This shared conflict and understanding made Yair feel better. Just minutes ago, he felt like he was an alien who was observing humans from the outside, trying to comprehend them, but not being one of them.
In fact, he felt like he was nothing—a creature whose existence was as pointless as it was repulsive and a mockery. But now, Nikodemus was inviting him to be a human, and he recognized that, perhaps, he was never an alien to begin with, and that he merely did not have the skin that humans had.
“That does make me feel better.” Yair admitted.
“And, you know….” Nikodemus continued, wearing a worn smile. “I think God put us on this earth to overcome our shortcomings. If He gave us a paradise from the start, then there would be no reason for us to grow as people; we would take advantage of His gifts—we would eat until we grow fat, we would sleep to the point where there would no longer be a point of being awake, and we would show no discretion with who we sleep with. There would be no dignity or restraint, because we would not understand the point of it, and we would become shameless, decadent creatures who would receive something without understanding the virtue of earning it. We couldn’t overcome our shortcomings if we didn’t have any.”
Yair nodded at that, delving deeply into his own thoughts. “But it sounds like your creator made you with intention to overcome such weaknesses, whereas mine didn’t consider it.”
Nikodemus frowned for a moment, swallowing a lump in his throat. “I choose to view things the way I do because it gives me peace, but… the truth is, I don’t know whether my creator is any kinder or more thoughtful than yours. There are times when someone suffers so inhumanely that I can’t comprehend why God would let it happen… sometimes, I think that God doesn’t watch us at all anymore—that He has… turned his back on us because He became disgusted by our actions. Perhaps if we show that we humans are worthy, He will look upon us again and help us. In some ways, I almost think that it’s worse than having a creator who wasn’t thinking of the ramifications of making us… at least Hilargi isn’t rejecting you like our God could be doing to us.”
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“It must be hard to have such faith when you’re so unsure of your creator’s intentions. At the very least, I can ask Hilargi what her intentions were, you have no such options.” Yair said bluntly.
Nikodemus’ eyes were glassy. “Yes, you’re right. In some ways, you’re luckier than any human. I…” Nikodemus sniffled, swallowing more tears. “I have no proof if God created us out of amusement, out of malevolence, or… out of love. Or if He even created us at all.”
“Then why do you believe at all?” Yair asked.
Nikodemus clenched the blankets on his bed, turning extremely thoughtful. To Yair, it looked like he was malfunctioning—stalled out and unable to process his thoughts. Nikodemus finally said, “Sometimes, I’m not sure, but I’ll let you know when I have a positive answer.”
Yair saw how much having faith pained Nikodemus. He wondered whether it was something worth having at all. Yair, too, believed in the Christian god due to how he was programmed by Hilargi, and he, too, was suddenly perplexed by his own question.
“Am I a mockery due to being made by a human?” Yair wondered. Am I a hideous imitation? He thought to himself.
Nikodemus looked upon him intently, pondering the question for himself. He looked drained of blood and life for a moment before finally saying, “I don’t find you to be a mockery. I feel like you are God’s grandchild—perhaps a tribute to his divine creation. Hilargi's words, not mine.”
Yair found himself smiling at Nikodemus’ words. He liked the sound of that. He was reassured and felt like he could now go on his way. He bowed slightly to Nikodemus. “Thank you for your words. I feel like I can perform my primary function again without being hampered by these awful feelings. I just have one more question; why did you risk the human race to save a… replaceable robot?”
Nikodemus rolled on his side, closing his eyes with a contented smile and a yawn. “I don’t think you’re replaceable. Do you really think that if Hilargi made another robot, that it would be exactly like you? I don’t buy it… besides… I had a dream about you the other night. Everyone else was gone, and you were the only thing left in the Wasteland. I think it means something… it means that I must preserve you at all costs.”
Yair was contented with that answer. In fact, he was beaming that the Last Man was willing to sacrifice himself to save an artificial creature such as himself. In seconds, Nikodemus was sleeping.
“Good night, Nikodemus.” Yair said and then left the room.
Nikodemus nodded, and then Yair left to go find Hilargi.