Chapter 41- Hella

Fia left.

Ilona decided to stay in Gracia and teach us. She taught us both about magic. This lived for a short time. The next time Stella passed out, she stayed out for a month. She couldn’t leave her bed anymore.

I spent most of my time beside her bed. Master would take us to the sky on her majestic bird. She never showed it, but she was equally sad that Stella couldn’t be saved. Our master took us to very beautiful places. Even if Stella couldn’t be saved, she saw the world with me. Her smile did not waver even when she knew she was dying, and I was the one killing her.

She passed out again; I was holding her at that time. This time to never open her eyes again. Her face had the same smile as always. We couldn’t share our last words. We didn’t know this was the last time she would sleep.

I still blame myself for that. I should’ve said sorry for being her worthless sister; if not for me, she would have lived a fulfilling life. I should’ve told her how much I loved her. How much I hate myself for what I did. I know she would’ve still hugged me and said she was glad I was her sister.

I wanted to hear her say it.

I hadn’t had anything to live for since that day.

I wanted to sleep with her in that coffin, and we would be together forever.

I would’ve.

But I couldn’t.

I couldn’t sleep with Stella.

I saw Lady Diantha crying on my sister's bed. Holding the soft toy she gifted her. She was not the lady I knew. I heard her blaming herself for my sister's death. How worthless she was for not giving her the happiest life.

She was not the Lady Diantha I knew. She was human, weak, and cried in pain, just like me. Not the super cool lady that saved us, that emperor decided to make Grand Duchess after she murdered his nobles, that did not need to sleep.

She was no different from me.

Everything I knew was crumbling in front of me as I saw her bawling her eyes out like a child.

A burdened child who was putting up a front, for she had no one to find comfort in. She could hide away and cry, wipe off her face and wear the mask of the Grand Duchess, and come out calm and collected, not sleeping another night for people who would blame her for the first mistake she made. She would blame herself for the mistake more than anyone else. She would live the rest of her life like that, serving the people of Gracia.

The lady I knew and we—Stella and me—admired did not exist. She was just another Stella, smiling while hiding her pain.

She was kinder than anyone. She blamed herself for the deed that she couldn’t control. She burdened herself more than anyone else. She cared more than anyone else.

She should’ve said I did my best and had forgotten Stella ever existed. We were nothing to her.

Yet she cried like we were her own. Perhaps, to her, we were her daughters. Only, I did not think of that. I wanted to run inside and hug her, tell her how grateful we were for her kindness, and tell her that she should stop blaming herself. But I couldn’t move.

If I went inside, Lady Diantha would think I was saying all that because I felt pity for her. I couldn’t break her persona.

Lady Diantha did not need comforting words. I needed to show her how much she did for us. I needed to give her the same comforting smile Stella gave me. To show her that she was not worthless, that she saved me, and that I could smile because of her.

But I am Hecate; I cannot smile like Stella. I am gloomy and worthless—no, I was not worthless; Lady Diantha saved me; I couldn’t be worthless. I needed to be more than anyone. I needed to smile more than anyone. I needed to smile for me and for Stella, whom I killed. Lady Diantha saved both of us. She deserved to see me as happy as two.

It was not Hecate who she needed. I was both. I needed to be Hella. The happiest and warmest person she will ever need.

Hella would smile and hug Lady Diantha for both Hecate and Stella.

On the day of the funeral, Lady Diantha wore the mask of the Grand Duchess. But seeing my sister, I couldn’t smile. I cried beside her. Lady Dianhta hugged me. So did Master.

I vowed to never cry again. I was going to smile for Lady Diantha and for my kind master, who couldn’t put on the mask and cried with me.

Hella was not worthless; she became the Empire’s youngest Level 4 at just fourteen.

Stella’s dying was the beginning of the pain for me.

The ritual begins with my sister’s death. When the raven on my back becomes complete.

The soul that I sucked off of my sister should’ve made my soul complete. Yet it was still half a soul. My sister’s soul was entrapped in the raven on my back.

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After ascending to Level 4, I began to have nightmares about my sister.

Nightmares always began with my sister covered in blood, begging me to kill her. I did not have control over my body. It would move on its own and behead her.

Every night I would watch my body kill my sister, who would be begging me to do so.

Night after night, I would see my sister beg and die. Would wake up in tears. I did not share it with Lady Diantha. She was already burdened with everything. She did need my tension as well. I would rather find a coffin than become a burden for her. I needed to smile. And I did.

With every death, she resembled a raven more and more.

Master found out about the nightmares when, one day, she checked on me and saw me crying. I couldn’t hide the truth. She agreed to hide from Lady Diantha. We never had another conversation about nightmares. She knew the reason; I did not ask because I was afraid.

Slowly, Stella became a raven. In that nightmare, I could control my body. I held a scythe in my hand, and my sister was in front of me as a bird, begging me to kill her. I couldn’t. How could I when I had already killed her once and watched her die hundreds of times? Every time, she would scream like real Stella.

I was glad; I did not need to hear her scream anymore. I hugged the begging raven and sat in that empty place. I could hold my sister until someone woke me up. I was glad; I just needed to mute Stella’s crying.

It was easy after hearing the same thing for a hundred nights. Night after night, it became redundant white noise. Muting it was easy. I cradled her, my sister, until Lady Diantha’s voice broke the dream.

That day, she found out about the nightmares. She did not say anything, but she was pissed at Master and me. Yet I couldn’t care less about her anger. After all, the raven sat on the window of my room. I wanted both of them to leave so I could hold her.

That, Raven, was a hallucination. The raven on my back entrapped my sister’s soul.

I didn’t know that. I would hold her, an illusion, for hours, elated to have my sister back. It didn’t beg me to kill her, either.

But my kind and all-knowing master found out about her. She said there was nothing in my hand.

"You’re lying!" I screamed. She, of course, was not angry at my misbehavior.

She sat beside me and explained how my sister was trapped in the raven; she could not be here. I hated her for lying. Stella was in my hand. She was lying because Stella had not come to her. I needed to stay away from Ilona, my fake master.

Ilona, in her jealousy, whispered about Stella in Lady Diantha’s ears, hoping Lady Diantha would make me leave Stella for her.

Lady Diantha’s words fell deaf to my ears. I should’ve known better than to trust Lady Diantha; she wanted to take Stella from me to prove to everyone how kind and caring she was. To show the world, she saved my sister so that she could flaunt her ego.

I misjudged her—she was just like Grey Meredith, wanting to use my sister for her selfishness.

"Hella, please just listen to me," Lady Diantha said in her fake kind voice, but I could hear her impatience behind her voice. She was eager to take Stella away from me.

"Leave me alone! You’re just like MEREDITH. "YOU WANT TO TAKE MY SISTER AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed at her, and everyone in the mansion heard me. Old Hag was staring at me from the gap between the doors. Did she want to take Stella too? I needed to seal the door.

After Lady Diantha failed to take my Stella, I locked the door from inside. I needed to leave this place; anyone could break that door and take away my Stella.

Even the nightmares had stopped; now that I had my sister, even in the dream—where she would still beg for death—I didn’t need to kill her.

My paranoia grew; even when they would bring in the food, I would not open the door. One day, the master threatened to break the door. Master was too strong. I could not defend myself against her.

My master wants to take my sister. No, not again. I will stay with her. I couldn’t part ways with my sister.

I couldn’t.

If they must force me, I will be with my sister in the afterlife. I will burn myself and take Stella with me. The master will not take Stella away from me.

I lit everything around me and myself on fire.

But.

Master was too fast and too strong; my fire did not stand a chance. I was tempted to use my soul to make her feel pain, but I did not know at that time if using the vow of sacrifice would kill me instead of taking something else as a price. I was afraid of what would happen if the price was Stella.

Since that day, Master sealed my magic. She had Fia make medicine that would hide Stella from me. And forced me to eat it. She took away my Stella. I couldn’t see her anymore.

I hated her, both of them, Lady Diantha and My Master. Yet, Lady Diantha would still come to my room and wish me a good day, and I did the same. Even if I wished the worst for her in my mind.

She knew. She would leave with her shoulder slumped every day. Seeing her like that, made my day. They took my Stella; everything that made her sad was a joyful thing. I would gleefully see her like that.

Old Hag still pretended to care about me and made everything I would like to eat. I wanted her gone. I wanted everyone gone. If only I could die and end this miserable life. I was surrounded by people I abhorred.

I knew what I needed to do; if I couldn’t hurt them with my flames, I needed to use words. I started cursing whoever came close to me, even my master. I wanted her to snap and end me.

Then, on the day I turned 15, Ilona’s magic broke. I could use fire again.

With that fire came the pain. The raven on my back began to burn out of my flesh.

"ARGH!!" My scream echoed throughout the mansion.

Lady Diantha was the first to rush to my side. The room was already on fire—too hot for her, a non-mage. Yet she did not leave. She lifted me off the floor and left the enflamed chamber by the time the healer and master came. Lady Diantha looked dead. Even in maddening pain, I felt guilty. She did not look like a human. A charred corpse; her majestic hair was gone.

The guilt was only for an instant, as the pain turned everything white.

No one could do anything.

Slowly, the raven on my back came alive. My sister was reincarnating. From my flesh and blood. After hours of excruciating pain, it clawed out, covered in blood.

[Requirements Satisfied: System has granted the title ‘Raven’ to individual Hecate]

[Ritual: The Advent of the Reaper succeeded.]

[Unique class: Repear is now available.]

[Quest: Immolation of Scion in the Process: Slay the Reincarnated Individual Stella with fire magic to ascend to level 5 as the Repear]

[Death of the raven in any other form would result in the death of individual Hecate.]

"Hecate… I beg you... Please kill me…" It said in between its painful cries, bloody tears flowed down its face.

It was Stella’s voice; she stood in front of me as a raven. It was begging. It shouldn’t be. This disgusting creature was an imposter. My Stella would never beg me to do something so vile. My Stella would rather suffer eternal hell than ever force her little Hecate to do something vile.

"I… hate… you, vile creature."

Even if, in my heart, I knew this creature was Stella, I could not kill her. Even in this form, she was still alive. My sister was alive. I wanted to hold her, but her begging voice drove me insane. I couldn’t bear to see her in pain. I wanted this nightmare to end.

I passed out after that. The next time I woke up, Raven was still in my room.

"Hecate… Please end my suffering…. I beg of you, please kill me."

I cannot kill my sister.

I would rather kill myself. I tried, but my master stopped me.

After a week, Lady Diantha woke up. She held me in her arms as I cried. She was so warm, even after everything I said to her.

Lady Diantha promised me to find a way to solve this. Fia concocted another medicine in the name of hallucination, which stopped every sound made by the raven.

So we reached a point of stasis. I would ignore the raven and live my life, knowing my sister still lives.

Until today, where I must kill the raven or leave Lady Diantha to a worse fate. I regret not sleeping with my sister on that day. I have failed to give Lady Diantha any reason to feel proud of saving us, and too many reasons to regret it. I wish it was me who died.