~o0o~

Quaraun was sitting on the front steps of the palace. He was dressed in the traditional silvery misty blue garb typical of a male Moon Elf. He was also devoid of his make-up, and his mega-long silver hair.

“You’re not wearing eye popping pink dresses today,” BeaLuna, the green skinned, pink haired Flower Gnome commented as she sat down beside him.

“No.”

“Golly! Did you cut your hair?”

“No. I did not.”

“Quaraun. Someone cut your hair.”

“Yes. I know.”

“Who?”

“My father.”

“Ah, he’s having one of his fits again?”

“He burned all my pink dresses.”

“Wow! You must have really pissed him off this time. I’m sorry. Why does he do these things to you?”

“He says I’m disgracing the family. He says I’m supposed to be his son, not his daughter. He wants me to give up wizardry and focus on other more important studies.”

“Well, I say he’s just a big fat bully. Who isn’t actually fat, but you know what I mean.”

“He wants me to focus on other studies. Says it will make me less stupid.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen. You’re pretty stupid.”

Quaraun glared down at his tiny two foot tall friend.

“I don’t like that word.”

“Well, it’s true isn’t it? You ARE an absolute total idiot.”

“It hurts. Half the village says I am too stupid to live.”

“Well you kind of are. Not like there’s anything you can do about it.”

“He burned all my dresses.”

“Well you can make new dresses.”

“I know.”

“And your hair will grow back.”

“I wish he would drop dead.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes, I do. There’s Phookas in the area, I wish he’d be eaten.”

“Anything else he’s got up his ass today?”

“He doesn’t want me making clothes any more.”

“So making new dresses, not that easy.”

“He wants me spending more time with girls.”

“I’m a girl. You spend time with me.”

“You’re a Gnome.”

“Are you being racist now?”

“No, my father is. He doesn’t want me spending time with you either. He says I should be spending time with female Moon Elves and looking for a wife.”

“Looking for a wife? You!” BeaLuna burst out laughing at the thought of Quaraun with a wife. “Really? Ha! Has he met you? You’d run screaming from any female who wanted you.”

“He wants me married. Thinks it’ll ‘cure’ me.”

“Cure you? What you mean of liking boys and wanting to be fucked like a girl?”

“I’m a virgin, BeaLuna... I think.”

“You think? You don’t know?”

“I was attacked on the way here.”

“Attacked? What do you mean attacked?”

“Phookas.”

“Phookas? Golly! You’re lucky to be alive if you got attacked by Phookas. They eat Elves you know.”

“I know. I wish he’d come here and eat all the villagers.”

“Why?”

“They keep beating me up. My father works them into a frenzy. I don’t like having to sleep in a chair because the bruises on my body don’t let me lay down. Life would be so much easier if a Phooka would just eat them for me.”

“Well, if you got attacked by a Phooka, you’re lucky you didn’t get eaten yourself.”

“This one didn’t want to eat me. He wanted to fuck me.”

“Fuck you?”

“Yes.”

“And you know that because...?”

“It’s what he said. That and he had his men hold me down while he touched me and climbed on top of me...”

“Did he rape you?”

"I... uhm... I'm not sure."

"You're not sure?"

Quaraun thought about it or a moment, trying to decide if what happened was rape or not. He decided not to tell BeaLuna he had been raped, because he wasn’t sure if he had actually been raped or not. He was confused. He had in fact wished to bed with King Gwallmaiic, mere moments before the Elf Eater had attacked him. And he didn’t fight back from the sex part, he only fought back from the being bitten part.

“No. He let go of me when I put up a fight. He didn’t try to stop me, he just let go. His men came after me but he called them back and let me escape. I’m not sure why.”

He decided it best not to mention the fact that the Phooka not only had fucked him, but that he had enjoyed it immensely and wanted to be fucked by the Phooka again.

“You know you’re really lucky to be alive, Quaraun. Phookas aren’t known for letting their victims go.”

“Strange... I’m a male and so was he.”

“Well, you were wearing a dress.”

“No... not that. It’s... part of me wishes he had...”

“Had what? Raped you? You wished to be raped?”

“Yes.”

"Why?"

"I don't know."

“You wish a Phooka had raped you?”

“Yes.”

Stolen novel; please report.

"What is wrong with you?"

"I don't know."

“You get stranger every day, Quaraun. Why would you want that?”

“I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I’ve never felt attracted to anyone before. And I felt very attracted to him.”

“So everyone is right, you do want to be fucked like a girl?”

“I... uhm... yes.”

Yes?"

“Yes.”

“Why?

“Father says my problems lay in the fact that I have taken a vow of celibacy. Other Elves my age are sowing wild oats and I should be doing the same thing.”

“Well you can fuck me and that’d just blow his mind, you know because you’d end up being the father of a half-Elf and he’d just have a conniption over that, wouldn’t he?”

“I don’t like talking about that stuff, BeaLuna.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed. The whole town’s kind of noticed.”

“Why does anyone in this town even care?”

“Because it’s winter, the tourists are gone, and everyone who lives here is a busy-body, nosy assed, bastardly, white pricks with their heads stuck up their arrogant asses."

"That's no reason to bully someone."

"Quaraun, bullies don't need a reason. Bullies are cruel for the sake of being cruel. Bullies think it fun to watch others suffer."

"It's horrible to watch others suffer. Suffering is not fun."

"Bullies don't know that. Bullies are people who have never suffered a day in their lives so they don't know how much it hurts."

"I don't like wearing blue. They beat me up because I want to wear pink. I don't understand why."

"They all conform to being exact duplicates of each other and you don’t."

"I don't understand why they all want to be duplicates of each other. I can't tell most of them apart from one another half the time. It's ridiculous."

"And they think you are just as ridiculous because you don't try to look exactly like them. But, haven't you noticed? You DO try to dress like the people who raised you? I mean look at the pink dresses you wear."

"My father burned my dresses."

"I know, but, Quaraun, think about it. You wore them to fit in with the Di'Jinn, right? Everyone wants to fit in with the group they are comfortable with. You fit in with the Di'Jinn. You don't fit in with the Moon elves. It really is as simple as that. You should go back to live with the Di'Jinn. You don't belong here. You ain't like the other Moon Elves."

"The Di'Jinn are dead. I can't go back."

"Yeah. You weren't too clear on how they died either."

"I can't remember. I was in the desert with the ponies and when I got back to the temple, all the Di'Jinn were dead. I don't know how they died. I would go back with them if they were still alive. I liked it there. They were mean sometimes, but not like this. Not like the Moon Elves are. I don't like it here. I don't understand why they treat me so bad."

"You don’t look like them, you don’t dress like them, you dare to be different and it infuriates them to no end the fact that you refuse to be manipulated, controlled, intimidated or coerced into being a carbon copy of every one else in this town.”

“I’m not bothering them, why are they bothering me?”

“I told you. They are busy-body, nosy assed, bastardly, white pricks with their heads stuck up their arrogant asses. Refusing to mind their own business, making trouble for people who are not bothering anyone else, that’s sort of what busy-body, nosy assed, bastardly, white pricks with their heads stuck up their arrogant asses do. That’s what makes them busy-body, nosy assed, bastardly, white pricks with their heads stuck up their arrogant asses.”

“So you don’t like them?”

“Quaraun, they are busy-body, nosy assed, bastardly, white pricks with their heads stuck up their arrogant asses. Nobody likes them. Even they don’t like themselves.”

“Why does my life matter to them?”

“It doesn't. They're jerks with nothing to do and they see you not conforming to their sense of what should be normal, so they've decided to focus all their pent up boredom energy on bullying you into being just like them, and you're refusing to be just like them and they don't know what to do about it because most people crack and conform if they are bullied enough and you are too stupid to crack or conform and they don't know how to deal with it because no one has ever dared say no to them before.”

“I'm not bothering them. Why are they bothering me?”

“I told you. They are busy-body, nosy assed, bastardly, white pricks with their heads stuck up their arrogant asses. Refusing to mind their own business, making trouble for people who are not bothering anyone else, that’s sort of what busy-body, nosy assed, bastardly, white pricks with their heads stuck up their arrogant asses do. That’s what makes them busy-body, nosy assed, bastardly, white pricks with their heads stuck up their arrogant asses.”

“So you don’t like them?”

“Quaraun, they are busy-body, nosy assed, bastardly, white pricks with their heads stuck up their arrogant asses. Nobody likes them. Even they don’t like themselves.”

“Why does my life matter to them?”

“It doesn’t. They’re jerks with nothing to do and they see you not conforming to their sense of what should be normal, so they’ve decided to focus all their pent up boredom energy on bullying you into being just like them, and you’re refusing to be just like them and they don’t know what to do about it because most people crack and conform if they are bullied enough and you are too stupid to crack or conform and they don’t know how to deal with it because no one has ever dared say no to them before.”

“I’m not bothering them. Why are they bothering me?”

“Quaraun, you wear bubblegum pink, you look like a female, and you refuse to have sex.”

“I don’t even like...”

“Sex?”

“Yes... at all.” He thought about King Gwallmaiic and added: “With no one.”

“No one.”

“No one. Not even Phookas.”

“Not even? Are still thinking about that Phooka.”

“No. I’m not.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Positive.”

“I don’t want to have sex with Phookas.”

“Uhm... yeah... I wasn’t...”

“He wants me to have sex with my sisters!”

“Uhm. Okay. That came out of no where.”

“ALL OF THEM!”

“All of them?”

“I don’t even know how many sisters I have.”

“There were about a dozen last I counted.”

“I can’t count.”

“I know.”

“He cut my hair.”

“I can see that.”

“I DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX!”

“That’s been coming in loud and clear. Have you not noticed that, that is what has your father so ticked off? The fact that you are the royal family’s only male heir and you are absolutely refusing to fill the castle up with little baby Elves?”

“I don’t like females or making babies.”

“But you want a Phooka to fuck you up your ass, because you have weird rape fantasies about Faeries?”

“Why is everybody fascinated with my sex life?”

“Because you don’t have one. At all. Why do you think? I mean I know Elves are suppose to repress their emotions, but they don’t hide their obsession with sex.”

“I have no desire for sex. I don’t like it.”

“Not even with Phookas?”

“I... uhm...”

“Yeah, that hesitation there doesn’t bode well.”

“I HATE SEX!”

“I know. Everyone knows. I’ve never seen an Elf like you before. They’ve never seen an Elf like you before. They’re scared of you Quaraun. Most male Elves are just dying to get in bed with something. Anything. Thus the prevalence of so many half-Elves these days. It was bad enough when you were just refusing to fuck anything, but now you’re dressing like a girl.”

“They are the ceremonial robes worn by the Di’Jinn.”

“Yeah, Elves don’t join Thullid religions and become priests that worship pink jellyfish, either.”

“There is nothing wrong with my religion.”

“I didn’t say there was. I mean if you want to worshipping an invisible pink unicorn, go right ahead. I don’t care. But they do. You’re next in line to be king. They are scared you’ll make them all worshipping sea slugs with you.”

“JellyFish.”

“Yeah. Flying spaghetti monsters. Who cares? It’s not an Elven religion, Quaraun. It pisses them off that you are an Elf and you worship a non-Elf god.”

“It shouldn’t matter to them what I do.”

“No, you’re right, it shouldn’t, but they are jerks, so it does. They haven’t got enough brains to know to mind their own business.”

“I want them to leave me alone.”

“Your father’s terrified you’re gonna start letting other Elves fuck you like a girl.”

“I don’t like sex. I have no desire for sex at all.”

“Except with Phookas.”

“Yes, except with Phookas... NO! Will you stop that!”

“You dress like a female prostitute.”

“No I don’t.”

“You look like a girl.”

“I was born looking like this. I have no control over what I look like.”

“In fact, girls don’t even dress like you. Quaraun. I don’t know what you’re dressed like, because girls aren’t even as girly as you are. Do you have any idea...”

Quaraun tried to continue to listen to the Gnome’s words, but his pink jelly brain drifted off in thoughts of how much he disliked his father, his uncle, and the rest of the Moon Elf race.

He hated them all, and he wanted to be fucked by a Phooka.

No. Wait. No.

Where’d that thought come from?

No. Hating Moon Elves. Yes. That’s what he wanted to think about. Not Faerie kings with giant black cocks and huge dreadlocks.

Quaraun had been born small, weak, and sickly.

No one had expected him to live.

In his early toddler years it quickly became apparent that in addition to his frail health, there was also something mentally wrong with him.

The young Elfling rarely spoke or made any sounds at all, sitting quiet for hours, staring at the wall as though watching a play. He spent hours lining up objects and sorting everything by colour.

For a while, his parents thought the child was deaf, dumb, and mute, but he on occasion spoke indicating this was not the case. Healers were baffled to find anything truly wrong with the lad and eventually declared him to be an idiot.

The royal family bemoaned the curse which had placed a stupid Elf in their kin. It was bad enough for an idiot to be born into the village at all, but to be born into the royal family?

It was unheard of.

The problem was made worse when, at around 3 years old, shortly after the village had been attacked by Thullids, Quaraun was displaying many non-Elf habits.

Had he not looked every bit like a Moon Elf, based only on his actions and habits, anyone would have sworn he was a Faerie.

The whole thing was made worse by the fact that he was only four years old when he started wearing rose petal pink dresses and saying he’d rather be a girl than a boy. No one knew the young male Elf was dead and a female Thullid was living in his skull, animating his life like a corpse.

A Thullid spawnling, walking among the Elves.

Looking like an Elf, but not exactly acting like an Elf.

The royal family had remained pure blooded Moon Elves for centuries.