I was sitting in Yuval’s diner in a certain city of deep shadows and crime. Across from me, sat a bookish-looking man who spoke with a stutter, and was surrounded by heaps of portfolios. I had the man’s laptop sitting in front of me, and one of his portfolios open at my side. I looked through the research he’d done, and the results he’d been able to come up with and shook my head.

“Okay...So, all this is garbage…” I said.

“Wha-...!? But, I’ve spent years working on this! How could you say that my work is…?!” sputtered the man.

“Relax….I didn’t say that your work is bad. Nor do I mean this as a personal attack. I’m simply saying that based on what I’m seeing. The results you obtained...are complete garbage…Some of these numbers are corollary to other factors, and a lot of those formulas you came up with are completely wrong...But they’re only so, for reasons beyond your control,” I said. Speaking in placating tones, because I’d learned that mad scientists were often sensitive sorts.

“And that’s different how?” said the man. Looking like he was on the verge of some very angry tears.

“Like I said...Because it’s not your fault…” I said. Trying to be patient because mad scientists could be quite diva-ish about their work. Opening a new document in the man’s laptop and typing some things down. My Empty-Archive was making some very odd, very happy noises, as I drew from its contents to supply answers to the questions posed by the man’s research.

“....What?” said the man. Looking completely lost and still a bit offended.

“So, your research regarding Phase-5 transdimensional particles is actually pretty good...In a bubble...The problem is that as a whole. Your work is garbage...Not because you are garbage, but because you’re stuck in a garbage position….Phase-5 particulate phenomena largely happen in the 5th dimension. You and the rest of this universe are only able to move in 3 dimensions, and your perception of the 4th dimension is limited at best...Trying to describe 5th-dimensional phenomena from your point of view, is like trying to describe what’s happening in a movie from a full street away, while some big guy is standing in front of you...You got me….Ergo?” I said.

The man blinked. Frowning a bit before correlating my words with some of his own frustrations with his work.

“Oh...Oh!...So...It wasn’t my fault…”

“Exactly. You’re not crazy…Those accidents were all but inevitable if these readings were all you had to work with...You’re just studying meteorology, while 5000 miles underneath the earth right now. Your bosses ‘were’ being unreasonable. And frankly, you should be proud of having managed to get even these results. I’d say you’re probably better off looking into another field, since the phenomenon you're trying to look into is so remote from your experience and the world’s experiences that it hardly matters as far you're concerned..." I said.

"But as an academic sort myself, I know what’s it like to have a burning question that won’t let you go...So I’d advise looking into ‘this’ first, so you can get a better view of things...Caution though, there’s some ‘go mad from the revelation’-stuff mixed in that you should definitely be careful of...Also, as a double warning the further in you go, the more dangerous this gets for you...There are ‘things’ living in the spaces you’ll be wandering down that aren’t really amenable to lower-dimensional life forms,” I said. Turning the laptop around and pushing it towards the man.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

The man looked over the notes I’d written up. The notes comprised a mixture of familiars. Texts and treatises within this universe that I thought the man would be able to use. As well as instructions, for how to safely tap into 5th-dimensional space.

“I...Well...Tha-, Thank you,” said the man. Looking teary-eyed.

“Don’t mention it,” I said. Nodding.

The man quickly packed up his things and headed off. Leaving the diner after paying his bill. I ordered another coffee and sighed in content as I watched a heavy drizzle fall onto the streets outside. I opened my system and began to do some work with the Empty-Network. Then I opened a sub-tab to check on some probes I’d sent to the blob of living music that was nested on the outer edge of this universe. It seems that particular zit still wasn’t ready to pop. There was a gentle tap on my shoulder that had me pulling my attention back to the Sigfrid Galaxy and the little diner.

I blinked, looked up, and saw Yuval standing at my side, wearing her usual friendly, yet sardonic, smile.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey, yourself…” said Yuval.

“So, how’s the shift going?” I said.

“It’s pretty good...Tonight’s a slow night, so I only had to warn off ‘one’ idiot who looked like he was eying the cash register a bit too much,” said Yuval.

“Ngh...Must be because winter’s almost here,” I said.

“Hm, maybe...Maybe not. Anyway, how was your thing?” said Yuval.

“Eh...It wasn’t bad. That guy was a luck-based villain named the Green-Porpoise...but he all his math completely wrong…” I said.

Yuval frowned and shook her head.

“Probability and fate...The fifth and sixth dimensions...Lie outside of time and space...Mortals can only just barely feel them. Never mind, properly measuring them,” scoffed Yuval.

I nodded.

“Yeah, that’s roughly what I said too, but I gave the guy some leads if he really wanted to jump down that rabbit hole,” I said.

Yuval chuckled.

“That’s quite the hobby you have there...First, you were a hero watcher. Now you do consultations with science-based villains…” said Yuval.

I shrugged.

“Most mad scientist types can be split between two groups. The actual criminals who just happen to be scientists, and regular academics who just happened to fall into crime because of ‘reasons’…” I said.

“That still doesn’t explain why you’re helping them,” said Yuval.

I took another sip of coffee and shrugged again.

“Meh...It’s something to do,” I said. That first supervillain I helped with deciphering the cure for her husband’s disease, came back to thank me with her husband in tow. Then since apparently even supervillains have their own little cliques and groups that they subscribe to, she must have spread the info on how, or why, she'd dropped out of the costumed-crook game, because other bookish sorts in and out of costume started showing up at the diner.

I was hesitant at first, but I found that I liked the challenge of trying to resolve their various issues. I generally didn’t help those who were out to disrupt the world and gain power, but those who were in it because they absolutely needed to achieve a goal, or simply because they wished/needed to fund their own academic curiosity would usually be able to get my help for the low cost of few cups of coffee and maybe an entre.

“So, Mad Doctor Calloway...Are you ready to head home, big guy?” said Yuval. Proffering her hand.

I smiled, taking her hand and getting up from the little booth I was sitting at.

“Sure.”