Hecate ran off after hearing Ilona’s explanation. Blood thumped in her head; her heart was swelling inside her chest, her whole body felt stiff as if the blood had stopped flowing through her veins; and her vision grew blurred, but the raven was still stuck on the edge of it.

Her breathing became ragged as she ran and ran, not knowing her destination. She saw a rock and used her fire to mold it into a flying platform. Her soul craved to distance herself from this place. And she flew away.

A short flight later, the rock began to crumble, yet Hecate failed to notice it. Her mind buzzed with rage at Ilona and at her lady. She was no fool. Diantha wanted her to kill the raven. Hecate would not, would never kill it.

"How… can I?" Hecate muttered. "How can I kill my sister?" She muttered, her voice filled with grief.

The platform completely crumbled, and Hecate fell to the ground as if a doll were tumbling down. The fall was short. And heavy, as Hecate did not even try to save herself. Her left shoulder took the brunt of the impact. With a loud crunch, it shattered. Shock and pain finally brought Hecate to the real world. She screamed in pain. Her face twisted in agony.

She shot up to a sitting position and clenched her teeth to stop the screaming. Her right hand hovered above the broken shoulder; her instinct was to hold her shoulder, but the sane part knew that was foolish.

The pain slowly numbed as her warm mana soothed it. She fell on her back, staring at the dead moon above her.

She could see it as clear as day. Her head thumped with even more pain. Everything became clear. The calming pain came back again, much more intense. So much so that her vision was fading into whiteness, but it was just a feeling.

She could feel everything. From the crawling insects to the number of leaves on the tree, the raven looking down at her with pity in its eyes, and the weird mass of mana coming toward her that did not belong to Ilona

She was in the awakened state.

"I want to die…" She muttered weakly. She did not like this situation. She regretted burning the inspector’s son even more. She forced herself into this situation, which was tormenting everyone around her. Her master, her lady, Iris, and Felix.

She was worthless—if she could only kill this raven who was begging her to kill it, but she could not listen to its voice anymore because her lady did not wish for her to hear it, and her master had Fia create a medicine that stopped all its voices. And they call it medicine for hallucinations.

"How can I kill you…." Hecate mumbled, tears flowing down her face. Blood started to pool under her from the broken skin on her shoulder.

I will die here, leaving you and everyone else to suffer.

Of course, the Awakened State would force her to suffer thoroughly for her deeds.

She stared at the raven; she could still see her face in the raven, a face that was identical to her twin’s.

How could she kill her sister, who held her hand for as long as her memory begins?

…

My first memory is of Stella holding my hand and feeding me something she had stolen. Her face was beaten up, yet she had a warm smile on her bruised face.

Unlike her, I was always sick, so she had to steal food for us.

I was six years old when Grey Meredith found us. Me and my sister. He said we were special—twins born of a single soul. He had searched for half-soul for sixty years, and we were the only ones that were alive. Half-souls were always stillborn.

Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

He said we would receive food every day, a soft bed, and everything we would ever want. It was the greatest day of our lives.

And we received everything. And along with that, the pain that we should have known he would inflict as a price. We were still grateful; pain always came in the morning and late in the evening; other times we were allowed to eat, sleep, and play. We were having the happiest time of our lives.

The only thing sad about my life was seeing Stella cry in pain.

That changed one day when Grey Meredith offered me a choice: take Stella’s pain as well, and they would leave her alone. I agreed, of course, thinking it was the right thing to do. It was not. If I had refused that day, today Stella would be alive and I would be dead. I killed her that day.

I do not know what experiment they conducted on me; his name was Dr. Fenroy. every time he would inject another serum, and I would regret agreeing to take Stella’s pain. But that thought would fade away, just like the pain. And I would be glad—I agreed.

When we turned 9, Grey Meredith broke his promise and placed both me and Stella in two gray magic circles, meters away from each other. It was the night of the Reaper; a blood moon and a dead moon hung in the sky. We were in the garden, and the blood of the Blood Moon fell on our bodies, dying both of us red. People circled us, using magic to protect themselves from the blood.

It was the most painful day of our lives. The blood of the Blood Moon melts humans' skin; we thought we would die, but those people were healers. They continued to heal us until the gray magic was filled with our melted bodies. It continued until the blood stopped raining.

When they pulled us out, our backs had tattoos of a broken raven that, when merged, would create a complete raven.

After that, the experiment continued for both of us. They did not let us play outside; we were locked in a room, surrounded by mages. Sometime, Dr. Fenroy would come and beat us, screaming how we had failed him.

Stella was still stronger than me and still held me when I cried. Even though I knew she was in the same pain as me, I felt secure seeing her smile. I forced her to smile, even in pain. I was a worthless, cruel sister who leeched off her strength.

When we turned 10, there was a fire in the mansion. Everything was red. We could not break the door, and the mage still did not let us out.

Stella held me as we waited to be burned along with the room. I was crying; even Stella was.

Then the burning door opened, and we saw Lady Diantha for the first time. She was covered in blood and had a polearm in her hand, which she used to cleave the mage in half. She was the most fearsome thing we had ever seen. Those eyes shone in madness for blood. Yet the madness vanished when our eyes met. She frowned as she walked closer to her.

Stella pushed me back and stood in front to stop her. I could see her knees shaking, but she stood firmly. Tears filled Lady Diantha’s eyes as she stood before Stella, let go of the polearm, and hugged her tightly.

"I’m sorry. I couldn’t save you earlier," She said her voice was filled with grief. Tears followed down her face. "I promise, I will give you every happiness in the world."

She picked up Stella, and then me. She was warm. We held on to her until we fell asleep.

When we woke up, we were in a small house far away from everyone. Old hag was also there to take care of us. Lady Diantha had been taken to the capital as a murderer by the time we woke up. She left enough money with Old Hag for her to take care of us for the next 50 years in case she was executed in the capital. Old Hag explained it to us.

The next half-month we spent eating and sleeping. We were too scared to go out and play. Old Hag tried her best to make us smile. We couldn’t.

Slowly, when we were no longer taken anywhere to pay the price, our skepticism began to fade. Then, we heard from Old Hag that Lady Diantha was appointed Grand Duchess of the Gracia. Old Hag was actually happy and smiling. She took us to the Lancaster Mansion and began preparations for her return.

There was a celebration for her return. Old Hag asked if we wanted to join the celebration. We refused. She left us, telling us that Lady Diantha would meet us after the celebration.

Yet, the first thing Lady Diantha did after returning was to find us. Her face was filled with worry.

She cared about us like we were her daughters. She hired the best healer in the empire to heal us. She hired tutors to teach us. We began to learn magic. There was never pain, only happiness.

We never slept in our room, but in Lady Diantha’s. She would hold us when we had nightmares. She spent nights doing her work. We never saw her sleeping.

We asked her once, and she explained: For the tribute that each state paid to the court of Laks, she needed to earn that money and pay it herself. Before, it was paid by the populace and three houses combined.

We lived the happiest time of our lives with Lady Daintha. Old Hag taught us to wish her a good day, and we never missed wishing her a good day, even when we became I.

She would pat our heads when we studied hard or learned a new spell or anything. It became a competition between me and Stella to see who would get more affection from Lady Diantha.

The happiness dwindled when we turned 12. One day, Stella passed out during our training.

She did not wake up the next day. The healer could not tell what happened. Lady Diantha was panicked just like me, but she could do something unlike the worthless me. She began to call all the renowned healers from the empire. They all failed to say anything.

Stella’s passing out became more frequent, and the duration went from days to weeks. She grew more bony and weak with each time.

Old Hag observed that the raven on my back was becoming complete and Stella’s was fading.

After exhausting every other option, Lady Diantha decided to take us to Rena. Fia was the divine healer of the Roundtable Rivals. If there was any hope for us, it was Fia.

Yet that option failed, as the Emperor prohibited Lady Diantha from leaving the Empire. Either send us with someone else, for which Lady Diantha was hesitant. Or, call Fia here, which was impossible.

Except for Lady Ilona, who was traveling the continent and came to meet Lady Diantha, could do it. She offered to call Fia to Gracia. I still don’t know the price Lady Diantha paid for that.

Fia came and observed Stella and then me. She concluded Stella was beyond saving. The ritual that was performed years ago was finally manifesting. Stella will die as the Raven on my back becomes complete. The only solace she could give was a painless death for both of us, as the ritual would lead to a far more cruel fate.

I was heartbroken as she explained that I was the bearer and she was the catalyst. My soul was mutated to suck Stella. I realized why. That’s what they were doing to me when they left Stella alone. I killed her.

That day, I saw Lady Diantha angry for the first time, when Fia offered solace. Lady Ilona held her down.