Iris stirred and saw the familiar ceiling—back in the mansion. She pushed herself into a sitting position. She felt weak, tired, and nauseous. Slowly, the memory of her deeds came flooding back in.

"Iris," Iris said, turning to Diantha, who sat on her desk. Her hair was a mess again. Her voice was weak yet gentle, like it always was.

I hurt her.

Iris remembered the moment before passing out. Her hand clenched the soft blanket. Her face twisted as she gritted her teeth. She was a monster. She hurt Diantha, who could not defend herself. She was panicked and wanted to get away. But that was not an excuse for what she did. She was no different than Lihn. She could so easily have killed her.

"Iris?" Diantha turned, not getting an answer. The document she was signing stayed half-signed as the pen slid off, and Diantha rushed to Iris's side. "Everything is fine; please, just stay calm. You can leave whenever you want; I’ll not stop you."

Diantha did not approach her as Iris had expected. She stayed away from the bed. Of course, Diantha was afraid of her after she electrocuted her. She was a monster.

"I’m a monster," Iris muttered. Diantha said no, but it fell deaf to Iris's ears. She made someone like Diantha fear her.

I need to leave... Winny! Where is she?

Iris looked around the room. Winny was sleeping on a pillow. Iris picked her up. She wanted to get away from humans. They made her feel even more miserable than she already felt.

Iris grabbed Winny and placed her on her head. "I’m sorry…" Iris whispered as she slid off the bed. Blade! Iris realized her sword was missing.

Iris turned to Diantha; she could not just leave the blade. "My Katana?" Iris asked.

Diantha pointed at the wall behind her. Iris turned. The katana hung in the air, surrounded by yellow magic circles. Ilona’s magic. Iris cannot break that spell. Her teeth clenched. Everything Ilona does makes her life harder. She wished it was someone else that she had found instead of Ilona.

She needed to find her. Ilona should be in the house. Her steps faltered as she tried to walk. Her mana was still not stable. She needed to eat mana cores. Was it already a week? She needed to eat mana cores once a week, or she would become weak.

Everything felt so wrong. Iris fell on her knees and used the bed as support to sit.

Iris summoned mana cores and swallowed them whole. Mana cores melted as soon as they entered her body. Her body slowly regained energy. Mana cores had a taste, and it was acidic. Iris could puke from the aftertaste of eating mana cores. When she first ate them, it took her hours to eat just one. Now, in less than a minute, she had swallowed a dozen.

Once she was back to her strength, Iris pushed herself up. Diantha was still standing and staring at her.

"I’m sorry…" Iris said again. She was much more calm than when she woke up. That did not stop her urge to leave.

"Iris, wait,"

"I don’t want to..." Iris muttered weakly and opened the door. She wanted to hear what Diantha had to say and the excuse she would come up with for using her. But she was afraid. What if she lost control again? She almost killed an entire city filled with fragile humans. Thanks to Ilona, she did not need to bear the burden of that guilt.

Jasper’s music made her thoughts much more coherent and clear.

She stopped and looked at Diantha. "Why did you not tell me everything?" Iris asked.

"I never thought Hecate would tell you about the raven."

"And that makes it right?" Iris snapped. Her fist clenched. She tried her best not to snap. As soon as Diantha started speaking, the music began to fade away. Jasper’s music would not work if she felt emotional. She must stay calm.

"No, that makes it my burden to bear. You were only ever going to know that Hecate needed to fight in the final."

"And that makes my sin any less? Does my unawareness change the fact that I am still responsible for Hecate’s situation?"

"I made you go along with this; I’m the one responsible. It’s my burden to bear iris, not yours." Diantha walked toward her, still slowly. Iris wanted to believe Diantha was hesitant to approach her because she might panic. But an equal part believed Diantha was afraid of her for what she did to her. Even she was afraid of what she was.

"You just admitted you used me! Is that why you were kind to me? To make me go against Ilona’s agreement?" Iris tried to control her breathing. Stay calm. She whispered to herself. It should’ve been easy, yet she could not.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"What! No, Iris, what are you saying? I would never do that. I didn't think it would make you so upset. I would’ve never made you do that if I had known," Diantha said, coming ever closer. Iris stepped back. She would hurt Diantha. It was better if she stayed away.

"Stay back; you can say whatever you want from there, and know that I don’t trust you... You made me do something vile… I… I hate you," Iris whispered, She wanted to make Diantha feel bad. Make her feel how she felt. Betrayed. Vile. Sad. Angry. And she knew that saying that to Diantha would hurt her. She was kind.

Diantha didn’t hear her words. She continued to approach. Iris panicked. She was in control. She told herself

"Iris, do you really think I would ever show you kindness for something like that?" Diantha stopped in front of her. Iris looked down the corridor. She could run.

"Then, Why?" Iris asked weakly, She again felt tired; she was not strong enough to handle this torrent of emotions. She wanted to leave and return to the labyrinth—there, only killing monsters was what mattered. Not these worthless emotions. She did not need them; the only thing she needed was to save Winny. Then she could rest. Why did she even get attached to these people? They made her life harder than it was.

"Why would I not? You deserve all the kindness, Iris…" Diantha spoke patiently, as if she would run away. Iris so wanted to just take her sword and leave, to cut off these worthless attachments she had built.

Yet she wanted that warm hug, something she was not worthy of after everything she did. She hurt Diantha. She could still see the ghostly whiteness in her face—she had dried her blood. How could she do that?

"Really?" Iris asked suspiciously. She knew Diantha would affirm, and she did not know if she trusted her. But hearing it felt better than not hearing it.

"Yes."

"Are you not lying like Mayumi?" It was an absurd question. She asked it without thinking.

Diantha did not know who Mayumi was. She did not know Iris’s past. And Iris did not want to share it; she did not want to remember her blade stabbing Mayumi’s heart, for that was why Mayumi ever showed her love—to make Iris feel pity and make Iris release her curse. Mayumi showed her kindness because unless Iris loved her as much as her family—as much as they were blood-related siblings—her katana would never reach Mayumi’s heart.

Mayumi deceived her. She showed her love for her own selfishness. Iris did not even know if Mayumi ever truly loved her or if it was just a ruse to find her release. She did not want to be used like that again. Just remembering that moment snapped her. That’s also why she reacted so badly to knowing she was forcing Hecate to kill her sister, whom Hecate did not want to kill.

"If you’re afraid that I’ll ever demand something for the kindness I show, then, no—I’m not like her. If it would give you any respite—I’m willing to make a soul vow. Vow of Price."

Iris visibly recoiled at her words. "N-no… please don’t," The Vow of Price was the same branch of magic as the vow of sacrifice. This soul vow, however, did not give any benefit; it only took a price when the vow was broken. Its existence didn't make sense until today. She now understood why a soul vow existed. A magic that gave no benefit, a vow that could not be forced against someone’s will, and a magic that only took a price.

Iris rushed into Diantha’s chest, "I’m sorry... I hurt you… I was panicked," she said in her childlike quivering voice, her shoulder shaking. She was crying. As much as she could.

"I know… I alone am to blame for what you did; no one else is. The only monster here is me, Iris. I made you do something you did not want to do. I will force Hecate to do something she will hate me for. I alone am the monster." Diantha muttered while she patted her head. Her voice was emotionless. It sent a shiver down Iris’s spine. She looked up. Diantha’s eyes were dim. They were not glowing. She could see the redness and tiredness that the glow hid.

Slowly, she calmed down. And let go of Diantha. "I’m sorry…" Iris said again. It was not for the shock.

"I told you you weren't to blame for what you did."

"Not for that," She did not see the guilt that Diantha must’ve felt. Her burden. Her admission to being a monster made Iris realize she was not alone in feeling guilty for what she did. She was selfish to blame Diantha for what she did. Even more so because Diantha had already explained that the Emperor knew she was not her vassal.

"I’m sorry…" Iris could not think of anything else to say.

"It’s alright. You should rest. I have someone I must meet… and for that, I probably should get changed. You will find Ilona in the main hall," Diantha said, giving her a warm smile.

…

Iris found Ilona in the main hall and asked her to free her sword. Ilona did so reluctantly.

"Lady Ilona, you said you were going to give me a map for the Shattered Realm." Iris at least believed Ilona had said that. So much happened in the last six days that it felt like months.

"You’re going to leave?" Ilona stared at her.

"I’m already out of the tournament. There is no point in wasting my time here anymore."

Before Ilona could say anything, Hecate tackled her to the floor. "What! No, you will see my final match before leaving! I will not let go of you until then."And Hecate hugged her on the floor. She saw Iantha, who was hiding her smile.

"H-Hecate… You’re heavy." Hecate looked at her, inflamed.

"That’s an inappropriate thing to say to a lady!" Hecate shouted but got off.

"I’m sorry," Iris replied as she sat up.

"I’ll have you stay with us until the tournament as an apology... Ah! I must find Lady Diantha before she leaves!" And Hecate, like the day they had first met, full of energy, left.

"She is in a good mood," Iris commented.

"She was worried about you... and seeing you fine lifted all her worries. For now."

"I see,"

"I have asked someone to bring a map of the shattered realm from Magehub, Rena—you need to stay here until someone brings it. And no, you cannot find another map as complete as I will give you, and without that map, you will never be able to find the Edeath before the Festival of the Tree of Eve."

"I’ll stay…" She did not want to; she was getting attached to these people. That was bad.

"Well, today, there is no tournament—how about you and Ianthe go and watch some cartoons... I’m sure it would give your mind much-needed rest. I’m sure Hecate would join in too."

"I will!" Hecate came back, even more happy than she had gone, with Diantha beside her.

"Where are you going?" Ilona asked, seeing Diantha dressed and ready to leave.

"To meet Lord Jeremiah."

"I see," Ilona nodded.

"Don’t worry, Clara is there, and I'm taking Jasper with me."

Ilona threw a yellow jade at her.

"If anything goes awry, use it."

Diantha nodded.

"Are you going somewhere dangerous?" Iris asked.

"No, you can say—Jeremiah is not the best of humans."

"I see…" Iris did not understand if what Diantha said meant anything other than dangerous. Still, if it was Dangerous, then she could leave assurance too.

She conjured a weaver’s orb. Formed it into a ring for Diantha.

"I will be able to sense if things do go wrong," she said, stretching out her hand.

"Are you worried about me?" Diantha smiled, her eyes glowing. Iris nodded. "Aren’t you a cute little knight of mine?"

Diantha hunched over and kissed her forehead, saying, "May Mother bless you." And took the ring. Leaving an extremely uncomfortable Iris on the floor. not shy or embarrassed, but uncomfortable in the negative sense.

Diantha noticed it, but she was already late for the meeting.