Chapter 3

Iris found Hecate with Ilona.

“Good morning, Lady Ilona, Hella,” Iris greeted. “How do you feel?”

“I’m great!” A fake smile. Hecate was good at it. At least now, she did not need to worry about Raven. Eventually, the guilt would fade away. She had Ilona and Diantha for support. She did not need to worry. “We are watching Mr. Chummy; come sit with me.” Hecate patted the seat beside her.

Iris nodded. Iantha followed suit. Ilona soon left, leaving them to watch the show. An awkward silence descended between them, with Hecate shifting and looking her way awkwardly.

“About last night…” Hecate began hesitantly.

“I saw everything. It was sad—seeing you laugh like that. Please tell me the truth; are you fine?” Iris asked.

“I… am not sure. I feel sad, should feel sadder, but at the same time, I feel relieved. Lesley showed me how much my sister has suffered over those years. Killing her was the right thing. It shouldn’t have been. How could it be? Me killing her? It doesn’t make sense.” Her fist clenched on her thigh. “I don’t know what I feel... Master says it’s alright.”

It was the same as when she had to kill Mayumi. Except she blamed Mayumi as much as herself. Mayumi loved her for that one reason. Iris did not. She was happy to find someone who cared for her, for once, without any reason. A family, and then she learned how much Mayumi manipulated her, using her grief, loneliness, and past to make her feel loved. Mayumi required her to love.

Iris blames herself for trusting Mayumi, yet she cannot let go of the emotions she has for her. It is confusing even for her. Does she hate Mayumi? Or love her? What about Mayumi? She wished to see her again. Ask if she even loved her. Iris knew she could not see Mayumi again. Yet she holds on to the cursed blade as her last gift—a curse.

Iris watched her. Hesitantly, she raised her hand and patted her head. “It is a cruel tragedy. But you have to accept and let go… Only then can you find peace for yourself and your sister’s soul. She is one with you now. She found release in death. It is alright to feel relieved knowing your sister will not feel pain anymore. And guilty for what you did. You made the best choice you could, and the pain that follows is the price you must pay for the choice. Emotions are painful, but we accept them and keep moving forward, for acceptance is the only path to peace.”

Hecate nodded. She would come to terms with herself in time. Iris glanced at Iantha. She stared dumbly at them. Iantha was unaware of the situation. Iris couldn’t share it with Ianthe. Hecate could. It was awkward.

That awkwardness died when Diantha entered the hall and announced they should pack up things; they were leaving. Hecate greeted her but received a sideways glance and a nod before Diantha strolled out. Sleeping ruined her schedule.

Iris only needed one thing—her blade. She strapped it to her waist and walked on the open veranda. Iris found Iantha on the compound. She looked awkward, still in pain, and out of place. All the things Iris knew dearly.

“Ianthe,”

“Finally, I was starting to think I arrived too early,” Iantha sighed and rushed to her side. “Which carriage should we sit in?”

Iris's lips thinned, not by carriage. The dreadfully slow, confined, and stumbly transportation was her antithesis. “You should ask Diantha. I will not go with—” Iris paused at Ianthe’s downtrodden expression. A sigh escaped her. “You can come with me,” except she did not know the location.

“You should find Hella and wait here. I’ll have yet to see Jasper—I’ll come back after meeting him, and then we will travel with my Orbs.”

Iris could not use ethereal sight like normal humans. She did not have the eyes to perform that skill. However, she could feel Mana’s nature. Jasper was a unique case. He was sensitive to mana’s nature. People sensitive to mana’s nature were also good at hiding themselves. She cannot find him without someone telling her his location.

So, Iris searched for Viktor. He was instructing servants regarding maintenance in his absence. His attention shifted to her, and he effortlessly turned and made a bow. “A good day to you, Miss Iris. Is there anything I can assist you in?”

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“I’m searching for Jasper. Do you know where he is?” Iris asked.

“Of course I do. Jasper and other injured knights, along with Lord Jeremiah, are already being transferred to Lancaster’s estate upon Lady Diantha’s order,” He replied with a level tone. His voice was mature yet pleasing. Iris again felt a pang of jealousy. She required an authoritative voice. I must!

“I see, and lady Ilona? Is she with them?”

“My apologies, Miss Iris, but I’m unaware of Lady Ilona’s current whereabouts."

Iris nodded, “I will leave. Have a good day.”

“Please wait a moment, Miss Iris." Iris stopped, turned, and tilted her head. “The creature you fought last night, do you know what it is?”

“No… I have not seen something like it before. It was a shadow, yet complete material, somehow capable of altering its physical body. It had the Darkness Element: Material Form, though. I believe he has a more advanced form of darkness than I harness." Iris paused, observing Viktor’s expression. He was trying not to frown at her words. “It is neither a human nor a monster. Another species, I suppose you might have an idea what it might be?”

“No… Mysterious creatures are safety hazards for everyone, and this one seems to align with Laurent House, which is unsettling. Laurent does not care about the price Gracia might incur as long as she attains what she desires.”

“I’m sure your lady will think of something... He’s far from invincible, after all.”

“You’re right; thank you for entertaining my trivialities. I shall not hinder you any longer,” Viktor bowed.

…

Convincing Hecate to fly with her was easy. Iris was all set to wrestle Hecate away from making another flying platform. Hecate did not. She just nodded to ride with her. Save of effort that Iris would’ve been glad to make. Iris closed her mind to the worry. Time and care—Hecate had it both. She had Diantha and Ilona.

Iris felt the weight of Winny on her head. She had neither. Yet she had to wait for the map, find Edeath, and then the Seed of Eve. She had no time to waste on this place’s mess. The people here could look after each other. If anything, she was a problem. If not for her, perhaps Shadow would’ve gone easy on knights—she doubted that.

Are you alright, Winny?

Not this husk on her head. It was not her Winny. She wished to see her. Hold her. Feel her warmth again. A rage pulsed in her veins; had she not killed Lihn, there would have been someone she could take out her anger on. Sadly, he was dead. So did her rage. A worthless emotion that once in a weeping moon escapes her grasp. Nothing too major—she could control it. Her life would be much simpler and happier If she had control over anxieties and pain like this.

“IRIS!!” Hecate screamed in her ears. She stayed in her mind a moment too long.

Iris stepped back in pain. Her ear rang like a sharp canine pierced her ears, hammering into her brain. Her hand shot to cover it, and her jaw clenched. She did not scream in pain. She had her guard subconsciously lower in this place.

Iris brought her hand in front and looked at the bloody hand. Of course, she bled. The sound was too loud for her fragile body.

Hecate looked at her, her eyes staring at her, large and panicked, her legs stiff yet shaky—she made no effort to approach her. Probably afraid that she would harm Iris again.

Iris made an effort to speak, but the pain was too loud and consuming. Having a rational mind, and control over her body was completely different.

The next moment, The pain intensified and became precise and stingier, making Iris hiss. The awakened state—I need to leave. The world became limpid. Even throbbing, her mind processed everything faster, more intelligible, and precisely. From the slight vibration beneath Hecate’s feet as she shuffled, hesitating to approach, to the way Ianthe’s mana recoiled seeing her blood.

ZAP!!

Iris was in the air, above the weaver’s orb. She could stretch her hand and touch the sky.

ZAP!!

ZAP!!

ZAP!!

Iris was far away from the city. It was an autonomous response. She was not losing control. Yet this was the first time when she would be around humans while in the awakened state. She did not wish to take the risk. If she slipped, harm could be disastrous, especially if Ilona was not here. The fact that she was afraid of losing control irked her. Shameful! Iris sighed and looked around—nothing but a sea of green. She found a cliff to sit on for the state to pass by.

Iris hissed again—the pain came biting again. Wide open area—she would not untie Mother’s Gift here. What if someone saw her eyes?

The pain slowly crawled down to her jaw and lower neck. The awakened state was only torturing her further. She could not do anything about it. It showed how talented she was. Only a slight pain and she tapped into it. Even if she did not want to, she was proud of it.

They would be worried. Another minute or so, and this state should pass. Then she would return. No. She needed to heal her ears first. Where?

Iris sighed, yet Another tiresome situation. She summoned three weaver’s orbs and created a small enclosed structure to hide in while she healed her ear.

….

Ianthe should’ve been worried about Iris. She was, but as a mage, the horror of seeing someone enter the awakened state so easily surpassed the worry. Ianthe turned to panicked Hecate, which was fair. If she hurt Iris the same way, she would too. It was not Hecate’s fault. They couldn’t have guessed how easy it was to damage Iris if she let someone get close to her. She understood why Iris was averse to letting people get close to her.

“I… I’m sorry,” Hecate muttered, shaken.

“It’s not your fault, Hecate,” Ianthe said, power lacking in her voice. “She’ll return once she calms down—please don’t blame yourself.”

“I…” Hecate turned and ran inside. Iantha stood watching her. She was not the best person to provide support. She needed to find Ilona.

“Why did this happen?" Ianthe couldn’t help but ask. As if it were some sick drama.

….