lie in disgraced exile from the household, they are only allowed to haunt the streets to prey on the solitary and the unsuspecting.” The cat explained, unmoving except its wispy tail, which swayed as though carried by the ebbs and flows of a calm sea.

“Sure didn’t stop her. Then again, I’m not sure whether the front porch counts...” Ayumu grumbled, rather relieved when he saw that there were normal people going about their business in a normal-looking street.

“It does and it does not.” The cat answered, seemingly satisfied by what it saw through the window, and hopped off the windowsill. “It is a liminal space with characteristics of both. Under usual circumstances she would not have dared to set foot there; in fact, under normal circumstances, she would not have given chase after you succeeded in confounding her, but you were too tempting a prey for her to squander.”

“Gee, I’m flattered.” Ayumu quipped drily, “It feels nice being the equivalent of prime beef for murderous spirits.”

“On the contrary, you should feel insulted.” The cat said, lickig the back of its paw and using it to groom itself casually, “That spirit was fairly young and weak. You only failed to easily push her off you because you had suppressed almost all of your abilities, even the baseline amount which all humans naturally possess.”

“I’m sure I wouldn’t have even encountered her under normal circumstances.” Ayumu said, a small amount of heat in his voice, “It was only because whatever you did to make me start seeing this stuff again-”

“You are mistaken,” The cat cut him off sharply as he stopped grooming himself to look at him directly, “It was not I who began chipping away at your self-imposed seals. In fact, you yourself subconsciously began to do so. Otherwise you would have been unable to hear me in that bookstore at all.”

“Wait wait wait,” Ayumu said hurriedly, “How- what, why the hell would I do that to myself?” He exclaimed disbelievingly.

“The same reason your body automatically tries to breathe when you hold your breath for too long, you silly boy.” The cat replied haughtily, “Do you think those clots were a natural part of awakening to one’s Senses? You were slowly killing yourself, and your body realized it and finally broke the seal to prevent its own demise.”

Ayumu was left speechless. He was having a hard time believing in anything the cat said, especially since it seemingly had its own ulterior motives. He went over to his bed and collapsed onto it face-first, feeling utterly defeated.

The cat also said nothing, perhaps anticipating some more words from him. Minutes passed and finally, Ayumu turned his in the direction of the cat and asked, “Well, you can start holding your breath again after breathing for a few minutes. If I leave it ‘on’ for a few days, I can turn these ‘senses’ off again for a few years before needing to turn them ‘on’ again, right?

The cat seemed to be getting a bit irritated, “Stop babbling nonsense, Boy. Use your common sense. The one time you reawakened again, you were attacked by a spirit within minutes. And you can be sure that the time between each ‘breath’ your body takes will slowly get shorter and shorter, and eventually you will need to rest for a few years to return your capacity to suppress yourself back to normal.”

“Well excuse me for not using my ‘common sense’ for something this uncommon!” Ayumu snapped back in frustration before hiding his face in his pillow again.

“Ugh, just my luck that I must be burdened with the whining of human younglings.” The cat scoffed imperiously.

“I mean, no one is forcing you…” Ayumu said, “I’m surprised you’re tolerating this much, considering how much patience you had for the kuchisake-onna.”

“That lowly spook broke several of her kind’s norms and insulted me directly.” The cat explained cooly, “Your… ‘demeanor’ is a lot more excusable, given your circumstances and age. But I must admit, I grow tired of this. So I hope you will keep your interjections to a minimum and be cooperative, at least until I finish explaining everything to you.”

Ayumu sighed in resignation and pulled himself up into a sitting position on his bed, before looking directly at the cat, “Alright, go on. I guess I owe you that much.”