Because Elizabeth was his guard, Nikodemus had no trouble finding his way to her room because she had led him to it. She kept glancing at him nervously on their way to it. She nearly bounced her whole way to the room, unable to hide her giddiness.
Nikodemus had never been less excited to sleep with a beautiful woman in his entire life.
He felt empty at the prospect.
No. Empty was not the right word. He felt downright ashamed about it. As a boy, he had always been taught that the best life he could achieve was one with one woman by his side. He was taught that dangling several women was despicable, and now he had been forced to do that for twenty years.
Elizabeth opened her bedroom door, and Nikdoemus saw that the other women who were designated to sleep with him that night were already there, sitting on Elizabeth’s bed.
Nikodemus froze in Elizabeth’s doorway. No matter how many orgies he was forced to participate in, he could never get over his shock and disgust of them. He was truly hoping that the Nymphs would be a tribe that would not require him to sleep with multiple women at once.
Elizabeth strolled into the room as if nothing was wrong, and Nikodemus wondered how the woman was not born with an innate sense that participating in such an activity was grotesque.
Nikodemus’ hands shook in humiliation; his head flared with painful memories of previous orgies he had been forced to participate in. He found it hard to get air into his lungs as his heart pounded and his stomach churned as if he was trying to digest something truly rotten.
A grimace pulled his lips downward as unrelenting memories pulled him into an embrace of sickening excess.
Sweat. That was the first thing that came to mind when he thought of orgies. Sweat pouring down his forehead, sweat coating his hands, and sweat from other bodies congealing with his own in a hideous display of empty relationships and physical lust.
The next thing that came to mind were the grunts. Grunts of exertion on his part, and grunts of pleasure on the parts of the women who joined him. He felt revolted by himself that he had ever found orgies pleasurable. Nowadays, his goal was merely to get through them with what little pride he had managed to retain over the years.
The last thing that came to mind were his own feelings of sweaty shame and shaking resentment both during and after the activity. As he had expressed to Ellia earlier, he barely felt like a human in the first place when he was forced to sleep with women he didn’t know and, much of the time, didn’t even care for. Sleeping with multiple women at the same time made him feel like he was not even a living creature and was instead, an object.
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These women are making love by themselves and they don’t even realize it. Nikodemus thought to himself, swallowing a lump in his throat. How sad we humans have become.
Nikodemus turned to Elizabeth. She was a reasonable woman, and he hoped she would listen to him. “Elizabeth, I’m not comfortable with this. I’m sure you aren’t, either. I want you and only you tonight.”
Nikodemus took one of her hands in his, squeezing it.
Elizabeth’s eyes widened, her mouth was parted in shock. She looked as if she had just been read the most romantic poem she had ever heard. Her look of shock turned into a beautiful smile.
She glanced over to the hopeful women waiting on her bed, and then back at Nikodemus.
She was clearly conflicted. The frown that returned to her face told him as much. She rubbed her elbow, lowering her eyes. “It’s not really up to me. I’m following orders from Ellia. Not only that, but we have to have as many children as we can as soon as possible. For humanity’s sake.”
Nikodemus tried to think of the best combination of words possible to convince Elizabeth to sleep with him and him only. “But what do you want? Do you really want to share me with two other women? Look inside of yourself… Doesn’t something feel wrong about that?”
Elizabeth cocked her head to the side. “Wrong?”
Nikodemus had to remind himself that Elizabeth had never slept with a man before, and may very well have never slept with a woman. Not only that, but she had no knowledge of social expectations when it came to relationships.
She didn’t understand that there was anything soul-sickeningly wrong with offering her own body and that of her friends to a complete stranger just to make babies.
Perhaps she simply doesn’t understand that there is an emotional component to sex.
Nikodemus leaned on her doorframe, crossing his arms. “Yeah. You’re only supposed to share your body with one person. It’s the most precious thing we have, after all.”
Elizabeth looked confounded by the concept. She scratched her blonde curls. “I thought sex was just for having babies and for fun. Who taught you the thing about your body being sacred?”
Nikodemus looked down at his shoes, drawn in by the golden warmth of past memories, but refusing to get swallowed by them. He wistful smile graced his lips. “My dad did. He was an incredibly religious man. Swore by the Bible.”
“The Bible?” Elizabeth repeated, blinking curiously.
Nikodemus nodded. “It’s an old religion. By all rights, it shouldn’t have survived for this long, but somehow, it did.”
Elizabeth went silent. Clearly, she was challenged by this idea of her body being sacred. “I like the idea of my body being sacred, but I don’t believe in the… Bible religion. I’m a Zironist like everyone else.”