Mary’s lips trembled for the briefest of moments, before a firm determination once again took root.
“Mis… Mister Joe! What do you mean ‘no’? This should be the time for all of us to join forces and beat back the darkness, right~?”
The honeyed words rang in the air, where countless birds were fluttering their pristine white feathers to and fro. Such a scene - which felt as if it had come straight out of some fairy tale - was magical, to say the least…
By the way, could I even use magic?
“No.”
“… Oh! I get it now! Hardy-har-har~ Very funny, Mr. Joe. Still, let’s stop jesting, alright? I know that you didn’t mean it when you said-”
I could hardly take my eyes off the angel’s lips, especially when the crowd had grown completely still in order to not disturb her speech.
However, this had also made the disturbance caused by a nearby cat – who was leisurely hopping from one rooftop to another – much more prominent in my mind.
Speaking of which, were catkins oppressed in the Golden Empire at all?
“No.”
“Knock it off! Stop fooling around already!!! Just… You’re just being a dunderhead right now!”
Like glass, the façade of perfection began to shatter.
I was close… So very close…
Focus!
One plus one equaled three, yes or no?
“No.”
“…!!!”
And so, the charm was broken, with the charming maiden fuming where she stood.
All around her, people groggily swayed back and forth, as if they had just woken up from one sweet dream.
How frightening…
Back when Mary Stew and Gary Stool first arrived at the town’s gate, I had already noticed the effect both siblings had on the group of villagers who waddled along.
Awe and admiration, bordering on fanaticism, were plain to see even back then…
Now, though?
The insignificant stool could beat the living daylights out of any divine weapon, while some ordinary stew would manage to tame even the most violent of foes.
That was the flashy, obvious spectacle, easily seen on the surface.
None of such impressed me. Not even a bit.
Instead, it was the way both siblings unconsciously bent reality to their favor - to the point where every obstacle only served to show how cool and overpowered they were - that got me wary.
Always getting things your way would simply make the eventual failure all the more bitter, after all.
Case in point.
“… Why? You… You big meanie! Terrible! Silly beard! Doodoo brain! Boo!!!”
Um hum. Mary’s need to improve her lackluster vocabulary of curses aside, I believed that I also needed to make something clear.
Shaddup! My wizard beard looks awesome, dammit!!!
[ | | ]
*Scratch*Scratch*
Scruffy sounds filled the air, causing everyone – especially those who were still in a daze – to turn and stare at me.
The image of a beardy seer playing around with his beard must have been quite a sight, that was for certain.
Anyway, some of Mary’s most “simpering fans” had already broken out of their stun and were well on the way to throttle my throat, so perhaps it was time for to get a bit more serious.
“Yes... YES!!! I... I see!!!”
With these simple words, the entire crowd once again froze solid, and I almost couldn’t stop the smirk that threatened to break out on my lips.
It had been a long road getting to this point, indeed.
At first, just a shoutout here. Then, an outlandish claim there, all while making some connections based on obvious tropes.
“Hm, our tavern needs more hired hands but people around here are too shady? I think that Onnet Meadhedge guy and Bone Afire gal might be worth a shot, boss!”
“Welcome, dear customer! May we know the name of such an esteemed inspector such as yourself? Huh? Robyn... Hooded? Uh... No, no, no! Our newest drink is completely legal and safe for consumption, of course... By the way! Did you hear? There is this funny rumor about a noble, missing food and stolen supplies. Lemme me tell you all ‘bout it...”
“Hey, kids! Wanna make some quick cash? No, wait, don’t beat me up!!!”
Of course, it didn’t take long before I needed to go all in on a single bet, all while ignoring the potential of being further disarmed...
“Fellas! So, how was your trip in the dungeon? Hm? Ah, don’t worry, there’s no hard feelings between us... Really! Being punched in the face was a small price to pay, especially since I could help you put more food on the table for your family. That said... I... I see... I SEE!!! Perhaps, there’s a certain place which might be worth a visit on your next raid...”
Yet, after all was said and done, I had finally managed to do it.
I had, without a doubt, become a professional shill!
Thank you, retail. All those hellish lessons you taught about branding, marketing and gaslighting have certainly been put to good use.
That said...
Once my words sunk in, quiet ripples within the crowd slowly grew into hushed whispers, before becoming a storm of shouts that seemed to shake the very town square itself.
Everyone seemed to be swept along by the flow, as well as a need to know the answer to one simple question.
“What did he mean by that!?”
“Has... Has seer seen doom...? We dead, even if work with pretty angel...?”
“Is this it? Is this the end!!?”
“THEN WHAT CAN WE EVEN-”
“Peace, everyone! Peace!!!”
.
.
.
No thoughts, head empty.
No anger, hands on hold.
No hatred, heart forgive.
.
.
.
Immediate silence followed the ethereal voice that just entered one’s head.
All minds turned blank, having been pacified by an invisible providence.
All, except three people, or course…
“Amazing… My head feels so clear, as if having a good nap.”
“Same here, little bro! This feels so much better than staying angry at that bugly beardie!!!”
“Well screw you too, little brat…”
“Huh…? Mister seer, are you still conscious!?”
“… No?”
“Let there be light! UNITY!!!”
.
.
.
… Nothing.
No nothing.
Nothing remains, nothing left…
.
.
.
At the resounding word, an invisible wave of… something… seemed to wash over the mass, given how everyone was now swaying in one direction.
I turned to look at Gary and Mary.
One was wobbling quite a bit on his feet, while the other had stopped waving a hand in front of me in favor of clutching her own head.
Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
Both had a pained look on their face, as if this miracle invoked by the archpriest was-
They were muttering something constantly. I could barely make out the words should really just focus on something else, given how what those two said were simply gibberish that would just ruin my da-
“The end is never the end is simply the end i s a l w a y s t h e e n dnoinosnohnoonopnoenofnounolnolnoynonotnonohnonoenonoenononnonodnonoinonosnonopnonoanonoinononnonof nonounonolnonolnonoynononotnononohnononoenononoenonononnononodnononoinononosnononocnononornononounononoenononolnononolnononoynononotnononohnononoenononoenonononnononodnononoinononosnononomnononoynononosnononotnononoenononornononoinononoonononounononosnononolnononoynonononotnonononohnonononoenonononoenononononnonononodnonononoinonononosnonononounononononnonononodnonononoononononounonononobnonononotnonononoenonononodnonononolnonononoynonononotnonononohnonononoenonononoenononononnonononodnonononoinonononos madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness mad madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness mad madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness ness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness madness mad
…
Oh…
… Mary and Gary were just reciting some silly mantra, that was all.
It was fine.
I still felt fine…
In fact, let’s talk about something much more interesting!
The miracle of understanding lingered inside my head, and an ethereal voice continued to echo within. Yet, unity didn’t seem to affect me one bit.
Weird, huh?
Then again, even though I couldn’t do magic or be affected by magic, some things might still fall through the cracks every now and then…
For example, the fireball casted from a spell would pass by me harmlessly, yet some fucking boulder conjured by that random ass mage could still show me who was boss.
Good thing I wasn’t left-handed when it all went down, HAH!
…
Yeah.
That must be it…
Anyway.
The old archpriest heaved out heavy sighs of relief, seeing how serenity had enveloped the mass once more.
Upon his temple, long beads of sweat were still falling down like a waterfall, nurturing the soil below with whatever bitterness that the holy man must be feeling right now.
It was considered taboo to use miracles and sap away freewill, after all.
To be honest, this pragmatic side of his – always willing to bend the rules for the greater good – was what I admired most.
“And yet, needs must…”
Thus, I could only mutter the phrase that had been repeated by myself for countless of times, before offering the kind old man one respectful nod as he collapsed in complete exhaustion.
With this, the biggest obstacle had been dealt with.
Now, it was finally time for the closing act of this predictable show.